Hi Baby,

Since you were often about tough love, I have some of my own to get out of the way too.

Firstly, I can't believe that you continued to be fashionably late even after leaving me along in Porto! Your parents and I waited for you for 8 days but you didn't show up till we were safely back in the U.S. When I told your parents how you arrived more than 40 minutes late to a couple of our early dinner dates, they looked at me in disbelief and asked me with straight faces "What on earth did you see in that guy?" Not a good endorsement I'd say!

Secondly, you do know that I live directly on a river bank right?

Lastly, how dare you wiggle your way out of buying me a fabulous gift for my big milestone birthday??!

Needless to say, we will have quite a few scores to settle once I see you again!

I don't really know where to begin about the things I love and admire about you but amongst the many things that make up that list are how you truly lived a purposeful and meaningful life, defying the urge to be comfortable and just go through the motions like most do. Your insatiable appetite for learning and expanding your mind was truly outstanding - whether it was learning languages or taking Latin dance classes or poring over human anatomy and behavioral texts. I loved your hunger for immersive experiences no matter where you or we went - well I have mixed feelings about that now - I wish you had been happy with exploring the world's fanciest McD that just happens to be in Porto rather than wanting to mimic local fishermen's kids who jump into the Douro for fun. I joke - I wouldn't have been with you if you were into the former and I'm trying to find some solace knowing that you died the way you lived - making every moment count, seeking thrills from new experiences and in one of the most beautiful cities we've both visited. Some people called you classy and you lived up to that in the end with your choice of places to breathe your last. Above all though, what struck me the most about you was that you are one of the most gentle and kind people I have ever met. You cared deeply and genuinely for your family, friends and team in a way that I haven't witnessed a whole lot in my life - going to great lengths to do little and big things for them. You gave everyone the benefit of doubt because you believed there was good in everyone.

So, I am really going to miss you like I have not missed another!

I'll miss  

Our conversations about literally any topic under the sun: body alignment(relating to your dream of being a PT), sustainability, biases, and even end of life plans

Our love for nature, gardens and a myriad of outdoor activities

Our love for travel and experiences over material possessions 

I'll miss

Your karaoke performances

Your super quick wit and humor

Your imitations of others including of my accent

The way you tied your shoe laces down on one knee and the ensuing confusion or alarm as the thought "is he asking me to marry him already?!" raced through my mind

Your unusual compliments that made me laugh instead of blush - I mean it's definitely not everyday that I am told I have very "impressive" eyes,  "a nice shape", and that I'm funny despite being a girl 

But most importantly, Michael, I'll miss

Your unwavering sympathy, understating and support for me when I was going through really hard times in life

Your willingness to put yourself on the line to help me

Your genuine interest and curiosity about me - from littlest of things I like or dislike to what truly drives me as a person

The way you always held my hand everywhere we went

The way you held my face when you kissed me

The way you heart beat in my ear when you held me close

So yes, I will miss you terribly, mourn the life together that we dreamt about and planned but have been robbed off, and will always wish there was more that I could've done to save your dear life.

Since the night of Sept 7th, my dear and wise cousin has been repeating this mantra to me --> cry, pick yourself up and keep walking, because every day gets you closer to being with Michael. I can't wait to see you again my love. Be good till then and try to stay out of trouble on the other side!

Rachelle

Michael and I had this amazing trip to Europe planned before he started his new job in late September. After some back and forth, we decided on Portugal, but then there was debate on which cities to visit because I am a greedy traveler who wanted to see as many cities as possible in 10 days. Michael, the ever calm, practical and pretty assertive (when he wants to be) person that he is, gently tamed my wild side and we agreed to spend a few days in Porto and a week in Lisbon. After that we were to join his mum Ellen and aunt Donna in Greece for 8 days. We were giddy with excitement – our first international trip together!

While it wasn’t in Michael’s, Ellen’s, Donna’s and my fate to do all that we’d planned, Michael’s final few days were filled with laughter, love, new experiences and lots of natural beauty. And I am incredibly fortunate to have been there with him.

It's quite hard to find a travel companion who shares the same priorities and interests as one does, or who is willing to accommodate others. We are both worldly, know what we like and have enjoyed solo travel in the past, so I was a bit apprehensive about what lay ahead. I am happy to report that it’s literally never been easier for me than to be on this trip with Michael. I offered to be flexible with my vegetarian diet and in turn, he offered to be flexible with his sleep hours (!!) and strict keto diet. I found that we loved a lot of the same things, most important of which was living like locals do. This meant eating at tiny, nondescript places, riding the bus or tram instead of using Uber and not worrying that our Airbnb didn’t have air-conditioning!

We spent two and a half lovely days in Porto, walking and getting lost in her narrow, hilly and cobble stoned streets, taking one incredibly boring and one interesting walking tour, taking a fun boat tour on the D’ouro, freezing on a windy beach, admiring Porto’s crumbling, charming and beautiful tiled buildings, eating delicious food and drinking lots of amazing wine.

September 7, 2017 rolled around with us hungry and unable to find a single restaurant that was either open or still serving food at midnight – we had lost track of time while enjoying glasses of Port at a riverside wine bar and chatting away under a gorgeous full moon. Like scavengers, we roamed the streets and finally found a small place that was open. We begged the owner to give us anything he had and so he brought us a random mish mash of little tapas for the next hour and a bottle of Portuguese green wine that we drank out of bowls as the locals from that region would. It was the best meal ever! Walking down Porto’s steep and hilly streets is not recommended when one is tipsy…but we made it back ok. After sleeping for a few hours, we embarked on an adventurous day.

While a tiny bit hungover, we thought that climbing over 250 steps to the top of Torre dos Clérigos, Porto’s tallest Church tower, would be a good idea! We were glad we did because the views of this old city and its gleaming river were bar none. We took our time at the top, admiring our view, taking lots of photos and spending an inordinate time trying to identify our Airbnb in the labyrinth of streets that make up old Porto. We’d learned that in old times, if a girl wanted to marry someone other than her father’s chosen mate, she had to be cloistered for two years, served food through a slit in the door and if she emerged with the same desire AND the guy was still around (what?!), they could marry freely. So, atop Clérigos, I joked that in this age of feminism, perhaps Michael should be cloistered, if for no other reason than his infrequent eating which would make this a better arrangement for both of us! We then ate a healthy meal near the Church while doodling on our placemats, took at long walk through town and over the Dom Luis I bridge, rode a cable car down to the town of Gaia and did a fabulous Port wine tasting there. As we sat on the south bank of the D’ouro and also while crossing the river on a boat back to Porto, we took in the beautiful town before us and remarked how it could be a nice place to retire in – so full of character, warm and welcoming locals, great food and wine, mild climate and above all, on the water.  Michael told me he loved Porto a great deal and was so glad to be there. I suggested we head back and pack for our train ride to Lisbon the next morning, but for once, Michael was the greedy tourist, wanting to eke out one last bit of local adventure by jumping into the D’ouro from Dom Luiz I. As I held his face in my hands, kissing him and telling him to come back to me safely, I didn’t know Michael took our retirement chat so much to heart, for he walked away from me, onto the bridge, over the side, waved to me excitedly and jumped perfectly into the water at 19:18 GMT, never to return.

Michael died doing something he loved and living life to the absolute fullest. He chose a stunning place to come to rest in and spent one of the happiest days of his life before leaving us. Not many of us will be that lucky.

I will always love you Michael, and miss you every day for the rest of my life.