ForeverMissed
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Updated – October 2023

The 4th Annual Max McD Memorial Golf Outing…

Was held on 9/7 at the Spook Rock Golf Club in Suffern, NY – followed by dinner and drinks at the Mason Jar in Mahwah, NJ. A nice time was had by all.

We went for a little “smaller” this year – 20 golfers and 25 or so for dinner. Although not a fund-raiser for the Max Scholarship Fund this year, we still walked away with about $1000 for the scholarship – much of it from the sale of a painting by Max’s Dad which can be seen in the link below:
https://www.forevermissed.com/max-mcdonough/galler...

Thanks – Janet, Jim and Brett



Updated - June 2023

The 1st Annual Max McDonough Memorial Scholarship was Awarded Last Night...

at Randolph High School to a wonderfully accomplished student who appears to be "enjoying the ride" as Max did when he was with us.

Please view the brief presentation in the video below. Would love to hear any comments if you get a chance.

https://youtu.be/lfB0Pi8fqz0

Thank you from Janet, Brett, and Jim



Updated - November 2022

The Max McDonough Memorial Scholarship has been established!

After raising $12,600 at the 3rd Annual Max Memorial Golf Outing (link to pictures immediately below) - Janet and I are very happy to announce the establishment of an annual scholarship in his name at Randolph HS - Max's HS alma mater. Details are being worked out with the Principal of the high school. Thanks to all who contributed and participated.

Photographer (Pete Byron) has provided a link to the golf photos. From Pete: "In the upper right corner of the first pic is a down arrow. If you select that it will enable to download everything. If you want individual photos there is a down arrow in the lower right corner of the individual photo.

https://www.petebyron.com/Other/Client-Image-1/n-gfXtLw



Updated - August 2022

2022 3rd Annual Max Memorial Golf Outing

Proceeds to go to a newly created scholarship fund in Max's name

Where: Concordia Golf Club, Monroe Township, NJ
When: Saturday 9/10. 
11:30 - Registration | 12:30 - Box lunch | 1:00 Shotgun Start | After Golf - Drinks and Dinner |
Awards, Raffle, Auction

$175 per golfer | $250 Hole Sponsorship | $50 IF dinner and drinks only

Make checks out to: Max R McDonough Memorial Scholarship or Zelle to Chase bank - at 862.222.0985. Call Jim McD at that number or email me at jimmcd7@gmail.com




Updated - March 2022

A TED Talk on Grief and Personal Transformation

Hi everybody: It’s been a while since I updated this site – but when I have something to share, I do want to reach out to you – Max’s friends and family. As always, I thank you for the generosity of your time in your otherwise busy day.

In a conversation with my sister Jeanne, she suggested (convinced?) me to write a TED/TEDx Talk (google it ;-) about grief and transformation that might also be uplifting to others that have lost a loved one. I thought that was a good idea. So – she has officially nominated me to give the talk (we’ll see) – but in the meantime, I thought I’d share it with you today (link below). I hope you take the time to peruse it – I had you in mind as well when I wrote it.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hEOx6Cy5J6Oe6n...

I will be in touch in a couple of months about the 2022 Max memorial golf outing.
Thanks - JIM



Updated – August 2021

The 2021 2nd Annual Max Memorial Golf Outing

36 Friends and family joined us at Farmstead CC to remember Max – and enjoy the company of like-minded souls. Seven (7) trophies and a “special” golf club were awarded – with stories, remembrances, and a poem offered up in Max’s memory (the poem is below). We were delighted to host all who came (from 8 states) – with a special shout-out this year to the 4 Indiana “Hoosiers” – some of Max’s good friends from Indiana Univ.

Here are the pictures of the post-golf festivities:
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/s6jg4lrbnth4qqk/AADZK3E...

And finally, the poem that was read that we think Max would have loved…

Feel no guilt in laughter, he’d know how much you care.
Feel no sorrow in a smile that he is not here to share.
You cannot grieve forever; he would not want you to.
He’d hope that you could carry on the way you always do.

So, talk about the good times and the way you showed you cared,
The days you spent together, all the happiness you shared.
Let memories surround you, a word someone may say
Will suddenly recapture a time, an hour, a day,

That brings him back as clearly as though he were still here,
And fills you with the feeling that he is always near.
For if you keep those moments, you will never be apart
And he will live forever locked securely within your heart.

Thanks – Jim, Janet and Brett (please share any brief thoughts you’d like in remembrance of Max)

Updated - June 18 2021
Father's Day | Upcoming Golf Outing
2587403_1920x1080_f985cc.jpg
I wanted to share my very favorite Father’s Day picture. And wanted to say that I look forward to seeing some of you at the 2nd Annual Max Memorial Goal Outing in August.
Best, Jim

