Where do I begin?
When I was asked to speak today, so many stories came into my head. Mark and I did so many amazing things together. And a lot of really stupid things, too.
I could tell any number of them, but many of them would just shed light on what Mark means to me. I wanted to share something that would exemplify what Mark means to all of us.
So I tried to think about all the people who would call Mark their best friend—the list is very long. At least half-a-dozen right here today. And I know there’s more. In fact, Mark is best friend to more people than any other person I know. So, I picked a story that might explain how that can be. Here it is.
I used to think that my greatest failure as a math tutor was that I could never get Mark to really believe in calculus. I mean its about infinity—pretty hard to wrap your head around.
It might sound odd, but Mark and I are both pretty nerdy, and we talk about a calculus pretty regularly. It eventually became kind of a ritual for him. “Tell me about The Calculus, again,” he would say. Like he was requesting a bed-time story.
So, I would tell him: “Once upon a time, there was a guy named Isaac Newton. And more than anything in the world, he really wanted to analyze planetary motion. He searched high and low for the scientific tools, but the math of his day just couldn’t help him. So he invented his own, and he called it The Calculus.” (They eventually dropped the “The”, kind of like Facebook, but that doesn’t really matter) But anyway, Mark would always stop me when I got the part about letting numbers go off to infinity. He refused to believe in that part. I tried so many different ways to explain, but he wouldn’t take it. It was so friggin’ frustrating.
But then I figured out what he was really doing. I honestly think he really believed all along, but Mark knew something about me—he knew it made me feel special to teach. And so he asked—so I would feel special.
Mark was right—teaching is my favorite thing to do. I’m really good at it; I consider it my most valuable skill; it’s something I’m very proud of. Mark has an innate ability to know that about people. He can quickly figure out what you’re best at and steer the focus to that very thing. He has a knack for making you feel special. Because of that, it’s almost inevitable that if you spent enough time with Mark, he would become your best friend. I know it’s happened to many of you in this room. Some very quickly—some over time. It happened to me about 10 years after I met him.
So, Mark and his family moved in across the street from us when I was about 10. He and his two brothers were about the same age as me and my two. David and Mark were only a week apart in age, and they became best friends almost immediately. I was close friends with Scott, and honestly I really didn’t know Mark all that well through most of high school, but that changed during and after college. We started spending more time together. And as has happened to many of you, he naturally became my best friend.
I’d bet many of you are now remembering when Mark became your best friend. I know I’m not the only one—and that’s ok. The best part about it all is that there’s no need for any of us to be jealous, because Mark’s heart was so big he had enough love to be a best friend to so many. It’s almost as though he had an infinite capacity for love—ironic considering what he thought about infinity in calculus.
But, being your best friend was Mark’s favorite thing to do. And he was great at it—it’s hard to find a more dedicated best friend. Those of you who have experienced it should count yourself lucky. I know I do. Thinking about that, I am most sorry for the two little ones who will never have the chance to know what it means to have their dad as their best friend.
As we gather today to say goodbye to my best friend, your best friend, our best friend—a guy that was like a brother to so many in this room and beyond—I cannot find the words to express how much will be missing from my life now that he’s no longer in it. Several times each day, a memory flows into my head of something we did together that we’ll never do again. And it kills me. I don’t know when that’s gonna stop—maybe never.
But one thing is certain, there will never be another person like Mark in my life.
