Just wanted to wish you a very Merry Christmas my brother, I love and miss you so very much. xoxo 

I am not sure why they call it an anniversary, sure does not feel like a celebration. I miss you still and always will. I can't believe how long it has been. I hope you are taking care of Mum, can you believe I am still the black sheep of the family? The white sheep are not as white as they think they are, you know that though already. 

I want you to know that you will be on my mind all day, not that I don't think of you everyday but moreso today Michael. Going out for a bit, it will be nice to get out of the house and get a break from the monster Larry lol He has been barking at us and keeping us up at night, he is worse than a baby. 

Well my brother, I love love love you, never forget that, your kid sister, Lauralee xoxoxoxoxo

Hi Bro, I have a very important question to ask of you. I am not doing well down here as you can see, I am sick. So I am asking that you save  a place for me and be there at the golden gates to greet me. Know I love you 5000 miles past heaven and back.......

Thank you Bro, see you soon

Hello My Brother,

So you must have felt yourself being shook up lol. I met this amazing guy who sells pendants and they are urns. I have purchased 3 so far, the last one was a heart that Doug picked up for me. It is the one I love the most and I wear it all the time. Life is pretty good as you know, I am happy and content and love the life I am living now that I am in London. Sometimes you just have to shut the door because no matter how much you try family is still going to talk crap about you. I love you Bro, thinking of you often, miss you alot xoxoxo your kid sister

Hey Michael

 Glad you picked me One hell of a sister you have Sure has helped me in many ways we sure have lots of fun We won't talk about the rough days But she is still on the right side of the grass

Hey my brother,

Life has been good to me, I have reconnected with some old friends, Jo and Gary, my love life is great and thank you again for choosing Paul as a brother, he has helped me in more times that you will ever know, but then again you see all. Rollerskating again, you probably had a good laugh when I fell on my rear end 3 times in a row. Doug and Paul spoiled me for my birthday. I miss you and I love you, never forget that. Give mom a big hug for me and tell her I love her too. I hope you like this picture, yes I still horse around...lol

Your kid sister, xoxoxoxo

Hello my Brother,

I wish I was far out in the water like that today, not another soul in the water around me, allowing me to think. I am missing you and mom so much today, I really could use mom's ear right now. So much was left unsaid that I wish I could have told her before she went back home. It makes me happy to know that you are together once again, you loved mom so very much.

Love you forever Michael, xoxoxoxo Your kid sister

Today is your special day, you are so lucky to be so free. I wish I was by your side to spend it with you. I miss you more than you can possibly know. Life is strange, it can bring you full circe can't it but you must know that already. Doing alot of walking (no choice lol) and thinking about how drastic life can change. I woud do anything to be on the traintracks with you picking GOLD as you would say.

Fly high my brother and know there is not one single day I do not think of you and wish you were here. I Love you Michael, give Mum a hug for me and tell her I love her too. Happy Birthday once again from me and my puppy Larry!!! xoxoxoxoxo

Happy Valentines Day My Brother

herever you are, most likely with Mom, I want to wish you a happy Valentines day!! Sending you big hugs Michael and thank you for watching over me. I dreamt of you the other day and I miss you like crazy. Give Mom a big hug and kiss for me and tell her I love her.

I love you too Bro,

Your kid sister

xoxoxo

Hello Michael,

Today is the third anniversary for you. i. wonxer where you are, what you are up to in heaven or have you reincarnated! Wherever you are, know that i am always thinking of you and that i love and miss you more than you know. xoxo

Your kid sister, Lauralee
 

Hello my brother,

Two years already, God I miss you like crazy. I know and feel you are still around, but I wish we could talk. Life is different know as you see, but I am finally ok with it and I accept it Michael. I did my best and if it wasn't enough, then too bad. The trust is broken and it will never be the same. I like my life now, it's quiet and serene, I even sleep better. Quebec City is a beautiful place!! (you know why) lol I hope you are at peace Michael, and I hope that you continue to watch over me in the future, you know I think of you everyday, when you passed that is when my life changed forever. I would take 10 more hit over the head with the snow shovel if I could hold you for just a minute. Remember I wantd to see you when you passed, I wanted to talk to you about something only you and I knew, I told someone else, trustworthy, as it weighed on my mind. I'm sorry I couldn't take it to the grave with me, but it seemed like it was bound to come out sooner or later. I love you Michael, and I miss you so much it hurts sometimes, but during quiet times it's like you are right  there beside me.
Love your kid sister forever and ever xoxoxoxo
P.S. I made a memory wall for you Michael, hope you like it.

