I saw this on a friends Facebook post today. Seemed appropriate to share. ❤️
………………………………………………
“I stood by your bed last night; I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying; you found it hard to sleep.
I spoke to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many things and memories of me.
I was with you at the shops today; your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today; you tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you, that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my hand on you; I smiled and said, "it's me."
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning
and say "good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to me.~

~Author Unknown

Happy Birthday Max! The years go by but we miss you more than ever. Got together with several of your friends just this past Tues in celebration of your BDay (everyone says hello! - but you knew that already). And just in the last few months, we had the 4th annual Max McD golf outing and the 1st annual Max McD Scholarship in your honor. You continue to make your mark in the world - even now! As we told you in a poem a few years ago - and every bit as true today: "the memories of you are like a robe we regularly wrap ourselves in - and it will always be that way. Always.
Love, Mom and Dad 

Uncle Jimmy, Aunt Janet, and Brett, I’m thinking of you all. Sending you big hugs, I miss you so much. Max is smiling down on us today! I’m missing him always❤️

Wow. Another year as gone by without you, Max. Sometimes I can’t believe it and hope it was all a bad dream. I think of you so often and continue to “enjoy the ride” that is life! Today I listened to “Forever Young” by Rod Stewart which I always associate with you, Cuz. I always know you’re smiling down on us! I had another White Claw for you today. Missing you always, but especially today. Love you ❤️

We continue to keep Max in our hearts always and we send our prayers to your entire family on the second anniversary of Max’s passing. He made such an impact on this world and his love of life inspired so many. The tributes are a reflection of his extraordinary spirit that will remain alive forever.
Your family is a role model in keeping His memory honored always.

Ken and MaryBeth Johnsen

I’m usually one to keep these thoughts to myself… but here goes nothing. There’s still not many days that pass of which Max doesn’t come to the forefront of my thoughts. These past two years have been challenging for me to get a grasp on what is a reality. I hate the term “moving on” because, to me, that’s not what it is. I’d like to say I’ve accepted the challenge of “Enjoying the Ride”, trying to be present at all moments, and living life big the way Max did. I’m trying to open my heart and eyes to whatever the future may bring albeit the curve balls that may come along the way. I’m trying new things and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. Although things didn’t go the way we all planned or hoped, Max changed my life for the better. I’ll never forget his most genuine, positive energy and the lasting impact he’s had on my life.

We think of Max and all the McDonough’s so often, when I see the picture on our fridge of Max or the one when he was little with my kids that’s in my living room, or just for no reason when thoughts of him come in to my head. Today we remember him particularly on this sad anniversary. I am always struck and impressed by his dad's thoughts and writings and forays in to art during this time of grieving - knowing that he and the family are finding ways to keep moving forward is uplifting for all of us. I know the continued support of his friends and family and particularly the golf outing that Jim cherishes, where they spend time with the other young people to share stories and laughs about their good times and antics together, is uplifting to Jim, Janet and Brett. We’re thinking of you today Max and always sending love in our hearts to you Jim and Janet and Brett. Love Patty and Brian

Dear Janet, Jim and Brett - our thoughts and prayers are with you today on the 2nd anniversary of what was most certainly the worst day of your lives losing Max. May his memory bring light to your day. Love, Mary, David and Christopher.

Jim, Janet, and Brett,

I'm sorry I am late. I heard of Max's passing through our neighbors from Shongum Crossing shortly after it happened. It was a shock to me. I wanted to offer my condolences. I figured this was the best way to do it.

I have nothing but good things to say about Max. You both certainly raised him well. I know that he grew up to become a great man.

I'm so sorry. I'll continue to pray for you all as you continue to grieve. I'll continue pray for Max as well. Don't hesitate to reach out to me, any way possible.

Rest easy, Max.