Updated - March 23 2021
I Just Had to Write My Thoughts Down Today
To Max and the universe at large…
Just maybe I underutilize this bittersweet site that has served to remember you in a very special way. Maybe some are thinking what is really left to say? A lot as it turns out. It’s been 18 months since your passing. Life moves on – and me with it - and yet I am stuck. Not all the time (I’ll admit) but at times (in waves) that I can never predict. Like many days I guess - there have been so many random occurrences lately that bring you to mind. Just yesterday, I wanted to text you about March Madness events. Or songs that I hear or texts from your friends or the bronze Vette I was parked next to yesterday – you know, the one you tried to talk me into buying! These things stop me in my tracks to be honest.
I have read that the loss of a child is probably the worst trauma a human being can experience. There can be no doubt about that. Only those who have walked this path could ever understand the depth and breadth of the loss and pain. The empty space remains forever. Holidays are tortuous. The simple question “So - how many kids do you have?” triggers a distressful sadness. I can’t even look at small buildings or rooftops anymore. Crueler still that this thought still pops into my mind at any time.
Already on your way up – I think “what would you have become”? How often would you have visited FLA with friends to get away from it all? Imagine the memories of your wedding. How many grandkids would you have given us? I know they would have been pretty darn good-looking! They say that people “grieve” differently and that is SO true. I think I am somehow lucky in this regard (lucky?) – having been allowed to have intense, introspective thoughts of you and having been directed by some innate force to publicly exclaim that I was the luckiest dad (and mom) to have even had you for as long as I/we did. This is – I believe – the ultimate glass half full statement that I can ever muster.
I’m no nihilist, but…events like this makes one strive for meaning and purpose in a world where it is often times hard to find. And I know you would be very sad if you knew we were moping around all the time. Knowing that – and in some very weird way - recovering our life would ultimately bestow the greatest gift we could give you. The grief somehow transforms to gratitude. What a thought! Impossible to even think such thoughts a year and a half ago.
Which brings me to the possibility of a silver lining (a theme I have come back to many times). Hey - I am simply a changed person – by way of circumstance and by design. Your passing has made me:
  • think deeply about the meaning of life
  • find a new spiritual (if not religious) awakening
  • More empathetic and compassionate
  • Realize we are a part of a much bigger picture
  • Understand the importance of living in the present
  • Realize the importance of friends, “connection”, and gratitude
  • More appreciate the fine young man you were – and how you tried to live your life
I gather strength from the musings of people who have thought “deep thoughts” about all this.
From Alan Watts (the person responsible for bringing Buddhist thoughts to the western world): “No one really dies until the ripples they caused in the world die away”. This very note suggests your ripples will be around for a long while!
From Victor Frankel (author of Man’s Search for Meaning): “In some ways, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds meaning”. I better understand that now.
From Seneca (the Stoic philosopher): “Life runs through our fingers like water. We cannot stem the flow, but we can drink deeply while it is there”. Wow.
Max – you drank deeply while you were here. We will continue to think about you every day. Maybe in a slightly different way. We will get together with many of your friends and family (for the second time) this summer in a golf outing to REMEMBER YOU. I can’t wait…as I am sure so many others can’t as well.
Oh – and of course, Mom and Brett think of you every bit as often as I do. I’m just the one with the big mouth…
Love, Dad


Updated - November 24 2020

A Poem About Max on his Birthday

People Liked Him
People just liked him!
He wasn’t rich or known to fame;
Just being who he was
Ensured him this acclaim

He had an easy-going style
His was not a forceful way,
And he had a gentle smile
With typically a kind word to say

Never arrogant or proud,
A good soul with manner mild;
Never quarrelsome or loud,
As fun-loving as a child

Thoughtful, cool, kind and true:
Thus he lived from day to day,
Doing what he loved to do
In a “good guy” sort of way

He endeared himself to all he met
Despite his weisenheimer ways
Did it without breaking a sweat,
Everyday – always!

Sort of guy you’d like to meet
So easy to embrace
He got away with murder
When that smile was on his face!

Sort of guy you'd like to be:
Smart, witty and always fair;
Patient in adversity,
Most likable – with a real “flair”

Never lied to friend or foe,
Never rash in word or deed,
Quick to come and slow to go
In a friend’s (or dog’s) time of need

His was a brief life well lived
Clearly he enjoyed the ride
His leaving us way too soon
Left a sorrow, far and wide

In our hearts he will always be,
And on that I won’t be lax
I am sure we can all agree
People just liked Max!

Happy Birthday Son – from your family and all your many friends.We miss you so much!  
Please feel free to share your brief wishes or thoughts on this day.



Updated - September 2020

The 2020 1st Annual Max Memorial Golf Outing


35 friends and family joined us at Farmstead CC to remember Max as he would have liked to be remembered! Pictures of the event can be found in the “Gallery. Eight trophies were handed out on the patio as everyone shared their favorite Max stories. By unanimous decision, a 2nd annual outing will happen in 2021 – good news for many friends who could not travel to NJ because of the corona virus.

You are loved by so many Max, and we miss you dearly.


We would also like to share this brief tribute for Max from that day:
Max Golf Outing -- Uplifting Words

Lastly, we wish to again share with you what some of the greatest minds have to say about the meaning of life to help us all make find peace in all of this, and invite you to share any thoughts or comments in the tribute section below.

This document can be found at this link:
Thoughts on the Meaning of Life

Thank you!
- Max's Mom & Dad



Updated – March 2020


The 6 month anniversary of Max’s passing has come and gone – another reminder of just how much he is missed. It seems to us it’s also an opportunity to think a few deep thoughts about the meaning of life.

As you know, Max had a deceptively simple but life-endearing call to “enjoy the ride” – coupled with expressions of kindness at every turn. We reflect on that often – and try to let it be the guiding force in my life. Maybe you have attempted to do the same.

In thinking about this, we wanted to share with you what some of the greatest minds have to say about the meaning of life. Whatever your spiritual beliefs, we are confident you will find this both thought-provoking and comforting.  At the end – in Jim's personal postscript, he tries to reconcile his thoughts and beliefs to make some sense of this – and INVITE YOU to share any brief comments or thoughts in the tribute section below.

You can find the link to this document here:
Thoughts on the Meaning of Life

Thank you – Max’s Mom & Dad



Updated 11/19/19

A sincere thanks to all of you who attended Max’s memorial on 9/21/19. Many of you came from far and wide. Father Tarantino’s homily was beautifully wistful and the many tributes were touching, heartfelt and sincere.

Here are YouTube links to the tributes from Max's memorial:
Part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hneYaY0qc34
Part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAYwKDalihE

In Remembrance of Max’s Birthday (Nov 24th)

 To Max: A Birthday Message from Mom and Dad

As your birthday nears, our thoughts of you intensify…
If that’s even possible.
The reel of your life’s movie plays constantly in our minds.
Your smile. Your humor. Your kindness. YOU!
A bittersweet joy.
Heartbreaking – though a blessing as we seek any measure of comfort.
Inconsolable – yet an enduring reminder of precious time we had together.
It reinforces just how much we enjoyed having you as our son.
The memories of you are as integral to our being as is our soul.