Michael,

Thinking of you today, I won my case in court against the Gov't, I was so happy and it only took 3 days. I was thinking of you this morning, so much has happened, I am now the Official Decorator for the Ottawa Legion (only I have to buy a legion suit and wear a fricken hat) stop laughing Michael! I met all our cousins from the Carriere side that we never knew we had, so many of them. I feel so much happier these days, but busy. The house renovations are starting and the little changes that we made are so nice! Going on a road trip with our cousin soon, can't wait!!
Well my brother, I just wanted to say I miss you today and I love you more than you'll ever know. Save me a spot up there and a coke too, no RC Cola either, LOL

Love your kid sister forever xoxoxoxoxoxo Lauralee

Hello Beautiful,

Thinking of you today, miss you like crazy. So many changes in my life Mike, a 360 degree turn. Found out I was not Bipolar but had BPD from the childhood we had with mom and dad. Now I understand. Everything just fell like domino's for me, reading up on it and talking with my doctor, wow, I see the "WHY" I have it. So I guess you know that the kids have cut me out of their lives, I have a disease so I guess that means bye bye. My doctor asked me if I had cancer if I thought they'd leave, and I said "before I would have said no, but today, I have to say yes". I have alot of people standing with me while I grow through this journey and that it is. School is going so good, I was chosen for the level two classes I'm doing so well. My episodes are down to one hour at max now, it's amazing how controlled I feel. It's like someone just woke me up. You probably had it too, you seem to go crazy when people leave or abandon you too, that is part of what makes us hurt so much. It's when you understand things more clearly that you realize it's not the end of the world. Well my brother, I know you are probably laying around watching Mash again, I watch it alot now too, you were right, Radar is funnier than Clinger! I love you forever, 5000 miles past heaven!!!!!

Your Kid Sister Lauralee
     

Micahel,
sometimes I wonder if this life is worth it. I am bipolar and never asked for it, why me again, but then again why not, you had it too. I am at the end, I can't see my grandbabies Michael and it hurts. They must think I am mean and don't love them but I do with all my heart. I cry alot, I can't understand why my daughters are doinng this. If I had heart disease would they do it too?? I hate this life Michael, tell God I a ready to come home, I am weak and tired. See you soon I hope. I love you Michael,  can't wait to be in your arms!


xoxo

Happy Birthday Michael!!!

I hope they celebrate your birthday in heaven, with everything you could ever want and wish for. Stay at peace, you don't know how lucky you are up there, not having to deal with this place they call earth which I call hell.

I miss you alot, think about you so often. I love you and I hope you have the best birthday ever!!

Love your kid sister, Lauralee xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Michael,

I almost touched your hand, why.....why couldn't you just grab mine and keep me with you? Why send me back here when all I wanted was peace? Why does God get to choose my time? Can't he see my suffering? The pain I am in, my heart is broken in two and will remain that way. I reached and reached for you, but you just stood there with your hand out, but didn't reach back. I was so angry with you for not taking my hand. I begged you, just take it, grab me before I fall back but you just smiled at me, and said nothing.
I love you Michael, I understand that it is not in your hands but in the hands of our creator, when the time comes, I really hope that you do take my hand, and pull me into your arms, and hold me so tight and never ever let me go. Please make that promise to me, as you know I never break a promise, never so it is important to me that if you make that promise you don't break it.

Love you with my broken heart! xoxoxoxo

Hello my brother,


I had a dream about you the other night, we were seperated by a beautiful stream, and you looked so good, so healthy and happy. You did seem very tall though. Heaven must be such a beautiful place. I didn't want to wake up at all, I wanted to stay in that moment forever and ever. We didn't talk, we didn't have to, we just looked at each other. I've been hurt again Michael, and I am so sick and tired of it. Why???? I don't get it. I want to just go far away and never come back, somewhere where nobody knows me at all. I'd live that way until I die. tired of this life, can't wait to see you. Come back into my dreams Michael, I need to feel comforted by you, I know it's not my time, but I can't hold on much longer. I hope I see you soon.
Your kid sister, xoxoxoxo 

Happy New Year my brother! I hope this year is a better one than last, I hope you are still at peace up in Heaven. Sometimes I am so jealous of you, you don't have no worries, nothing to do but relax. I as you know am still out of the family, but I can't go back there Mike, and I know you want me to but it won't happen. I'm done. Does it hurt? yes, of course, but there is not much I can do.

