Tributes
Leave a tributeThe most recent event that I try to think hard about would be my last birthday. I always miss Macon and I always miss the boys here. We got a rental which was the Harwood Cottage, so we could all have a big space to hang out, drink and sleep. It was Matt, Ricky, Clayton, Lil’Matt, Chris, Bird (for a short period) and my friend Gabby. Just a couple of rowdy beer and bourbon drinkers who were trusted with a 6 bedroom fancy, historic house. All night we carried on about how it was a bad idea and everything in that house was worth way too much for us to be allowed around it. Matt was sweet as always when he got off work and made it over. I got a Happy Birthday Hale-dog and an apology he couldn’t plan a gift. He did, however, find a charm and give that to me as a replacement which I still have.
The boys picked on each other all night and we enjoyed a rather long game of circle of death. Matt was not down to play and cared more about controlling the music since Chris and I killed it with 90s country. All night while Matt was getting bugged for not playing I kept drunk yelling at the boys to leave him alone because he’s my favorite since he is never a jerk to me like them, ahaha.
Circle of death happened until almost 4am and it was so upsetting to know that it was coming to a close and I would be headed back to Atlanta the next day. I let Matt and Ricky have the huge master bedroom and they were so upset when I woke them up at 9:45am. Matt was grouchy and hungover and Ricky just let out some weird noises of refusal. Regardless, they were both still hilarious and I couldn’t help but start a morning humor rumor that they’re the cutest couple ever in their master bedroom (I was secretly upset I did not get the master since it was my birthday, but I love them so I let it slide. They shared the masters and both had the most terrible bed head in the morning. I have proof in pictures and I love them.)
Unfortunately Matt missed out on our big Athens trip, but we made up that time by having a get together at his apartment. Clayton irritated Matt by eating all of his dinosaur chicken nuggets (or maybe it was Ricky? We’ll never know) and ClydeFrog and I were too busy trying to force Rob Zombie youtube videos on everyone to care. Matt eventually got his chair, ClydeFrog and the music he wanted which made up for the chicken nugget disaster. Just an apartment full of sassy boys, ol’clydefrog, myself, and a few too many 30 racks that none of us even got close to finishing. We all eventually ended up commandeering the bedroom because it was the only room with a heater. So if you could imagine 4 people and a cat trying to figure that out when none of us are short or small – it was pretty dysfunctional.
Matt and I were suppose to go to Rob Zombie together. We were suppose to get wild, not mild, in the lawn section and scream living dead girl until our chests hurt.. but we didn’t get to.
A week before the concert, Matt and I spoke for the last time. The last thing we ever talked about was him reminding me that I am more than welcome to stay with him and ClydeFrog whenever I wanted to and that he wished I visited Macon more to see him and the boys. I told him I would take him up on the offer and soon we would plan another trip since he missed Athens for work.
I’ve never loved a group of boys so much in my life. At this point it never really felt like “my friends” sufficed when it actually felt like brothers. I hate that I am so far away from my family in Macon and that I do not get to visit as much as I used to be able to. I wish that Matt and I went to Rob Zombie as planned and I wish we were planning our next trip with Ricky, Clayton and Chris right now. But we cant.
But here’s to knowing that Matt is (not was) one of the sweetest, most kind-hearted, fun having, teasing taking, rowdy, funny, loving, rambunctious person I have ever met. I am so glad we crossed paths because a lot of nights would have not been the same.
I love you baby boy and one day I can not wait to hug you and Kolby again. Don’t worry; I’ll still punch Ricky and Chris when they start messing with you in any lifetime.
One year at Roo, him and I were inseparable. I'm pretty sure it was my first music festival. Everyone always got separated throughout the weekend, but he stayed with me the entire time. We shared food, water, a tent, and whatever else was there for the weekend. He made me pallets next to the stage when I was ready to take a break. And held my hand through the crowds when we wanted to get lost in dance. My favorite moment was in the midst of a rave, in a large crowd, it was like it was just us and we were lost in our beautiful world. He had a way of making me feel like that. He was so caring, and when he loved you, he never let you doubt it.
I miss you Matthew.
I told him then how much I missed him... I hugged him and told him I loved him...and he smiled so big... I will always remember that smile
I will always remember his kindness.... I love you brotha... Go rest high on that mountain fat matt...
I know you're jamming with Dwayne Allman and Berry Oakley right now.
Marty-
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Our last visit
If anyone truly knows me, they know how much I love Matt. The past year of my life has been extremely difficult. I got pregnant, the father of my then unborn child was put in prison, I lost my apartment, my car, and my job. I went to Macon because my best friend was throwing my babyshower. Matt asked me to come see his new place, and so I did. That night, we watched a whole season of Trailerpark Boys without moving from the couch. He held me tight and kept his hand on my belly, giggling every time he felt a kick. He leaned down and whispered to my belly, " I'm gonna teach you how to play the guitar so you can get all the chicks." He asked me to stay the night, so I did. He held me simply because I think he knew how badly I needed it. He told me he loved me over and over and kissed me on the forehead. "You're gonna be a great mom. Don't worry Paizley." He brought such a wave of peace over me, that I didn't even get sick that night like I always did. He made me breakfast for dinner and set his stove on fire. He gave me vitamins. We spent the next day together as well. I drove us to El Sombrero and he made me turn around so he could talk to a homeless guy under the bridge. He called him by name, gave him his pack of cigarettes and the last 8$ he had in his pocket, ad ten told him to come by Ginger later and he'd feed him. We went to eat and then back to his place. We hung out for a while, but I had to leave the next day for Florida. That was the last time I saw him. But we talked everyday. Matt and I had our ups and downs, but he wanted to come to fl to help me with the baby and live with me. That was the plan. I wish it had happened. I wish I had been able to save him. He was the most beautiful creature I have ever known, and no one will ever love me as much as he did.
Manhood
When Matt and I first met, we were 15. We basically became friends instantly. We both came to the first day of school wearing holey jeans and black band t shirts. I walked into a sea of boat shoes, high heels, and khakis, only to sea this curly headed chubby kid sitting in the back. It was love at first sight. We sat together everyday and joked and took pictures and started hanging out after school. I was dating a friend of his at the time, but he never held back telling me he loved me. We acted like siblings but it was always deeper than that. One day Matt came to school boasting and bragging about these three tiny ass chin hairs. "I'm becoming a man." "You guys should be jealous." All day long he kept on and kept on about these hairs and how he was hitting adulthood before anyone else. I told him if he didn't stop talking shit that I was gonna rip those suckers out. "You won't do it." "You're just jealous." All. Day. Long. So after school, our small group of friends went to Porter to hang out. He was still going on about his chin hairs. And I had enough. I always keep my word. I chased him down the road, all the way to Willums front yard, tackled him, sat on his chest, and pulled them. I've never seen him look so defeated. With tears in his eyes, he said "you've stripped me of my manhood." And then he smiled that smile, scooped me up like he always did, and carried me back to the playground. I always remember that story because it was truly the beginning of something beautiful. We had only been friends for a few weeks and we were this comfortable with each other. He was truly one of the most forgiving, loving people I've ever known. Ten years later, there was an epic beard where those three wimpy hairs had been. He told me it was a sign of our friendship, and just like his facial hair, it was beautiful.
Owen
I took my dog Owen out one night to do his business, anyway, he took so long and I got busy playing with my phone or something and completely forgot he was out there.
Fortunately, Matt found him and kept him all night with him and brought him back to me the next morning, He saved me a lot of grief and sadness by his kind act.