My Story of Margaret Willetta Bush Clarke
A life can be recorded by facts and dates but it’s the stories we create and share that keep alive the person we’ve loved.So I’ll speak about some of facts, which are true, but mostly I want to share some of the stories of my mum, as they are the truth of who she was to me and who I knew her to be. We all have different stories and knew Margaret in our own unique way. I hope some of you will take the opportunity a bit later to share a story you hold dear about mum.Margaret Willetta Bush was born on 27 of August, 1929 , the firstborn child of Clara and John Bush. Her siblings Glenn, Willard and Malcolm followed in that order. Mum grew up in the small Alberta town of Olds, in the same house her mother Clara was raised in . It was a strong Christian family, deeply involved in the community, yet mum’s family was slightly unconventional. Her father, John, was previously married and a single parent of young Evelyn when he married Clara (who was Evelyn’s piano teacher). With only ten years, between Clara and Evelyn, I imagine Evelyn was l more like a second mum than a sister to my mum. I don’t know that for a fact, but I do know that Evelyn and her family (the Vincents) were very dear to mum’s heart.
I loved the family gatherings in Olds when the Vincent cousins could join us as they brought along their huge sense of humour … there was always a lot of laughter. Our family gatherings always involved singing around grandma’s grand piano with grandma playing and everyone singing lots of harmonies. Music has always been a centre piece of the Bush/Clarke family.
1936 was a year of both joy and heartbreak for mum’s family, the joy of Evelyn’s marriage and the sorrow of the tragic death of mum’s younger brother, Glenn, at age five. Mum would have been almost seven, Willard, 3 and Malcolm just a baby. It’s hard to imagine what effect losing Glenn had on the family, especially on Grandma.
One of the childhood stories about mum that became legend for me was of an 8 year old girl breaking her arm. My memory of the story was that mum was playing with friends and thought she’d try out the Mary Poppin’s technique, so she jumped off the roof of the Victoria Hotel’s Ice House holding an umbrella, thinking it would guarantee a soft landing. Needless to say, it didn’t and mum’s broken arm made the news in the local paper. (imagine a world where a child’s broken arm makes the news!)
I did wonder if the Mary Poppins part of the story was just a figment of my imagination, but I did a bit of research and Mary Poppins was first published in 1934 – which makes my account at least plausible.
After school , mum moved to Calgary and studied at secretarial college. She shared a flat on 5th avenue with another young woman, where mum did all the cleaning and her house mate did all the cooking. This might have worked well for mum then but when she married my dad, 1953, she found herself in new territory. My dad’s mum was a fabulous cook, so expectations were high … I remember mum telling me she buried a lot of dinners in the backyard in the early days of their marriage.
Don and Margaret met at First Baptist Church, in Calgary, both members of the church choir, where they shared a love of singing which continued throughout their marriage. Mum was a dedicated member of the Sweet Adelines and sang in the Chinook Winds and Alberta Gold choruses, as well as with numerous quartets and the Gold Diggers group (which my dad directed).
Despite the fact that mum was a quite shy and accommodating person, she surprisingly thrived on stage and loved performing as you’ll see in some the slide show photos. Once all her children were in past the primary school age, Mum worked as a secretary at Mount Royal college for number of years. One of mum’s unusual forays, despite being an introvert, was when she took a job as a tour guide taking busloads of Canadians down to Las Vegas … not the kind job for the faint hearted. I think mum enjoyed herself on these trips but the job didn’t last long as it took her away from home, dad and us kids for too long.
By nature, Margaret was a very creative person. She loved to explore and learn new things, she was an expert knitter and made some gorgeous knitted suits in the 50’s and 60’s. She painted, had a long interest in ceramics and crafts like needlepoint & hooked rugs. Our house was full of her projects!
But Mum’s strongest passion was her love for my dad, Don Clarke. They both were devoted to each other. Their love of family, music and travel shaped the life they created together.