I was lying in bed the other day, and I felt someone get on the bed, I opened my eyes, I thought it was the cat, but there was noone there, I thought of you right away. And today if felt like someone was sitting in the chair staring at me in bed, but again, nobody was there, but I know you were probably sitting there. You are always around me, and I thank you for that, I take great comfort in that. I love and miss you so much,
your kid sister forever, love you 5000 miles past beautiful heaven!! xoxo Lauralee

Merry Christmas Michael,

It's christmas day and again your not here. I miss you and my heart aches, I was talking about you tonight but had to stop as I began to cry as I am while I write this to you. I understand why you had to leave, but it will never take away the hurt I have inside, this void will only be filled when I see you again. I love you, 5000 miles past heaven and back.

Please give a hug to Kevy for me and tell him Merry Christmas, tell him that I will be talking to daddy and that he doesn't have to be alone on Christmas day after all.

Love forever, your kid sister xoxoxoxoxo

Dear Michael,

Please help me to understand the terrible shooting today. So many innocent children died, way ahead of their time, but as we know GOD does have a plan for everyone. But they were children Michael, with lives ahead of them, why?? My heart is broken and weeping for the families left behind. Please hold Kevy God has called them home so very early. 


Soon it will be another year out of the family, what else is knew, not sure what I did but what can I do. I miss you, but you already know and feel that. I just ask that you help God heal the broken hearts of the parents who have just lost everything that meant to them. 


Thank you Michael, I love you more than you know, your kid sister Lauralee xoxoxoxo
      

Hello Michael,

I need you and Kevy to be with Paul tomorrow as he makes his way to the doctors alone. I wish I could be there with him, but distance makes it hard. Please make sure the doctor reads my letters, even if Paul has to leave the papers there in case she refuses to see them. This time let her HEAR Paul's words. He needs to be heard and needs care.

Thank you ahead of time, I know you'll be with him.

I love you!!! Your kid sister always and forever, Lauralee

Hello Michael and Kevy,

So we had a bump in the raod today, daddy is down, I can tell, so extra special help is required please. He was doing so well, I could see that glimmer of hope in his eyes, but not today, today I seen despair, but he is not alone, he has me, he is my new best friend. Our tie in out own little coffee shop is so precious.
Boys, please direct me to the right people that I need to get to him safe and well. That is all I ask, just put them on my  path,

love you both , hugs from Lauralee xoxoxoxo

What else can I say but thank you! Thank you Michael and Kevy for helping us out down here. Kevy as you can see daddy is doing alot better, he needs your help more than ever to make this transition, but I know in my heart and soul that he is going to make it, he deserves to be happy for once in his life, he's been through hell and back. So just know Kevy that daddy is gonna be ok, you keep watch from up there, daddy will be here awhile yet, God is not ready to take hime home.
Michael, hope you are being nice to Kevy but somehow I doubt it cuz you like to play tricks. I can't thank you enough for the extra help Michael. Paul is doing so much better and he got a letter in the mail and has been moved up the priority list. Also, he is going to see a flat tomorrow. I ask that the both of you be by his side while he looks at what could be his possible home. If I could make a wish I'd wish the Paul could live the rest of his life in peace and be happy, you might want to mention this to God Although he already knows, LOL. I love you my brother, with my whole heart and 5000 miles past heaven,
Your kid sister Lauralee

Hello boys,

Well I emailed the letter off for Paul, all I ask is that you help them "hear" the desperation and "act" swiftly" to find Paul his new safe healthy happy home. I wrote on my bucket list that one day  before God calls me home I would like to meet him. Just once if I can to give him the biggest hug he so deserves. We will forever be friends now, he is stuck with me now, I WILL save this man, you know Michael that when I get an idea I do not stop until I have accomplished it. And this I WILL do. I don't care what it takes. God didn't send me to earth to just walk around doing nothing, I truly believe he sent me here to help people who need a voice when they are unable to speak for themselves, especially after they exhausted all avenues with no success. Thank you Michael and Kevy for all your help. And Michael don't play tricks on Kevy, as he is smart and knows how you are, you can't put him in the dryer!!!!

