Hi Matt
I went to visit you at Lion Rock.  It was very beautiful, but the tree was drying after fire.  I saw the stone and remember those moment.  I could not stop crying because it was so cold.  I knew you hate cold.  It was the place that you asked me to marry.  You told me when you felt so sad and you loved to come to happy place in forest.  It still is my favor place.  I miss you and thank for share book of Mormon to me and my family.  We never forget you and your friendship to me.  You are my family forever and we love you forever.  
When I felt sad, lonely and I liked to visit our place at Lion Rock.  We never have a chage to do something for you.  You knew I loved daisy flowers in the moutain.  You loved white rose and you gave it to me.  You liked white and green.  I never forget those green carpet and green room.  We had so many cat and you loved your black cat.  
When I closed my eyes and I could see you.  You are in my heart forever and love forever.  You are my friend and my buddy.  We were good friend and cared about each other.  God love Matt and took good care his heart.  We all live in peace and moved on with our life.  Someday I was crying because I missed you. I did growth red rose for Matt and water fall.  Hope one day Matt will see beautiful red rose.  It took a long time to growth and now have beautiful red rose.   

I did take you back to my home in Thailand and this is Matt's home now.  He loved to be in Thailand and had wonderful life here.  Now he loved beautiful garden and waterfall.  He is our family forever.

Hi Matt
I knew Matt is in Heaven and now he talk to God.  I felt so bad that Matt stop talk for long time.  I don't know what Matt was thinking.  I knew God love you and care about you very much.  I could not go to church and I felt so sad when I enter to church.  I wanted you in my memories and you always be my best friend.  I knew my English is very bad, but I did try my best.  I saw you in my dream many time and you were happy.  You looked so nice and sat in my bed.  I did not see you cry in fornt of my house anymore.  I miss you and I wish I could help you.  You were my buddy and I loved your joke.   I felt so bad that Matt was unhappy with everything and hope Matt find happy in heaven.  Well Matt I wanted to send you love and see you again.  
Since Matt was not here.  Everything was empty and sad sometime.  I saw Matt for 22 year and now I did not see him anymore.  I believe God take care Matt and help him.  
I hope Matt love my new house in Thailand with beautiful garden.  I brought Matt back to Thailand and stayed in my new house.  It was beautiful place with swimming pool, club house and basket ball court.  Matt loved Thailand very much and it was good memories.  He had many friend from the LDS church and enjoy his life there.  I knew Matt love Seattle Temple and he was looking forward to be there.  His dad worked in Temple and Matt said about his dad all the time. Well Matt you had amazing family and wonderful people around you.  I hope God take care your heart and something Matt was missing in his life.  I knew many people love you.  Ali said she loved you since she was 13 year old.  It was so sweet and nice.  I never say good bye, but I wanted to say that I will see you again.  Love 
 

Matt and I became good friend.  We love each other very much and he told me for 20 year.  I could not forget those word and his smile.  He loved to told me about his jok and how his family doing.  We loved to go Lion Rock to watch the star at night and loved those mountain.  I loved those cold air touch my face and his cold hand.  Matt had very cold feet and he hated cold weather.  We though that we should ran away to warm country.  We miss Thailand and warm weather.  We were enjoy the beautiful flower and people.  
We had so much fun in Lion Rock and his brown green eyes, so beautiful when the sun touch his face.  I miss you Matt and I felf empty when I went to shopping mall.  I did not see him again.  I knew we will meet again and I have big hope.  I have many story to tell him and how his family doing.  He love all his family and his sister in law Jonnijean Jarman.  He and her loved to read steven king books. He knew all detail about the book.  Steven Jarman are very smart with the animal and he was very good.  Matt was so exciting to tell me about him and how he was working with his dad.  Matt have amazing sister (Lourie Moffat) who loved to sing in the church and her voice is so amazing.  Matt have so much love by everyone in his family.  Spencer Jarman miss Matt very much and I saw him fix his motercycle in his garage.  
Well Matt, had beautiful life and love by many people.  Thank for love me and being my friend for 20 year.  Thank again Matt.  When I see him and I would tell him many thing and I don't know how to begin.  
When I am not here in the world, so I will meet him again.  God alway with him and love him.  Matt hate cold, so he leave us before winter.  I hope Matt visit warm place.  
Now I found Matt green cloth and I didn't forget how hard he work on the cold winter day.  Life without Matt was very hard, but I have hope to see him again.  
Love  

You fill up my sences
you fill up my scences
like a night in forest
like a mountain in spring time
like a walk in the rain
like a storm in the deseart
like a sleepy blue ocean
you fill up my sences
come fill me again
come let me love you
let me give you my life
let me drown in your laughter
let me die in your arms
let me lay down beside you
let me always be with you
come let me love you
come love me again
Let me give you my love
come let me love you
come love me again. 
 I hope someday I will be next to you and lay down next to you in Utah.  I always love you forever.  