Margaret and Don had three children; their firstborn, my sister Catherine just a little over a year after they married, my brother Terry, 18 months later and surprise, four years later on February 19th … me! Happy Birthing Day mum. Mum was a very tiny woman who made very big babies! And her doctor advised no more children after Terry! But surprise, there I was and here I am.
Mum and dad travelled extensively with Madge and Earle Clarke- dad’s brother and sister-inlaw and their dear friend Joyce Spence. It was a long-lasting travelling team but often quite perplexing as the couples were like the old couple! Mum and dad loved late nights, woke late in the morning, were very cruisy about plans; Madge and Earle were the complete opposites – woke bright and early, went to bed early, like to get organised and had very specific things they wanted to do each day. Somehow, they made it work! My sister Catherine lived with mum and dad most of her life and was very close to mum. Catherine was there for mum and dad as they aged and it was a great relief to me as lived so far away. The love between Catherine and mum was a source of joy and support for both of them. Catherine often joined mum and dad on their travels, particularly on their numerous trips to Australia. I was very lucky that my mum was always keen to hop on a plane and instigate a trip to see me as often as possible.
I have so many memories of mum … it’s been very difficult to figure out what NOT to say.
So I decided to make at list … which is hilariously because it’s exactly what mum always did! She loved lists and so do I, so does my daughter, Molly.
Here’s my list:
- Mum lost most of her hair after I was born … and still she loved me!
- I scared her to death when at the ripe age of five, I played hooky from kindergarten and instead went to the playground with my 4 year old friend, Patty … neither of us telling anyone where we were going. We had a great afternoon! … but not when we got home to find my mum totally distraught and in tears and the police at the door.
- I broke her heart twice … well two times that I’m prepared to own up too! Once when I casually called her on the phone from Vancouver to tell her I got married the previous weekend! And she still continued to love me! The other was when I told her I was moving to Australia and still continued to she love me!
- For years mum ended all our phones between Canada and Australia asking two questions: “are you thinking of coming home?” And “do you need any money?” Eventually she stopped asking one of those questions!
- Mum and I shared a love of the arts, for swimming, list making, escapes to the mountains, singing and for each other.
- Mum’s love was steadfast, unwavering and unconditional. She loved her children, encouraged and supported them no matter what they did or didn’t do.
- My friends loved my mum … they felt so welcome by her and that she was genuinely interested in them … which she was.
- Mum adored her grandchildren and loved spending time with Jason and Alix, attended all their concerts and performances of which there were plenty! And the surprise grandchild, Molly … who popped into her life late in the day and brought so much delight and joy.
- Mum’s happy place was in the mountains, holidaying in their trailer! It was the one clash between my parents that was only ever resolved when they were living away in the trailer. My mum hated mess and clutter and my dad couldn’t throw anything away. In the trailer you could only have what you needed and everything had its place.
My list could go on and on and it will in my thoughts and memories.
I would love to end things here but I think it’s important to acknowledge the difficult parts of life, not many of us escape without experiencing hard things, and mum certainly didn’t.
In 2009, I got a call from my sister, Catherine, telling me I needed to come home from Australia, things with mum weren’t good. And I did. My dad and I took my mum to her family doctor for a memory test, which she failed. It was heartbreaking to watch … by the end of the 20 minute interview mum had her diagnosis - dementia.
In the following years we watched this terrible disease steal mum’s memory and mind. Dad and my sister Catherine, with the help of live-in care workers, looked after mum at home with devotion. My brother, Terry and sister-in law, Barb also played a huge part in caring for mum. It took a toll on everyone one but it was most difficult for my dad and my sister, Catherine. After my dad died in 2014, mum went into long-term care at the Glenmore, where she lived for another seven years.
Finally, mum is free, which is such a relief and a blessing and I know she’d more than happy to finally be joining her soul mate, Don.
In closing, I just want to say dementia wasn’t who my mum was … and I never want it to define her life. She was a kind, creative, loyal and loving woman and I‘m eternally grateful to have been her daughter and to have called her my mum.