-Mark Brajer

Dear Jim,

Thank you for sharing your very personal yet beautiful tribute to Max. I still think of him so often...and every time I see a Corvette!  You, Janet, and Brett are always in my thoughts, I love you all

Dear Jim,
Your essay today about Max really stopped me in my tracks. It was very powerful and moving. As a person who believes our loved ones spirits are all around us, I truly think it made Max smile knowing your intense pain may be abating a bit.
All of the lessons you have learned on this awful journey are things we can and should all learn from.
Thank you so much for opening your heart to all of us who love Max so much. Much love to you, Janet and Brett.
Looking forward to “drinking deeply of life” later this summer at the Maxter event.
(That Seneca quote blew me away!)
Much love from Jeannie ❤️

What a beautiful poem to honor Max on his heavenly Birthday. Your family is always in our hearts and we know his memory will be everlasting to all the lives he touched .
With warm regards, The Johnsen Family

Jim - what a beautiful beautiful poem - so true to Max’s personality. Just reading it to brian and Annie we all feel so emotional about our reaction to your words and our thoughts of Max. Thinking with love of Janet, Brett and you Jim on this day .

A candle tribute for his birthday.....
I loved the poem about your son Max! It's just perfect. How wonderful that you are able to share your poem (and your thoughts) via "Forever Missed" so we can all keep Max in our thoughts and prayers. Birthdays are tough. I'm saying a prayer for the family today too. 
I remember Max from religious ed classes at Resurrection when I worked there as the Coordinator of Children's Ministry. He was such a nice boy. Then I was an adult team member on Seek with Matt when he was part of the team as a Junior in high school. I could see what a fine young man he was becoming. Happy birthday in heaven Max -- your family & friends miss you~

What a lovely poem, Jim and Janet.
Max’s passing has certainly left a sorrow far and wide in my heart.
I have found myself several times over the past year when thinking about Max, remembering his “Enjoy the Ride” credo
and feeling like part of his legacy is to help us live that way. Thank you for this forum so we can continue to tell you both and Brett how special a man Max McDonough was.
Lots of love from Jeannie.  (Max’s Aunt)

It’s crazy to think a little over a year ago the world lost the bright light that was Max- the world hasn’t been and never will be the same! Whether he is with us or not, nothing can change the impact he left on this world. He’ll always be the cool, calm, collected, successful, fun, and witty older cousin I’ve looked up to. His mindset to just enjoy the ride changed my own attitude. I so admire his ability to live every day to the fullest, so much so that I have him to thank for the incredible senior year of college I just had. I’m hoping to get back to Kinchley’s soon to have some pizza like we used to do with you, my dad, my sister Beth, Uncle Jim, Aunt Janet and Brett! I remember one time that we went you forgot your ID, and the waitress wouldn’t let you order a drink. So since you were shorted a beer then I’ll be getting one for you to make up for that time too! A few weeks ago in LBI, Maeve, Beth and I were watching the sunset on the deck, and it brought me back to watching the prettiest sunset in the same spot together a year ago with you. It’s not the same without you around, but I’m forever grateful for that time together at the shore last summer. Although he is physically no longer here with us his spirit, memory, kindness, and outlook on life will continue to live on in all the people who were lucky enough to have known him even a little bit. All I can say is thank you, Max. Cheersing some White Claws for you today!

On this one year Anniversary of Max’s passing we send our love to the McDonough family . We think always of Max’s spirit and the indelible mark he has left on so many hearts ❤️ God bless your family always❤️With love , The Johnsen Family

On this the first Anniversary of Max’s death we wanted to reach out to Jim, Janet, to Max’s brother and to all of Max’s family and friends to let you know you’re all in our thoughts and prayers as you remember Max on this day of memorial. God Bless.

