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Lessons from my Grandmother

January 14, 2013

I have taken away many of life's lessons from my grandparents.  I wonder if they even know what influences they are on their grandchildren.  From my Grandma Fetter I learned to take a book wherever I go.  Now, my grandmother and I read very different books!  Funny how this should be the other way around, but my grandma read "romance novels" and I was the one reading the classics!  She carried a small book with her everywhere she went and pulled it out in line at the grocery store or at the doctor's office, and I do the same.  Uncle Bill recently shared with me that she used to read at the breakfast table which drove my grandfather nuts.

I learned to cook because of my Grandma Fetter, if not directly from her.  My mom (Mary's former daughter-in-law) credits my grandma for teaching her to cook.  I didn't get to see my grandma often due to distance, but when we used to visit for Thanksgiving, I remember always having lasagna the night we arrived with an Italian salad made with homemade dressing.  For Thanksgiving we always had her awful fruit salad because it was Uncle Bill's favorite (except it wasn't).  And Grandma always made sure to tell Bill dinner was at 2:00 in hopes he'd be there by 4:00 instead of 6:00.

But I remember best about her house the following things:  I remember her animals, all of whom came first from her children, I believe.  I remember Molson the enormous black-lab and I remember Ben, who liked to sit on my feet and keep them warm.  I remember that Grandma made a tape of the two dogs howling along as Grandma played Christmas music on her piano.  Her house was filled with treasures!  She had antiques displayed, and always had colored glass in her windows.  But it was her basement that drew me.  I spent lots of time down there digging through old clothes, games, knick-knacks, and hundreds of odd and worldly souvenirs from her traveling adventures.  She had marionettes, sombreros, silk slippers and robes, an old mini slot machine, building blocks, Avon figurines, a round deck of cards and stacks of books.  

I remember little things like her showing me her hammer toes or the way she would fall asleep in her chair, head nodding, mouth open.  I can describe her house in great detail, the first and second, and I can tell you the toys she kept there for us to play with.  I remember taking small walks in both houses, sometimes alone, sometimes with Pat or Bill. And Bill, Pat and Jeff would take off on morning runs.   I remember that to take a picture she would stop and make a big production about "putting on her face" first, and really working up a smile.  I always thought she was silly because her natural smile was just as beautiful as the one she worked to put on.  I remember sleeping in the den at the old house and being terrified because she reminded me every single time about the time she was robbed in that very room!!  Between that and the grandfather clock, there was no sleep for me!  I remember Uncle Bill sleeping under the dining room table. I remember her awful toilet seat covers and the way they let out a bunch of air when you sat on them and you stuck to them when you got up.  I remember that the TV was up really, really loud because she couldn't hear.  I never saw her sit in front of the TV though.  She just had it on.

I don't have very many stories of Grandma, per se.  But I have a lot of wonderful memories. 


Poem: The Candle Light

January 13, 2013

The Candlelight
By: Mary Agnes Fink
(From a collection of Poems in a book titled "The Gold Frame vol. IV" printed by Our Lady of Mercy High School in Rochester, NY in 1935)
 


It twinkles like a little star
Guiding us all aright;
The Chapel lights are dim and low
Save that glow of candle light.

It burns and gleams with untold love
Before that altar white.
Each soul is led to God's own home
Along the path of candle light. 


*Special Note:  This poem was read at her funeral.

This book was given to Mary's granddaughter, Kristen Fetter with the following note:

October 11, 1988
To Kristen, a dear grandaughter, on her 14th birthday.  It takes a teenage grandaughter to understand a little better the words and wit of her Grandmother Fetter.  Grandmother Fetter wrote these lines when she too was a teenager looking for signs of a life ahead in the mists of time.
~ Mary Agnes Fink Fetter 

Poem: A Story Strange

January 13, 2013

A Story Strange
By: Mary Agnes Fink
(From a collection of Poems in a book titled "The Gold Frame vol. IV" printed by Our Lady of Mercy High School in Rochester, NY in 1935)


Listen dear and you shall hear
A story old but true.
My mother's mother told the tale
As I am telling you.

A lass of old once lived alone
A'top of yonder tower
She watched the birds, she watched the trees,
But only from her bower.

A handsome knight rode by one day
And saw this maid so fair.
Ah! there's my bride, she shall be mine.
Refuse, she will not dare.

He drove his steed right up the stair
And snatched her from her tower.
"Oh, sir, I pray thee let me go."
But she was in his power.

He took her to his castle home
And there he made her queen.
They lived long years of happy life
And thus fulfilled their dream. 

Poetry: My Broken-Down Doll With Its Broken-Up Face

January 13, 2013

My Broken-Down Doll With Its Broken-Up Face
By: Mary Agnes Fink
(From a collection of Poems in a book titled "The Gold Frame vol. IV" printed by Our Lady of Mercy High School in Rochester, NY in 1935) 


I had a doll so very old
Its hair was almost gray
Its shoes were lost, its eyes were crossed
But I loved it anyway.

My brother decided to have a war
Between the Blue and Gray;
Betsy he used as a go-beween
And killed her every day.

At last the war was ended
And Betsy was tossed aside;
Her head was shorn, her dress was torn
And so she up and died.

We buried her with pomp and style
That so befit her state,
For Betsy was a grand old doll
Though war had been her fate. 

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