Dearest Natalie,

Jenny and I think of you often...We know you are at peace..  Happy Happy Birthday our sweet angel. 
xoxooxox

Not missing you less, Natalie, and treasuring memories of time spent with you more. Every starry night, ice cream cone, curious cat and the color pink makes you seem very close at hand.

It's snowy and cold in New York. Fitting for this somber day. Miss you always, Natalie.

Tears running down my face for a beautiful and talented young soul who I do not know but do know. I know all to well the pain that Natalie's family and friends now live with daily. I lost my 17 year old son Shayne to suicide on March 3, 2014. I am sending everyone a big hug and a piece of my broken heart to help you through this day.

I can't believe it has been 2years since the passing of our sweet"Natty"
Your generosity of love and kindness will remain with our family forever.
You are forever missed darling angel.
xoxoxoox
Sara Goldman and Family

You were in one of my dreams last week. You were laughing and smiling and in your happy place. It was good to see you.

Well, today I rode my bike up Ella and saw the shed where we sorted through so many things, so much beautiful art and proof of a live deeply lived. Here's a toast to the irrepressible Natalie Fuller!

Love, Karen

Dearest Natalie,

Can't believe your birthday is today. 30 years old!
I remember when you were born..

You have touched so many lives and your angelic spirit continues to live on! We love you Sweet princess
xoxox

Sara and Jenny xoxoxo

Dear Natalie,

I have recently read about your life and the struggles you went through.

May you rest in peace.

"In My Father's house there are many mansions. And if not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?"

My heart aches for your light to shine again. I think of you every day when I look at the Disney Princess mirror. When I look in the mirror, I only see your beautiful smiling face. I still remember your voice and your laugh. Tears.

Yesterday our North Idaho skies saturated us with snow, hail, and hard rain-- contributing to the anniversary day we'd lost you for good. Still, for brief moments the sunlight would seep through the layers of thick mist, just like Natalisms that show up in photos, objects, your creations, and memories of times shared with you in our home, on our boat, biking or walking. Miss you, Sweetie.

You were a burst of energy and always full of smiles. Your one of the bravest people I have ever met. Keep watching over us up there

~Natalie~

In my dreams
you are a white horse
with a white mane
who leaves rainbows behind you
as you gallop from star to star.
The other day I asked you
to take me somewhere
so you carried me to the moon
where I sat like a baby
and powdered myself
with its fine white dust.
And then you took me to a place
where all is possible
all is well
and where we'll never know
a parting of ways.

Natalie’s life continues to impact the lives of millions. The pain of saying “good-bye” never escapes; hopefully knowing Natalie’s life has such profound significance in motivating others for good eases the sting. Most sincere love and hugs to you, Doris.

My heart breaks for you and your family on this the first anniversary of the loss of your daughter Natalie, I know the daily pain you now live with. I lost my 17 year old son Shayne to suicide on March 3, 2014.

Jenny and I will always remember our sweet Natalie's infectious smile and silly laugh! We miss her more than words can ever describe.. She will remain in our hearts forever..
Love and Hugs,

Sara and Jenny xoxoxo

Listening to Doctor jones this morning really put a smile on my face! I wish everyday u were back here with us ! I miss your beauty, your smile, your kind words,. Just everything about u nat! :/

Missing you today . Knowing you are at peace helps get me thru this day. Love and prayers to Doris and family. Her beautiful spirit is still truly missed. Kelly Deshields, Dylans mom

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and walk past my couch and swear I see you eating Cheetos on it. Laughing at how angry you know I will be. You make your presence known in very mysterious ways, my dear squishy. I miss and think about you often.

It feels both like yesterday and an eternity ago that we said goodbye to Natalie. In fact, it has been, tomorrow, March 14, a year. The only silver lining is that she lives on in so many hearts and lives and that she is no longer hurting. Sweet dreams, Nattie Bear. I'll love you forever. - Mom

Today I am in my studio, clearing a path to make 30 pieces of art for a Moscow show coming up. "What's this?" I wondered as I picked through piles and lifted a box. (I haven't had studio time for a while.) Ah, yes. The box of postcards Natalie had collected and that Doris sent to me to use in my art. So as I begin this month long project, Natalie, you will be in my studio with me, and I plan to use a few of the Paris papers in my work.

What a heartbreaking discovery to hear about Natalie's struggles and passing. My heart aches for you, your family, as well as the many friends that held her so dear. My limited memories shine - brilliant, beautiful teenage girl who was thoughtful, caring, and kind. And that SMILE! Sending you love, peace and blessings as you cherish your memories and advocate for mental illness awareness.

Natalie was my closest/best friend in the year before she died. Its hard to make close friends as an adult! i just adored her and she adored me. The day before she died she posted on my facebook ' i love you Anna forEverett'. She brought out the best in me. I am normally a rather grumpy person but when we were together, we just laughed and never had a bad time. I miss her every day.

