Matthew's Death
Well, this is the hardest part. It was early evening I was at work. The phone at work were broke, the ringers would not work. So we could not get any incoming phone calls, I worked from 6AM to 7PM most days. This time I clocked out right at 7. I walked out to my car and drove straight home. When I pulled up to the end of the drive leading to my house, two girls came running up to me crying and screaming..."You have to get to the hospital! Matt's been shot!" I asked them "WHAT?" I could not believe what I was hearing....Then they said it again....I asked "Which Hospital?" They said, "The one in Clinton" I hit the gas and spun the tires and took off down the road. I don't know how fast I was going...I know I passed a cop, and he didn't stop me...I thought that was kind of funny, because I was in a NO PASSING zone, and in a curve, I think it was then that it hit me "THIS MUST BE SERIOUS..." The cops aren't even stopping me....I made it to the hospital in record time. When I walked in, the nurse was waiting for me. I knew in my gut it was bad...they never take you into the family room and make you wait for the Doctor unlesss it is really bad. I said "I don't care about the Doc...Just take me to my son!" She said "I can't" I still wouldn't except it...The Doctor came in, I looked at him....He had this look on his face and asked me...."Do you have any one with you?" I told him NO. Then I asked him to just tell me...He said "Your son has been shot" I said "where" He said..."IN THE HEAD!" I saw the whole world swim by in an instant....I thought, No this can't be happening...Not to me...Not to my perfect son...Not to Matthew who is always so careful...Then I asked him "What are his chances of survival?" and he said "MAYBE 10%"....I think I died right then....I didn't cry...I didn't do anything...I just leaned back against the wall, kind of sank back to the floor...and then told him to take me to my son...He told me to be prepared for what I was going to see....I won't go into that on here...NO ONE needs to know what that looks like,,,but I got to my son...I took his hand...told him how much I loved him...and how much I needed him to fight...but that if he couldn't...that was ok too...I still didn't cry...it wasn't real to me yet...then life flight arrived. They stabalized him, put him on life flight, I called my brother, he met me at the hoispital, and then he drove me to UNC to be with my son...I cried then...When I called my brother I cried...It wasn't real until I had to tell some one else...then it was real...my son was leaving...I wasn't going to see him after tonight...I found out later that the police arrived at my place of work just minutes after I left...They were looking for me...The Doctors would not let me drive from Clinton Hospital to UNC hospital after seeing my son....they knew I would not be able to make that drive without hurting myself, or some one else.....Thank you for that .....You probably saved lives that night.....My brother made it to UNC in record time though!!! My son lived for 18 hours...was then declared brain dead...and then he became an organ donor. In our time of grief...others were made VERY happy....He saved many lives that night! Heart, Kidneys, Liver, Pancres,
Adreanl Glands....Other families were glad my son passed...not in the sense that I had to lose my son, but in the sense that they got to keep their loved ones a while longer....I love my son...With a love that is an ETERNAL bond...one that not even DEATH can break...and I miss him so much...but each day that passes is one day closer to us being together again...I love you and miss you Matthew. ALWAYS. Love MOM