At some point, we will need to step back into the stream of life.
Somehow and some day –
We will need to build a new world within the world we knew.
But rest assured Max
The memories of you will be like a robe we regularly wrap ourselves in.
Know that you are always loved
and forever present in our lives.
And it will always be that way. Always.

With all our love, Mom and Dad
Please feel free to share your own thoughts and messages on the website in celebration of Max’s BDay.
Lastly, it is just so nice that Janet and I will be celebrating Max’s BDay at our house with 7 or 8 of his close friends from Randolph. They are cooking dinner on the 24th and remembering their good friend – who will definitely be there in spirit!  



This lasting memory was created especially for you, his family and his many friends. PLEASE see the pictures in the gallery and, just as important, please contribute your pictures, stories, and tributes for all to see. You can do this by clicking the "add photos" button to the right or through the "Stories" tab above this. 

No words can describe our love for Max – a vibrant 27-year-old who flourished in the world in every sense of the word. Kind, thoughtful, funny, industrious, smart and fun-loving. Yes – we are biased, but we believe there is no one reading this who wouldn’t agree.

Older friends and family remember Max as the blond-haired, blue-eyed kid with the perpetual smile – from winning photo contests (really!) to beating older guys in a foul-shooting contest while on vacation. He was a quiet kid – we used to joke at how few words he said in a day. But then he blossomed. Max wanted to be an architect but shifted gears and became a “Hoosier." He graduated Indiana University with a finance degree. Working at prestigious Bloomberg and Blackstone/Reuters (now Refinitiv), Max was on his way up!

He loved living in the Big Apple and roomed with two other (great) guys named Max – creating the “triple Max” of Max, Maxwell, and Maximilian. As all his friends will attest, Max liked a good time, loved to travel, and enjoyed everything the world had to offer. Just recently, he traveled with his longtime friend Pat Johnson for a biking, hiking and culinary tour in Portland, Seattle and California.  

Max was a huge dog lover (and dogs loved him) – the last text we received from Max was the first picture he had taken of our dog Skylar – he was reminded of her while viewing passing dogs at a coffee shop in NYC with his girlfriend Melanie. Max made sure he called or texted us with all manner of topics at least three times a week – he was just so kind and thoughtful. Max was beloved and created a wonderful life not only for himself, but also brightened the day of everyone around him. It was a life cut far, far too short from a terrible tragedy. He was truly beloved; we miss him terribly and always will.
November 24, 2023
November 24, 2023
I saw this on a friends Facebook post today. Seemed appropriate to share. ❤️
………………………………………………
“I stood by your bed last night; I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying; you found it hard to sleep.
I spoke to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many things and memories of me.
I was with you at the shops today; your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today; you tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you, that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my hand on you; I smiled and said, "it's me."
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning
and say "good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to me.~

~Author Unknown
November 24, 2023
November 24, 2023
Happy Birthday Max! The years go by but we miss you more than ever. Got together with several of your friends just this past Tues in celebration of your BDay (everyone says hello! - but you knew that already). And just in the last few months, we had the 4th annual Max McD golf outing and the 1st annual Max McD Scholarship in your honor. You continue to make your mark in the world - even now! As we told you in a poem a few years ago - and every bit as true today: "the memories of you are like a robe we regularly wrap ourselves in - and it will always be that way. Always.
Love, Mom and Dad 
August 29, 2022
August 29, 2022
Uncle Jimmy, Aunt Janet, and Brett, I’m thinking of you all. Sending you big hugs, I miss you so much. Max is smiling down on us today! I’m missing him always❤️
August 29, 2021
August 29, 2021
Wow. Another year as gone by without you, Max. Sometimes I can’t believe it and hope it was all a bad dream. I think of you so often and continue to “enjoy the ride” that is life! Today I listened to “Forever Young” by Rod Stewart which I always associate with you, Cuz. I always know you’re smiling down on us! I had another White Claw for you today. Missing you always, but especially today. Love you ❤️
August 29, 2021
August 29, 2021
We continue to keep Max in our hearts always and we send our prayers to your entire family on the second anniversary of Max’s passing. He made such an impact on this world and his love of life inspired so many. The tributes are a reflection of his extraordinary spirit that will remain alive forever.
Your family is a role model in keeping His memory honored always.

Ken and MaryBeth Johnsen
August 29, 2021
August 29, 2021
I’m usually one to keep these thoughts to myself… but here goes nothing. There’s still not many days that pass of which Max doesn’t come to the forefront of my thoughts. These past two years have been challenging for me to get a grasp on what is a reality. I hate the term “moving on” because, to me, that’s not what it is. I’d like to say I’ve accepted the challenge of “Enjoying the Ride”, trying to be present at all moments, and living life big the way Max did. I’m trying to open my heart and eyes to whatever the future may bring albeit the curve balls that may come along the way. I’m trying new things and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. Although things didn’t go the way we all planned or hoped, Max changed my life for the better. I’ll never forget his most genuine, positive energy and the lasting impact he’s had on my life.
August 29, 2021
August 29, 2021
We think of Max and all the McDonough’s so often, when I see the picture on our fridge of Max or the one when he was little with my kids that’s in my living room, or just for no reason when thoughts of him come in to my head. Today we remember him particularly on this sad anniversary. I am always struck and impressed by his dad's thoughts and writings and forays in to art during this time of grieving - knowing that he and the family are finding ways to keep moving forward is uplifting for all of us. I know the continued support of his friends and family and particularly the golf outing that Jim cherishes, where they spend time with the other young people to share stories and laughs about their good times and antics together, is uplifting to Jim, Janet and Brett. We’re thinking of you today Max and always sending love in our hearts to you Jim and Janet and Brett. Love Patty and Brian
August 29, 2021
August 29, 2021
Dear Janet, Jim and Brett - our thoughts and prayers are with you today on the 2nd anniversary of what was most certainly the worst day of your lives losing Max. May his memory bring light to your day. Love, Mary, David and Christopher.
May 4, 2021
May 4, 2021
Jim, Janet, and Brett,

I'm sorry I am late. I heard of Max's passing through our neighbors from Shongum Crossing shortly after it happened. It was a shock to me. I wanted to offer my condolences. I figured this was the best way to do it.

