I can't believe you would have been 18 years old next month.  Today is 1/16/16.  I miss you, still, so very much, my sweet baby, boy. I pray, as you know, every day to you...our time together....Lately, I have been thinking about when we would lay on my bed together, and you would run your fingers through my hair - I miss that.  I lay at night and sometimes do it - thinking of your fingers running through my hair - I know it's you....it is!!!  I look out the window and talk to you....God how I miss you baby - Happy 18th Birthday in Heaven - Mommy loves you so very, very, very much!!! 

Oh, Nicholas...I can't believe it will be 2 years since you have gone to Heaven to be with God.  It seems like yesterday that you were with us.  I miss your smile, your touch, and you!!!  I exist and live for Julia, Doug, and family who are here on earth with me...sometimes I prayed to just be with you....I pray every day to you, Margie and my Mom.  I know the Blessed Mother has taken you under her wing to watch over my baby boy.  I know Aunt Margie and Grandma are watching you as well.  Miss and love you so much very much my sweet baby boy!!!

I waited for you for so long, Nicholas.  You were 3 weeks late coming into this world.  I was so excited, and nervous.  I was going to be a new "Mommy".  Wasn't sure I was ready for you.  God gave you to me.  It was to be!!!  Nicholas Josef Guasco was born February 21, 1998.  The best day of my life.


It is so very hard for Mommy to write this about you.  I have trouble adjusting to the fact that you are no longer with me.  It does not seem real to me, even now, 17 months later.  I smell you, and feel you with me.  I am still trying to understand how you are no longer with me/all of us.


It's so difficult for me to write about your childhood, when I feel it was so very short.  Who writes about a young child who has left us so soon.