Natalie died six months ago today. Just this weekend, I came across the following vignette in one of her notebooks. She had written it a year earlier. (With apologies if you already found it on the site. I posted it yesterday but couldn't find it today.)

Better Homes and Gardens 2008
She finds a second clue

She flips through the magazine looking at all the beautiful houses and delicious recipes. She finds a second clue.
    It says, “In the sand, you will find a thing to give you ‘piece’ of mind. She goes to the beach and finds a bottle with a note in it." It says, “you’ve lost your memories from your past life but, in that life, you discovered us. The key is in the place you lost. Use not your eyes to unlock the door.”
She is startled by a voice behind her.
“Confused yet?” he says.
She laughs and clutches her heart.
“Yes! I am very confused. I don’t know who I am. I don’t know where I am. I am not exactly sure what’s going on.”
He laughs. “Don’t worry. Your memory will return in time. I can’t tell you everything, but I can tell you that your name is Natalie, and you’re dead.”
“I’m dead?” she puts her hand to her chest…. Heart’s still beating, eyes still blinking, synapses still firing!
“You crossed over, Nat. You’re in another dimension. You’re in heaven.”
She looks at him, dumbstruck.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Here, let me take you on a little tour. Everyone will be so excited that you’re finally here. We’ve been waiting for you. Especially God.”

Natalie died six months ago tomorrow. Last night, as I continued my journey through her many writings and other creations, I stumbled across the following story she wrote in 2014. It was just the right thing to find at this midway point through the first year without her, like a kiss and a hug from the great beyond.

Better Homes and Gardens 2008
She finds a second clue

By Natalie

She flips through the magazine looking at all the beautiful houses and delicious recipes. She finds a second clue. It says, “In the sand, you will find a thing to give you ‘piece’ of mind."
    She goes to the beach and finds a bottle with a note in it. It says, “You’ve lost your memories from your past life but, in that life, you discovered us. The key is in the place you lost. Use not your eyes to unlock the door.”
She is startled by a voice behind her.
“Confused yet?” he says.
She laughs and clutches her heart.
“Yes! I am very confused. I don’t know who I am. I don’t know where I am. I am not exactly sure what’s going on.”
He laughs. “Don’t worry. Your memory will return in time. I can’t tell you everything, but I can tell you that your name is Natalie, and you’re dead.”
“I’m dead?” she puts her hand to her chest…. Heart’s still beating, eyes still blinking, synapses still firing!
“You crossed over, Nat. You’re in another dimension. You’re in heaven.”
She looks at him, dumbstruck.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Here, let me take you on a little tour. Everyone will be so excited that you’re finally here. We’ve been waiting for you. Especially God.”

I was just thinking about our precious Natalie when an email popped up from Doris .. It was a reminder of the 6month mark of Natalie's passing..Tonight is the eve of the Jewish New Year Rosh Hashanah
This is a time of renewal faith and hope..Our darling Nat brought that to so many of us..She was a lover of all G-D's creations..animals..nature..butterflies..I could go on and on..
May this New Year bring us hope and comfort knowing that the love kindness and compassion of Natalie will continue to sprinkle down to us all! Much Love Always,

Sara
xoxo

Natalie was my childhood best friend. We lived next door to one another and we were inseparable. Natalie and I would spend almost every waking moment together playing with our Barbie dolls, spending the night at our respective houses, watching movies and simply having tons of fun. One of my favorite memories of sweet Natalie was when she told me that she created the word "shenanigans." She said with confidence, "Jenny, shenanigans is a word I just made up!" Then she explained the meaning of it. I just thought, wow I have the smartest best friend in the entire world!

When Natalie moved to Colorado, I was heartbroken. There wasn't anyone else who could ever replace my best friend. After Natalie moved, we would consistently write letters to each other. I would scream with pure joy and excitement when my mom would tell me that a letter from Natalie arrived in the mail.

Last week, my mom came across an article Doris had written about Natalie's passing. Both my heart and that of my mom's shattered when we heard this unbearable news.

Natalie is a person who enriched, enlightened and brighten my life. She truly had a heart of gold. Her love of life, free spirit and humor were contagious. She inspired me to be a better person. I will miss her beautiful heart and soul.

Our thoughts and prayers are with Doris, Don, Greg and the rest of the Fuller family. We love you forever, dearest Natalie.

-Jenny and Sara Goldman

I loved Natalie very deeply. She was a good friend to me. We used to talk for hours. I'm sick with myself for not being a better friend to her. I wish I could have been more there for her. I don't meet good friends like her very often. When I moved suddenly I left her digits on the side of my fridge. I wish I could do things over again. I remember her being especially happy when she was on vacation sailing in Washington D.C. I also remember the last time I spoke with her was well into the night. And I would have stayed up with her all night had I known how to save a life.