Cathe and Doug Brown

Dear Max,
This weekend is a tough one for me. There’s no sugarcoating that. How has one year gone by without you? Last night I had a Deja-Vu moment driving to New York over the Tappan Zee Bridge. I remembered making this drive around the same time one year ago after you passed, Max. It was as if you heard my thoughts because all of a sudden, amidst a stormy evening, a patch of golden sky opened through the clouds. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and instantly heard your voice in the back of my head telling me to stop crying lol. Thanks for visiting me, Cuz.
This past week marked one year since we had you down at the shore house. Uncle Alan, Aunt Maurney, and Maeve were there this week. We reminisced about our memories from last summer and still couldn’t believe it’s been one year. Cooper misses you too, without you, he wouldn’t have made it to the sunset deck last summer! One night, Amy, Maeve and I rode our bikes to get ice cream. It was the same route we took to the bar together. I swear, it was as if you were biking next to me again....wait...remind me NEVER to bike to and from a bar again
Thanks to that Rod Stewart impersonator at the bar that night, whenever I hear one of his songs I think of you. I can’t seem to shake Rod’s gold suit shimmying on stage. Thanks for giving me advice that night, I’ll never forget it. I’m missing your brother-like advice now more than ever. Keep shining down on us, Max! I love you and miss you so much
Love, your Cuz

Thinking of Max today and everyone who's life he touched. Enjoying the minute details and moments from each day as his positive easy-going energy is still with us. I imagine he's sitting Indian style with one of his crazy seen-on-tv green smoothie concoctions he'd make many mornings, watching over us with his signature smile that came so naturally to him and everyone when in his company.

Sending so much love, hugs, and prayers to everyone today. Lately, I have been reliving memories of Max, specifically our summers. The littlest things remind me of him. It makes me cry knowing there won’t be anymore but also makes me smile because of the great times we did have. I miss him insanely. It’s been a wild year and I know I’m not alone in my feelings. Shoutout to all the wonderful people who got to experience the joy that was Max. We all lost an amazing person last year, may we never forget him.
•
I miss you so much friend, it hurts. Keep resting in peace. ILY

We think of max all the time - thank you Jim for your thoughts on life , love , continuing to live and learn. As always love to you, Jan and Brett.

As the days go on from Max's passing, it makes me realize how much I truly miss having him around. From the trips up to NYC to let loose and have fun, to the talks and endless knee hockey games we played in our friend Pic’s basement for years is just the tip of the iceberg. We enjoyed life any way possible and that’s what made our relationship special. I know Max lived everyday to the fullest always telling me about new adventures he’d been experiencing in the city or traveling around the world. We were always bouncing ideas off each other for things to do. I think the meaning of life can be interpreted many ways but Max and I looked at it the same, live it up and enjoy the ride. We were big proponents of experiencing everything you want once, never back down from a challenge, especially if it’s one of your buddies calling you out, and make the most of any situation. I can only imagine how Max would be dealing with the virus and quarantining. I know he’d have cabin fever like all of us but I also know he’d be looking on the bright side and making light-hearted puns to get through it. I take that same mindset into everyday life and I think that’s why Max and I got along so well without even trying. I miss having my partner in crime around but I am soooo thankful for the time I spent with him. Will never forget you my dude.

We never knew Max and until recently, never knew you or Janet either. Just by chance, you decided to move into our Florida neighborhood and we met. So very thankful we did!

Thank you for inviting us to visit the memorial page for Max. In reading the comments and stories it is apparent Max lived a full life and was very much loved by all who knew him. I can’t imagine the constant pain you both endure every day. Please accept our deepest and heartfelt sympathies.

In response to your post these are my (Cathe’s) “Thoughts on the Meaning of Life”.

