Happy Birthday Mom, I miss you and Sam so much. So alot has happened since I last wrote you, Joanna had a beautiful and I mean Beautiful baby girl Phoenix Noreen Marion Smith, she was 7 pds 13 Oz 19.5 length she looks so much like Joanna, I wondered what being a Grandma would be like and now I know, I'm so in Love with her I can't get enough which probably drives Joanna crazy lol but I'm just over the moon, Alex and JoAnna are engaged and he used your wedding ring, you would love him mom he's so good to Joanna and an amazing father to Phoenix, he has a 17yr old named Brianna really cute nice girl. I just hope I'm a good Grandma as you were to Joanna, I so wish you were here to see her but I know you have seen her and are In love as much as I am. So Joanna told you her full name and I was shocked she put Marion in it and very proud of Joanna, Alex's moms name too because she is up there in heaven also. My granddaughter will want for nothing as long as I'm on this earth. Please give Sam a hug and kiss from me I miss him so much also he would be so proud of Joanna she is a natural mother which you said she would be. She has found her love of her life and I Love them so much. I truly am happy now I see them all the time and I know I light up when I see Phoenix of course I call her Grandmas little peanut my nickname for her. I know her son Orion is up there with you and I'm sure he is being spoiled by the 4 of you, Sam you and Alex's parents. Well I could go on and on but I will end now. I miss you and Sam so much every day I think of you the best parents I could of asked for, I have you in my heart and a day doesn't pass that I don't think of you. I love and miss you both, til we meet again I Love You. Xoxoxoxo

Hey grandma it's been awhile... I miss you so much... So much has happened since you been gone... Well I had a baby girl and her name is Phoenix Noreen Marion Smith... Yes I gave her your name... And the other name is Alex's mom's name... Alex is her dad... I wish you could have met him... He is wonderful and amazing... I finally found the love that you and papa have... I wish you were here to see Phoenix you would absolutely fall in love with her... Mom is head over heals for her and I wish you could see mom with her she is amazing... Aunty Kim, Heather and Ryan came out with the boys and Ashley and seen her and they love her... Dad and his wife came out also... Now we just gotta get Robby out here to see her... Then the whole family has been out to see her... She is so precious... I still can't believe I'm a mom now and like I said I wish you were here to see it... Well Happy Birthday... I hope you and papa can see me... Take care of Orion for me and I love you and papa forever...

Hi Mom

Well this past year and a half have been terrible, Joanna was pregnant, Sam went in the hospital, Joanna had a miscarriage, Sam got out of the hospital, Joanna got pregnant again with twins to loose them, I stayed at your house with Sam to take care if him and gad to call an ambulance, Sam died, than Joanna got pregnant last December and her baby's heart stopped and she delivered him at 21wks and now she is pregnant again and has morning sickness really bad so it looks like I'm gonna become a grandma finally. She is doing really good this time. I miss you and Sam so much, it's like I have nobody now to talk to, I use to talk to Sam all the time now both my best friends are gone and I miss you both. I'm so lonely it's terrible most of my friends have passed away I only have Marlene to talk to. Brian is finally doing good, Kim well what can I say about her always something wrong with her. So that's all for now, I really really miss you both but am glad your together, I love you both and until we meet again I carry you both in my heart.

Love you Mom and Sam

Mom, we've been trying to get Sam's ashes to the cemetary but we are having trouble with Danny
 He had a memorial set up for him and we all showed up to find out he canceled it the day before and didn't tell us, he says he is rescheduling it I told him to just have him put in with you that's all he wanted but you know his kids, now that Sam is gone they won't answer our calls, they are mad about the will which has nothing to do with us but who cares, I will be glad when this is over and Sam and Brandys ashes are with you. I miss you both so much but am glad your together. Til we see eachother again I will miss you both and keep you in my heart. Love you Mom and Dad aka Sam

Dear Mom.
I know now that you are happy that Sam is with you and Brandy, we're putting Brandys remains in the cemetery so your all 3 together. It's so hard cleaning out your house knowing were never gonna see either of you til we join you in heaven. I love you both and no one knows how hard this is on me, Sam was the last piece of you I had, we talked every day, I sat with him at the hospital before he passed and your right Sandra stirred up shit with me but Sam said ignore her kinda hard you know how I feel about him. I love you both with all my heart so hard having him gone now too. Til we meet again be happy

Hi Mom, I can't believe it's been 5yrs already, seems like just yesterday I said see you later. Doesn't matter how much time goes by I miss you everyday and talk to you every night. I'm doing my best to take care of Sam, he isn't doing real good but I keep my promise to take care of him til he joins you. I Love and Miss You So Much, til we meet again I will continue to miss you