I learned about Natalie from a recent article I read, written by her mother, near the anniversary of her daughter's passing. I wanted to come here to express my deepest condolences to Natalie's family. I am sorry for your loss.

I also come here from the perspective of someone in what I believe is a similar position as Natalie. For someone like me, the despair is crippling. The burden is unbearable - many times it's so bad I can't get out of bed. I have contemplated relieving myself of future pain often, even as recent as a few minutes ago. It can be hard for another person to appreciate the feeling of drowning in loneliness, and wishing that you were better than you are - not for yourself - but for others that care about you; good enough for what they deserve, not what you are. I am so, very tired. Every part of me is weary - being worn away.

I do not believe that Natalie wanted the result of her passing to have so much pain to her friends and family. I believe that Natalie was carrying a weight that became too much to take. She sought peace, to finally get some rest, and to be free of all that burdened her.

I hope that others will learn compassion, and more awareness and less stigma is possible within our society.

Rest in Peace Natalie.

Natalie was our wrestling manager. I remember her as being smart, energetic, and possessing a positive disposition. A profound loss. Our prayers are with Doris and the rest of her family.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry for your loss. I did not know Natalie but I do understand losing a child. My 18 year old son, Tyler, took his life almost 2 years ago. Just like Natalie he was bright, did well in school, loving, just a great human being. The kind you of person you hope your children grow up to be. He also suffered from Mental Illness as his last letter said he was mentally exhausted and that nobody would understand what his thoughts did to him. I tried to move heaven and earth the 2 months I did know about it but he was determined.....I wish you the comfort of knowing there are people who deeply care and understand. The sadness and emptiness will probably always be there but you do learn how to deal with the feelings better. I hold on the all the happy memories and there were many! Thank you for doing what you do to bring awareness and resources for this disease. Something I did not have. Always know, Natalie is proud of you and free of the mind that was trapping her. She is your Angel at every step of the way. She will never be forgotten and always be loved! Godspeed sweet girl.....

I did not know Natalie personally. I knew nothing about her until tonight when I came across the article "The ‘demons’ got my beautiful, loving daughter" on www.msn.com. I was moved by the severity of her illness and how quickly it appeared with no brain injury or family history.

I want to leave this tribute to send the Fuller family and everyone close to her my condolences and wish the best in the future dealing with the loss.

I did not know Natalie , many Condolences .. I wish i knew her and could have spoke with her .. I have my fair share of demons after serving in Combat both in Afghanistan and Iraq , Rest Peace Natalie You May Be Gone but Never Forgotten .

As someone who similarly lost a loved one (my Mother) to a similar condition in a similar situation with a comparable progression, my sympathy and support are extended to the family. This is such a horrible disease, I pray for the day it ends.

To ALL that miss Ms. Natalie..what a sad ending to such a fighter...my 14 year old daughter also suffers from severe bi-polar and to what started as what I thought was a strive for attention (ex: self harm, hearing voices, staying up all night), numerous hospitalizations, bad diagnosis & treatment plans) is now a full fledged plea for society to get it! Mom's know their children better than anyone and if we really listen we can tell when they are honestly communicating and this evil disease that Laken and Natalie suffer/suffered is just that "an evil disease".....not chosen it's victims and it needs to be recognized by a society as a whole in hopes that more losses such as the loss of Natalie do not continue...her story and that of her family's is mirrored in many families...and we lay helpless at times in how to save amazing lives who suffer this tragic illness. I am to my utter core heartbroken and sorry for the loss of this amazing young woman to all that are suffering without her. Rest assured that GOD himself knows of this illness and that the victims are innocent and handicapped to try and beat it. Thank you for sharing Natalie's story so that others such as my family may keep motivated in fighting the fight to support and help find a way to allow these suffers options in living with such an illness and in finding tools to help in the struggle this disease presents to all that live among it. God bless and give you strength dear family and friends of Natalie....may you find strength in the positive that sharing Natalie's story will bring to so many and in spreading our families are NOT ALONE in its devastating effects. Sending hugs and prayers of strength to you all!
Sincerely,
Tanya

I am from Mexico. Mental illness does not know about race, gender, borders. It exists everywhere and it is so hard to understand. People prefer to look away. Pretend the person does not exist, that it is a phase, and it will pass. I lost my husband to mental illness. My children will never know who his father really is. I understand Natalie's struggles because I see them in my ex husband. Talented people immersed in a cloud of darkness and loneliness, where there is no one else but them. Drifting away from the people who really love them. This is a beautiful tribute to Natalie and all the others.

God bless you as you travel forward from Natalie's death. I was moved to read your article about Natalie and her struggle with mental illness. I am convinced that her life will truly make a difference in the lives of others suffering from mental illness and their families who love them. It will come through you who will tell her story.

