Hi Momma,
It's now March of 2024, mentally, things have been pretty rough. It's been almost 8 months since I've seen or spoken to your son. Honestly Mom, I hope I never see or speak to him again. He put me through alot of unnecessary trauma. Mentally, emotionally and physically and I don't think I can ever forgive him. He was my brother, my only family member left. We were suppose to be there for each other and I know I was there for him. He would've died if it wasn't for me. I was at the hospital everyday, I sat in that surgery waiting room for over 12 hours by myself so I could see for myself that he was ok. I took care of all his needs when he came home, I did everything I could to help him and in return he made my life with him a living hell. He beat his own sister, he wishes I was dead, he said you should have aborted me and on and on. I know you must be so disappointed in how things are here on earth, not to mention Jan doing what she did to me. She obviously wasn't who I thought she was and definitely not who you thought she was. Just another disappointment in my life but I certainly don't want to be a part of anyone's life if they don't want me there and Jan definitely didn't want me in her life anymore. She not only threw me to the curb she threw your memory to the curb as well! As far as I'm concerned she was never apart of our lives.
 I'm pretty sure you know of me finding out recently about me being molested as a child by an older friend. I apparently have also blocked that out and remember nothing about it. My PTSD is now through the roof, mind continually racing of thoughts of all my trauma, sometimes I can't sleep, I cry thinking about everything, my anxiety and depression is so much worse, I sure could use my Mother right now. I'm all alone now, no more family. I'm sure you know Berneda is back in my life, she's living here with me now, she's been through so much pain, loosing all 3 boy's, I couldn't leave her in that hell hole she was living in. Drug addicts in and out, she had secluded herself in her room after Kevin passed, she was going to die in that room. So now we have each other, we're here for each other. Well, it's 6am and I haven't been to sleep yet, Trinity is getting bad, you know she's 17 now. She'll be crossing the rainbow bridge soon, I hope you'll greet her and make her feel loved. I'm going to go visit your grave soon, gonna bring you some flowers! I love and miss you so much! I wish you would send me a sign to let me know your still with me, I need it so much! Until next time, I love you too the moon and back! ❤️