I have nothing but good things to say about Max. You both certainly raised him well. I know that he grew up to become a great man.

I'm so sorry. I'll continue to pray for you all as you continue to grieve. I'll continue pray for Max as well. Don't hesitate to reach out to me, any way possible.

Rest easy, Max.

-Mark Brajer

April 2, 2021
April 2, 2021
Dear Jim,

Thank you for sharing your very personal yet beautiful tribute to Max. I still think of him so often...and every time I see a Corvette!  You, Janet, and Brett are always in my thoughts, I love you all
March 25, 2021
March 25, 2021
Dear Jim,
Your essay today about Max really stopped me in my tracks. It was very powerful and moving. As a person who believes our loved ones spirits are all around us, I truly think it made Max smile knowing your intense pain may be abating a bit.
All of the lessons you have learned on this awful journey are things we can and should all learn from.
Thank you so much for opening your heart to all of us who love Max so much. Much love to you, Janet and Brett.
Looking forward to “drinking deeply of life” later this summer at the Maxter event.
(That Seneca quote blew me away!)
Much love from Jeannie ❤️

November 25, 2020
November 25, 2020
What a beautiful poem to honor Max on his heavenly Birthday. Your family is always in our hearts and we know his memory will be everlasting to all the lives he touched .
With warm regards, The Johnsen Family
November 23, 2020
November 23, 2020
Jim - what a beautiful beautiful poem - so true to Max’s personality. Just reading it to brian and Annie we all feel so emotional about our reaction to your words and our thoughts of Max. Thinking with love of Janet, Brett and you Jim on this day .
November 23, 2020
November 23, 2020
A candle tribute for his birthday.....
I loved the poem about your son Max! It's just perfect. How wonderful that you are able to share your poem (and your thoughts) via "Forever Missed" so we can all keep Max in our thoughts and prayers. Birthdays are tough. I'm saying a prayer for the family today too. 
I remember Max from religious ed classes at Resurrection when I worked there as the Coordinator of Children's Ministry. He was such a nice boy. Then I was an adult team member on Seek with Matt when he was part of the team as a Junior in high school. I could see what a fine young man he was becoming. Happy birthday in heaven Max -- your family & friends miss you~
November 23, 2020
November 23, 2020
What a lovely poem, Jim and Janet.
Max’s passing has certainly left a sorrow far and wide in my heart.
I have found myself several times over the past year when thinking about Max, remembering his “Enjoy the Ride” credo
and feeling like part of his legacy is to help us live that way. Thank you for this forum so we can continue to tell you both and Brett how special a man Max McDonough was.
Lots of love from Jeannie.  (Max’s Aunt)
September 19, 2020
September 19, 2020
It’s crazy to think a little over a year ago the world lost the bright light that was Max- the world hasn’t been and never will be the same! Whether he is with us or not, nothing can change the impact he left on this world. He’ll always be the cool, calm, collected, successful, fun, and witty older cousin I’ve looked up to. His mindset to just enjoy the ride changed my own attitude. I so admire his ability to live every day to the fullest, so much so that I have him to thank for the incredible senior year of college I just had. I’m hoping to get back to Kinchley’s soon to have some pizza like we used to do with you, my dad, my sister Beth, Uncle Jim, Aunt Janet and Brett! I remember one time that we went you forgot your ID, and the waitress wouldn’t let you order a drink. So since you were shorted a beer then I’ll be getting one for you to make up for that time too! A few weeks ago in LBI, Maeve, Beth and I were watching the sunset on the deck, and it brought me back to watching the prettiest sunset in the same spot together a year ago with you. It’s not the same without you around, but I’m forever grateful for that time together at the shore last summer. Although he is physically no longer here with us his spirit, memory, kindness, and outlook on life will continue to live on in all the people who were lucky enough to have known him even a little bit. All I can say is thank you, Max. Cheersing some White Claws for you today!
August 29, 2020
August 29, 2020
On this one year Anniversary of Max’s passing we send our love to the McDonough family . We think always of Max’s spirit and the indelible mark he has left on so many hearts ❤️ God bless your family always❤️With love , The Johnsen Family
August 29, 2020
August 29, 2020
On this the first Anniversary of Max’s death we wanted to reach out to Jim, Janet, to Max’s brother and to all of Max’s family and friends to let you know you’re all in our thoughts and prayers as you remember Max on this day of memorial. God Bless.

Cathe and Doug Brown
August 29, 2020
August 29, 2020
Dear Max,
This weekend is a tough one for me. There’s no sugarcoating that. How has one year gone by without you? Last night I had a Deja-Vu moment driving to New York over the Tappan Zee Bridge. I remembered making this drive around the same time one year ago after you passed, Max. It was as if you heard my thoughts because all of a sudden, amidst a stormy evening, a patch of golden sky opened through the clouds. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and instantly heard your voice in the back of my head telling me to stop crying lol. Thanks for visiting me, Cuz.
This past week marked one year since we had you down at the shore house. Uncle Alan, Aunt Maurney, and Maeve were there this week. We reminisced about our memories from last summer and still couldn’t believe it’s been one year. Cooper misses you too, without you, he wouldn’t have made it to the sunset deck last summer! One night, Amy, Maeve and I rode our bikes to get ice cream. It was the same route we took to the bar together. I swear, it was as if you were biking next to me again....wait...remind me NEVER to bike to and from a bar again
Thanks to that Rod Stewart impersonator at the bar that night, whenever I hear one of his songs I think of you. I can’t seem to shake Rod’s gold suit shimmying on stage. Thanks for giving me advice that night, I’ll never forget it. I’m missing your brother-like advice now more than ever. Keep shining down on us, Max! I love you and miss you so much
Love, your Cuz
August 29, 2020
August 29, 2020
Thinking of Max today and everyone who's life he touched. Enjoying the minute details and moments from each day as his positive easy-going energy is still with us. I imagine he's sitting Indian style with one of his crazy seen-on-tv green smoothie concoctions he'd make many mornings, watching over us with his signature smile that came so naturally to him and everyone when in his company.
August 29, 2020
August 29, 2020
Sending so much love, hugs, and prayers to everyone today. Lately, I have been reliving memories of Max, specifically our summers. The littlest things remind me of him. It makes me cry knowing there won’t be anymore but also makes me smile because of the great times we did have. I miss him insanely. It’s been a wild year and I know I’m not alone in my feelings. Shoutout to all the wonderful people who got to experience the joy that was Max. We all lost an amazing person last year, may we never forget him.

