ForeverMissed
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It is hard to believe it has been three years....

This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Mikki. She has gone from this world too soon and left behind so many memories.
Michelle Mae Merrell (Gilliard) was born December 31, 1987, in Lancaster, CA, to Carl and Brenda Gilliard. It was pretty special because she was born on her dad's 25th birthday. The family relocated to Las Vegas in 1996, where Mikki lived until 2011. 
Since a young age, Mikki did not want to be called Michelle and only went by her nickname. Her dad is a huge Yankees and Mickey Mantle fan so it was only natural for him to call her Mikki.
During school years, Mikki was always pushing the boundaries a little with what she could do or say. She had a butt and an attitude, what more could I say.
After graduating in 2006, from Liberty High School, she was working and enjoying her life. She would have so much fun with friends and always be up for an adventure. Mikki was loud, funny, wild and life of the party! 
Mikki has a huge heart so we couldn't be happier when she met someone who loved her for her. On February 14, 2009, Daniel and Mikki eloped in Las Vegas with her parents as the witness. Daniel was in the US Air Force and was stationed there. They would have three beautiful, sweet children, Landon,9, Hannah,8, and Paisley, 3. The young family moved to Missouri in 2011, where Daniel had family. 
Mikki had a lot of close friends she made while there, that she considered family. Even though Mikki could be snappy or blunt, she made real connections and you could feel so open and close to her. 
Throughout these last few years, Mikki has been very open about her relationships and the affects of that would sometimes show. She would lash out at people she wanted to be close and not know how to mend a bridge. That was Mikki, bold and honest and if you made her mad, she was probably going to tell you. She also wore her heart on her sleeve and would give you the shirt off her back, maybe even her bra. 
Mikki was an amazing, never going to forget mom, daughter, sister, wife, cousin, aunt, in-law, friend, ex, and frienemy. Most of all, she will be missed for being MIKKI
The sad day of October 10, 2020, took both Daniel and Mikki. It was very sudden and accidental. Mikki will be laid to rest at the Veterans Cemetery in Springfield, Missouri, along with Daniel.
Services will be held for Mikki with family and friends in Las Vegas and a private service with the children in Missouri.
We will be having a get together on Saturday, November 7th at 2:00pm at 6105 E Sahara Ave. #31 LV NV 89142. We will have zoom available for those who can't make it.

Please remember life is short, do not let there be another time you said, "if only..."

