ForeverMissed
Stories
Shared by Christianah Ola on September 2, 2010

I'm sitting here not knowing what to say or how to start but I do know that I feel your absence, I know that if you were here a lot of things would be ...different. I wish I had memories shared with you but the reality is that we never met.  Mum has told me a lot about you and I feel glad to be a part of your family tree!  I just hope that on the other side we can meet each other, until then I will proudly represent your family and keep you in my heart!

I Love my Mum, Aunties and uncle which means I love you because you gave birth to them and raised them to be who they are today so thank you and rest in peace!

Solomon Onabanjo

My Grandmother

Shared by Deborah Onabanjo on August 29, 2010

My beautiful Grandmother. Where do I start? First let me say how much I love you, from the bottom of my heart, I do. You see most people believe once people pass away they are gone forever, and the fact that I never even got to meet you, some believe I won't grieve. I strongly disagree because you have been in my heart since I can remember, tearful nights come to my memory because I feel like you were taken from me, that being said you still live on in the four children you left behind (Uncle Tokunbo, Aunt Omolara, My Mum Mojisola and Aunt Opemipo).

I believe I know the role you would have taken in my life, you would definitely set me straight and have been a part time disciplinarian but one with good intentions and visible love. I  remember when I went to Nigeria September 2009 almost every family member or family friend kept expressing how much I looked like you, which let me just add was a boost to my ego because you certainly was a stunner! Everybody says so and I see in your pictures.

I was named 'Yejide' which means 'image of the mother'. Rather than the believe that you came back through me, it means I am the image of you! That's very pleasing since I have heard so many good things about you:

1.)Your Generosity

2.) Gentle, Calm Presence

3.)Beauty - In & Out!

4.) Strength

Many of these characteristics I have, so I guess the name 'Yejide' suits me.

I thank God for the way he created you, nobody knows why you had to go early, the way you did but God knows why he lets Life play out the way it does. I will Love you forever & hope to meet you in Heaven, away from this world.

Love, Your Granddaughter, Deborah Oyinkansola Folashade Anuoluwapo Folashade Onabanjo.

Memorable Highlights

Shared by Christianah Ola on August 23, 2010

Loving Caring Mum, my thoughts are sporadically full of memorable highlights:

·        The night you accidentally experienced your gas lamp blew up while I was sitting chatting with you as you tried to replace the canister.  As soon as it lit up with fire, your immediate reaction was to use your body as a shield for me and push me away from the scene.

·         That massive-sized blue headboard bed of yours you allowed us to creep into with you occasionally where you read/tell us bible stories, the big family picture bible with those celestial beings and scary images of Satan with horns; learning songs and being close to you whenever we needed to be.

·         The day you ‘conveniently’ left us stranded in primary school.  You forgot we were in-between drivers and you had agreed to collect us after school.

·        Your creativity – I can picture you cutting and sewing, putting together an outfit you have conjured up in your mind to create.  You only use tailors for sewing complicated items as you are always the one to make it up as you see fit!  Also your ‘gele’ tying ability was an enviable skill.  You were so adept at creating your own specially designed styles which rapidly became trend setting.  I was so amused recently to read about a gentleman who had created a very lucrative business in the USA as a gele tying expert.

·        Your entrepreneurship initiatives, which are trend setting.  Who can forgot the Africa embroideries clothing designs, the Face to Face ‘fruit machines’, ice cream maker machines, restaurant, Lace store etc.

 

·        Outings – I am salivating even now remembering our `suya’ (Obalende Spot) and cinema treats cruising in your Car to Donna Summer ‘I feel Love’ and Bob Marley Redemption songs Album.

 

·         That Christmas you came back from abroad and gave us a speech about exchanging Christmas gifts.  You had bought yourself a card you asked us to sign for you.  We did start soon after to willingly giving you own gifts.  This sounded like something I have done with my own children Mum, when did become you!

 

·         You applying ‘make up (black khol)’ as you get us ready to go out to friends’ birthday parties and remembering the days of hair straighteners.

 

·        How you clothe us!  We are the first to try your clothing/shoes stocks whenever you have sale items and I am sure we definitely wore your profits.  It was more fun for you making us wear the cloths I suppose too. You must also have taught us our unique appreciation show, which is also repeated the day after.  We always enunciate prayer of thankfulness for your deeds: asking God to continue to provide for you, replenishing your pockets so that the money will not cease and not to have civil problems (relevance anyone?)  This actually sounds a lot better in Yoruba)!

