I can't believe it's been a year and a half. This is the first time I've been able to even consider posting on this site...selfishly. Grief is a jerk.

Nic was there for a LOT of things! I remember very clearly the day I picked up Dudley from KC Pet Project. I'd NEVER had a pitbull before, and I called her and just said, "Help. I did a thing." And she replied with, "Oh, shit...what have you done?" After I explained, she had me bring him to her house to test him with other dogs. He did great! We sat on the patio and together we decided he was a total dork and needed a dorky name...hence Dudley. He played with her dogs and promptly decided he needed to pee on Nic & Erik's brand-new BBQ grill! That's when we knew he was family and he for sure got to stay!

Nic never loved kids, but she loved mine. My daughter still calls her Aunt Nic and often reflects on what Aunt Nic would say in certain situations. When Marissa's hamster (first pet) died, Aunt Nic took Marissa on her first motorcycle ride, talked to her about life, and made her feel like more of a badass than a crying wreck. That was Nic!

No matter how much she went through, she always thought of and wanted to help others. I first met her at a scuba club Christmas party. I'm a total introvert, so when I walked in and saw ALL the people, I gravitated toward the cool chick with the blue/black hair. I figured she'd be fun to talk to. And the rest is history!

It's funny how life works out. Right before she passed, Nic introduced me to a brand-new friend/little sis that I'm sure I'll be friends with for life. I feel her presence every day, and I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to call her! Most recently, when Marissa's new gecko turned into a teenager and wanted nothing to do with ANYTHING unless it was a female gecko. I mean, seriously, only Nic would know how to handle that, right?!

If I could have 5 minutes or 10 or 20 with her, I'd gladly take it. I don't share much of my stuff, but this one's for Nic:

a minute

if a minute takes a lifetime
then we’d all take three with you.

a rebel, a friend, a rock, a sage,
your wisdom surpassed your human age.

you fused your heart with those who knew
the hurt that helped your soul renew.

we loved you then and love you still
for your relentless strength and steady will.

we love you for your wisdom, humor, sass, and grit,
your acceptance, beauty, and sharp-edged wit.

we’re grateful for the times you listened and clinked a glass,
for every time you helped us kick some ass.

there’s never a day that you’re not here,
a whisper on the wind, a voice so clear.

are you a star, a shadow, a guide?
the feather that floats down by our side?

ride free, dear friend…there’s no more pain.
we’ll miss you until we meet again.

I was just thinking of Nicole yesterday. Nicole always had something positive to say to me. She went out of her way to tell me something nice. It was always unexpected but ever so appreciated. Her words always meant a lot to me.