Doug says, “the meaning is all in our head.” It is personal for each. I agree!
I believe people enter and exit our lives for a specific reason. So do our pets.
Each brings us something we didn’t realize we needed and in turn, takes something we didn’t know we had to give.
Our lives are enriched and we are educated by each other’s presence.
Life leads us to places we never imagined we needed to be, but years later, it becomes clear why we were there.
Life gives us choices. Lots of choices.
We are born, we live, we laugh, we cry. We share our experiences, our lives, our hearts, our world and our love. We search internally and externally for peace and true happiness. Then one day we die. Why?
Perhaps there was nothing left for us to do in this life. We helped those we were meant to help along the way as they also helped us.
Perhaps it was just time to enter into another life, or for our old spirit to to be reborn to once again help others find their way.
Perhaps in death we simply teach others how to live.
So what truly is the meaning of life? Why are we here? What is our purpose?
For me, it is simple.
  To love and to be loved! 
  Everything else along the way is 
  just that.........

I’ve been thinking of Max and his grieving family a lot these many days surrounding Christmas. I know this is a tough time to get through, so I hope Brett’s presence Is easing some of your pain. Know that I am just one of the many friends who have you in their hearts and thoughts. ❤️

On our first Christmas without you Max - we wanted you to know that we miss you terribly and that you will always be with us. You were a big fan of Xmas - and we miss your smiling face... that Santa hat you wore each and every year....and your very thoughtful gifts. It’s not the same without you buddy. You are always in our thoughts.

All our love - Mom, Dad, Brett and Maddie.

Dear Janet and Jim:
Today on Max’s Birthday and every day we keep you in our heart and prayers. We hope your wonderful memories of Max warm your heart and give you comfort today . Max’s example of being present and living in the moment with purpose resonates with all who were touched by his life.
Sending you love and thanks too for sharing such a special gift with the world - your wonderful son❤️ Melanie loved her gift too.
Love,
Mary Beth & Ken Johnsen

Thinking of your family and Max often, but especially today on his birthday.

At our first apartment in the East Village, we used to celebrate each others birthdays with "family dinners" at Dallas BBQ on St. Marks. What started as a bad joke became a celebrated mini tradition. The ambiance left more to be desired, the food was mediocre, but the company made up for both.

Hope he's watching over us and enjoying his big day with a smile, baby back ribs, a personal blooming onion and Texas-sized frozen margarita. 

Dear Jim, Janet and Brett,
I think of you and pray for each of you and Max often. I'm especially thinking of you today on Max's birthday. While I am sure like most days, there is still the shock that this is even a reality. For that heartache and tragedy, I'll forever keep you in my thoughts and prayers. With today's being Max's Birthday, I'm sure there is an especially deep void. That said, I hope there is some small comfort in knowing that, for me, someone who has never had the pleasure of meeting Max, is actually thinking of him today as I do on many days since I learned of his passing. In fact, I've kept Max's mass card because the I found the story of his life so touching and his spirit so vibrant that it spoke to me. The message of being in the present, cherishing each and every moment and living it fully is a gift bestowed by someone I never actually met but someone I'll hold close and learn from. With love, Russell

Leading up to Max’s birthday, I had dinner with Jim & Janet a few weeks ago. We caught up on life and kept his spirit with us. As if they couldn’t get any sweeter or more caring, they gave me a replica of Max’s “Enjoy the Ride” sign. It’s now my daily reminder to live every day fully, as he did. Today is a day I surround myself with love ones to help me feel a little less blue. I was driving through a rainstorm which ended in a beautiful sunset today, which felt fitting for Max’s day. I feel like he was smiling down.

To my birthday boy:
Accepting that you’re gone is still a bitter pill that I swallow every day. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of you. I miss your smile, your eyes, and just being with you. If you were here today, I’m thinking of how much I would want to spoil you because you’re so deserving of it. Hope you saw the balloons I released to you today. Happy Birthday Max ❤️

I always teased you about being older, but I guess the joke’s on me now. Missing you so much today, this week, this month because it’s birthday time and you aren’t here to celebrate. Some of our best memories involve our birthdays! Thank you for celebrating with me over so many years. I couldn’t ask for a better birthday buddy. Hope you’re partying it up in Heaven (of course you are). Happy Birthday friend. I love and miss you so much 

Happy birthday dear Max!!! Watch over mom and dad and be in peace!!!! You are and will always be missed so you will never be gone in everyone’s hearts and minds!!!

