This is the 1st Birthday of yours that I wont be able to hug you and tell you Happy Birthday... Fathers Day just passed and I honestly tried to just forget that it was Fathers Day, because I wasnt able to spend it with you... Every single day that goes by, I constantly think about you. I hope that one day, it will get a little bit easier without you, but I dont see that happening, unfortunately. Every day is a struggle without you and Mema! I know that the two of you are watching over me and my family! I love and miss you both so so so much!
It hasnt even been 3 whole months since you left me, and time DOES NOT heal all wounds... I think about you probably 20 times a day... the other night, I picked up the phone and scrolled to your name in my contacts and I was going to call just to see if I could hear your voice on the voicemail... but then I remembered, you never set one up. But then I listened to a couple tapes (from one of your tape recorders) and I felt a nice relieving feeling being able to hear you talk again.
Daddy, I am going through some of your stuff today and organizing it around my house so that everywhere I turn, you are with me. You would really like what I have done so far. I miss you so much everyday and still sometimes I pick up the phone to call you and then I you're not going to answer. Life without you and Mema is definitely not the life I was hoping to live. But, on a different note... A more positive one... You're granddaughters Desiree and Haylee are doing amazing. Both are growing way too fast though. I hope you and mema are watching over me and my little family. You guys would be so proud. The girls really like to watch this DVD of "short video clips" of themselves and with family, and you are in several of them. My heart melts and tears run down my face... EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. You were not supposed to leave me like that... that fast. I miss you more than you could ever even imagine! There are some days where I dont do anything but look at pictures and write in a notebook. I'm honestly not sure this broken heart will ever heal, because NOBODY can even compare to the Father/ Daughter bond that we had. I love you so much! Go style and profile them Angel's coming through the gates for me! XOXO
Daddy, we've been cleaning out your house, and I now have some of your Harley Davidson and Tarheel shirts and all your hats. I've got your thick, black Harley coat. Wish it fit me, lol. I have you in my living room,and the keepsake with you in my room and your glass thumb print charm hanging on a chain on my rear view mirror. You're with me in my house, my car and in my heart... Every minute of everyday. I miss you so much. P.S. don't laugh, but I've been watchi mg a little Ancient Aliens. If you were here, you would definitely be my commentary on that show. Lol B.B.
Daddy, I know you're up in Heaven riding around on a beautiful Harley and you're with your Mom and Dad. I know you've got Broderick, Mike and JD glued to your side. They all loved you so much. Say hello to everyone for me until I can say hello for myself (itll be a long time though. I've got two kids and a husband to raise... yeah I figured you'd smirk at that)... But I need one last thing from you... Please just give me a sign... any kind of sign... that you're ok. That youre not hurting anymore. That youre actually at peace and have some PEACE and QUIET. Please Daddy, do this for me and I will be able to have some sort of closure with this. Saying good bye to you was by far, the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I love you so much. I promise, when I go to Vegas again (which I will) I'm taking my keepsake with you in it... it was on my bucket list since I was a kid, to go to Vegas with the Vegas master himself. Just give me a sign..........
I miss you each and every day you're not with me or on the phone with me. Even though you didnt say a whole lot, we could just have some small talk and I would be happy. Today was hard for me when your official death certificate came in and you were cremated this morning. It broke my heart to hear the news... HOWEVER, and you're gonna like this... Robert and I bought the perfect keepsake for you to always be in our home as well as in our hearts. It's a black Harley Davidson... chromed out, detailed and a FAT BOY! If its able to be painted, I'll paint it carolina blue like the Harley you ride me around on. I sure will miss those days!
My daddy was my best friend. I could talk to him about anything and everything. First I lost Mema who was my #1 confidant and then, very unexpectedly I lost my dad... I hate the fact that he wont watch my kids grow up, however I know he loved Desiree and Haylee so much. My dad was a man of "not so many words"... but the things he would say and the gestures he would make would show me how much he loved me. I will forever miss you Daddy.
-Brooke Byrd-Young (not quite ready to give up your name!) I <3 U!
