Deborah, Charles, Trey & family: Your dedication to continue the memory of Mama Prothrow’s (Mildred) legacy is truly a spirit of love and family dedication. It is with sadness of my heart that I lost my husband, Ira to COVID19 back in September of last year. In remembering Mama Prothrow’s love for Ira, it gives me great comfort to know that God has united their spirits once again in heaven. I love you guys.❤️ Always Creola G. Lucas Hoover, Alabama

Dear Deborah, Charles, Trey (Quay), Tony, Percy, Mimi, Gabriella, Gracyn, Kamal, Ruby, Perci and family,

My first introduction to “Aunt Mildred” was as “Mrs. Prothrow” on Hermer Circle, in our Atlanta neighborhood.She wanted Deborah to meet new friends on our circle and my family of girls was her choice for Deborah.Deborah and I were closest in age, but first my sister Cheryl spent the night and then I did the next time.From that first visit, Deborah and I became the best of friends.Eventually, I was told by Mrs. Prothrow to call her “Aunt Mildred”.

Aunt Mildred was a hands-on mother, and her love of children was evident in everything she did.It was always about the children – nourishment through her excellent culinary skills, entertainment – she played cards with us and even took us to her bridge club late night games, caring for other children in her home with her at-home daycare, bobbing for apples at her home on Halloween, and chauffeuring us to and from the parties and events around Atlanta (though Uncle Percy did a lot of the driving as well). All this- while keeping up with Deborah’s older sister Lady Percy. Eventually, Lady married Trey’s dad, Jimmy, and my baby sister, Glynis, had the honor of being the flower girl in their wedding.The simple elegance of the wedding and the red velvet dresses stick out most in my mind. As a pre-teen, I was very impressionable and in awe of the whole event.Lady Percy was such a beautiful bride, and if my memory serves me correct, there was a lot of fuss and commotion about the timeliness of the wedding. I think Lady didn’t like the hairdo from the hair stylist, so Aunt Mildred had to step in and help make it just right. There was a lot going on behind the scene that day, for sure!

I can remember Aunt Mildred, my parents, and Uncle Percy in our kitchen having so much fun a few days before they were to move to Texas.Deborah and I were upstairs for the last sleep over, and they were in the kitchen enjoying themselves, and my guess was that my dad and Uncle Percy may have been imbibing a bit much that night because I had never heard such noise between the four of them.The memory of four very happy people – laughing and being loud - at that moment in time, has always struck me as a real friendship between them. Today, all my sisters consider the Prothrows as family.

After the move to Texas, the Prothrows housed my whole family (my parents and four girls) for the fourth of July weekend on our road trip to California, with all the kids sleeping on the floor in her living room.Aunt Mildred made sure we were all together. She gave love and care to everyone! Deborah has inherited those same qualities as well.

Once Deborah came back to Atlanta for college, one summer we had an apartment together. Who would show up at our place from Texas for at least two weeks or more? Aunt Mildred – checking on her daughter and trying to get information about Deborah’s social life, specifically who was spending time at our apartment.She was already helping Lady out with Trey and Tony in Texas, but there she was, in Atlanta with baby Tony in her arms in our apartment, keeping tabs on her other daughter.She asked me on many occasions what I thought about Deborah’s Morehouse friend, but I didn’t give up any information.

In the absence of my mother, she was right there at my wedding, accompanying her pregnant daughter, my friend, and little Percy – tricycle and all.She didn’t miss a beat!

Aunt Mildred was always welcoming, and loved being home as much as she was willing to travel all over the world.She was a sharp dresser - what we would call a kind of “fashionista” today, and always smelled of her favorite perfume.She was easy to talk to and had so much wisdom, faith and a loving heart.

My next time with Aunt Mildred was after Ron and I moved to Texas where our children were born. Aunt Mildred and I would visit each other from time to time and share recipes.She taught me how to make “hot water cornbread” because that was my favorite thing to eat at her house as a kid.Her culinary skills were excellent, and her love of family and friends came through in her cooking. It was during this time before moving to Boston that she would have the grandkids with her or Mimi and Percy would be visiting during the summer. The grandkids were always nearby.She was the quintessential caretaker - grandmother.

Eventually, our vacations were spent in St. Maarten together watching her grands grow each year along with my children, Omari and Kwame, trailing behind.She had them calling her “Grandma Mildred” as well.She was in her most relaxed and happy state with all of her family right there, not to mention the many friends who also vacationed with them.You could always find her – reading her books, cooking, shopping for groceries or jewelry and putting together the annual jigsaw puzzles.She was so content and happy with Charles, Deborah and family.

Her stay in Tanzania, when Charles was Ambassador, was nothing less than royal, though she exuded a caring, gracious, down-to-earth, accepting and loving demeanor with visitors - Ambassadors and the working staff alike. Everyone loved her, and she loved the people, the adventure, and truly enjoyed her “Bibi” (grandmother) status.She welcomed Ron’s mother, Marie, to share a room with her when we visited, and at that time, the two “eighty somethings” grandmothers had much to talk about.

Aunt Mildred was always part of her daughter’s life experiences whether in Atlanta, Boston, China, Europe, Egypt or Africa and many other international locations.She loved her family and her family truly loved her.Having lost my mom early in life, Aunt Mildred was closest to my mother’s essence, and I always admired and respected her as someone with whom I could go to for sound advice. She had also loss her precious daughter and husband and understood my loss and need for support.  She was the “Queen Mother” in every way with her strong faith and motherly instincts.