I miss you so much friend, it hurts. Keep resting in peace. ILY
March 30, 2020
March 30, 2020
We think of max all the time - thank you Jim for your thoughts on life , love , continuing to live and learn. As always love to you, Jan and Brett.
March 27, 2020
March 27, 2020
As the days go on from Max's passing, it makes me realize how much I truly miss having him around. From the trips up to NYC to let loose and have fun, to the talks and endless knee hockey games we played in our friend Pic’s basement for years is just the tip of the iceberg. We enjoyed life any way possible and that’s what made our relationship special. I know Max lived everyday to the fullest always telling me about new adventures he’d been experiencing in the city or traveling around the world. We were always bouncing ideas off each other for things to do. I think the meaning of life can be interpreted many ways but Max and I looked at it the same, live it up and enjoy the ride. We were big proponents of experiencing everything you want once, never back down from a challenge, especially if it’s one of your buddies calling you out, and make the most of any situation. I can only imagine how Max would be dealing with the virus and quarantining. I know he’d have cabin fever like all of us but I also know he’d be looking on the bright side and making light-hearted puns to get through it. I take that same mindset into everyday life and I think that’s why Max and I got along so well without even trying. I miss having my partner in crime around but I am soooo thankful for the time I spent with him. Will never forget you my dude.
March 27, 2020
March 27, 2020
We never knew Max and until recently, never knew you or Janet either. Just by chance, you decided to move into our Florida neighborhood and we met. So very thankful we did!

Thank you for inviting us to visit the memorial page for Max. In reading the comments and stories it is apparent Max lived a full life and was very much loved by all who knew him. I can’t imagine the constant pain you both endure every day. Please accept our deepest and heartfelt sympathies.

In response to your post these are my (Cathe’s) “Thoughts on the Meaning of Life”.

Doug says, “the meaning is all in our head.” It is personal for each. I agree!
I believe people enter and exit our lives for a specific reason. So do our pets.
Each brings us something we didn’t realize we needed and in turn, takes something we didn’t know we had to give.
Our lives are enriched and we are educated by each other’s presence.
Life leads us to places we never imagined we needed to be, but years later, it becomes clear why we were there.
Life gives us choices. Lots of choices.
We are born, we live, we laugh, we cry. We share our experiences, our lives, our hearts, our world and our love. We search internally and externally for peace and true happiness. Then one day we die. Why?
Perhaps there was nothing left for us to do in this life. We helped those we were meant to help along the way as they also helped us.
Perhaps it was just time to enter into another life, or for our old spirit to to be reborn to once again help others find their way.
Perhaps in death we simply teach others how to live.
So what truly is the meaning of life? Why are we here? What is our purpose?
For me, it is simple.
  To love and to be loved! 
  Everything else along the way is 
  just that.........
December 27, 2019
December 27, 2019
I’ve been thinking of Max and his grieving family a lot these many days surrounding Christmas. I know this is a tough time to get through, so I hope Brett’s presence Is easing some of your pain. Know that I am just one of the many friends who have you in their hearts and thoughts. ❤️
December 26, 2019
December 26, 2019
On our first Christmas without you Max - we wanted you to know that we miss you terribly and that you will always be with us. You were a big fan of Xmas - and we miss your smiling face... that Santa hat you wore each and every year....and your very thoughtful gifts. It’s not the same without you buddy. You are always in our thoughts.

All our love - Mom, Dad, Brett and Maddie.
November 25, 2019
November 25, 2019
Dear Janet and Jim:
Today on Max’s Birthday and every day we keep you in our heart and prayers. We hope your wonderful memories of Max warm your heart and give you comfort today . Max’s example of being present and living in the moment with purpose resonates with all who were touched by his life.
Sending you love and thanks too for sharing such a special gift with the world - your wonderful son❤️ Melanie loved her gift too.
Love,
Mary Beth & Ken Johnsen
November 25, 2019
November 25, 2019
Thinking of your family and Max often, but especially today on his birthday.

At our first apartment in the East Village, we used to celebrate each others birthdays with "family dinners" at Dallas BBQ on St. Marks. What started as a bad joke became a celebrated mini tradition. The ambiance left more to be desired, the food was mediocre, but the company made up for both.

Hope he's watching over us and enjoying his big day with a smile, baby back ribs, a personal blooming onion and Texas-sized frozen margarita. 
November 24, 2019
November 24, 2019
Dear Jim, Janet and Brett,
I think of you and pray for each of you and Max often. I'm especially thinking of you today on Max's birthday. While I am sure like most days, there is still the shock that this is even a reality. For that heartache and tragedy, I'll forever keep you in my thoughts and prayers. With today's being Max's Birthday, I'm sure there is an especially deep void. That said, I hope there is some small comfort in knowing that, for me, someone who has never had the pleasure of meeting Max, is actually thinking of him today as I do on many days since I learned of his passing. In fact, I've kept Max's mass card because the I found the story of his life so touching and his spirit so vibrant that it spoke to me. The message of being in the present, cherishing each and every moment and living it fully is a gift bestowed by someone I never actually met but someone I'll hold close and learn from. With love, Russell
November 24, 2019
November 24, 2019
Leading up to Max’s birthday, I had dinner with Jim & Janet a few weeks ago. We caught up on life and kept his spirit with us. As if they couldn’t get any sweeter or more caring, they gave me a replica of Max’s “Enjoy the Ride” sign. It’s now my daily reminder to live every day fully, as he did. Today is a day I surround myself with love ones to help me feel a little less blue. I was driving through a rainstorm which ended in a beautiful sunset today, which felt fitting for Max’s day. I feel like he was smiling down.