Hi Momma,
 It's now 2024 and I have to say I've never been more happy to say Good Riddance to 2023. Haven't had such a horrible year since 2017. Alot happened in 2023, some good and some bad and one devastating. As you know Berneda lost Kevin this year, which is also a terrible loss for me. He was like a son to me, I know you remember me mentioning Kevin to you often. At the time of his passing, he and I weren't on the best of terms. I had no idea how sick he really was and I wasted to much time to make things right with him, I thought I had time but my time ran out and now I have to live with the fact that he passed without me being able to tell him I love him and I'm sorry for all the bullshit. I am heartbroken that I'll never be able to fix it.
 And of course you know about what your son put me through. I'll never understand why he turned on me so drastically, telling me he wished I was dead and that you should have aborted me and I'm the one that put you in your grave and much much more, not to mention the physical beating he put on me, all because of air conditioning. I know you probably don't agree with how I feel about him, I can hear you saying to me "he should have never put his hands on you but remember he is your brother, he's family" Well, Mom, family or not, what he did to me was pure hate, he's proud of what he did, says I deserved it, he feels like a bad ass cause he beat up a woman, his own sister. Men who beat on women, are nothing but low life cowards and Men who beat up their own sister is the lowest you can go. He's a bottom feeder, piece of shit, sorry excuse for a human and as far as I'm concerned he is dead! 100% dead to me! Unfortunately, he's still family by name, that's it and I wish we didn't have the same last name. He is so cold, he has no feelings, he only cares about himself, he's a bully, a narcissist and miserable inside his cold soul. He doesn't know how to love anyone but himself. Karma will give him what he deserves one day!
 And of course last but not least, the end of my and Jan's friendship. She somehow has herself believing this is my decision. Like I told you before, our friendship used to be good, we hung out, went out to eat, we would go together to visit you on special days, we used to go to like arts and crafts things, pumpkin festival etc.... and I would go down to the house, we would hang out for awhile, talk, laugh and reminisce about you and all the fun we had in the past. Then gradually everything stopped. She did explain the reason we didn't go out to eat anymore was because of the financial help she provided for me the last 6 years. I will always appreciate and remember all of her help. So after everything basically stopped I asked her to find a little time for us to get together and hang out, catch up etc...., I even said, even if it's just an hour. I asked a couple of times but she didn't have time for me anymore. See, Jan decided to spend her time with them and also reconnected with her ex Wendy, so now she's back in the picture, she's spending time with her so she pretty much pushed me out of her life so she could, her words exactly, she had to "Nurture" her friendships (just not ours) and basically didn't want any friendship with me anymore. Apparently I'm negative, have no clue when I was negative, and she wants to surround herself with, positive and upbeat people. She told me even before you passed that we would always be family, I was always welcome in her house, she would always be there, as I would for her because that's what family is, but all that was lies. She wants no part of your family anymore. She says you were her world, she loved you more than anything bla bla bla and now she has abandoned me, the daughter of the person she supposedly loves, and our friendship to "Nurture, Sandy, Rich and Wendy" and whoever else there may be. As of a year or more our so called friendship/family consisted of a message, mostly her schedule with a brief message every now and then. After what Perry did, she was no support, none! I guess she was busy "Nurturing" so, after careful consideration I really had no choice but to accept that she doesn't want me in her life, I messaged her, told her how I felt and that I accept that she doesn't want to spend any time with me and I would just move on with my life and she can continue to "Nurture" her important friendships and she wouldn't have to deal with me anymore. There is no care or love there anymore. I'm sorry I told her that your feelings changed after she stabbed your daughter in the back when we worked together at Lid's but she keeps throwing up in my face that I didn't know how yours and her relationship was....... She should know by now how close Mother and Daughter were and Mom and daughter talked alot, about different things, including her, so in all reality, I do know how and what the relationship was. I don't want or need someone like her in my life. I shouldn't have to basically beg for an hour of her time, I shouldn't have to wonder why she barely talks to me, I shouldn't have to do any of that if we were truly friends/family. She's chosen those 3 to be her Friends/ family, but not your daughter anymore. You taught me not to stay in someone's life if they show you they don't want you there and loosing people in your life isn't the end. Just move on with my life and not dwell on wondering why, wondering what I did to deserve it. It doesn't matter, that chapter of my life is over and so are most of the people that were in it. I'm ok accepting her decision, there hasn't been much of a friendship between us for awhile now. Lol, nothing changes. So what do you think about Berneda and I have reconnected and are living together, everything is going great, we get along just like we did before. I know your happy about it, me too. Well, I'm gonna go for now but I'll be back soon.
I love and miss you so so much Mom. Until next time!

Love,
Your Daughter

Hey Momma, I have to say, other than the year you left I couldn't be happier to say Good Riddance to 2023 and the people who showed their true colors, family included. I always thought family would be family, no matter what, at least that was my perspective on true family. This year showed me just how wrong I was. I had no family there for me when I was in need, my real family was, and they aren't even blood. I perfectly understand now that family isn't always blood, your own blood will stab you in the back faster than any enemy will. Since you already know everything that has happened this year, hopefully 2024 will be a much better year. Well Momma, I'm going to close now but before I do, Happy New Year in Heaven and tell Grandma Happy New Year and Happy Birthday! I love and miss you both so much! Until next time! ❤️

Yes Momma, our so called relationship/family has ended. As I told you before, you know I tried to keep the relationship but she choose not to. I won't forget the promises she made to me when you passed on. "You will always be family, I'll always be here for you." Those promises were broken, if I was family, you don't treat family that way, but then again I never thought my brother would do what he did to me either, but I guess family doesn't matter, in this family. Our relationship/family interactions have came to a brief message on messenger. That's it! I've begged her for just an hour of her time but she doesn't have time for me, supposed family! I also have no doubts you understand why I feel the way I do, you would feel the same and you would also voice how you felt, just as I did. I appreciate everything she has done for me throughout the last 6 years, it's really to bad things had to end in a bad way, or end at all but I was at a loss as what to do. I can only ask and beg for her time, if she doesn't want to give it to me I certainly can't make her. Since she didn't want me in her life I had no choice but to accept it and walk away. I'm sure she's relieved, she doesn't have to ever deal with me again. She can say what she likes, I remember the talks you and I have had throughout the year's. There isn't anything left of you in her house. Well maybe a few pictures and a couple of your paintings and your cabinet in the kitchen, that she bought from me. The last couple times I've been to her house, your not there anymore. I don't feel like you were ever even there. I guess it's time for her to move on with her new journey in life, her friendships that she's been nurturing while weeding me out. Well you know. I hope this will be the last conversation about this/her on your tribute page. Since this is no longer her memorial to, she really doesn't have any reason to post anything here. She can make her own, just as I my own. You know this was not my choice, I 100% tried. If someone wants to make time for you in there life, they will make the time. I know you also know about her recconnection with an ex, that could possibly be part of this "new journey" The home you loved so much and made it the home it was.... It's certainly not your home anymore. Doesn't really look like you ever existed there. So, I have no more to say on this matter because it's over with, no sense on focusing on the past. I am, although, glad you're not here to have to deal with all this. I feel you here with me and I know you'll always be with me. I will always say "I am my Mother's Daughter" I love and miss you more than anything! ❤️