Jim, Janet, Brett,

Thinking of you today and always as you celebrate Max's birthday with close friends. Find comfort in being together and let in a little bit of joy in remembering Max's well-lived life and how he touched and impacted so many people in extrodinary ways.

With love, Lori, Larry and Ali

What an uplifting idea. How wonderful that Janet, Jim and Max’s close friends are sharing this special day together.

My daughter Katie recently shared this picture from our niece Taryn's wedding. Like in most of Max's pictures, he is smiling. It makes me smile at the memory of that dance with him. He was such an incredibly sweet boy who grew into a wonderful young man.

Happy Birthday in heaven Max. Jim, Janet and Brett, we all share your sorrow and miss him very much.

Much love from Aunt Jeannie and Uncle John

I’m thinking of my Uncle Jimmy, Aunt Janet and cousin Brett today. I know Max is watching over us all, especially on his birthday.

I couldn’t help but smile as I drove to one of my grad school classes the other day. While sitting in traffic on the thruway, my mind racing with a thousand thoughts of tasks I needed to accomplish and deadlines I needed to meet, my eyes instantly fell on the most BEAUTIFUL sunset I’ve ever seen. Being in traffic, the cars around me also stared in awe and people began taking photos. My stress immediately dissolved and I smiled, knowing that the sunset I was looking at was Max smiling down on me from heaven and telling me to stop stressing!

I can feel Max’s presence now more than ever and as we head into the holiday season, I know he will continue to share more beautiful sunsets with us all. I can’t wait to spend Thanksgiving with Uncle Jimmy, Aunt Janet and Brett. Happy birthday, Cuz! I’ll crack open a White Claw for you today ❤️

This time of year was always special for Max and I. Our birthdays were only weeks apart which became more and more fun to celebrate as we grew older. Once we graduated college, we decided to turn our birthdays into destination trips. We always wanted to escape to a warm weather place and started with staying in Santa Monica, CA for a few days. Aside from staying on the beach for hours, we visited friends and made new ones wherever we went. I think that first trip our there really inspired our west coast trip this past summer. Last year, we broke the warm weather streak quickly and visited our buddies in Denver. We enjoyed hiking, skiing, and our first experience on the scooters. I know Max would have another destination picked our for us but I think he would give that up one year to celebrate with his family and friends. I am really looking forward to doing that this year and making it as special as the last countless years have been. 

Happy Birthday my dude!!

Max is on my mind most every day - his picture is on my refrigerator so Brian and I speak of him, of Brett, of Jimmy and Janet so often. 
I have other pictures of him with my kids and those pictures and memories always make me smile. Mostly I am still so sad - allowing myself to sometimes get lost in the sadness always with Jim, Janet and Brett as my next thought. I have a few very dear friends who have suffered the loss of a child and unbelievably have met a few more in the last few months. With my close friends who have had this loss, I go to them for comfort sometimes to ask them to remind me how they carried on. Their strength, their positive thoughts that they send to all of us, and the knowledge that they have been able to find a full life, never forgetting their dear one or diminishing the love they feel, has been a comfort. As Max's birthday nears I know that each occasion such as a birthday is so hard - and very particularly the first, but I also take comfort in the all the people that have been touched by Max and continue to reach out to his family to help ease the burden. I love the idea of his buddies being their with Jim and Janet to cook dinner and remember Max on his birthday. Something tells me Max would be pretty happy about all that conversation that will be happening all about him that evening. Sending love to all as we think of Max on his birthday. Love Aunt Patty and Uncle Brian

As Max’s birthday nears, I am reminded of how much we all love and miss him. It still doesn’t feel real sometimes, as strange as that may sound.  I think of him so often… no matter where I am.  I have one of his favorite songs on my playlist and it makes me happy when I hear it, because when I think of him…I want to remember his beautiful smiling face and amazing spirit!   