To my birthday boy:
Accepting that you’re gone is still a bitter pill that I swallow every day. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of you. I miss your smile, your eyes, and just being with you. If you were here today, I’m thinking of how much I would want to spoil you because you’re so deserving of it. Hope you saw the balloons I released to you today. Happy Birthday Max ❤️
November 24, 2019
November 24, 2019
I always teased you about being older, but I guess the joke’s on me now. Missing you so much today, this week, this month because it’s birthday time and you aren’t here to celebrate. Some of our best memories involve our birthdays! Thank you for celebrating with me over so many years. I couldn’t ask for a better birthday buddy. Hope you’re partying it up in Heaven (of course you are). Happy Birthday friend. I love and miss you so much 
November 24, 2019
November 24, 2019
Happy birthday dear Max!!! Watch over mom and dad and be in peace!!!! You are and will always be missed so you will never be gone in everyone’s hearts and minds!!!
November 24, 2019
November 24, 2019
Jim, Janet, Brett,

Thinking of you today and always as you celebrate Max's birthday with close friends. Find comfort in being together and let in a little bit of joy in remembering Max's well-lived life and how he touched and impacted so many people in extrodinary ways.

With love, Lori, Larry and Ali
November 24, 2019
November 24, 2019
What an uplifting idea. How wonderful that Janet, Jim and Max’s close friends are sharing this special day together.
November 24, 2019
November 24, 2019
My daughter Katie recently shared this picture from our niece Taryn's wedding. Like in most of Max's pictures, he is smiling. It makes me smile at the memory of that dance with him. He was such an incredibly sweet boy who grew into a wonderful young man.

Happy Birthday in heaven Max. Jim, Janet and Brett, we all share your sorrow and miss him very much.

Much love from Aunt Jeannie and Uncle John

November 24, 2019
November 24, 2019
I’m thinking of my Uncle Jimmy, Aunt Janet and cousin Brett today. I know Max is watching over us all, especially on his birthday.

I couldn’t help but smile as I drove to one of my grad school classes the other day. While sitting in traffic on the thruway, my mind racing with a thousand thoughts of tasks I needed to accomplish and deadlines I needed to meet, my eyes instantly fell on the most BEAUTIFUL sunset I’ve ever seen. Being in traffic, the cars around me also stared in awe and people began taking photos. My stress immediately dissolved and I smiled, knowing that the sunset I was looking at was Max smiling down on me from heaven and telling me to stop stressing!

I can feel Max’s presence now more than ever and as we head into the holiday season, I know he will continue to share more beautiful sunsets with us all. I can’t wait to spend Thanksgiving with Uncle Jimmy, Aunt Janet and Brett. Happy birthday, Cuz! I’ll crack open a White Claw for you today ❤️
November 23, 2019
November 23, 2019
This time of year was always special for Max and I. Our birthdays were only weeks apart which became more and more fun to celebrate as we grew older. Once we graduated college, we decided to turn our birthdays into destination trips. We always wanted to escape to a warm weather place and started with staying in Santa Monica, CA for a few days. Aside from staying on the beach for hours, we visited friends and made new ones wherever we went. I think that first trip our there really inspired our west coast trip this past summer. Last year, we broke the warm weather streak quickly and visited our buddies in Denver. We enjoyed hiking, skiing, and our first experience on the scooters. I know Max would have another destination picked our for us but I think he would give that up one year to celebrate with his family and friends. I am really looking forward to doing that this year and making it as special as the last countless years have been. 

Happy Birthday my dude!!
November 21, 2019
November 21, 2019
Max is on my mind most every day - his picture is on my refrigerator so Brian and I speak of him, of Brett, of Jimmy and Janet so often. 
I have other pictures of him with my kids and those pictures and memories always make me smile. Mostly I am still so sad - allowing myself to sometimes get lost in the sadness always with Jim, Janet and Brett as my next thought. I have a few very dear friends who have suffered the loss of a child and unbelievably have met a few more in the last few months. With my close friends who have had this loss, I go to them for comfort sometimes to ask them to remind me how they carried on. Their strength, their positive thoughts that they send to all of us, and the knowledge that they have been able to find a full life, never forgetting their dear one or diminishing the love they feel, has been a comfort. As Max's birthday nears I know that each occasion such as a birthday is so hard - and very particularly the first, but I also take comfort in the all the people that have been touched by Max and continue to reach out to his family to help ease the burden. I love the idea of his buddies being their with Jim and Janet to cook dinner and remember Max on his birthday. Something tells me Max would be pretty happy about all that conversation that will be happening all about him that evening. Sending love to all as we think of Max on his birthday. Love Aunt Patty and Uncle Brian
November 20, 2019
November 20, 2019
As Max’s birthday nears, I am reminded of how much we all love and miss him. It still doesn’t feel real sometimes, as strange as that may sound.  I think of him so often… no matter where I am.  I have one of his favorite songs on my playlist and it makes me happy when I hear it, because when I think of him…I want to remember his beautiful smiling face and amazing spirit!   