I love you Mikki ❣️♥️❤️
January 1
January 1
Mikki, my beautiful, perfect birthday present. Today is our birthday. Happy Birthday baby girl. I had a really great day with your mom and Buffy today. But I was really missing you today. In church, when the pastor had the altar call,remember that? I went up and cried, cause I was missing you. I made a deal with God. Not gonna tell you what it is, but I know that you are okay, the Lord is and will take care of you. I will keep my end of the deal. I think about you all the time Mik. I talk to you, do you hear me?
 I feel your presence with me sometimes, like when a particular song comes on. Or when a feather floats across my pass. Is that you? I feel like it is. Knowing that you are with me, if only in my heart, keeps me going. Please always stay with me Mik, in my heart, until I can see you again. You are the my best friend, even now. You are my very best birthday present. Nothing I could ever get will ever come close to that. Happy Birthday Mikki Mae!
January 1
January 1
Happy Birthday Mikkerz♡
I wanted to post this before midnight on your birthday 
I know you were with us when we sang Happy birthday and released the balloons.
Your sister seen those birds flying over and let us all know to wait because you hated birds. We all know that lol!
I wanted to be happy and not a ugly cry face for you on your birthday.
I haven't accepted that you are gone.
It hurts so bad.
I'm so grateful to have mothered you and gave birth to you.
You are my gift from God.
I can't wait to see you again.
I love you Mikki Mae.
Happy Birthday my GOOBABUTT♡♡♡
December 31, 2023
December 31, 2023
Happy Birthday Mikki Mae. Even after forty years on this crazy planet, I still have yet to meet anyone with such a unique combination of beauty inside and out. The way that you were able to light up an entire room with life, just by being you, is such a rare quality to see in a person. That along with your relentless optimism, huge heart and kind soul made us all spoiled to have had the opportunity to have you in our lives. There's so much more that could be said here but mostly I just want to thank you for the time that I was able to spend with you and the impact you had on me in that brief period. I miss you Mikki and today will always be your day no matter what.
December 31, 2023
December 31, 2023
Oh my beautiful MikMac my heart hurts today, my eyes are crying the pain is rocking my soul but that’s a bittersweet reminder how much I love u, but it’s a day to celebrate you I love you and happy heavenly birthday! Another year has come and gone and I still can’t accept that this how it is now, spending the end of the year starting a new one with just a memory isn’t the same, I miss you sister, I would give anything to press rewind and spend 1 more time in ur presence you are thought of all the time in our family and it leads back to u saving me, for that and many other reasons I hope ur enjoying ur special place in heaven cuz earth is definitely different without u my best friend and one day I will see u again! I love u happy birthday my sister! Love u always miss u forever
December 31, 2023
December 31, 2023
Happy heavenly birthday, beautiful! I miss you and think about you SO much. I love you forever and always best friend
November 12, 2023
November 12, 2023
I miss you....
Mostly calling you.
Even more hearing your laugh!
I miss remembering stuff with you.
I miss making new memories with you.
I miss hearing your stories.
I miss you being around.
... I sit and wonder, who will take your place? Why did this have to happen? I just miss you. You are needed here and so loved. I wish you didn't have to ... and could just come back.  It is too overwhelming to think all you left behind and now how everything will change forever. 
I will forever miss you.
I love you
October 10, 2023
October 10, 2023
Hey beautiful, it's October 10th a day that used to be just another day, a day we get up and do our normal thing, then it became an unforgettable day, a painful day,, today will always be the day we lost one of the best things we ever had, we HAD Mikki and Daniel is something we never imagined we would have to say so soon way too soon today is now the day we celebrate and remember ur life and love that we lost, and that is bittersweet to the kids and I, we are sad that u are no longer with us but we are grateful to know that we had the pleasure of crossing paths and gaining a sister I never had, an aunt they cherish now and forever you brought a light and a love into our dark lonely world when we needed it most God sent us our angel on earth, your out going loud sassy no cheese eating enchilada loving big booty bang bang self brought me joy and love ❤️ and friendship that evolved into sisterhood and for that I love u MikMac u left footprints on our hearts, and the pain we feel is my reminder that I have the best friend I could ever have asked for God gave me u for a moment a moment when i needed u most and that moment is now a memory, a memory I will carry with me forever, he needed u so he called u home and i hope its beautiful I hope ur heaven is personalized with cheetah print and a big bathtub, I hope ur dishes wash them selves, i hope ur peaceful and happy, I hope u see ur beautiful children, I hope u send them signs that u r there with them tho they can't see u I hope they feel u, I hope they know and remember how great u are and how much u love them! I could go on and on with all the hopes and wishes but I won't I will leave u with one last one, I hope u know that u will forever in my heart on my mind and a part of my life I will never not miss you I will always remind my kids of u I will always hurt without u but I never not wanna feel the pain that's lovely reminder u were real, I love tf outta u! My heaven is gonna be right next door to urs so have me some coffee on reserve, and none of that pumpkin spice bullshit I love u soooooo much today tomorrow and always 
June 26, 2023
June 26, 2023
I have no pictures the phone they're on is damaged  I have no videos we never took any we have no time that has been taken away but I do have a heart that aches in a special spot reserved for you I have a mind full of memories that will never fade, the kids and i do miss you MikMac and wish I could feel ur love and have just 1 more minute of your time, I love u sis always always ❤️
April 18, 2023
April 18, 2023
Dearest Mikki,

Not a day goes by,
that I think of you and not cry.
You were my only sister and now I am alone.
I know your always with me,
But I will never hear your voice or be able to call your phone.
I hope we can meet again, and I can tell you all you missed,
I know that may not true,
And it is more a wish, or a moment of memory bliss.
It will never be the same without you here,
and it doesn't seem fair,
the loss of you is almost too much to bare.
I'm sorry I ignored the signs and didn't step up sooner,
I'm now stuck grieving and trying to piece it together.
And now your gone forever.
We love you and miss you,
the family you had,
the love you gave,
it makes everyone sad.
Forever missed.
Forever remembered.


