Michael it xmas don't feel like it without you here but I will say you need to be here leaves are falling and it's xmas your time to see the light's I surely miss you mom more I am trying but I can't get in the mood for Christmas because of you right now you remember when we were little and we found out we were getting bicycles and there was no such thing as Santa Claus but we didn't care we just cared about the bikes I miss you so much my brother I love you hope you have a wonderful Christmas and send mom some hugs she needs them I love you

Michael Paul Anderson my past has messed up my life again I lost my soulmate my heart my best friend my rock and I didn't want this Michael I wanted to stay married and happy but he has hurt me and my feelings all I wanted was to be happy and now I am not happy just sad my heart hurts only God knows how much I love him and you my brother I miss talking to you 

Not a day I don't think about you but I know you are fine I miss talking to you and seeing you  and hear your voice  but I have our memories that no one can take from me I love you Michael wish I could see and hear you one more time bec I never got to tell you I love you and never got to say bye but I know you are happy when I made your day special bec you got the last call I was never there for you at the end  but I blame it on me bec you really need me but I couldn't save you anyway I love you more my sweet brother  

I need my brother more then anything else I  hate this feeling of everyone forgetting about you but I haven't forgotten you I am always reminded that you are here by my lil red brid there is alot I could say but I won't bec you already know about everything and you understand it I don't I love you boo-boo I miss you so much I hope you are having fun with your angels friends bec I am not have fun I miss my brother crazy how life works I need to get some sleep tonight I have a lot to do 

Cans you threw at a cop remember that boo-boo on the bus I don't remember what happened all I remember is you threw a can at a cop and you had nothing to say because I want to say it was the bus driver said something or someone pissed you off I don't remember but you had game back in the day I am sorry for everything I wish I could have saved you from it I love you I am sorry Michael 

You know you was mom's favorite kid because you were always there and you made our mom feel like a mom even though she is the best mom but dont tell here she is the best then she will make sure I don't  live it down  but when you have your first child they will always be the favorite kid lol you win old man with that and the 2 kid makes you or breaks and I meant to everything I have done as a kid and teenager  like that time I ran way and came back  with red bug bites we both did or good and bad but you made mom feel like you was here lil kid always even when you was a adult she would baby you thank you Michael for making her feel young and safe and always looking out for our mom you deserve to be the favorite ❤ I love you and I am sorry

I know you are my red brid at work or when I get off work  I see you everyday I am ok I promise you mom needs you Michael I am so angry at Eddie and everything because you are not here you was the peace of everything and now you are not here I am not you or mom I am hurting so badly that I can't no more I feel like I am nume to everything and I don't want to be in this situation bec I am tired of being alone and trying to be happy when I can't no more you see me everyday and I love you you was my first baby even though you was older but I took care of you and I am proud of you no matter what you did  Michael I am sorry for everything you never know how much I appreciate you and I love you you are the best brother I could ever wanted  Mr Charles  got a new suv you already know that but he had angle with him messed up his truck  but Sally is good I can't find your rake but mom and I are going to the building tomorrow and I am getting your gray bear and I am going to hug it and never let no one touch it bec it's yours  boo boo life is hard for me now days bec of my mouth  but I need to try to relax I love you my brother and I am sorry 

Michael  I miss you so much I know you are here watching me but it's not the same thing as if you was home I knew you would be home soon but now I have to wait for me to see you again I hate you are gone bec I didn't deserve a brother like you in my life bec you was a great person and a great angel and I was so mean to you because you was moms favorite kid but I mad a strong person yea I know you did but I would not change nothing about you bec you are happy with dad and everyone else I keep seeing red brids I think its you but you will never know how much I appreciate everything you do I am sorry for everything I have done to you ok I said sorry so come home please I am beginning you please come home for a day I need my only brother bec I need a hug and I love you please come back to me I want you home NOW I was not ready for you to leave me but you did I truly am sorry for everything please please come home bec I need a hug I need to know you are ok I don't care about nothing else about everyone else or how it looks bec I just want to know how are you and if you need me to come back bec I am worried about you bec I will always be my brother keep  Michael please come home  o really  don't care about no one else besides you bec I am not with you I need to know if you are  fine no one is hurting you .... I love you my boo boo

God boo boo alan said something about a BLT you loved those Michael Paul Anderson I have a hard time with you gone it feels  like a big piece of my heart went when you left us I miss you so much tacos you would eat them for days I love you my brother 

