Six Months
For the last few weeks, I’ve been dreading October 26 - the six month anniversary of Matt’s death. As I sit here on the eve of this milestone, I’m sad. We miss him every day and some days that pain and grief are deeper than others. The reality of his loss has settled in and while the kids and I are doing well, there are definitely good days and bad days. Our lives have changed and we miss him in all the big and little things. From figuring out big decisions about school or Woodridge to smaller things like watching the kids at a swim meet or planning Halloween costumes (much more his thing than mine), it’s hard to believe he’s not still here. I miss his sense of humor (he truly made me laugh every day), his optimism and his sense of adventure. I miss watching him with our kids and I miss having him as my partner in everything. We were so lucky to love him and have him love us - we just wish it had been for longer.
The kids and I made it through lots of firsts in these past six months - their first birthdays without him (Luke turned 10 in June and Abbie turned 13 in August), our wedding anniversary (we would have been married 21 years in June), the start of school and this past week we took our first vacation without him (Florida for a few days). I hate these firsts.
I’ve been so lucky that all of you have been here for us in so many ways. On the business front, I’m so grateful for the team at Woodridge Software and for Matt’s friends from EO and elsewhere that helped me keep everything going and growing. A few months ago, I hired a great CEO to run the business and I’m working more and more involved. Working more has been a transition, but I’m optimistic about the prospects and the potential in the business and extremely grateful for everyone’s hard work.
On the personal front, the support has also been overwhelming. I feel so lucky to have family and friends that will drop everything at a moment’s notice to help when I need it. I keep busy with the day-to-day coordination of two kids at two schools with two sets of activities and I’m always thankful for the assistance of friends in helping me navigate the logistics on my own. I am constantly grateful for my amazing kids. They have grown so much and are so kind and helpful and have really been a great support to me and to each other. It’s not fair that this happened and it hurts to watch them hurt, but we’re making it and muddling through this together.
As we approach this six-month mark, I wanted to reach out and thank everyone for all you’ve done to help us through these first six months. In an ideal world, I would have sent specific heartfelt thank you notes to each of you individually to let you know how much we appreciate all you’ve done, but obviously things aren’t ideal and hopefully you know how much I appreciate all of you and all you’ve done. Please know that the specific thanks are coming. We truly feel loved and supported and I can’t imagine what the last six months would have been like without all of you.
As we move forward, I’m trying to model all of Matt’s great traits for our kids. I truly am a better person for having known him and I want to be sure the kids have the opportunity to know a little bit about what he meant to other people in his life. If you have a moment and think of a story of Matt that you’d be willing to share, I’d appreciate it if you could add something to this memorial site. Eventually, I’d like to share those memories with the kids when they’re ready and they really mean a lot to me.