January 13, 2023
January 13, 2023
Hi Mikki Mae just watched some videos of u and oh how I miss you loud voice sister! Days go by and some are good some are bad I miss your listening ear more now than ever I feel like where are you when I need you, then I look up to the sky and remember your in a better place than I am! The kids love and miss you so much we spent time on ur birthday reminiscing about you and ur crazy self! I love you beyond the moon and stars MikMac love you always your sis!!!
December 31, 2022
December 31, 2022
Happy Birthday baby! 35 years ago me and mom about the happiest people in the world. Me especially. It was .y birthday, New Years Eve, and you my beautiful miracle was born. You almost died right then. The umbilical cord was wrapped around your neck. It complicated your delivery. Thank God the doctor was great. He handled it, no problem. I was fine though it all, cut your cord. The best was when I held you in my arms for the very first time. You had the most beautiful golden hair, and alot of it. Every body said you would be born bald. And I said no, not my baby. And then when you were born with all that beautiful golden blonde hair, everybody was jealous and said, well, she'll lose it. LMAO! It just got longer and fuller and more beautiful..........
I miss you Mikki Mae! 
I'm crying right now. I wish you were here to celebrate our birthday together. You are still the the best birthday present I ever got. By far.
Happy Birthday! I love you always!
December 31, 2022
December 31, 2022
Happy birthday babe!! I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately and how crazy we were (especially on your birthdays). I have so much I wish I could tell you. For now, we’ll just stick with HAPPY BIRTHDAY I’ll make a toast to you tonight. I love you forever and always
December 31, 2022
December 31, 2022
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY MIKKI MAE BABYGIRL.
GOD I MISS YOU. IT HURTS NOT HAVING YOU HERE. I AM HURTING. I LOOK SO UGLY TOO BECAUSE OF ALL THE TEARS I CRY. YOU WOULD ALWAYS TELL MEHOW UGLY CRYING MADE ME IF I EVER CRIED. I AM SAD. I WANT TO BE HAPPY FOR DAD'S BIRTHDAY THAT IS TODAY BUT HIS BIRTHDAY WILL NEVER BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU HERE ON THIS DAY. YOU TOOK A HUGH PART OF HIM WITH YOU. YOUR SISTER IS YOUR WARRIOR. SHE STANDS AND FIGHTS FOR ALL THAT YOU WERE AND ARE. I AM PROUD OF HER.
WE LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU. I SEE YOU IN BUTTERFLIES A LOT. THANK YOU.
I AM HAVING AND ICECREAM FOR YOU AND DAD TODAY.
DAD AND I HAVE MANY MANY OLD MEMORIES OF YOU THIS LAST 2 WEEKS. I FEEL YOUR PRESENCE HERE WITH ME. THANK YOU.
I THANK GOD FOR THE 32 YEARS HE LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU. TO LOVE YOU AND SHARE 32 YEARS WITH YOU.
I AM GOING TO POST YOUR THINGS ON HERE TODAY TO SHARE. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU MIKKI
XOXO MOMMMMMMMM
October 14, 2022
October 14, 2022
It still doesn’t seem fair. I just want to call you and listen to you tell me about your day; even the crazy ones. Which let’s face it.. that was pretty much everyday for both of us. I think about you so much and everything I would say if I had the chance. Keep them laughing in Heaven babe! I love you forever and a day ❤️
October 11, 2022
October 11, 2022
Mikkerz
I love and miss you like crazy. I am sure you are here with me right now.
Your spirit is always with me. Every time I see a butterfly it reminds me of you.
It hurts so bad that you are not here. I still can't believe it. 2 years today. It is the worst day of my life.
Please continue to visit me and I will see you again.
I love you Mikki and you took a hugh chunk of me when you left.
Xoxo Mom
October 10, 2022
October 10, 2022
Mikki, It's been 2 years now and not a day goes by that I don't think about you. I miss you Mik. I wish I could talk to you. I've got a lot to say to you when I see you again. Right after I kick your butt. Lol. I love you Mikker.
Dad
October 9, 2022
October 9, 2022
Where to start.. here we are again, memories fill my head and I start to cry. Mostly asking what if. What if I had said or done something, would that have helped? Would that have saved you and Daniel? What if I could have one more second, even to just tell you I'm sorry and I love you so much. Maybe I would hug or slap you...
It's been two years since I've heard your voice and seen your face on video call. Your funny and a smart ass, but so real and so true. When I look back at what you may have been doing or thinking, it seems things were going on and you were lashing out. So many things left unsaid, left unresolved with so many loved ones. I'm sorry for both you and those of us you left behind.
I hope you really can watch over us and be at peace. Your so special to me and I miss you everyday.
I love you beeesshh.
September 10, 2022
September 10, 2022
Oh my mik mak we miss you so much each new picture added or post read is such a bittersweet moment! The memories we shared to know u were real and one of my most favorite ppl in this world just isn't enough, the kids love and miss u we talk about u all time so just know we are always thinking of you and pray heaven is treating you and Daniel well!
December 31, 2021
December 31, 2021
.. just another holiday I have to celebrate without you. Today is all about you sis. Happy birthday to you !! You would have been 34 today.. is there cake in heaven? You were a little 7 pounds when you were born, who would have thought you'd have such a big ass. It's not the same for anything or anyone since you've left. I would give it all to hug you and make sure you knew how much I love and need you. I am sorry I couldn't help you
November 2, 2021
November 2, 2021
I want to say thank you to my precious Buffy for all that you have, are, and will do for your sees♡
I couldn't get through this nightmare tragedy without you♡
You are my rock buffer♡
I am your rock too♡
I LOVE YOU♡♡♡