I also think a lot about Brett, Jim and Janet, and wish there was a way I could ease their sorrow just a little bit as they approach this difficult holiday season and beyond.  I just want them to know, that I love them all very much, and I am here for all of you. Happy Birthday Max, my sweet nephew.
Love, Aunt Maurny
September 21, 2019
September 21, 2019
Janet, Jim and Brett, I feel like I have gotten to know Max through these beautiful photos, videos and stories. (My favorite video is Max dancing in the pizza shop.) Like all your friends and family members, I have no words to express my deep sympathy for your loss. I will see you at the celebration of Max’s life and I’m always here to support you in any way. Love, Susan
September 20, 2019
September 20, 2019
Max was a good friend and apartment-mate to our son. Our thoughts and prayers have been with you and will continue. Our deepest sympathy to you.
Sue and Dan Mangold
September 20, 2019
September 20, 2019
Jim,

My heart goes out to you and your family. I did not know Max but the times that you spoke about him were with love. God bless you all!
- Josh and Prizer Family
September 19, 2019
September 19, 2019
 We first met Max over 25 years ago when we became neighbors and friends. He was an adorable child with a loving personality and a big smile. We always remember Max as a playful inquisitive, happy child, who loved playing basketball in his driveway.
 Max grew up to be a wonderful and accomplished young man who made his parents and family so proud of him. We can remember spending time with Max as he shared his future plans and goals; he was so excited about his career choice and living in NYC. His handsome face and bright outlook on life forever remains in our memories..
 Our hearts are filled with deep sorrow and wish Janet, Jim and Brett peace and comfort in this incredibly difficult time. May our friendship, sympathy and heart filled condolences bring you some comfort.
Love,
Gail and Bob Baragona
September 16, 2019
September 16, 2019
Janet, Jim and Brett~

Our family wants to extend our deepest sympathy in the loss of your wonderful son and brother Max. There will never be any words to ever express this tragic loss. Although we missed out on the opportunity to formally meet Max, we know how much he radiated such life, spirit and love through all the memories Melanie (and you both) have shared over these past months and recent days. We can only imagine how special it was to have Max these past 27 years -seeing our daughter so happy these past months only confirms the amazing individual Max truly was. We are praying Max can give you strength from above and that you heal with your wonderful memories to carry forward in the spirit in which he lived each day. We can never thank you enough for all your kindness and support of Melanie. It truly means so much and just shows what loving parents you both are. You raised a really wonderful son. We will remember Max always in our hearts.

With our deepest sympathy and love,
Mary Beth & Ken Johnsen and Family
September 15, 2019
September 15, 2019
I remember seeing at a young boy who looked like an angel with a smile that made you feel good. Over the years, we were updated by his parents as to his progress in high school, college and in the work environment. It was apparent that he brought that same smile and attitude which made everybody feel good. He will be missed and remembered. Larry and Linda Belford
September 11, 2019
September 11, 2019
My deepest condolences to Max's family. I met Max when he joined the Content Services team at Refinitiv. I enjoyed meeting with him regularly and appreciated his desire to learn and grow in his new role. After I left Refinitiv, he reached out to me to see how I was doing and he was looking forward to meeting up and having lunch together. I am saddened that we never had that opportunity but I will always remember him for the smart, kind and very nice person he was to all.

May his memory be eternal!
September 8, 2019
September 8, 2019
We are the parents of one of the „triple-Max“ and would like to express our heartfelt condolences.
We have been deeply hurt by the death of Max. Words seem inadequate to express the sadness we feel about your loss, although we did not have the chance to meet him.
Our thoughts are with you and we wish you much strength in this difficult and sad time.
Bettina & Thorsten
September 8, 2019
September 8, 2019
So, so sorry for your loss. Didn’t have the pleasure to know Max well but can see how much he meant to so many. RIP; sending all my love.
September 8, 2019
September 8, 2019
Our prayers go out to Max's family and friends. Max will always have a place in everyone's heart.

Don and Tammy
September 6, 2019
September 6, 2019
With a heavy heart I send love and prayers to Rope, Jim and Brett. I knew Max through the loving stories his Mom told me during our chats.  She was so proud of him and all of his accomplishments. 
Prayers for peace,
Hoff
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Recent Tributes
November 24, 2023
November 24, 2023
I saw this on a friends Facebook post today. Seemed appropriate to share. ❤️
………………………………………………
“I stood by your bed last night; I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying; you found it hard to sleep.
I spoke to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many things and memories of me.
I was with you at the shops today; your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today; you tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you, that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my hand on you; I smiled and said, "it's me."
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning
and say "good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to me.~

~Author Unknown
November 24, 2023
November 24, 2023
Happy Birthday Max! The years go by but we miss you more than ever. Got together with several of your friends just this past Tues in celebration of your BDay (everyone says hello! - but you knew that already). And just in the last few months, we had the 4th annual Max McD golf outing and the 1st annual Max McD Scholarship in your honor. You continue to make your mark in the world - even now! As we told you in a poem a few years ago - and every bit as true today: "the memories of you are like a robe we regularly wrap ourselves in - and it will always be that way. Always.
Love, Mom and Dad 
August 29, 2022
August 29, 2022
Uncle Jimmy, Aunt Janet, and Brett, I’m thinking of you all. Sending you big hugs, I miss you so much. Max is smiling down on us today! I’m missing him always❤️
His Life
September 2, 2019
11/24/91 – Our firstborn arrives!

11/24/93 – Max and family move to Randolph NJ

9/05/95 – Starts school – what a cutie!

10/1/99 – Begins 1st track season – mom is his track and long jump coach

9/3/06 – Moves up to Randolph High School

12/5/06 – Starts at guard for frosh BBall team 

12/5/07 – Rolls his ankle at 1st practice – so much for BBall

6/20/10 – Graduates

8/28/10 – Enrolls at University at Arizona (Architecture)

8/29/12 – Switches major and schools – on to Indiana University and the Kelley School of Business

12/10/14 – Graduates with great grades (his parents are happy)

2/1/15 – Starts working at Bloomberg in NYC

12/05/15 – Moves to the East Village. 

12/15/17 (or thereabouts) – Recruited to BlackStone/Reuters

7/25/18 (or thereabouts) – movin’ on up to the East Side (2nd Ave) – Max loved the Big Apple!