I also think a lot about Brett, Jim and Janet, and wish there was a way I could ease their sorrow just a little bit as they approach this difficult holiday season and beyond.  I just want them to know, that I love them all very much, and I am here for all of you. Happy Birthday Max, my sweet nephew.
Love, Aunt Maurny

Janet, Jim and Brett, I feel like I have gotten to know Max through these beautiful photos, videos and stories. (My favorite video is Max dancing in the pizza shop.) Like all your friends and family members, I have no words to express my deep sympathy for your loss. I will see you at the celebration of Max’s life and I’m always here to support you in any way. Love, Susan

Max was a good friend and apartment-mate to our son. Our thoughts and prayers have been with you and will continue. Our deepest sympathy to you.
Sue and Dan Mangold

Jim,

My heart goes out to you and your family. I did not know Max but the times that you spoke about him were with love. God bless you all!
- Josh and Prizer Family

 We first met Max over 25 years ago when we became neighbors and friends. He was an adorable child with a loving personality and a big smile. We always remember Max as a playful inquisitive, happy child, who loved playing basketball in his driveway.
 Max grew up to be a wonderful and accomplished young man who made his parents and family so proud of him. We can remember spending time with Max as he shared his future plans and goals; he was so excited about his career choice and living in NYC. His handsome face and bright outlook on life forever remains in our memories..
 Our hearts are filled with deep sorrow and wish Janet, Jim and Brett peace and comfort in this incredibly difficult time. May our friendship, sympathy and heart filled condolences bring you some comfort.
Love,
Gail and Bob Baragona

Janet, Jim and Brett~

Our family wants to extend our deepest sympathy in the loss of your wonderful son and brother Max. There will never be any words to ever express this tragic loss. Although we missed out on the opportunity to formally meet Max, we know how much he radiated such life, spirit and love through all the memories Melanie (and you both) have shared over these past months and recent days. We can only imagine how special it was to have Max these past 27 years -seeing our daughter so happy these past months only confirms the amazing individual Max truly was. We are praying Max can give you strength from above and that you heal with your wonderful memories to carry forward in the spirit in which he lived each day. We can never thank you enough for all your kindness and support of Melanie. It truly means so much and just shows what loving parents you both are. You raised a really wonderful son. We will remember Max always in our hearts.

With our deepest sympathy and love,
Mary Beth & Ken Johnsen and Family

I remember seeing at a young boy who looked like an angel with a smile that made you feel good. Over the years, we were updated by his parents as to his progress in high school, college and in the work environment. It was apparent that he brought that same smile and attitude which made everybody feel good. He will be missed and remembered. Larry and Linda Belford

My deepest condolences to Max's family. I met Max when he joined the Content Services team at Refinitiv. I enjoyed meeting with him regularly and appreciated his desire to learn and grow in his new role. After I left Refinitiv, he reached out to me to see how I was doing and he was looking forward to meeting up and having lunch together. I am saddened that we never had that opportunity but I will always remember him for the smart, kind and very nice person he was to all.

May his memory be eternal!

We are the parents of one of the „triple-Max“ and would like to express our heartfelt condolences.
We have been deeply hurt by the death of Max. Words seem inadequate to express the sadness we feel about your loss, although we did not have the chance to meet him.
Our thoughts are with you and we wish you much strength in this difficult and sad time.
Bettina & Thorsten

So, so sorry for your loss. Didn’t have the pleasure to know Max well but can see how much he meant to so many. RIP; sending all my love.

Our prayers go out to Max's family and friends. Max will always have a place in everyone's heart.

Don and Tammy

With a heavy heart I send love and prayers to Rope, Jim and Brett. I knew Max through the loving stories his Mom told me during our chats.  She was so proud of him and all of his accomplishments. 
Prayers for peace,
Hoff