Birthday Memories
This picture was taken 34 years ago, today.
This is my first birthday without you, mom; first birthday without hearing your wishes and sweet voice. For 38 year, you always found a way to talk to me on this day, no matter how far we were apart. I wish you could still do that. I just have to hear you in my dreams. 39 years ago you gave birth to me and you started the long and hard road of selflessly raising me. They say one can’t choose his family, but I’m very glad and proud that God gave me to you; I wouldn’t change that. Now, I just pray He takes care of you and looks after you like you did for me. Your job of raising me is over but I wasn’t ready.
Love you and miss you, always!
Fond memories
One of my earliest fond memories of my mom is when she used to dress me up for school, in Riyadh, during the winter. She used to layer my clothing so I’d wear a long sleeve undershirt, an itchy wool turtleneck, and then the traditional Saudi male dress (‘Thobe’). In order to make sure the long sleeve layers didn't bunch up, she used to reach her hand all the way up my arms to pull them down to my wrests. In doing so, she used to tickle my arms and my body would fidget uncontrollably. I think she did it on purpose.
Live life
This photo was taken in June 2010, days before mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Two months later, she underwent a complex surgery to remove most of her pancreas. She was strong. She beat the odds and pulled through, as she did in 1992, when she fought and beat breast cancer. She always possessed a strong attitude and a determination to live life to its fullest.
Throughout 2010 and 2011, she continued to face challenges head on as she underwent a long post operation recovery, various types of chemotherapy, side effects, blood clots, tests, broken hip replacement surgery, physical therapy, and cancer metastasis to the liver. Her survivor mentality never wavered as her body seemed to be out of step with her mind. To the end, she continued to fight and had received positive news her cancer was under control. She made future plans to travel and regain her normal life. To her, cancer was only a temporary inconvenience. Alas though, a side-effect stroke claimed her future on January 19, 2012.
Mom, you suffered so much in this life; a suffering beyond comprehension. I pray to God to give you peace and happiness in the next.
Love You!
Poem
I Never Saw Your Wings - by Michele (last name unknown)
and you will always be my angel eternal.
Some of us have a tough start and tough end, that was May. But she was always positive, pro-active, practical. Back when Amine was a young man of 16 May wanted to place him in boarding school here in Virginia. She and I tried to help Amine with a practice standardized test such as he might have taken for entrance. Amine was not too willing to try, so, of course, May said, '"I can do it it, why can't you?" And she picks up one of the exams and does it. Amine watches, astonished, then slowly figured out Mom had a 'can-do' outlook on life, he should at least try. She wanted her kids to have what she had not had, and putting him in a better school would be part of that. He would try.
Next day I went to pick up May and Amine to drive to St. James School. She was dressed in a blue suit, white demure blouse, hat, white gloves......the perfect well-dressed conservative woman. And Amine in blue blazer and white shirt. [As the pictures Amine has here you can see all her facets- but he missd that one.]
We arrive at St. James School, Amine loves the campus and May is the perfect parent at the interview. She had a knack for surprising me, I have known her for 47 years and there were often little surprises to keep you friends. Of course Amine is accepted, and May plays her part.
I am sure Mom is proud of you, Amine, Ghada and Joumana. We all miss her, there is an empty space which she occupied, but not really empty. All the memories we all have are strong, she occupies that space with her memories. I am sorry though that it is only a memory.
God bless her.