I love and miss you Michael, wish so much that you were here with me but I understand that sometimes God calls you home for a reason, we are only here until it is time to come home and that is up to God. We are "lent to this earth"


Thank you for all your help, love and miss you, your kid sister!! xoxo
   

Michael,

I sure hope you found your new little brother, Kevy Wevy. I feel you around me, things are happening so fast now with my friend. He is getting back on the road to hope. And he had converted to drinking coke cola!! haha

I miss you more than you'll ever know, cry alot but it needs to get out. Nobody will ever understand the pain I carry in my heart. I wish I had one more minute with you, just one. But I know that you are there always, in my heart and all around me. My bucket list is coming along nicely. So many things I want to do before God calls me back home.

Thank you and Kevy for all your help with Paul and I, we need it. I'm on fire!! Oh yes I am.
Love your kids sister always and forever! xoxoxoxo Lauralee

Michael,

Thank you so much, I wrote to you yesterday and my package arrived today! You work fast, haha. I have attached a picture of little Kevin, if you could find him somewhere up there in paradise please do. You always wanted a younger brother and now is your chance. He passed away from a terrible sickness. Keep him safe Michael and tell him that his daddy is going to be ok.

I love you and thanks again, miss you!!


Your kid sister Lauralee xoxox

Dear Michael. Hello I'm Paul.
This morning a Butterfly so bright and wonderful
Did this morning brighten my heart so very very  pained


This magical Butterfly is known to you as ''Kid Sister''.

She has just saved this man's life, ''not on her watch, ''not ever''


Michael you see I have a little Angel playing in the sky just as you might be playing right now. My son Kevin James is his name.
Perhap's you could call him over and sayhello for dady.  get to know him and learn him a few games he is a good and fun learner and sure could do with some R.C. Cola. and share manya fun day fetching the bottles for you.


Michael you kid sister is oh so special and doing wonderful good deeds here down below, I and the world are going to need her for so very long 
But we are all here for her also. as she also is so precious as you are.


So may we have a some time to come yet here while we make thisworld a safer and better place. while you and kevin James have all the fun untill one day we meet in heaven with our loved one's. 


Untill then Michael. may the Butterflies shine your radience in Lauralee's heart.

To keep her safe from harm and pain.
She is your 'SISTER'' SO KEEP HER SAFE.

       
     


                          

Hello Michael,

I really need your help, i'm sure you've been watching me from up above. I am trying to help a dear friend, and I need all the prayers that I can get. Since you are much closer to the big chief than I am, can you ask him for a request from your baby sister? Can you ask him to have the people not only listen but to hear what I and others are saying in our petition to save someones life? I don't want him to die, God can't take him yet, not on my watch. He has been through hell and back and back again, it's not fair, but I stepped in because I care, and I want to see him be happy. Please send me a sign, the other day I was off to a meeting and you sent me a butterfly. I just know it was you, butterflies are not around this time of year, but there it was. Please Michael, I know I ask alot sometimes, but this is someone's life we are talking about. If I could I would go there myself and I would take this man away from there. He is all alone, and it's sad, but I have faith.
I love and miss you so much Michael, think of you always.
Your kid sister Lauralee loving you forever xoxoxoxo

Hey Mike,
It will be one whole year soon that you have been gone, I think of you so often, and I miss you more than you could possibly know or understand. Still the blacksheep of my family, that will never change, but it is what it is. I know you never got the chance to meet my beautiful grandaughters, but here is a pic of me and Leila. She is the oldest.
The cold weather is coming, yuk, I wonder if you see snow in heaven? I wonder alot of things about heaven actually. I know you are at peace, I love you forever,
your kid sister Lauralee xoxo

Hey my brother,


Missing you today again, thinking of you always. Natasha is getting married, so much to do, wish you could be there, but I know you can't. I'll be thinking of you on that day, I hope your at peace, life is hectic with the wedding planning, but I'm doing the best I can. Feel like crap today, but have been all week long, maybe a virus. Please send me a sign when Natasha gets married to show me that you are there, no rain though, haha I know you like to play tricks on me!!!! Like when you put me in the dryer??? haha God I miss those days.


