ForeverMissed
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His Life

June 17, 2013

September 27, 2014

A very special poem I wrote when I caught him cutting papers  using his scissors making shapes then pretending reading after. He never experienced what school was...due to his condition..blood transfusions every week.


She’s watching him last night

Holding a paper

He’s pretending reading.

Her heart wanted to explode.

She couldn’t say anything,

Her soul was crying.

Behind his little eyes,

His heart was yearning ,

She hates to say

Wait a little bit more ,

“Soon my baby”

You’re on your way,

His bear knows everything

He hugs it,

Telling his pain in tears

What more then,

So sick and tired,

Always in fears.

16th of April when he came

With his cute little nose,

Everybody adore him.

She never thought

Such hands of fate

Immensely tough , too deep for him

A boy with a smile

That speaks a thousand ,

Never need to say a word

Even a single thing

It gives love

Gives her hope..

.

.

.

July 11, 2013

September 27, 2014

We were home then finally after long stay in the hospital.

Undimmed a reflection I see,

in smile, in deep seated eyes,

somewhat your thin disguise.

With your two broken wings,

unable to lift off and fly high,

yet eyes still fixed on the sky.

With a tremendous courage,

A brave heart filled with hope,

faith, holding on same rope.

A blessed kind, my little one,

both of us….never retreated,

..thus, you’re never defeated.

July 15, 2013

September 27, 2014

I wrote after he asked about the universe and stars.

Close your eyes,

hold me your hand,

will take you far,

somewhere in place,

your fanciful idea,

to travel out in space,

to your dreamland,

stars we’ll gonna chase.

No tears, free from pain,

this is my promise,

my hands be the light,

nothing to worry about,

just trust me,

“Are you ready?”

Now, we need to hurry .

Sept 11, 2013

September 27, 2014

Wrote this while he was sleeping peacefully at home, after sleepless nights  in the hospital.

You’re the bright star in my night sky,

the radiance behind my hidden smile.

You’re the flowers among the trees,

the freshness of my morning breeze.

You’re the pot at the end of my rainbow

colors you bring, relieve my sorrow

You’re the words inside my thoughts,

the beautiful things you had taught.


Sept 20, 2013

September 27, 2014

Wrote this after his 5th major surgery, I could see how happy he was...


The glow in his deep eyes ,

the twinkle behind the smile.

Beyond words can explain,

feelings has been changed.

Sadness turned into gladness,

leaving traces of past images.

A new chapter, about to begin,

his new world gonna break in.

~Nodz

His Last Week with Us

September 27, 2014

My entry from my open diary blog... December 2, 2013

Sundays are what they are meant to be: spending quality time with family. Our Sunday was spent outside, letting our lil soldier to choose and decide where he wants to go first, since I had an appointment with my dentist at 3 pm, it has to be done. We left the house around 11 am and had to bring the kids first for a lunch then in an hour or two, we’re going straight to their favorite place.. The one last request of our lil soldier before we left , two toy gun he’s eyeing since he first saw those, then a fruity mentos / tictac candy and a small blue rosary. A blue Rosary- I’m still thinking and wondering up to now, why he requested . He wore it after I paid it. We went straight to the dentist afterwards, then reminded us all of a sudden that we will be gonna late for the Holy Mass. For a little kid, it’s unusual and strange to do such things. He was well behaved inside the church, just listening and singing, he never complained for the first time though he whispered he’s feeling hungry, he just waited. There was this annointing of oil after, he participated along with dad and his older brother and told me to annoint as well. I could felt then how Raik misses simple things like this. Most of the time, we spent Sundays in hospital, every week. When on our way home after dinner, he whispered something and smilingly said; “I’m happy mom, all done” then he kissed me. Couldn’t hold back my tears. I hugged him and I said; “We will have plenty of next time I promise.

His Big Heart

September 27, 2014

An entry from my open diary blog.. November 27, 2013

It’s been a while I hadn’t written anything about my lil soldier, the past months were struggle. Now, it’s over, we can now breathe, “Thank you God”. Two months ago, our long awaited surgery was finally done, *Thanking all friends; all his doctors, nurses and relatives who helped out and this Foundation who assisted us. All went well, Raik recuperated very well and I could say, our brave lil soldier now is finally back on the field, making his way to save lives again ;), but as needed, he has to go back to hospital regularly for blood transfusions. I want to share some moments I would treasure, it happened just this month. We had this hospital roommate, a 2 yr old boy, facing serious disease. The whole family were grieving, so we were. I could see how my lil’ soldier cheered up the whole family and this little boy everyday for 9 days. Whenever I recalled those days, I just couldn’t help but to shed tears, God had given us real angel, feel so blessed and grateful to HIM. Ever since, in our lil soldier’s journey, the word “kindness” is just an ordinary thing, he always has this big heart to share goodness to people he meet, doing extraordinary good things that we his family are really so proud, despite of, he’s struggling and wounded too.

What an early Christmas present from God, seeing my lil soldier back on the field with his toy gun!

His Bravery And Love of Life despite...

September 27, 2014

My entry from my open diary blog - June 1, 2013

There’s nothing better than seeing your kids still fast asleep. We all had a good night , thank God, no night ouchies! He joined us over dinner last night, he’s smiling now, I can say , my litte soldier is finally back :) I know how he feels , everytime there’s burning pain near around his stoma. But then, he is still recuperating, 3 more weeks , I guess, then hoping that needed surgery will be done.. Early this morning, I was clearing some clutters in the room, saw this mickey mouse alphabet coloring book and the large crayon. I suddenly remembered it was Raik who chose this stuff , we were in a bookstore then. It seems like ages now since we had this little shopping, no surgeries had done yet, he can still run and walk freely without something that would bother him. On the other side of the room, there’s this two little bikes kept,(when was the last time he rode this bikes, I could hardly remember . ) His childhood was stolen from him. In and out of the hospital for 3 years, prefers to lie down most of the time. One of my greatest sentiments – how can he still manage to smile and be contented on these, yet he knows he’s carrying something on his body that would stay there for a lifetime, unless he’s feeling a pain . I know kids are resilient by nature than we are. It’s Sunday today, how I wish we could go out like we used to, but sad to say , we can’t . :( Have to put down my mouse now, no more things to add , just taking a break, just my thoughts..

Mommy

The Day He Was Born

September 25, 2014

 If I’ll be given a wish today, your smile would forever stay, that alone can give happiness for a lifetime.”


 7 years ago, 16th of April year 2007 when our angel Raik came, our lives changed, truly a God-given gift, a blessing. Happiness filled our world, everyday was a new day, wonderful moments to be cherished, to thank God, not after three years when we learned his rare fatal  genetic vascular disease condition...life must go on, my prayer then, ” I’ll gonna do all the best I know, I can, as long as you let him stay.