Love You Always Mom

Hi Mom, I'm sure you know I lost my baby Shasta, her spleen ruptured so I had to put her down. It was so hard saying good bye to her she went peacefully I didn't stay when they gave her the shots. I've been crying for days cause I miss her so I figured to make it easier I would get another puppy. I got a 7wk old Siberian Husky she comes in 2days from Denver. I'm naming her Nevaeh which you know is heaven. I have so much love to give her, it won't be the same as Shasta who I will never forget and I know I will be with her and you again. I hope she is with you now, give her a kiss and tell her I love and miss her just like I do you. Til were altogether again you are always in my heart. Brandy is doing really good, Sam well he is getting older. Love you Mom and Shasta

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
  I hope your having a great birthday grandma... I miss you everyday... The pain doesn't hurt so bad any more... I know you don't like tattoos but me and mommy got one dedicated to you ❣️... It helps me feel better, when I start to miss you I look at it and I know your with me...
  I'm passing school with a 2.9 GPA to be a medical administrative assistant... I love it and I feel that it's so much easier this time around... I graduate in February ... I'm so excited ... I hope u will be watching to see me graduate ☺️...
  I work full time as an assistant manager at family dollar... It's ok there... I like it for the most part... I want to be a store manager but I do finish school in February so I don't know ...
  There's so much happening that your not here in person to see... I'm dating this guy named Alex and he is so good to me... He pushes me and give me motivation to strive for better... We learn from each other every day and all the time ☺️... We are working together for better things in life ... We are trying to have a baby also... I wish you were here for all of this ...
   I know that your watching from above but that's not the same as you being here... I love you grandma always and forever... I miss you ❣️ more then anything... I never know that I could miss someone this much... Please watch over all us... R.I.P Grandma

Happy Birthday Mom, I hope your enjoying your big day. I love you and miss you so much, your always in my thoughts and prayers. I would give anything to have you back. Til we meet again I will never forget you so please do t forget me. I LOVE YOU MOM

Hi Mom, sorry I haven't visited in awhile but you know I talk to you every nite. Alot has been going on, I had a total knee replacement done and I think the left knee will be next. Kim isn't doing good she has alot of medical issues, copd sleep apnea not to mention her leg from the crash. She's having surgery on the 20th of May, they are taking the plate out and it has to heal for 6 months than she gets a total knee replacement, what's up with her and I having the same surgerys, lol. Sam is doing pretty good for his age, hard to believe he's 94yrs old. He misses you alot and so do I and Joanna really misses her grandma. We all think of you everyday. Brian is ok but his health isn't good either. He finally put me on the house which I guess is good. I'm waiting for the day we meet again, I have no life and am very lonely since you left, I talk to Sam but it just isn't the same as you. I love you Mom so much and miss you more.

Mom, it's been 3yrs and still seems like yesterday. I still miss you every day, not a day goes by I don't think of you. Sam and I went to the cemetery today and put pink carnations for you, hope you like them. Sam misses you so much and wants to be with you but I don't want him to leave just like you but I knew you were ready to go. I think that's what you were trying to tell me that night I spent with you but I didn't wanna hear it. I know your happy now no more pain and you have grandpa and uncle Roy with you. I love you so much mom and can't wait til were together again..i will miss you every day til than, I carry you everyday in my heart and think about you everyday. Til were reunited I Love and Miss You

Love Karen

Happy Birthday Mom, I hope your having a wonderful Birthday with all our relatives. Sam and I are going to the cemetery today so look for us. I Love and Miss you do much still and always will. Till we meet again I Love You
Karen

Hi Grandma it's me... I miss u so much ... I so wish you were here... I hate it I want you to come back everyday... It has left a hole in my heart and a small cloud... I wish you could see how much weight I've lost... I'm so tiny now... I have lost 140 pounds and I'm in a size 12 pants you would be so happy... We lost Aunt Becky on the 8th to cancer... I wasn't able to go and hold her hand and say goodbye like I did with you and it hurts me so much because I wish I could have been able to go... I wish I could of told her how much I loved her like I did with you... I miss her so much already like I do you... I hate that I'm losing my family like this... I don't want all these holes in my heart and I want this hurt to go away... I don't want to lose anybody else but I know it's apart of life... It sucks... I wish you guys taught me how to live without you here... I just hope you and Aunt Becky are watching over me and know how much I love you both... You will forever be in my heart I love you always ...Fly high my angel's

Hi Mom
Well it's almost 2 years now that you have been gone. I have had a really hard time believing you aren't here with us. I never got to say goodby. I know I haven't wrote on here to you and I'm having a real hard time doing it now. I have so many regrets so many things I wish I could change. I should have called you more went and saw you more. I think of you on Mothers Day and your Birthday the holidays. Karen came to see me this Christmas and we decided to make your butter tarts they came out pretty darn good you would have been proud of us the kids loved them. We thought of you well we where making all 9 dozen yeah that was a lot and our backs felt it but everyone got 2 dozen. We all miss you very much your in our daliy thoughts. Till we are together again. Love you Mom I miss you more then anyone really knows you know me I hold a lot in never showing my feelings.