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Hi Momma,
 I need to talk and of course I have no one to talk to but I know your listening. As you know, your son and I are extremely estranged after the abuse he put me through and the physical beating he put me through, so it's been very difficult, still is. It's like it was yesterday, like you leaving was like yesterday. I know you can see what I can't but I also know you see what I do and have done. I know she will read this but I don't care. I can imagine how disappointed you are after today's message exchange. Don't get me wrong momma, I greatly appreciate everything, all the help she has provided me through the years and I'm ok knowing she can't financially help much anymore but that wasn't the point. She doesn't want me in her life anymore after telling me we would always be family, she would always be there for me, I was always welcome in her home etc... for quite awhile now she doesn't call, never comes by, when I begged her several times for a hour of her time, just to spend a little time with her, she refuses to have anything to do with me. Our so called relationship is only a messenger message, usually very brief and that's it. She told me not long ago that her friendships with her other friends, including her ex was very important and she had to "nurture" those friendships, I asked what about me? I wasn't important enough anymore. You know they say if someone really wants you in there life they will make the time. Her time is her other friends, doesn't have time for "so called family" and the kicker is she is blaming me for accepting that I have no place in her life anymore, after I've begged, I've invited her on every holiday to come up just for an hour, she can't even give me a hour. I invited her this year, as usual she said she would let me know, I heard nothing from her. I understand her sister still isn't doing well and I hate to hear that. I lost my brother! He might as well be dead, we are as estranged as anyone can be and honestly after everything I did for him and all the abuse, including physical, that he put me through, he will always be dead to me. I can hear you now "Now Robin, I raised you better than that, he's your brother." That's for another time. Back to who I was speaking of. She's throwing in my face that I ask for a little help financially not long ago ($20) after I said I wouldn't ask her for help again. But I made that mistake, it's on me and I own it but I haven't since nor will I ever ask her for anything ever again. Last time I was there, wasn't much of you there anymore, in my opinion, not just me but you are being weeded out as well. She has said she cares and will always love me, why can't she show it every now and then? All I ask was for one hour of her time and she won't give it to me. I'm sure you would feel the same. I've not seen or spoke with her in I couldn't tell you how long but we're suppose to be family and she cares and loves me, no, that's not care or love to me. She also thinks I'm jealous that she has her sister and brother in law. I had to giggle a little, that couldn't be farther from the truth and I've told her before that I am glad she still has them, but I'm sure that didn't matter much. As far as what there is left at her house, I think there were things that maybe have been misplaced or accidentally gotten rid of. I know you had a lot of nick nacks, probably some sheets, towels etc.. your vanity is still there, I've been trying to sell it but nobody wants it. She said in January she will get everything that belongs to you ready for me to pick up. She knows I have no where to put anything, maybe some small things but the mirror and the vanity, I told her to do what she wants with it all, vanity, mirror, Christmas and anything else there. I have to just wash my hands of it all, I've got enough to deal with right now, I don't have the energy to go back and forth with her. So you know for sure, I've accepted the fact that she doesn't want me in her life anymore, again by her choice and actions. I also asked her, no, I told her not to ever mention your name. I not only feel that she lied to me 6 year's ago, she also lied to you. We use to come to the cemetery to see you together, I've even asked her to go with me to visit you and she won't do that anymore. I had a feeling once the new/old friends came back in the picture I would be weeded out and slowly but surely I was and now I'm completely out. Since we have no relationship and haven't had for sometime, why be friends on FB. I've asked her not to message me anymore, there's no reason to, we're not family or friends. She doesn't seem to be a bit hurt over any of this, actually more relieved. This has hurt me deeply and now I'm really all alone, well have been for sometime. Well, needless to say this was another horrible Christmas! Everything has went down hill ever since you left. Oh, and when she does read this, and she will, I also ask that she cancel the annual plan on your memorial and remove her name off of it. I have to close for now momma, it's been a bad day and I just want to relax and get myself together. I know I always have you, you won't ever turn your back on me, you have that unconditional love that I am so thankful for! I know you'll always be by my side, no matter what, that's true family! I've dealt with enough loss to last me a lifetime, I'll also get through this. I don't want to be in someone's life that really doesn't want me there, I get the message! I do have one good thing on my side "I am my Mother's daughter!" I love and miss you momma! Until next time! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Hi Momma,
 Here we are, another Christmas that I wish I didn't have to go through. This one is just as painful as the Christmas was the year you left. When you have no family at all to spend the holidays with it's just another day. No cards, no gifts, no nothing, pretty depressing but then again, that's my every day life. Nobody to talk to, yea Berneda is here but she's changed so much since loosing all 3 boy's. She stays to herself most of the time, in her room, so I'm basically still alone. It's very painful when you don't have the people you used to be able to count on, go to, spend time with etc... I know you see what's really going on, never thought things would be this way between us, I've tried, it's pretty much non-existent now. If you were here I know all of this would disappoint you. Struggling every day, last time I struggled this much was when I wasn't working, helping with your care. I had no income so I guess that was my worst struggle! I hope your watching over your son, he really needs help. He refuses to seek the real help he needs. That's another loss of a family member. He might as well be dead because after what he put me through, he's dead to me! I miss little Abby, although I didn't get to see her much. I know you both are happy together again. I know your Christmas will be wonderful, celebrating with all our family that has passed on and of course the best part, you get to spend it with our Lord and Savior! Well, I'm going to go for now, I just wanted to say how much I love and miss you, and Merry Christmas in Heaven ❤️⛄