Also, thank you friends that loved my Mikkerz♡
Thank you for keeping her spirit alive♡
Please keep in touch 702-701-3233 

I AM GRIEVING AND MISSING MY BABY♡♡♡
October 10, 2021
October 10, 2021
Mikki,
It's been a year now. I miss you so much. I feel terrible about how you left us. I always told you that I was your best friend and later you told me that you understood what I meant by that. You told me you were my best friend and that you loved me. We talked about anything and everything. I know the things that you were dealing with and struggling with. And who. You knew my struggles. Some of our struggles were mutual as we dealt with certain people together.
Then you died.......
I have thought about this long and and hard. I have realized a few things. And I want to tell you, I'm sorry Mikki. I failed you. I failed you as a father and I failed you as a best friend. I should have done more for you. If I had, maybe you would still be here with us. So again, I'm sorry, very very sorry. You were and always will be my baby girl.
I love you Mikki. I will spend the rest of my days making it up to you. I miss you very very much.
October 10, 2021
October 10, 2021
So it's been a year... Without your contagious laugh... your yelling... your compassion.. your big butt.. your voice.... Without my sis..
I am so sorry I couldn't save you, your husband or your children from this. You are special and truly irreplaceable.
Your memory will never be forgotten and forever missed.
I hope I can hug you again. I miss you so much. I love you ❤️❤️
May 18, 2021
May 18, 2021
MIKKI MAE
LOSING YOU HAS KILLED ME DEEPLY INSIDE.
I LOVE YOU.
I MISS YOU.
ME AND DADDY WANTED YOU. WE WERE SO HAPPY WHEN WE FOUND OUT THAT I WAS PREGNANT.
OH BABY GIRL,
THANK YOU FOR MY MOTHER'S DAY FLOWERS AND ALL THE VISITS FROM YOU.
IT'S HARD WITHOUT YOU.
THIS WORLD AND OUR LIFE ISNT THE SAME WITHOUT YOU
I AM THE PROUDEST MOTHER ON THIS PLANET TO HAVE YOU FOR A DAUGHTER.
YOU ARE A GIFT FROM GOD.
I LOVE YOU MIKKI MAE
SEE YOU AT THE STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN
May 14, 2021
May 14, 2021
It's been 7 months without your love and laughter how is this time going so fast yet a life without you is at a stand still? I see all these beautiful posts and pictures honoring you and it's so precious but definitely not the same without you sis! Your forever in my thoughts and conversations the kids and I miss you beyond belief ik your flying high sweet angel would be to much to ask u to drop down from heaven and say hi? Love u always and miss you much MikMak patty wak
May 6, 2021
May 6, 2021
Ashley, you sound just like your sister!! If you see this please call or text me sometime, no pressure. 815-673-9284
December 31, 2020
December 31, 2020
Happy Birthday Mikki Mae. 33 years ago you came into my life. You were born on my birthday. Best birthday present ever! Its hard to be happy today even though a lot of family and friends are calling to wish me happy birthday, it's not the same without you here to celebrate with me. I close my eyes and remember you doing your Popeye smile for me. That makes me smile and happy. I love you Mikker. I will always have you in my heart, especially on our birthday...
Love Dad xoxo
December 31, 2020
December 31, 2020
Happy birthday sees
You would have been 33 today. You are so fun to party with and always created a lasting memory. You crack me up and your laugh is so contagious.
You're a beautiful woman and had a wonderful family.
Words can never express how life will never be the same.
I can only wish to see and hug you again. I love you so much!
May you celebrate in peace, wherever you are.
December 29, 2020
December 29, 2020
I can’t believe you’re gone. I wish you could be here to see pictures of the new baby and just to see everything in general. I’m glad we were able to have that last conversation because I will cherish that forever. We ended our convo here in this life on a high note and I will forever be grateful for the sweet words we exchanged. You were my friend. I miss you so much and i am so sad that you are not here. It’s almost still hard to believe. You were a great friend and an amazing mother. I love you and I miss you.

