My darling Missy, we are a week and one day away from Christmas. It will be a sad Christmas without you. We did get one Christmas miracle this year, Leela and Joshua are going to be adopted by a family in Cottonwood Mn and will be able to be involved with our family. Debra will have to come here to visit and has to be supervised. Joshs' parental rights were taken away in October so he can have no contact. :-) Oh Happy Day !!! There was a candle lighting worldwide for everyone that has someone in heaven this holiday season on December 14 2014. I participated at The Compassionate Friends grief support group that I go to. Remember that light up angel I gave mom and then I got it back, well I turn it on every night to honor you and mom and others who have passed over. I miss you more everyday even though it's supposed to get easier as time passes or so they say. I am not sure that it will get easier for me like they say, it sure is not feeling like that to me.I think of you every day and there isn't a phone line to heaven but I think and /or talk to you everyday..I ask you to let mom know that I love and Miss her too. I know there will come a day that we will be together again and I am trying to be patient and do Gods work here but sometimes it gets so hard darlin'. As always baby girl I love and Miss you bunches. Love, your Mom !!!!!?

My dearest Missy, Christmas is just over 3 wks away. I can't believe this year has gone by so fast. This Christmas will be difficult as I was remembering the past few Christmases with you at dads. I still have the peace pillows you made for me. I have the coffee cup you gave me and the footprints plaque. I didn't really give those things a second thought until after you passed away. I have the Elephant necklace you gave me for my 54th birthday and the box you put it in. These things mean so much to me little girl and am so thankful to have them. I know you will be with me in spirit but it's just not the same. I think of you always and you are always with me in my heart and my thoughts. I love you Missy Marie. As always, love mom !!!!

My dearest Missy, with Thanksgiving tomorrow, I am sorry I never came to share Thanksgiving with you. I am so ashamed and wish that I would have come to be Thankful for you, Leela, and Joshua. I will always be thankful for you and the kids, just sorry I never came to celebrate with you.Please forgive me my sweet Missy. As Always, love Mom

I wish you werestill with us missy its been almost a year since i last saw you ... it sucks ... badly thanksgiving is gonna be hard for me this year

Missy I love and Miss u daily. I'm sorry I didn't get to come back to see u and I'm sorry I couldn't face my heart achieve when I lost u. U where my bff they one cousin I could relate to and u never judged me . I love u missy

Sissy, I love you❤️

My Missy Marie I got through the anniversary of mom's death, kinda. Tomorrow is the 85th celebration of moms life. I did watch both the dvds of yours and moms life. It is still difficult to watch moms and yours is very difficult since your death isn't real in my heart yet. I talk to you every night and cry while doing it but that helps me heal or so I'm told. Can't believe you have been gone 8 months already but in the same sense not dead just gone. I guess when you're a parent and lose a child especially your first-born, it never really seems real, for me anyway. I don't think I told you about getting a call from the South Dakota eye and tissue bank on your birthday. After talking to them they ask if I would speak at their next donor luncheon.I felt honored that they ask me to speak.. I plan on doing that at least right now. I guess it's easier to write some things than to speak them. We had that commonality in life, surprising how things like that seem to take on a different meaning after you you lose a loved one in death. Well Miss I Love and Miss you alot and most days, wish I had you here with me again. I know we will be together again but until then, the ache in my heart will remain, along with the void which can never be filled. God Bless you my Angel,
Love, Mom

My Missy Marie, it has been a little over a week since your 35 bithday. It was extremely difficult due to the fact t I couldn't have Leela & Joshua for your birthday which was the plan, til some people said I was Mentally Unbalanced. Whatever; it is their issue not mine. I called
New Horizons last Friday to try to set up an appt and to see if they were going to charge me to see the kids. No one called me back so couldn't see the kids :-(  Oh well what do you do, right? ????? I know you understand but soooooo wish you were here. If you were here wouldn't be havin' to deal with this crap. I also know you never thought it would become such a cluster-fuck after you died. Kinda like when mom died. The anniversary of her death is 3 days away and that's going to be tough too. I know you and mom will be with me in spirit, comforting me as only you could. Please give mom a hug and kiss, love & miss you both very much!!!!!!!!!! Love, mom

Happy Birthday Missy, My special angel I miss you and will never forget you....I know there are times when you are here with me...I still have trouble believing that you are gone, I love you! Mom Barbara

Happy Heavenly Birthday Missy!