 

Recent stories
March 26, 2021
Jim, beautifully written you have a way with words. I know he will be terribly missed. And you’re right he would want you to  move on.Larry
May 26, 2020
When Max first passed, I really didn’t know how to put anything into words, so as badly as I wanted to write something on here I couldn’t bring myself to do so (so I commend everyone who has!). This is my first time writing on here so I first want to say that I miss you, Max! Time has gone so fast but so slow all at once. It feels like August was yesterday, but also ten years ago. As one of my older cousins, for as long as I can remember, I always put Max on a pedestal. Whenever Beth, my dad and I would meet up with Uncle Jim, Aunt Janet, Max, and Brett at Kinchley’s or Macaroni Grill it was always a good time. He was just a genuinely cool person. He is one of my many older cousins who I’ve always looked up to (and still do). Shortly after Max passed, I moved into my house at school to start my last year of college, which was a tough turn around. As hard as it was, I tried to keep Max’s motto at the forefront: Enjoy the ride. After our senior year got cut short due to the pandemic, I had a lot of time to look back at the year I had with my friends at school. I took advantage of every opportunity, every moment, and never said no to going to the bar (making you proud always, dad). I was able to look back and smile, knowing I took advantage of every opportunity. I thankfully had this mindset because of Max. It’s a powerful thing for a person who has passed to continue to have such an impact on another person’s mindset, and way of life- but Max was that kind of person, and that dominant of a presence. Max’s philosophy to “Enjoy the ride” is the mantra I lived by for that whole year, and I now understand even more why his life was so full, and how he impacted so many people- even those he never knew. When we first heard the news that our semester would be online for the rest of the year, my roommates and I were talking about the fun year we had, and how we could each look back and say we had no regrets. One of my roommates then said: “yeah, Amy I remember you saying one day that we just need to enjoy the moment and enjoy the ride and that really did it for me.” Whether my roommate knew it or not, Max McDonough and how he lived had an impact on how she, someone who never met Max, chose to live her life. Bottom line, I will always miss and love you Max, and I owe my senior year to you. Enjoying the ride for you today and everyday! PS: All Mango Claws consumed here on out are also for you! Love, Amy  
September 20, 2019
Max and I met somewhat randomly as one of my roommates was moving out and myself and my other roommate needed a someone to take on a sublet. Shortly there after my other roommate moved out and we took on another (Max Mangold). Our apartment became two Maxes and a Ryan or two Ryans and one Max. Some people will understand this, but I'm not sure if I ever fully understood myself how Max's ID said Ryan, but legally he was Max. I digress. I later had to move out of the apartment and replaced myself with another Max. This was a semi coincidence, but I saw him on a website looking for a room and I pursued rather hard. Anyways, that is how the triple Max came together. 

I lived in the Ryan & M1 & M2 or as I called them in my phone OG Max and NEW Max or Jersey Max and Buffalo Max... the list goes on to distinguish the two of them ... for about three years. OG Max and I spent so much time in our East Village apartment together when we were both single that we could guess what food each other was having for dinner at any given night of the week. Monday, probably had a rough day, Max would bring home a Tacqueria Diana burrito or Whitman's sandwich with fries. Wednesday, probably felt healthy and went to the gym - Just Salad or Chopt. We would usually guess the place and item on the menu as each other entered the door with a fairly high success rate given the variety of choices in the area. When one would frequent a certain place too many times, especially a particularly unheathly choice, we would douse the other in shame for their poor eating habits. If it was too healthy we would do the opposite. Regardless of the night, we would often look at each other and simultaneously ask if we should get ice cream followed by laughter and prod each other to admit they were serious not wanting to admit that we actually wanted to get ice cream until one of us would start getting up. A few times Max would abstain, but I didn't have the will power. I would leave solo and get a text - "Dude can you please get me a Ben and Jerry's the Stephen Colbert one? or Talenti Carmel Crunch?" 
Still on the food topic, our fridge in the east village apartment was something I will never forget. Max had an issue where he would buy kale and forget that he had bought some already and the old kale would not get thrown out. I didn't cook much so I didn't have much of a reason to go into the fridge but once in a while I would open it and I swear my eyebrows almost burned off. It was so horrid that we almost cleared a few pregames and ruined a super bowl party. It became such a problem that we essentially quarantined our fridge. Max taped it shut and put a sign on it that read "DO NOT OEPN". When it came time, we put our game faces on and attempted to clean. Opened it, almost passed out and started cleaning. Standing green liquid was drained, old meat was tossed and boxes of baking soda and coffee beans were put in their place to absorb the smell. One month later, the cycle repeated. As bad as it was, the laughs we had watching people's faces as they entered our fridge were totally worth it. 
Max was always down to just chill in the apartment on any given night, have a conversation for hours, laugh about nothing. He truly was great company. That is what I will miss the most and I'm sure all around him will miss the most. We used to have apartment viewings of various shows, most embarrassingly, the bachelor... I watched this show for the first time with M1 and M2. Not just one episode, we watched the entire season. I thought I would hate it, but with the company it was hilarious. I would get a text during work - "Bachelor tonight?? Let's grab a bottle off red from 'We Delivery' prior". We Delivery was a wine store called something or other liquor, but the sign mistakenly said we delivery instead of we deliver so naturally that is what stuck. Max was the glue in the apartment that brought us together and made things such as the bachelor happen. We also enjoyed frequenting one of the best restaurants in NYC, Dallas BBQ. You get a plate of food so large that 4 people wouldn't be able to finish it and enough Marg to make you diabetic. We planned to have another Dallas bbq roommate night after I left, but sadly it hadn't transpired. One day we will meet again and I promise we will make it happen. 

I will always remember my time living with Max. He was not someone you could forget. He was witty, confident, hilarious, outgoing, cunning, a perfect mix of poking fun while still being warm. He didn't have a malicious bone in his body no matter how much he liked to tease. I always said that Max was the most disarming person I've ever met. I could be upset about something and be at a 10, I would talk to him for 5 minutes and be at a 1. He was a unique character and I will miss him dearly. Rest in peace man. 

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