It has taken some time for me to gather my thoughts and what
I want to say.
At the beginning of this year, Monica found a letter I had
written her in 2010, just as we were moving out of our shared apartment on
Beach Ave. She sent a copy of it to me. Reading it now, it captures so much of
what I would say to her today. It’s almost a love letter, which makes me laugh.
While it tells her how much I love her, it also captures what I thought our
future as friends would be: dinners, wedding celebrations, children’s birthday parties,
travels, etc. It’s heartbreaking we will not share all these moments together, but I
have a lot to look back on.
We got to know each over a weekend marketing promotion for
Merritt Mountain Music Festival. We had this crazy idea to decorate the golf
cart we had with the glowing promo necklaces and drive at night towards the
beer garden. We had to quickly make a u-turn as hoards of drunk people came
running after our cart. We looked like a fireball cruising down the field,
until all the necklaces were gone and we were left in the dark, a bit shocked
but laughing hard. We thought it was brilliant. The client, not so much.
Over the years, we shared other weekends away. We did the
slow food bike tour in Pemberton. We drove up to Penticton for wine tours, one
of which we did biking until she got a flat tire and we had to befriend a dutch
family to drive us back to the car. That trip included a float down the lazy
river, which both of us thought it was lame and decided to walk out. Might be
that we didn’t have drinks with us. But that’s what I loved about her. We didn’t
waste time doing something we didn’t want to do. She and I would go out dancing
(even salsa dancing!), and while still having a great time, would look at each
other and say, “let’s go home”. We would leave right there, off the dance floor
and be happy we will have a good night sleep and enjoy an early morning. We had
a blast in Vegas for our Christa’s wedding. The trip started with her being
overly excited while the rest of us were still waking up. Then on the plane, it
hit her how tired she was and I captured her snoozing even before the plane
took off. We went snowshoeing, snowboarding/skiing, rollerblading and hiking. I
never managed to run with her. She encouraged me, but we both knew we couldn’t go
together. She was too fast, and I preferred to turn around at the next set of
traffic lights.
Monica was a big part of our wedding. She was a bridesmaid and
emcee. She cracked some great jokes at my expense during her speech. Only she could
get away with it! She also ran our beanbag race with guests, which ended in a
cloud of dust, a few ripped shirts and bloody elbows. She had the mic most of the
night, and I am glad she did. Her voice and energy carried us beautifully into
the evening.
Monica was the only friend who would open our front door without
notice and yell in her sing-song voice “Hello!” She did this when her and Ryan got
engaged. What a special moment.
She was also the only one who sent texts earlier than I do.
I would often wake up to a text wishing me a great day, and that she had
already gone for a run and was enjoying her smoothie. I would roll my eyes and
then get motivated to get myself up and have a healthy breakfast (notice the run
part missing. Lol).
When Mon was organizing an event, fundraising or sharing a story with her family, I would get these emails that read "Hello Family (and Heather!)". I felt so honored to be considered an extension of her family. And she was to mine. She wanted so badly to be there for me when my stepmom passed away, that she insisted to come to the memorial even if it was days after getting back from Paris and only weeks from having her stroke.
But as I reflect on all the amazing memories (and there are
more), it’s the simple moments I will cherish mostly. It is those when I told
her I loved her at the end of our calls, and she said it back. I hold those
moments tightly right now and will forever.
My heart goes out to Ryan, her family and to all those she
touched along the way.
- Love Heather