Hi Mom, well it's been 2yrs since you went in the hospital, everyday I think today I was visiting Mom, I'm still having trouble with your passing, I think about that day every night it just won't go away. I am however doing better, I'm not crying everyday and I still go to the cemetery. The 16th is not gonna be a good day since it will be the 2yr anniversary when you left. I know your ok cause you came to see me and you looked beautiful and happy. I'm still calling Sam and spending time with him. You'll be glad to know I'm not moving to Tennessee, I can't take a chance on it not working plus Brian needs me and Joanna. You should be so proud of Joanna, she is really skinny now and looks beautiful. I don't see her as much as ide like to. I spent Xmas with Kim and Robby it was fun. Brian is ok he had 2 stents put in but is doing good. Well I've caught you up for now. I miss you always and love you so much, not a day goes by I don't think of you, you were the best Mom. Til were together for eternity I will love and miss you everyday. Xoxoxoxo

Hi Grandma it's Joanna... I miss you so much... It's so hard... I wish you where to help me and mom... Our hearts break everyday for you... Wishing and hoping you come home even though we know you can not... I hope your dancing with the angles and watching over all of us... Please protect mom tomorrow during her surgery... Please don't take her with you I still need her here with me and papa and unlce Brian... I miss you and love you so much... Xoxoxo

Hey grandma its me Joanna... Hope you haven't forgot about me I haven't forgot about you I never will... It has been a year now that you have been gone and it has been so hard... I miss you so much...There has been so much change and I wish you were here to see it.. I'm finally getting skinny... I've lost 128 pounds now and I feel so much better... I just want you to come back... Mommy and me miss you so much... She is so lost with you not here and I don't know how to fix it or help her... You would know what to do... Thanksgiving and Christmas was so hard without you here its not the same...It will never be the same... You are truly missed and loved... I will love you always and forever and to the moon and back...

Mom, I can't believe you have been gone for a year when it seems like just yesterday. I miss you so much and have been lost since you left us. You are always in my heart and at times I feel you with me. I know all you ever wanted for me was to be happy, well I have a plan that will make me happy and it is to move to Tennessee with Alayne but not until Sam is with you. I promised I would look after him and that is what I'm doing. Since you left I've had no one to talk to like I did you so now I go over and talk to Sam about what's bothering me. I love you so so much Mom and I miss you even more. Until we are reunited I will always love and miss you. Xoxoxoxo

Hi Mom, well Christmas has come and gone and we missed you so much, I hope you and Uncle Roy celebrated his Bday. Now to get me threw New Year's and to your 1yr anniversary when you went home with Jesus, they say it gets easier after the first yr but I don't see that happening since I miss you so so much. 2017 really sucked for me Sam and Joanna. I will think of you every day and talk to the special star in the sky every night. I really think I need help I'm having a hard time moving forward and I'm so scared of the day Sam joins you because than I'm on my own with no parents but you 2 will be reunited for eternity than when I come you two better be there to lead me to heaven. I love you and miss you so so much. Until we are reunited I will think of you forever. I love you Mom
Love Karen

Hi Mom, I'm sure you know this but I'm with Alayne in Calif and am finally relaxed and enjoying time with her. It's just like the old days when we were always together. I spent my bday with her except we celebrated 2days after since you passed on the 16th. I've been here for almost 2wks and will probably go home next WK. She bought me a baby ringneck bird and it's being delivered in a few wks. I'm gonna be really sad leaving her because she is moving to Tennessee in December and when Sam passes I probably will move there with her. Joanna is doing good and so is Sam except for them missing you so much. I guess that's it for now, I still really miss you Mom and my heart will never be the same I miss you so much and love you til the day I pass and we're together again. Until we're reunited I love and miss you so so much