 

·         A picture of us shopping at Broad St market for my white outfit for my high school graduation.  You bought me white lace etc.  This I think was my last shopping outing with you before your passing.  And with this I have thought of when I went to collect my WAEC result at the school when the Principal remarked your Mum will be so proud of you and I broke down.

 

·        Telling me you are having a baby for me and showing my sister to me through a balcony window at LUTH as I was not allowed into your room to view her when she was born.  I remember wanting my own baby after our neighbour had a baby and her daughter who I play with will not allowed me to carry hers!

 

·        How you teased me about my boyfriend – you were observant of my moods when I was happy or sad in the relationship as I would come to the decking outside your bedroom window singing love songs matching said mood.  You even connivingly would suggest that my sister intervene when you noticed our ‘breaks’ period.

 

·        Sitting in front of our bedroom door to forcefully observe us clean out our room in tears when you have reached your limit.  You will not leave until it is spick and span and show no concern for our ‘crocodile’ tears.

 

·        Your quirkiness relating to when you intend to go seeking your debtors.  You believe that the first person you see as you walk out must be male and if it happens to be female it means you will not get the money thus altering your plans to go.  You have occasionally action your own plan ensuring our household females are safely ensconced in our rooms and engineered for a male to go outside pretending to be returning back indoors.

 

You also develop tactic of going at dawn of day with some youngsters you will claim needed upkeep money.  However, I don’t know how well these works Mum since many who owes you big actually never paid up even after your death when consulted and promised!

Mum the Disciplinarian

Shared by Christianah Ola on August 23, 2010

Oh my God, how can we ever forget the struggle we had to obtain our freedom during our teenage years (for me barely eighteen months before losing you)?  You lost a battle to keep us away from the ‘street’ as we battled to lose our identity of being the only ‘best dressed’ individuals with nowhere to go.  We always have to sit in our balcony in our fineries watching the ‘world’ go by and wishing things could be different. 

 

You will not allow us a social outings which does not include you. You had a habit of shouting out our names from the entrance door as soon as you re-enter our home as if to reassure yourself all is well the girls are home.  You realised, as all parents do eventually that it is impossible to curtail teenagers especially when they have discovered boys. You graciously accepted defeat and advice to allow us a bit of leverage once we had become obstinate about wanting our freedom and rights to party.  You acquiescence and met the (boys) men in question still within controlling motives. 

Some incidences I am recalling: 

 

(1)       The Easter Picnic my sister and I planned with our boyfriends and after watching us prepared all the goodies on the day as well as made us do extra chores to win you over, you queried what we were doing, how we are doing it and with whom.  You refused us to go and we ended up defying your authority, which we dearly paid for afterwards.  I remember we brought our aunt who is one of your favourites to plead on our behalf whom you promised your forgiveness of us but as soon as she left it was a different scenario.

 

(2)     The Christmas party we planned with our cousin whilst you were overseas.  To our surprise you returned before your scheduled arrival date and we had to shift our venue from our house to our cousins’ a short distance away.  We told you we were spending the night with our cousin on the day and happily left home with your consent.  You gave us more than a shock Mum when just after midnight you turned up at our venue to escort us home.  You laughed at us sharing you had suspected we were up to something thus you stood on our balcony watchful and confirmed your suspicion seeing young people constantly approaching our gate men.  You then forced information out of him.  But you did accept our pleas darling Mum and allowed us to party away the night after all.  

(3)     How can I forget cutting off our long flowing locks as punishment for defying your authority (this was actually an act you prevented my school from carrying out previously) and the omoroguns (canes, LOL).   Meanwhile, in same manner, Mum, you rewarded us with outings and started trips abroad for one child at a time. Unfortunately for me I did not actually get to travel abroad with you because we lost you weeks to our planned trip. I am also touched remembering your plans to send me to the States for studies after my admission for Mass Communication.  Your exact words upon seeing the University brochure and fees were you will love me to go and will save towards it and I should concentrate on passing my WAEC.

Share a story

 
Illustrate your story with a picture, music or video (optional):