There are plenty of things I do know about Matthew Lee Jarman.

I know that Matthew loved his wonderful life and his mother.

I know that Matthew loved and cared about his larger family.

I know that Matthew wanted me to beside him at Lion Rock Mountain, Ellensburge Washington, USA where he was promised me to love me until he died.  He said to me the most happpy of his life.  I went there 10 time and waited for him.  I miss it.  Do I angery that I was not in service? I am not angery because I have his heart that why I am here in USA. Now it is broken heart. He told me every year how much he loved me almost 20 year.  

I know that Matthew had this unique ability to touch the lives of people in significant ways.  I have been knowing him and lived with him 10 year. He used his love to read to encourage people in ways that literally changed their lives.  
Matthew loved to talk joke and many people loved his joke.   

As much as anything, that is why I did not understand it has no service for him at the funeral home for friends who love him.  Matthew knew service was for living and he wanted us to love each other because he loved everyone.   Matthew had this ability to let you know that you mattered. Matthew had this ability to let you know that there was opportunity ahead in your life.  Matthew had the unwavering ability to encourage others and help them see their value. Matthew was one of those rare people with that gift of encouragement and help many people in Thailand because he loved them so much.  God loved him and wanted him to be with God now.  
I went to memories stone shop and talked to owner.  She was sad and hope we all could feel closer to him.  I do not understand why no sevice for who love him. Many poeple asked me when will be his funeral, but it had no answer.  None of his friend could not say good bye or share his memories about him.  We lived in empty and deal with our own sadness.  My family and friends was sad and cries because it had no service.  They could not see him or send love to him.  We believed Matthew wanted to be love and see him.  He must be lonely and sad.  I have been dream he was crying.  He loved us and we must love each other.  

What do Mormons believe about the afterlife?]

"It's been pointed out by other observers of the church that Mormonism probably encompasses a more detailed picture of the afterlife than is common in other faith traditions. ... I think the emphasis that Mormonism puts on the eternity of the family, the conviction that is so central to our faith and to our culture, that the family survives death, that my marriage to my wife is an eternal bond, that death will interrupt but not permanently -- I think that those aspects of our faith make the passing of loved ones and our own imminent death more tolerable, more consolable. ..."

I met him in Thailand 25 year ago.  I fell in love when I saw him in LDS church. We knew we were in love and now I still love him with all my heart.  We promised to each other to die together and love forever.  We went to moutain and promised each other to love and die here 25 year ago.  I never stop love him and miss him every day.  
Everytime I saw him and I ran to hug him.  He had my heart and I had his heart. We stayed together 6 year and we called it quite.  He did not want to get help and his personality change every 15 minute.  I was young and I did not know how deal with manic depression as he told me later.  Someone told me later after he pass away that he had this problem since childhood.  I did not know and he never get help.    
I always love him and did not want any thing from my married, but I wanted him get help.  Finally he went for help and get better.  He felt very happy.  He asked me if he could marry her, so I said "yes"   He got married again.  I was so happy for him, but I always love him.  I did not get married.  
Everytime he saw me in shopping center and he ran to see me.  He told me how much he love me every year.  He was in pain and I was in pain as well.  He told me how much he love me and he will give his life to me.  
I saw him again in his family wedding and he looked so painful.  He gave me a hugs and told me how much he love me.  
When his family contact me that he was missing on Oct. 11,2014.  He was missing since Oct, 9,2014. I knew he went to moutain and waited for me since Oct 9,2014  It was too late for me to help him.  It was the place that we were promised each other to love and die together here.  It was painful to tell family member to find him.  I knew him so well because he could not live without me but I wanted him move on with his life.  I wanted to see him happy and I always care for him. Funeral director did not allow me to see him or said good bye to him.  Matt did not leave any note to anyone before he decided to leave us.  He was very unhappy for long time and stopped talk for 6 month before he decided to leave us.   I never understand why no help or medical help for him.  Sometime I do not understand why not help him when he was not talk for 6 month and let him sit alone without talk.   I knew USA have many help hotline and why not call them.  I have many question why until today.   
I only know we love each other so much even we were not together.  He told me he love me for 20 year.  He told me last word that he love me before he died.  He did not leave any note for anyone before he died and what his wish to do with his body.  It was very painful for me.  I had such deep depression and sadness.  I had no family and he was only my family.  He and I love each other so much.  He was only talk to me and trust me.   It was hard to forget my first love.  Thank you forevermiss.com that allowed me to show my love to him and our memoried together.    He always be my husband and always be my best friend.  

 I said to myself "Do not allow negative people to turn me into one of them"  Let me deal with my pain because I lost my best friend.