Mom, I'm still having a very hard time dealing with your passing, we had such a good relationship we were like best friends, you loved us kids unconditionally no matter how we screwed up you were still there, I miss you so so much and I keep reliving the day you passed when my cheek was against yours and I told you that Uncle Roy was waiting for you and I would take care of Sam til he joins you than I heard the death rattle and you were gone, it broke my heart and it will never mend, Joanna is doing great she had lost a lot of weight and I know you would be proud of her but I'm sure your looking down on her. She turned out to be a great daughter and young woman I'm so proud of her. Sam and I hang out alot but I'm going to see Alayne on my birthday and taking Shasta with me so I don't have to hurry home than I'm stopping at Kim's for awhile, she trys to help me get threw the loss of you and she means well but nothing can help me, I feel lost without you, ide give anything to hear your voice one more time. Well it's 4:30am I should get some sleep, I love you and miss you Mom, until we're together again you will always be in my heart and thoughts xoxoxo

Mom, this isn't getting easier I miss you so much, I feel you with me at times and you are always in my thoughts. I know we will see each other again but in the meantime my heart is still broken. I love you and miss you so much. You would be proud of Joanna she is losing so much weight but I'm sure your looking down at her, I love you Mom until we're together again I miss you every day. Dont worry about Sam I see him every week and spend time together.

Hey grandma... I just wanted to let you know I had my gastric sleeve surgery done and I have lost 45lbs already... Im so proud of myself im losing weight... Im gonna be healthy and happy... I see such a big difference in my confidence and attitude... Im so happy and I hope your proud of me... I hope you love the new me... I love you and miss you so much it hurts so bad... I wish you were here to see the change... But I know your watching... I love you to the moon and back and to infinity and beyond!!!!

Mom, I can't believe it's been almost 6 months since you left us. I miss you so so much h everyday. I wanna pickup the phone and call you to tell you what's going on but I can't because you aren't here. I know your happy now and no more pain which I'm glad but I can't help wanting you here. I remember a conversation we had about death and I told you I don't know what ide do without you, well I'm finding out I'm lost without you and am having a real hard time without you.. I love you so much Mom and I never wanna go threw this again but I know I will have to with Sam. I'm taking care of him like I said I would, I call him and we go to the cemetery every Sunday than we go to lunch, Sam is also missing you so so much. You can see in his eyes how sad he is, we usually talk about you and cry together. Until we're together again I Love You so much and miss you more than I can say. Be happy Mom you deserve it. xoxoxo

Hi Mom HAPPY BIRTHDAY ide do anything to have you back. I know your happy now and no more pain but I still can't help wanting you here. I talked to Di today and I can't believe I was a couple hours from her when Kim and I went to Florida. I talk to Alayne everyday and as soon as her mom goes to live with her son I'm going to Moorpark to see her. Can you believe the 2 of my best friends found me and we reconnected, I believe the timeing was perfect cause they came into my life again right after you passed so I'm so happy they are back in my life. Well Joanna Sam and I are gonna celebrate your birthday. Happy Birthday mom. I love you and miss you so so much, Tell everyone hi from me and I hope your celebrating your birthday. until we're together for eternity I Love and miss you so so much..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA!!! I miss you so so very much... I hurts just like it did the day you left... You will forever be in my heart... I love you to the moon and back!!!

Mom
I miss you so much.. I wish I would have called you more spent more time with you. It's.hard to believe that you have left us on Mothers Day I wanted to call you but realized I couldnt any more. I know in my heart you are ok now because you are with your Dad and brother who you missed so much snd your psin is gone now. I want you to know Im trying to help Karen through this she is teally habing a hatd time. I love you with all my heart till we are together again. I love you

Hi Mom, well another Sunday Sam and I went to the cemetery, it doesn't get any easier cause we miss you so so much, I wish I could turn time back but I can't, I'm taking care of Sam for you until the day he joins you. Brandy is doing good. She comes over every Sunday and plays with Shasta. Just a little note to let you know I miss you but I'm sure you know. Til were together again, I love you Mom xoxo

Mom I miss you so much it hurts, the day you left was the worst day in my life but i know you will be waiting for me when I leave. You were the best mother I could of asked for. Til were together again I Love You.

We may have lived many miles apart, but you were still a part of my life. I always looked forward to your trips to Canada and my one trip south when you and Uncle Sam showed us the town. Sorry we couldn't spend more time together, but the times we did will always be remembered. Hope your getting a chance to catch up with my Dad, I know he's happy your together again.
RIP Aunt Lois, you will never be forgotten ❤️

I love you Grandma! Its so hard knowing i cant call you and hear about different recipes, what to do when the kids are sick, or just to see whats going on. You are missed so much by so many people.

Grandma I love you and miss you so much... You were a very amazing grandma I couldn't even ask for better...its been so hard for me to accept that your not here anymore...it hurts so much and I just want you to come back...I can't do it with out you...I love you forever...