Loving you always, your kid sister Lauralee xoxoxo  

Hello my beautiful brother,


Things are bad right now, ha, what else is new,  and I could use your help. Please just surround me with your love and guidance and help me make it through this miserable time for me. I hold your ashes close to my heart Mike, I know you are there. Please just guide me, even if it is through my dreams, just come and visit me in my dreams and tell me what direction I should take from here. I miss you and I love you more than you'l ever know, and ask the big guy if he can help a little bit too.

Love your kid sister Lauralee xoxoxox Wish I was with you right now!! 

So, was it you who sent that little kitten to me Michael? I needed something to get my mind off of a very stressful situation, and then the kitten shows up, keeping me very busy with botte feeding. She is 4 weeks old. Thank you, I needed that to take my mind off of everything.



I wish I could feel the peace you must feel up there in heaven, tranquil, no existing problems, free........one day, one day Michael. For now I have to wait my turn but I know that you'll be right there waiting for me to take my hand.

I love you


Your kid sister Lauralee xoxoxoxo        

Hey there,


Thought of you today on my outing to Almonte with our cousins, it was fun, and then the waterfalls. Remember when you'd take me to see the rapids? I wished we were back there again, you holding my hand, telling me not to get too close or I'd fall in. It's the small things that make me think of you everyday. I've had the worst two weeks of my life and needed today to get my head on straight as you would say. Anyhow, I hope you were there, right beside me.

Love your kid sister Lauralee xoxoxox 

I need a favour. Since you are so close to the big guy and I, could you ask him to lay off a bit? Life has been full of letdowns lately, I went out and got a tatoo, not sure why I am saying this you were probably looking down saying what an idiot my sister is. It's my broken heart.
We talked about you, it was nice to hear someone else listen who never even knew you. I know you are still around me Michael, I was looking at Budha's and Angels and it was almost like I could feel something close to my back, so I looked back and nothing. So I bought the "BIG" Budha. It almost looks like she has her fingers and she's going "whoa, slow down now" haha Now that had to be as sign from you.
I hope you are well up there in Heaven, finally at peace, light, empty of full of love at the same time.

I love you and I think of you so often, never forget that my brother my friend.

Love your kid sister Lauralee xoxoxoxo
      

My dear Michael,


I got mail for you yesterday from the funeral home, well, it was directed to me actually. On the 17th of June there will be a mass held (in French ,sorry) and then all who passed in October till now will receive a tree to plant at the cemetary. Andre and I are going to be there to accept the tree in rememberance for you.
These days, I miss you more than you know, and I wish I was with you right now. Life is hard, there always seems to be something, I can't say I love life cuz I don't. Please ask God to come for me soon so I can be with you and get out of all this misery and pain Michael. I'm tired, and I don't know how much longer I can hang on. I love you,
Your kid sister Lauralee xoxoxoxo    

My brother was very funny and clever. He never really wanted a baby sister, he wanted a brother. He'd do things like put me in the dryer to play hide and seek and then turn the thing on, then have me go down the stairs in a basket, how fun!! He even hit me over the head with a snow shovel.


The funniest was when he wanted me to carry bottles to the store and I wouldn't do it. No way I said. He was furious with me, I was only around 8 years old. I didn't care. I watched as he carried the bottles himself to the store, meanwhile his favorite dog poochie followed him. He'd run back towards the house chasing poochie to go home, but as soon as he turned his back she'd follow again. He wanted to kill her. I was in the livingroom window watching all of this and laughing. All he wanted to do was get an RC Cola. When he finally accomplished his task and came home he wouldn't share his RC Cola with me at first. He told me it was because I didn't carry the bottles. I guess he felt sorry for me, cuz later on he did share. 

I still don't carry bottles or cans to the store to this day, and hey Michael, I don't even pump my own gas. I will fake a broken arm to get someone to do it for me! ha so there!

Loving you forever, your kid sister Lauralee xoxoxoxo      

Michael looking up at the baby sister he didn't want! LOL