I thank God for having known such a wise and beautiful woman. I thank Deborah for sharing her with her friends. She stayed as long as she could. She told me one day that she didn’t want to leave Deborah, and that was what kept her going so long -102 years – the love of her daughter.I knew that was the truth because I had seen her in action since I was seven years old - right there for Lady Percy, Deborah and all the grands and great grands.She was the rock - wise, present and supportive.Rest in peace Aunt Mildred, Grandma Mildred, Mama Prothrow, Bibi, Mrs. Prothrow, Mildred B. Prothrow.You have made an indelible loving mark on us all.

Love,
Franca (Elliott Sheehy)

Dear Deborah, Charles, Mimi, Percy, Trey, and the rest of the family, 

It's impossible for me to encapsulate all the love and warmth I felt from Mildred, whether it was visiting all of you in Tanzania and dancing on the rooftop of Emerson & Green's in Stone Town, Zanzibar, or Christmas time on Parsons St., when she routinely refused to tell me the secret to her flawless eggnog. Her Texan charm, her mischievous smile, her outsized wisdom, her quiet intelligence, and her love of humanity are forever etched on my soul, and I feel honored to have known her. 

I'm sending all of you much love, and may we all be remembered with a fraction of the awe Mildred inspired in everyone lucky enough to cross her path. 

Jonathan 

To Deborah, Charles & Family:
I will always remember when my husband and I moved with our young family to the Brentwood neighborhood on Tidewater Street in Houston,Texas. We did not know who our neighbors were.  But soon as we got settled in there was a knock on the door, it was the next door neighbor, Mildred B. Prothrow with a batch of freshly baked cookies and a welcome smile on her face. 

We could not have been blessed with better neighbors than, Percy and Mildred Prothrow and their two lovely daughters Lady Percy and Deborah and  their little curly head grandson ‘Trey’

Mildred was a very caring and giving person and I am bless and honor to have had her as a part of my growth and development, and especially when she affectionately told me to call her Mama Prothrow! I’m glad God led me to that house next door to the Prothrow’s.

With memories and so much love ...

Dear family and friends of Mildred Boutin Prothrow. I would like to share the monthly message sent to all the patients at Coastal Carolina OBGYN. This month's story was inspired by Mama Prothrow. 


Welcome to our monthly Wellness Wednesday. This month, I have chosen to reflect on death and dying, quite frankly, because I am grieving. A few days ago, Mama P, my third and last mother figure, my adopted American mother, died. She was preceded in death fifteen years ago by my beloved mother-in-law, who died during her favorite holiday, Thanksgiving. Six years ago, my own mother died basking in the sun on a lounge chair while on vacation with us in Myrtle Beach. And now, my Mama P is gone. She, too, had the foresight to die on vacation, surrounded by her entire family on the Caribbean island of Sint Maarten. She had reached the ripe old age of 102, and she was ready to meet her maker. 

The truth is, Mama P had been ready for a while. Her mind was in full functioning order, but her body was tired and broken down and she was in pain most of the time. She had buried her beloved husband, who died from a sudden heart attack, many moons ago. She had also buried her older daughter, who died from kidney disease. It is said that there is no greater grief than burying a child, and Mama P lived with that grief every day. 

Once Mama P retired from teaching, she moved in with her younger daughter and helped run her busy household. She cooked the most fabulous meals – lamb and gumbo were her specialties – and baked the best lemon meringue pies ever. She drove her grandkids to activities and to church, and her constant presence afforded her daughter and son-in-law the opportunity to pursue distinguished careers. They could do so because they knew Mama P had their backs. 

My husband was her adopted spiritual son, and thus, I became her adopted daughter. In fact, she travelled with an American delegation of eight extended family members to our wedding in Copenhagen, Denmark 34 years ago this month. Then she, together with my mother-in-law, sister-in-law, my husband’s high school principal and wife, and a family friend, travelled with us on our honeymoon to Greece. No worries, we stayed at two different hotels, but we would pop by their hotel every night on our way out to dinner. 

Mama P was that kind of woman: hardworking, faithful, God-centered, loving and kind, fun and adventurous, someone who even made it to our honeymoon. Once I moved to America, she stood in the gap on behalf of my own mother, and was here to give me hugs, home-cooked meals, advice and encouragement. I was a young student, newly married to the man of my dreams, soon to be a new mother, and an immigrant far away from home, so you know I needed it,

I chose the baby-delivering business of medicine because I love life and I love being there for the miracle of new life. My patients are, for the most part, healthy and happy, and the world is their oyster, whether they know it or not. I get to advise and aide in sickness and in health, and it is a blessing to me. However, death and life are closely connected, even in the baby-making business. To grieve is natural. It is painful, but necessary. In her book, On Death & Dying, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross describes the five stages of grief so well: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance. Learning to transition gracefully through these stages is just as important to living a full life as is the ability to experience joy at the sight of a new baby. Life and death go hand in hand, and we could all do a better job of preparing for and dealing with death. 

Every day is a gift that should not be taken for granted. We all have to leave this earth some day, thought most of us wish it to be later rather than sooner. Death waits for no one, and it does not discriminate, and not everyone gets 102 years to get it right. But it is not how long we live, but rather how well we lived and what we did with our lives that counts. As the great poet and author Maya Angelou said, “People won't remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.” So, my question to you today is, how do you make people feel? Are you present and available to your loved ones? Are you kind, loving and patient? Do you have forgiveness in your heart or do you carry grudges?

Everyone’s life matters – yours and mine, too. Let’s not waste another minute on minutia, but make sure to live our lives to the fullest, bringing peace and harmony with us wherever we go.

Peace,

Dode Washington, MD