One morning I found you in eternal sleep;
I tried to wake you as I began to weep,
But all my pleas you could not hear;
Oh if I could have only kept you near,
Away from the voices of those who went before, Who beckoned you to come to that distant shore.
I find it so very hard to believe
That you have gone and I must grieve;
I call out your name -- you answer not,
And I look for you in every familiar spot.
Everything seems so strange and surreal,
I ask every day is it a dream or real?
Where are the soft brown eyes of affection?
Where is the laughter and talk of childhood reflection?
Where is the loving care when I was sick or sad?
Where is the generous soul for which I was glad?
Where is the forgiving and understanding heart?
Where are the bonds that were there from the start?
I miss all the little ways you showed you cared,
For there were so many good moments we shared;
Looking back on my life's assorted scenes,
I realized you taught me what love truly means;
You were my trusted confidante and best friend,
On whose loving support I could always depend.
I look at your smiling face in all my photos;
Memories flood my mind as I touch the mementos
From the happy times you and I have had,
But now these bring tears and make me sad;
For the time together went by in a wink,
Life was not as long as we'd like to think.
Sometimes memories bring comfort and make me smile,
But there are times when grief takes over for a while;
Friends offer gentle words and prayers to console,
And tell me what has happened to your loving soul;
Can it be true what they say of time healing grief?
Is it enough when they say death has given you relief?
Can we believe what others say of a better place,
Where our beloved ones rest in God's warm embrace?
I should be happy you're free of pain and sorrow,
And rejoice that you'll always have tomorrow.
How can I then be so heartbroken and selfishly cry,
Return to me from that peaceful place where you lie!"
Now I look down at your name on a cold hard stone
That says little of the loving light you have shone;
It tells nothing of the wonderful person you were,
And only serves to remind me of the painful loss I endure;
But I know your kind soul wants no tears or pain,
Instead you'd want warm memories and love to remain.
Although I cry and stand grief-stricken by your grave,
I promise not to forget the loving memories you gave;
But still I miss you so very much my sister dear,
And your caring words I once again long to hear;
My heart's only solace is one day I will see you as before,
Beckoning me to come join you on that white distant shore.
I love and miss you so big sis,
Carolyn and as you would say "(Cal-dona)"
Mother Mary Louise Nix-Felton: October 17, 1950 - July 22, 2015
Rest In Heaven BIG Sis. Missing you dearly!! Gone but will never be forgotten...
After our talk about the dream that I had, we talked about crossing over and I shared that I wasn't afraid that crossing over would be wonderful. I was on my way but mama said "Stop!" Help her. I hope sharing that dream helped you to transition without being afraid. When we had our little talks, you would always recite the 23rd Psalms. What a way to feel!! They assured us that you did not suffer and that relieved our troubling minds. Finding you lying there was devastating and I'm having trouble erasing that image from my head. Oh the pain is great! And I miss you more each day. I'm praying for strength and trying my best to be strong. Only if I could dial your number once again and hear your voice on the other end saying "What's up Caldona!" Last conversation we had, you were upset about what we talked about, but before we ended you were back to being your usual self. Big sister, I love you and miss you tremendously. Just had to post this to your page so you can read it up in heaven. Tell the gang I said hi. You are with them now because YOU were the one they wanted to join their beautiful garden. Farewell for now.
