Once my Mom's dementia started it progressed very quickly.  It didn't take very long for her Physician to advise us that it wasn't safe for Mom to be driving.   This proved to be quite a challenge because one of the ways that my Mom kept herself entertained was to go driving around looking at all of the pretty houses in the Dallas area (she called it "cruising").  

Anyone who has ever met my Mom knows that she can be very determined and more than just a little bit stubborn.   Jim had his hands full trying to get her to give up her car keys.   On his first attempt he decided that it would be easiest to just disable her car - then he could explain to her that she couldn't go "cruising" because the car was broken.   The only problem is that when my Mom had moments of clarity she was still a very intelligent woman.  Mom promptly sweet talked a neighbor into fixing the car for her.  

Jim decided to try disabling the car again - this time he taped a note under the hood explaining that Mom wasn't supposed to be driving and telling people not to fix the car.    Mom was not deterred.   

Mom decided that if her car was broken she would just go buy a new one.   Mom hitchhiked to the local car dealership and tried her best to buy a new car.   Fortunately the receptionist at the dealership quickly realized something was wrong and managed to coax a family members phone number out of my Mom (I think that she told her that it was needed for the financing to go through).   

At the time that this happened it was very distressing for all involved...but years later looking back on the situation I have to give Mom credit for being very determined.    I also have to laugh at the thought of her sitting in the house scheming trying to come up with a plan to get what she wanted.   I know she was probably very pleased with herself for figuring out how to get to the dealership to get a new car.   

Over the course of her sales career my Mom sold a number of different products Clairol, Bon Del Water Filters, Texas Greetings Postcards....etc

Mom was convinced that the real ticket to making money was selling her own product.   Eventually she came up with the idea of selling crystals.   She had located an inexpensive source for the crystals and she was going to put them in a little black velvet bag with a fancy pull string closure on top and fill the bag with shredded cellophane and sparkly dust.  She was convinced that they were going to sell like crazy.  I have memories of Nikki and I helping her to assemble the bags so we would have back stock ready to go when the orders started rolling in.  

Moms marketing angle was "the Power of the Crystal" and all it can do to change and improve your life.   She got a radio spot and had them use a male voice to entice people to buy these amazing crystals.   

Unfortunately, the radio spot didn't work very well.  

The first time Nikki and I heard the ad we cracked up at the over the top sexy male voice (if I remember correctly the ad was also set to run in the late evening).  After listening to the ad we looked at Mom and said there is a small problem the telephone number is impossible to remember.   She didn't have a custom telephone number...the listener would have had to have a pen and paper to write it down at the exact time that the radio was on.  Well in all honesty that probably wasn't the only problem - but it was a good lesson in how not to advertise on the radio.

After the Crystal venture didn't pan out Mom just shifted gears and moved on to another business venture.  I can remember that my Mom didn't ever dwell on her failed business attempts and she was always optimistic about her future prospects..  My Mom taught me a lot about how to approach my own life.  I will never forget "The Power Of The Crystal".        

I can't believe I am sharing this one but it is a fun memory from my childhood so here goes....

When I was growing up my Father got transferred quite a bit.   This required us to make several moves from state to state.   Most of the responsibility for coordinating the moves fell to my Mom.   She would go to the new state with Nikki and I, scout out potential homes for us, find her top two or three choices, then once the house was purchased she would coordinate our move, and drive the family car to the new house - all with Nikki and I along with her (multiple moves with Nikki and I both being under age 10).  

Needless to say in all of the commotion she sometimes would get frustrated with my Dad.   One of the ways that she vented this was by playing a game with Nikki and I in the car while we were driving from state to state (Dad wasn't with us).   The game was called "When Daddy Dies I get...."     We would take turns...Nikki would say "the car", Mom would say "the house", I would say "the boat" and we would keep taking turns until everything was gone.    I know it sounds really morbid but we were all laughing and giggling and having fun - my childhood was a little twisted :-)

Anyways, when my Mom was married to her second husband Nikki was in her late teens and I had just turned 20.   We were standing in Mom's kitchen and she was venting to us about something that Ken had done that had really pissed her off.  She was really in a bad place until Nikki looked at her and smiled and said "When Ken dies I get...."    We all started laughing so hard that we had tears in our eyes.   Poor Ken walked in the room and we just looked at him and then we started laughing all over again.   Poor guy didn't stand a chance :-)

For the record Mom never played the game again after she married Jim.  He kept her very happy!

I'm trying to remember all of the details of this one...Aunt Donna might have to help me.    

One afternoon my Mom and my Aunt Barbara were out grocery shopping.   They were talking back and forth and finishing each other's sentences.    The 3rd party that they were shopping with kept commenting on how they must be able to read each other's minds because they kept finishing each other's sentences.    As they were checking out my Aunt Barbara leaned over to my mom and quietly told her a series of numbers in Spanish (something like cinco tres nueve).   My Mom just looked at her blankly thinking that Barbara had finally lost it.   When they got out to the car Barbara set the third person up by implying that maybe they could read each other's minds - they hadn't really ever tried it before.  Then she told the person that she was going to test it out by mentally projecting a series of numbers to mom.  She wrote the numbers down and gave them to the third person.   At this point my Mom realized what was going on and she squeezed her eyes shut and pretended to concentrate so she could read Barbara's mind and "pick-up" on the numbers she was sending.   After significant amount of effort she come up with 5 3 9.   Needless to say the third party was amazed.  I can't remember who they played this prank on...but according to the version of the story that I heard they had the person convinced and a bit freaked out.  

When I was 13 I asked my Mom if I could please back the car down the driveway so that I could play basketball (the car was blocking the hoop).  Mom said ok and gave me her key ring.

I headed outside super excited about getting to drive the car all by myself.  I put in the keys and turned the ignition and then I put the car into reverse (or so I thought - it was a stick shift) and then I let my foot off of the clutch.  To my utter horror the car jumped forward - right through the garage door.

I was fine - no physical harm but I was terrified about what my Dad was going to say.  Mom agreed to take the heat for me but she made me promise that after I turned 16 and got my drivers license I would tell Dad that I was the one that drove the car through the garage door.

For the next 3 years I got to hear my Dad make comments about Mom's driving  - always razzing her about the accident.    Mom would always turn around and look at me but just smile and take it...knowing that I was going to have to come clean when I turned 16.

After I got my DL I came home and told Dad the truth.  The looks on Mom's face was priceless!!!    She covered for me on many occasions - this was just one of the most memorable. 

When I was in 3rd grade I had my Mom for a teacher for science class at Atonement Lutheran School in Louisianna.  Having her as my teacher was fun but the best part was hearing all about what she made the older kids do during their science classes.

One day on the way to school we had to stop at the bait shop and pick up some night crawlers.  I didn't think about it too much until later that afternoon. 

During recess the older kids approached me and told me all about how my mom had them use tweezers to submerge the nigh-crawlers in formaldehyde until they were dead so they could dissect them.  Evidently worms do not die easily - there was quite a bit of thrashing around.  The girls were completely grossed out and the guys thought it was the coolest day of school ever.

My mom was a legend at the school from that day forward!