Your Daughter

Hi Momma,
 So I guess you know I'm all alone now. I have no one, no family, no body to turn to, to talk to. I've been abandoned by people I thought would never abandon me, especially the last few months. I don't think anyone understands that what my brother did to me has really messed me up and it seems nobody cares! All the nights I sit here and cry by myself. I've lost pretty much everything, even my only family left. I'm going to be honest Mom, I don't think I'm going to make it. I understand why people commit suicide. You hit rock bottom but can't get out. There's nothing left for me anymore. I know they say God has a plan, my plan doesn't look very promising! I honestly would rather not be here! Your son is doing great though, got his back pay and is living it up at the beach while I struggle just to eat, let alone pay the rent and utilities, household items, gas, phone, car insurance etc.... I'm sure I'll get evicted soon, might have to put my stuff in storage and live in my car for awhile until I can find something I can afford. Still waiting on my HUD, that would be my life safer but your put on a waiting list, it could be months, don't figure the landlord can wait months. Your son has no remorse for what he did to his own sister! He hates me and I've done nothing to deserve hate and everything else he put me through. I tried to be there for him as much as I could, I did everything for him when he got sick but he said he played me like a fiddle. In other words he was just using me for his own reasons. I took care of him because I loved him and didn't want him to die. I wish I had someone care about me like that. I honestly pray not to wake up every morning, nobody would even care, would probably thrill my brother to know I was dead since he told me he wished I was dead. He also said you should've aborted me, maybe you should have. I thought me and him were suppose to look after one another, he really looked out for me. I gotta go now Momma, I love and miss you more than anything. If you were still here I would have somebody that cares! Hopefully I'll see you soon!

Here we are again, another year has gone by, 6 years you've been gone. I've needed you so many times, especially now! He has caused so much trauma in my life, I have to walk away. I can't continue to let him treat me like shit. I'm tired of being screamed at, cussed at and calling me names. That's not love, it's hate and I have no idea what I've done for him to mistreat me the way he has. I'll probably never know but I'm ok with that. After everything I did for him when he got sick, nobody would or will take care of him like I did. When something else happens, and it will because he doesn't listen to his doctors, who's going to take care of him then? Nobody! He doesn't have any family left. I hope he regrets treating his sister and only family the way he has for year's, but then again, he isn't capable of love, care, feeling or anything for that matter! He needs some serious help. He is so miserable within himself, he's a narcissist, controlling and a bully! You should have named him Donnie Jr, that's exactly who he reminds me of! I bet your having a party today, not so much here but I know you are happy and healthy and I hate to say I'm glad your not here to see all this. I love and miss you more than anything. Please keep watching over me and if you could, reach down here and smack some sense into your Son. I love you Momma, I'll see you soon!❤️