Thank You for sharing your beautiful daughter's life with everyone. How brave and strong you are! We have no choice do we?!
I lost my daughter to the demons too in 2011. Your daughter reminds me of her so much. To meet her visit her virtual memorial I made for her - say her name - keep her memory alive
http://Courtney-Coin.Virtual-Memorials.com

I too have a bipolar diagnosis and over the past 10 years it has been a nightmare. I did not know Natalie, but I have read about her journey living with this dreadful disease. My prayers go out to her family and friends who are left with a void in their lives with the passing of their beloved Natalie Fuller. I can only hope that society learns from her example to live on in spite of the disease and to ensure that mental illness is given the same weight as other life threatening diseases. I am a firm believer in life after death, and I believe with all my heart that Natalie is in a far better place devoid of all her physical and mental restrictions. God has set aside a place for her in heaven. She will come to Christ and be welcomed into the kingdom of heaven , while I will continue to battle the disease that she eventually succumbed to.

Natalie you are my inspiration and I would have loved to have known you.

Your brother in Christ,
Regis T. Hyde

I did not have the privlege of knowing Natalie but I am very sorry for your loss. I have just read Natalie's story of her struggle with bipolar disorder. As someone who has just been diagnosed Bipolar reading her story has made me feel less alone in the world. God bless you and Rest in Peace Natalie.

I did not know Natalie or her family. I came across this article about her and my heart aches for her and her family.. I work in the field and when I hear stories like these it makes me so sad... I am so sorry... She seemed like she was a beautiful young lady.. God got another angel..

After telling my son sometimes I have to break my day into small time frames to get through some days because of a difficult time I was going through He told me yea I know I do that every day Dad.
It broke my heat to hear him say that.
I pray his Demons don't get him.

God Bless Natalie Ann Fuller and her Mom for shedding such light on this most horrible Disease.

Beautiful girl. Beautiful mom. Natalie's spirit is felt by many even those who did not have the honor of knowing her as I did not ever meet her. I will help spread her word as she was put on this Earth for a reason and that is to educate and inspire us . Mom, please know that she is truly reaching us and making a difference. She is doing the job that she was put on this Earth to do. Thank you Natalie for inspiring us so and we will give back in honor of your legacy. We will continue the work that you have started. We are here for you. Mom, please feel better in knowing that her spirit is reaching out to the world and making a difference. We feel her.  Lots of love and hugs! -Antonia

Suffering from the same diagnosis I empathize and sympathize with the struggle Natalie went through. Having the strength to walk through life with this affliction is one of the scariest, heartbreaking things a person and their families will go through. Natalie, your bravery for giving us a voice in your short time here has inspired me to continue my journey no matter how difficult it may become. I believe your watching over the world to continue your efforts in educating and supporting those with this mental illness. Thank you and god bless

I have never met nor heard of Natalie until reading the article her mother wrote in the Washington Post. I sit here now feeling an overwhelming sense of hope that flourishes from Natalie's strength. I pray that she now is at peace with God and that her family will forever cherish the memory of such an amazing person.

I just read about Natalie's struggle with bipolar illness and my heart goes out to her family. These mental illnesses strike when a young person is just starting out in life. My son was diagnosed with schizophrenia at the age of 19 and 7 years later as being schizoaffective. He is now 31. At last count he has been hospitalized 30 times and the latest was just last week. It is so true that without the meds, it is a pure living hell. My son has been on and off his meds for too many times that I care to count. The voices and hallucinations are vicious. Everyday is a roller coaster not knowing when the severe depression will set in. I hope Natalie is at peace now. She is truly beautiful.

Mrs Doris Fuller, We do not know each other, but yet when I read what happened I have to say I feel like we have a huge connection, I want to send my most deepest condolences to all of Natalie's family, I hope your stronger then I have been, my daughter Christina age 22 passed away February 6, 2014, she had her first major episode at 19, she has been in and out of hospitals, had the same exact symptoms as your daughter, the last 6 months of her life she became very depressed, but you still never think there gonna die by suicide, she stepped in front of a train also, suicide like this is the most difficult thing a human being can go threw, my heart goes out to you mrs fuller and family, I am Christina's mother and I am still grieving, and have been going to suicide meetings, therapists, any kind of help I can latch on to, I miss my daughter so much, the pain has been the tortures of hell, I know what your feeling and I'm here if you ever want support, god knows I need all the support I can get , I felt I just had to share since we experienced just about the same tragedy. RIP Natalie and I hope you and my daughter are angels watching over us. GOD BLESS

I will keep you and your family in my prayers, I am in morning with you I understand the pain you are feeling! My brother who was 37, took his life too 3 days after Natalie in 3/17/15. We are so heartbroken as well. We did not know about this demon he was battling so we couldn't even help him because he never told us! Now both Natalie and Eddie are in peace no more pain!