Love,
Your Cuban
Luisa ❤️
December 28, 2020
December 28, 2020
Mikki Mae,
I am having a real hard time believing that you are gone.
You will always be my gooba butt.
God loaned you to me for 32 beautiful and special years.
Thank you for spending Christmas Eve with dad and I. We got the message from you when the snow globe came on by itself. Your ashes are next to it. Dad and I felt your presence that 24 hours were magical.
I love you Mikki. I miss you very much.
I know you were there to greet your gangsta gma.
Your children miss you. They are doing alright. I show them young pictures of you.
Mikki Mae I will see you again.
Heaven honey Heaven (our inside joke)
XOXO your Maum
December 28, 2020
December 28, 2020
Merry Christmas Mikki Mae. This has been a very trying holiday for sure. I miss you so very much. I still have a hard time accepting that you are not here. It makes me very sad. I got your sign that on Christmas eve. I could feel your presence. Our birthday is Thursday. Ashley is having a party for us. I will raise a glass for you. I love you Mikki. I pray that you are with Jesus now. He undoubtedly will have a better party for New Years, than I could imagine.
You are always in my heart and thoughts.
December 23, 2020
December 23, 2020
Your birthday is approaching and it's hard to believe it's been over 2 months since you went to heaven the day isn't even here yet and I already feel like I've been hit by a truck the pain I feel when I think of you and the fact that that's all I have left are thoughts and memories of you, what do I do without you sister I miss you so so much and always hold you dear to my heart I love u now I love u forever sis I'll see you again someday for now I'll keep ur memory alive all ur nephews and nieces miss you and love u as well ❤️ flight high sweet angel talk to you soon
October 28, 2020
October 28, 2020
Oh my Mik-Mak beautiful soul sister to begin to imagine a life without you is something beyond unimaginable, You came into my life when I needed a friend the most, like God dropped you there & said here's an angel handle with care! We clicked instantly and you became the sister I always wanted, Your crazy outgoing bold personality was so amazing, your pure heart and strong "loud" voice that's always there to say what was right what wasn't what it is or isn't is what I love the most about you! My kids gained an amazing aunt Mikki uncle daniel and 3 beautiful cousins almost 10 years of sisterhood and friendship wasn't nearly enough but I do know that one day I will see you again and until then fly high and rest in paradise beautiful Angel!
P.s. I Love and miss you yesterday today tomorrow and forever!
October 27, 2020
October 27, 2020
Sis,
I miss you so much and cannot believe this sad reality. You were my best friend and my only sis. I hope I can do right by what you would have wanted for your children and hope to see you again!
It's always been me and you, thick and thin. You always had my back! Your special and ordinary and not a moment will go by I don't think about you. I love you so very much. I'm devastated you had to go...