In one day will be 6 years since you left. It honestly doesn't feel like 6 years. To me, it still feels like yesterday! I know you see what's going on down here with me and Perry. He's turned into someone I don't know. The brother I know would never treat his own sister the way he's been treating me. We can go for awhile and everything will be fine, then all of a sudden he becomes someone I don't know and don't want to know. He's been abusive, not physically, controlling, a bully and just a true narcissist. If you were here you would be very disappointed In him! Family means nothing to him, blood is not thicker than water! I wanted to tell you how much Jan has helped me since you left. She's been there every time I needed her. She's done so much for me. I know you're smiling down on her, and your proud of her and you owe her a big hug, for 6 years she's been doing what you asked of her. I hope she knows how much I appreciate everything she has done for me for the last 6 years. Keep smiling down on her Momma, she's been helping your daughter. If you could, bring some extra smiles my way. I have to move, I'm sorry Mom but I can't take the abuse anymore. I'm tired of being screamed at, cussed at and calling me names. He's a narcissist, controlling, bully who is verbally, emotionally and mentally abusive! My own brother hates me, for what I have no clue because for some reason he doesn't have the balls to tell me why he hasn't spoken to me for the last 5-6. He's Donald Samson, just like him. Momma if you still pray In Heaven, pray that I can find a couple guys to help move the bigger entertainment center , sectional, small one and TV's
Not to change the subject but what Perry has done to me after everything I did for him, saved his life, sat over 12 hours in the hospital waiting room while he was having his bypass. Took care of him after he came home. I now realize he wouldn't do any of that for me! When I told him he was abusive he says 'Thank you" so he knows exactly what he's doing, he's proud of what he's done, he enjoys hurting people, especially me. In public and around his friends he's happy, laughing, talks friendly, shows love and care but as soon as he gets home he turns into the angry, miserable with him self, controlling mean and hateful. Dr jeckall and Mr Hyde. He's his father's son.h. He reminds me so much of Donnie Samson minus the alcohol. After all this is over, I have no brother,he didn't care what he was doing to me, I can't live in a abusive household with my own brother committing the abuse. He needs some serious help. Inpatient help, like highland help.
Sorry all I talked about was what's going on here. Glad your not here to see this, you would've worried and worried, you certainly didn't need that! Like I said before, Jan has been very good to me, send her some blessings and let her know how proud you are of her, she deserves it. So my apartment is $625 a month plus electric and cable, if I get it. Plus car insurance and cell phone bill and a couple of credit cards that I'm on a payment plan for, household expenses, car expenses etc all out of one check. I'm praying section 8 will come through and help with the rent. My Trin Trin is doing very well, she gags all the time like something is stuck, she pants a lot, like she can't breathe, she gets anxious, moving around a lot, can't get comfortable. Things arent very good here between your children but I would be much happier by myself like I was before Perry gave me 2 day's notice in the middle of the month. Look after us Mom, especially Perry. He needs some serious help, try to get into his head and find out what the hell is wrong with him, or possibly this is who he really is and if that's the case that's a damn shame. I was going to come see you tomorrow but I have so much going on, and you're the one that said your not there, under all that dirt. Your soul wasn't there so no reason to visit the shell you use to posses. I'll be alone on and sad on Sunday, hell what am I saying, I'm alone and sad most of the time! I'm devastated and hurt to my core over what he's done to me! Can you get through to him? Can you change him back to the brother I knew and loved? After all this i am 100% sure he won't speak to me at all. Holding on to something I apparently done wrong. Instead of being an adult and talk about it like I tried to do, I got silence, I kept asking, what have I done to deserve all this silence? He did say I'll just move, I said go ahead. I've done everything I could do for him, stuff no one else would do. I'm so sorry Mom, it's not me, it's him. Miss you so much, I could always come to you. I love you more than you know. Please be with me during this move and could you bring God to, I really need him!
I'll be back soon, I love and miss you!!!!

