Happy New Year, Nichole,

Another year without you , and it breaks my heart.  I am gonna really try hard to live my life without you, but it ain't easy.  I still think about you all day every day.  People say that the pain gets better with time but maybe my body is not allowing that to happen.  I try to think about the good times we had and that helps sometimes.  People can't tell me how to grieve because I was with you at the end.  I watched you take your last breath and I still have nightmares about that   Whatever you tried to tell me at the end, I guess it was not meant for me to know at this time.  Save it, so when we meet again you can tell me, until then, continue to rest well, love you and miss you

Merry Christmas Nichole, dad and I are in Orlando sitting around in our stank pajamas.  This is the 3rd Christmas without you, and I must say, it hurts like its the first.  I still can't muster up some Christmas spirit, perhaps next year, or maybe never.  I always considered my self to be a strong human being , but not so true.  Your brother took up your slack for games systems for Christmas, but I'm sure they are not much fun without you.  Neisha seems to be coping, but I can tell in her voice sometimes when she is missing you.  Wayne is hooked up with seems to be a nice young lady, and he seems happy.  Have not spoken to Natalie in months, but I'm sure when she is ready , she will call me.  Jourdan is going to high school next year, and is keeping up with good grades, you would be proud of her.  That's all for now, baby girl, love you to the moon and back.  Continue to rest in paradise. Mom

Wow....... Its been 2 years since we had our last conversation and all i can think of is how we met during the Ravens AFC Championship game and playing Call Of Duty and yes, you kicked my butt alot that night. I could never forget the times we had and i really enjoyed myself with you. I always think of you every night and i cry myself to sleep thinking about you and its sucks that your not here. Yes, things were rocky at 1st, but we managed to rise above it and move on from it. I have a decal with your intials on it and i will never stop wearing it on my helmet. I hope one day we can be together again. I miss you and it hurts for me to write this and rest in paradise.



                                                                                                                    Love,
                                                                                                               Ernest F. 

I really don't how to explain how I am still here and you are not. The day you left us plays over and over in my mind. I keep asking what could have been done differently. I am so sorry that I wasn't there to comfort you. I know you are okay with the Lord and that it is our selfishness that makes us want you to be here in the flesh. I still cry but not like I use to, not because I don't miss you but because thinking about it makes me go numb. We are all trying our best to be strong but with the holidays approaching I am not sure how we will hold up. I feel like I just want to sleep from thanksgiving to new years day. You are forever missed and I pray you are at peace. I hope you are enjoying your heavenly reward. I am trying to live my life in a way that will ensure I will see you again. Come talk to me in my dreams please, lol. Come call me fatchops or make fun of my hair and clothes. Missing you every second of every single day. Love you sis. LOL, I remember that time before our Hawaii trip and you talked about renting a car and driving over there and daddy said why, so you can drive us into pearl harbor ??? that was hilarious. So many memories... 

I remember taking this pic last year on this date. We had to force you to show up for your birthday dinner, and then you left early because you had a date. We debated, as usual, my photography skills, but eventually you were pleased with at least one picture. I remember everyone telling you how pretty you looked, and you being weirded out by it all. But you had a good dinner, and a cheap one at that, because you only ordered salad. 

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So ... I never heard of this show called "24" .... SO in true Nik fashion ... she suggested I watch an episode.... I told her i wasn't interested .... she said Weezy... have I ever steered you wrong... so I thought... nah not really .. ok ok .. i'll watch an episode.. she was like" well if you don't like it just don't watch any further"... so I watched an episode... maybe about 4 episodes later.. she pokes her head into the back room of my aunt and uncles house... I'm WIDE awake hooked... she just closes the door and backs out the room... probably about 8 hours later.... everyone in the house is waking up... i'm still sitting there watching 24... she just laughed and in the way we communicated it didn't take much ... we just understood that I approved... and history takes it from there.... this is one of MANY stories we shared... that i'll post soon.....