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Recent Tributes
January 1
January 1
Mikki, my beautiful, perfect birthday present. Today is our birthday. Happy Birthday baby girl. I had a really great day with your mom and Buffy today. But I was really missing you today. In church, when the pastor had the altar call,remember that? I went up and cried, cause I was missing you. I made a deal with God. Not gonna tell you what it is, but I know that you are okay, the Lord is and will take care of you. I will keep my end of the deal. I think about you all the time Mik. I talk to you, do you hear me?
 I feel your presence with me sometimes, like when a particular song comes on. Or when a feather floats across my pass. Is that you? I feel like it is. Knowing that you are with me, if only in my heart, keeps me going. Please always stay with me Mik, in my heart, until I can see you again. You are the my best friend, even now. You are my very best birthday present. Nothing I could ever get will ever come close to that. Happy Birthday Mikki Mae!
January 1
January 1
Happy Birthday Mikkerz♡
I wanted to post this before midnight on your birthday 
I know you were with us when we sang Happy birthday and released the balloons.
Your sister seen those birds flying over and let us all know to wait because you hated birds. We all know that lol!
I wanted to be happy and not a ugly cry face for you on your birthday.
I haven't accepted that you are gone.
It hurts so bad.
I'm so grateful to have mothered you and gave birth to you.
You are my gift from God.
I can't wait to see you again.
I love you Mikki Mae.
Happy Birthday my GOOBABUTT♡♡♡
December 31, 2023
December 31, 2023
Happy Birthday Mikki Mae. Even after forty years on this crazy planet, I still have yet to meet anyone with such a unique combination of beauty inside and out. The way that you were able to light up an entire room with life, just by being you, is such a rare quality to see in a person. That along with your relentless optimism, huge heart and kind soul made us all spoiled to have had the opportunity to have you in our lives. There's so much more that could be said here but mostly I just want to thank you for the time that I was able to spend with you and the impact you had on me in that brief period. I miss you Mikki and today will always be your day no matter what.
Recent stories

FUN FACTS

October 11, 2022
♡ Halloween was Mikki's favorite holiday to celebrate.  She loved to dress up and go trick or treating. 
♡ Mikki loved to write.
♡ Mikki was a lifeguard.

Gooba butt

October 10, 2022
Mikki was not her real name but it was. When they asked for her name for her birth certificate at the hospital I told them Michelle Mae. Michelle because of the Beatles song, " My Michelle " and I thought it was a beautiful name. Mae because not only was she born on my birthday, but also her great great grandmother's (Minnie Mae) as well. That was for the birth certificate. As soon as the nurse left the room  I told Brenda we were going to call her Mikki, after Mickey Mantle, my favorite Yankee. But spelled M I k k I.  So she was my Mikki from the time she was a few hours old. It was her name. Her nickname was actually Gooba butt. Yes she had a bubble butt from when she was a toddler. She was my little Gooba butt. Just another dad story. 

Did you know....

October 9, 2022
First of all Mikki isn't her real name

She used to go to church growing up And we did bible quizzers together

She would often be picked on in school

Her mom taught her sign language and gibberish 

She would say things that should never be said, good or bad.

She was actually sweet and did care about people

She couldn't have kids at first and took hormones

She used to bleach her hair, glue on eyelashes and get fake nails with M A R K on them

Mikki would Be the life of every party

She had a big butt

Oh Lord Was one hell of a story teller 

She Did love her dog Madden but didn't do well with other pets she got

She lived jeepin and being in the mud

Mikki had a really contagious laugh and smile. 
Mikki was one of a kind

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