Hi Momma, it will soon be another year you've been gone and it still feels like yesterday that you left. It will be 6 years, it sure doesn't feel like 6 years. This year on your birthday you would've been 80 years old! Around this time of year I relive every single day up until you took your last breath. I still have issues dealing with whether I made the right decisions or did I do right by you? I don't know if I'll ever come to peace with it all but it haunts me every day. I love and miss you more than anything. We had our issues back in the day but thank God he brought us back together back then, you were my world, my best friend and my rock. Now I'm alone, without my Mother/best friend my rock. My life has never been the same if anything it's a lot worse. I know you know what I mean! I used to like to watch the fireworks on July 4th but ever since you passed away I have no desire to watch any fireworks! Brings back to many sad memories! I love you and miss you so very much! Until I see you again, save me a seat!❤️

Hi Momma,
 It's been one of those nights, can't sleep, mind is racing. These nights happen to often! I just wanted to say I love you and miss you so freaking much! Although we had our differences, we always came back to each other. You were raised the old fashioned way and the trauma you suffered as a child growing up made you hard. No affection, no I love you's, no nothing. That was my childhood. You didn't know any better because of all you went through, it wasn't your fault! It's unfortunate that we, Perry and I, had to pay some of the price. Once we were out of the house and you were getting older, you started to see things differently. I'm grateful for that because you changed. You were more open to our lifestyle and you became affectionate. Not overly affectionate, enough that I could feel the love you had for me. I miss your touch, your hugs, your smell, your laugh, hell, I miss everything about you! It's still really hard to get through each day without you!
I guess I better lay down and see if I can get some sleep. I love you Momma, berry berry much!!!! Bye for now!❤❤❤❤❤❤

Hey Momma,
I can't wrap my head around it being 5 years today you left us! Every day on this earth without you has been devastating. From July 4th when you were in Hospice and we were watching the July 4th Firework Spectacular and we talked and joked, you were in good spirits, coherent and in your right mind, then 5 days later, your gone! I relive those 5 days over and over, until you took your last breath. I felt you leaving, my heart shattered! My Mom, my Best Friend, my Rock was gone! That's it, it's over, that fast! These past few year's have been pretty rough for me, health and mental health issues. Life has been so lonely. I have no friends, I stay in the house unless I have a Dr appointment or grocery shop, that's the highlight of every month of my life. I'm a prisoner of my own life. Life without parole, no freedom! You were always on the go, couldn't sit still for nothing....lol. You kept going until you couldn't go anymore! You were such a strong woman, growing up, I thought my Mom would live forever, she had to, can't live life without my Mom. Wish I was a kid again, to have you back for a little while longer. I concentrate more now on just getting through each day, thankful God gave me another day, no matter how painful they are! I sure hope your having a Angelversary party, laughing, dancing, having a wonderful time. Tell Grandma I love and miss her! I'm sure you've seen your pretty marker, I'm so happy you have it now, she did good didn't she?
I guess I'll close now, I love you Mom, with my whole heart and I miss you with my whole heart! From time to time could you let me know your still here, with me? You are forever in my heart and soul!

Your Daughter,
Mary Jr

I love and miss you so much!

It's Christmas Eve 2021, it's been 4 year's looking at the empty chair at the table, my mind is overwhelmed by all the Christmas memories from childhood to adulthood, so many good memories! Now, remembering all those wonderful memories just makes me sad because I know I know there will never be anymore memories made. I just want the holidays to be over! I think of the memories and they're all good memories, they make me happy and sad, if that makes sense! Christmas Eve and it's just Perry and I carrying on some of our Christmas Eve traditions. I miss you so much Momma! When is it suppose to get easier? It's been 4 year's, I still feel the same pain I felt when you took your last breath. Writing this right now is bringing tears to my eyes. I'm going to have to close for now, I can't see through the tears.
I love and miss you so very much!
Merry Christmas in Heaven Mom!❤

Hi Momma, today wasn't a good day, I went through some pictures, some from your last few days here on earth and the pain of seeing these pictures is still so raw! It's been 4 years, when is it suppose to get easier? So now it's the start of the holidays, just depression. The holidays remind me of you and how much you loved to decorate, I remember it was like walking into a Christmas card, all the beautiful decorations and the beautiful Christmas tree, the smell of Christmas and the delicious cakes,cookies and holiday meals. The memories from childhood to adulthood warms my heart and at the same time makes me sad. I'll never have that again. I dread the holidays, just so lonely now! I love and miss you so so so much! Every single day you are on my mind. You are forever in my heart and soul! Until next time! I love you!❤

Happy Birthday in Heaven Mom!
I have so much I want to tell you but it would take forever to type. I hope you are watching over us, I need to know your still with me. I can only imagine the celebration going on today, you are finally with your Mom now! I love and miss you so very much!