Happy 35th birthday Missy Marie!!!!!!! It is your birthday today and I am missing you so much. I won't have the kids today because some people think I am not stable enough to handle it. Its B.S. but gotta do what they tell ya. Phhhhht !!!! I am going to visit your grave and leave Halloween decorations to celebrate your life. I know you are looking down on all of us and and celebrating right along with us. This year and for years to come you will be my angel on Halloween!!!!! So Happy Birthday and Happy Halloween my Angel !!!!!, love Mom

My Melissa Marie, your birthday is 6 days away. I can't believe that 7 months has gone so fast since you died. It still is so wrong in my mind even tho I know the Lord had his reasons for taking you home. I believe part of the reason was to end your pain and suffering. I did not want you in any more PAIN of that I am certain. I often wonder how things would have been if we had done the transplant. I try and understand how you must have felt facing that. I will never know for sure but it must have scared the shit out of you. I know you are with mom and all others that have died and so I do have a feeling of peace knowing that. I also know my life will never be the same. I love and miss you every day. I love you my angel and we will be together again some day. Love, your Mom

Well baby been here a month now lol you know our luck nothing ever is what you think it will be I think of you everyday and wish for you I love you baby

My Missy Marie, as your birthday gets closer, I seem to get further away from accepting your death. I love and Miss you so very much. I still want to call you all the time. I miss your voice and your wisecracks, you could make me laugh when no one else could. It seemed like you just knew when I was having a shitty day and most always asked what was wrong? If I wasn't always forth coming you would back off for awhile and then ask me again. I could tell you everything and at times it was like our roles were reversed. People would say that wasn't healthy or the way mother/daughter relationships should be. We broke that mold and fortunately it worked for us. I know that for most people that wouldn't work. We had a unique relationship, we didn't always see eye to eye but we made it work reguardless. I loved the relationship we had and maybe that's why your death is so hard for me to accept. I hope it gets easier but I will never ever forget you my little goblin. R.I.P.
Love Mom

Missy I am missing you tonight wish I could call and talk to you...I hope you are happy...I look at your pictures and I know one thing I will miss you the Rest of my days on earth...I am going to make an effort and see your Mom don't right now when but I am going to try. I love you My Missy.....

My dear Missy, I put the remainder of your ashes in "grandma ellens'" lake on Oct 10th 2014. It was 4 yrs to the day that moms ashes were layed to rest in Lake Alice. I thought it was fitting since you and mom were so close.I hope you are truely at peace now that it is done. I miss you soooo very much darlin', the closer your birthday gets the harder it seems to accept your death. I have never felt such pain, it is an indescribable emptiness and sorrow I can't explain. The lord is with me though and with his help the pain will lessen in time. God bless you baby girl, love and miss you !!!! Love, mom

My Missy Marie, I miss you sooooo much I can't describe it in words, it is just what I feel 24/7. You made such an impact on my heart & soul. I will put your ashes with Grandma Ellens on Oct 10 2014. It will be 4 yrs on the 10th hoping to be at peace after doing that. Love you my Missy Marie- RIP baby girl, luv u, mom.

I miss you! You all ways ended our conversations with I love you Mom,I wish I could hear you say that one more time.

I will always remember Missy in my heart and soul. She had also supported me as well with Laurie's concerns. Miss you!
Your Auntie Margie!

My Sweet Missy, I think of you every time I see a Butterfly,I miss our talks I will never forget you.Love you Mom Barbara

My Missy Marie, last Thursday marked 6 months since your death and I still can't or won't accept the fact. It still seems I am in a surreal world and I'm waiting and trying to wake up from a terrible dream. Halloween is about 6 weeks away and I am dreading the day and also remember the day, 35 yrs ago when you arrived and forever changed my life as I knew it. You were my first born and quite a handful from the start, I wouldn't change anything. People may read this and wonder how I could make such statement. Well just as you wrote in your "thankful" letter I wouldn't be the person I am now if I hadn't gone through the trials and tribulations that I did. Granted there were things that were self inflicted but I SURVIVED and that in and of itself showed me and others how strong I could be and continue to be ( most days) for the rest of my life. My faith in our Lord Jesus Christ was renewed in 2008. In 2010 I was given another way to serve the Lord and appreciate that every day. If my faith in God hadn't been renewed I don't want to think where I may have ended up. Thank you God for giving me my Missy Marie, and Missy Marie thank you for showing me things I needed to know to raise you and your siblings. I love you now and forever and we will be together again some day My precious angel.
Love, your Mom

ok babe am going today to go see sissy am hoping that just once things can go good i love you darlin and i know you're with me

well baby here we go again sure wish you were coming with me am gonna go see sissy and try to i dunno be a person again i love you honey wish me luck

Little one i love you life is hard without you i hope you are carefree and happy its all i ever wanted for us

My Missy Marie, I still have a hard time believing you are truly gone. Nothing seems to make it real for me. Your death will always leave an empty place in my heart & my life. I buried some of your ashes in Lynd cemetary so Leela and Joshua have a place to grieve for you. I hope that gives them closure in the years to come.I will always love you Missy and we will see each other again some day. Love your, Mom