You remember that time you were Alan's house and you alan Ray was drinking and you would say let's celebrate brother  damn Michael wish you was here with us but I know you are ok because I see the red brids I love you my brother Michael Paul Anderson 

I miss you I was told you are really happy because you are with our dad I wanted to let you know how much you was like a dad to me you never left me and you was the best friend and my brother who I could never hate because I love my jack ass  brother we had a wonderful 37 years together and I will always remember you and you calling me the devil and more I love you my wonderful brother you could let me have a good night sleep but you have a wonderful day I love you Michael Paul Anderson 

I got mom a little chicken a toy one from you and a new phone grass is high you would be mad and upset because you know what time it is and everyone is missing you so much Mr P went back to the hospital and Mr Charles keeps looking for you boo-boo mom misses her baby boy her best friend and her  favorite kid mom be saying she can hear you sometimes and I am sorry I couldn't save you when you need me you know I would have risk it all for my brother because like mom said you was my baby kid not a baby you would be to be happy with me because I am trying to be there but I am not you and wish you was here for tomorrow because mom needs you for tomorrow I have to work and I know that you really would make mom happy you just don't know how much I appreciate you so damn much I love you my brother Michael oh didn't tell you I told ppl you passed away and you were there with me so no lies you are missed by alot of people who you see you paying bills Michael I hope you are having some great time because I try to make it but it hurts me and mom I hope you are making friends I love you my brother boo-boo 

My brother Michael is always in my heart  I truly miss him not a day goes by that I don't think about you if your happy and safe and if anyone is being nice to you because I am your keeper I risk it all for you boo-boo but I know you did your thing hear on earth and dad and God needed my brother and my moms baby boy she has her moments where we both need you but boy let me tell you that you are truly miss Michael ❤but I hope you are smiling down on us and watching mom because you are her world and I just want you to know that no matter what I always risk it for you you was the only male that never left me alone you were my big brother Michael your dog chip misses you  mom and I love you and we all miss you 

Michael  everyone is getting ready to cut grass And your not here telling Mr. Charls That you're ready to do the churches yard your not here to get the grass ready for summer Everyone is getting ready and now I can do is sit here and cry Because it was always time to cut grass or you had a mission No matter what I always think about you your always on my mind and how much I would love to have one hug Mom  Is hurting because she misses you Been a shadow I know your not here What I would do just here you say going on a mission or you devil I miss you and I love you again I am so sorry I couldn't save you when you you need me more if I could you would be here with mom and your friends 

You remember fighting about  grandma's  that moms mom was your grandma and Dennis mom was my grandma my better then yours and you saying my grandma was the best in the world and you know something your or our grandma was the best grandma for us even if you are her favorite but I have the best friend and favorite  brother in the world I wouldn't change it because I would runaway to find you because you are my best friend and brother I love you grandma's boy

Took  mom to get the short and she said that you were the reason to make her get it you did  so much Michael and you was appreciated by alot some people under appreciated you Michael you would give anybody your vest if they need it you Michael are so much-needed and loved people are still crying of you I still blame myself because you needed me and I couldn't save you it hurts but you are happy  please watch over us as we try to make it without you  boo-boo I love you 

We was like everyone else we had our moments where we both hated each other and we have our greatest moments but we both knew each year for Xmas we was going to get new bikes the best memorie I have is Michael loved to go fishing but wouldn't eat the fish it could be a small fish and it was a big fish to him no body could tell him different it was big to Michael I hope he is getting all the  big fish in heaven 

Michael I couldn't save you when you need me  more you don't know how much I dropped to my knees and I cried my heart out and when it came to me not telling you how much you meant to me killed me  you  was my forever Friend I never  imagined my life without you mom has her moments it comes  but you are always on my mind and heart because I know you are happy I am sorry for not  protecting you from this I don't think nobody was ready for that day and I still can't believe it because you deserve to be happy with dad and everyone else because I know heaven has a great gift and God need my brother more then me but I will always remember you and your smile because you know how to light up a room Michael thank you for teaching me a lesson in life and how important it is to love your life because you are never promised trm and I love you my wonderful brother 

You was worried about hold the twins because they were so small but you did a wonderful job holding them that when lil Michael came you knew what to do with him you have been a wonderful amazing man and uncle I never told you you was a big piece of my life and kids I hope the boys grow up to be as a great man like you and miss cat knows that you are watching her thank you Michael I love you