Happy Birthday in Heaven!

Another year has passed without you, they say it gets easier with time, I'm still waiting for it to get easier! There's so much I'd like to say, sometimes the only person who you can turn to that will still love you no matter what is Mom! That unconditional love, I miss that so much! It's been a very emotional and painful day. Keep watching over us Momma, you are now my angel in Heaven. I love and miss you more than anything in this world but you already know that! I'll see you again soon Momma!
Happy 4th year Angelversary!
❤❤❤‍♀️‍♀️

It's July 4th 2021 and at this moment 4 years ago today, you and I were watching the Macy's Firework Spectacular sitting beside your bed at the Hospice in South Charleston! You were alert and talking, we were talking about the Singer's that were performing and how tired of fighting you were. You were ready to go but I wasn't. The next day you left Hospice and came home to die. 4 days later you were gone!
I've never felt that much hurt and grief in my entire life. The depths of my heartbreak went deeper than just my heart, my soul was in despair! My heart is still broken and will always be, life is never the same when we lose our Mother's! You were my mother, my father, my teacher, my world and my best friend. I was so lost the day you left!
I still feel lost!
I use to love the 4th of July, not anymore. I haven't been able to watch the Macy's Firework Spectacular since you and I watched it July 4th 2017. It's actually coming on tonight but I can't watch it.
Happy 4th of July Momma!
God how I miss you! I love you so much! Until we meet again...❤

Well, here we are again! Another Mother's Day without you. As I was out grocery shopping the other day, people were rushing around, buying their Mother's day cards, buying beautiful flowers, getting Mom that special Mother's day gift and spending today with their Moms and grandmothers, taking them out for a very special Mother's day dinner. I remember being able to do all those things for you. Everyone is spending today with their Moms, laughing, smiling, hugging, celebrating Mom, for all Mom's do, they are super women, they gave us life, they do whatever it takes to keep us safe and to raise us with love in our hearts ,discipline in our minds and kindness in our souls. Mom's go without to make sure we don't!
I don't get to do any of those things for you anymore, ever again, instead, I will bring some flowers to lay on your unmarked grave. Other than just a few of us, nobody could find you. It hurt's to go to the cemetery because I can't provide you with the headstone you deserve. I carry that guilt, I failed as a daughter and I'll have to live with that for the rest of my life! I'm so sorry Momma, please forgive me!
I love and miss you so much, tell Grandma the same. 
Happy Mother's Day in Heaven, I love you!!!

I would give anything if I could hug you one more time, hold your hand one more time, hear your voice one more time, laugh with you one more time and tell you how much I love you one more time!

The only thing that gets me through the day's is knowing you are no longer in pain, you can breathe and you can now see again. As much as it hurts that your gone and as I would give anything to have you back, you are now made whole, you are happy and healthy. You are with your Mom and family that has passed on before you. No Sadness or hurt, no pain and no stress. Thank you for your unconditional love, thank you for all the sacrifices you made to make sure your children were happy, healthy and safe. You raised two children on your own and I know it wasn't easy. I made sure of that.....

Happy Birthday in Heaven my dear sweet Mother. I love and miss you every single minute of every single day. Until I see you again.........

I love and miss you so very much Momma! I know you were with me today, I know your with me everyday but today you were loud and clear! I needed that so bad today! You always said you wanted to be remembered for all the good times, all the laughs, all the funny stories, even our own special language that only our family can speak
I'll see you again soon Momma!

I miss you so much Momma, in a few day's you've been gone 4 months! I miss your hugs and kisses, I miss holding your hand, the touch of your skin! I watched your health declining everyday for the last 2 year's, I was helpless, nothing I could do to make you feel better, that's a horrible feeling watching you die! My heart is forever broken beyond repair, my soul is empty. My life has been at a stand still since you left, it hasn't got any easier, you were my one and only parent, I love you so very much Momma, I need your touch, your hugs and most of all your unconditional love! We will see each other again soon, save me a place Momma, until then...............