Bus Stops, Bikinis, Baseball

There were once two young mothers of different generations. One grew up on the east coast & another right around here. Both wanted something better for their newborns & decided to give them up to families who desperately wanted a child. The adoptive parents of each child felt blessed by God....one couple waiting over 2 years and another getting a surprise call in the middle of the night. Both children were successful in their short lives. Nina went on to be a beloved wife, cherished therapist, & emerging author. Steve founded one the most revolutionary technology companies in the world. We all know the rest of their stories.....

There are so many things I can say.... but I think my sister has helped me put together what she would want me to say...sprinkled with a little humor. In a nutshell, the overriding question she will ask us, when we meet her and her God on the other side is...very simply... “how well did you love?,... How well did you love?”

There are 3 items I want to discuss... Bus stops, Bikinis, & Baseball... Got your attention?

! Bus Stops

We live in chapel Hill, North Carolina...lots of college students waiting on buses, full of dreams. I always pass a bus stop going up the hill to campus. Sometimes the bus stops & some times it passes students by. You know, that is so much like our lives. We are all at the bus stop. It may have our name at the top & it may not. It may not come for a while, but it will always arrive... listen again...it may pass us up this morning but it will always arrive.

So the bus came early for Nina but she was ready. I have been telling people how spiritual she was on a very universal, non judging level. In fact, she was so secure in her faith that it made all of this so much easier for me to work through. She was already talking & dreaming with my mother on the other side.....sometimes I thought, wait a minute, why canʼt I do that? So what would her & my mother say to us now?... Are you ready baby doll? Who are you waiting with? How are you treating each other? Did you love?

You know it was rare that my sister could sit next to anyone without breaking the silence...just like her mother, Jeff, you are like that too. If there was something that needed to be said or clarified in our family we would hear about it.

About 3 years ago my sister and I clashed heads during her Christmas visit. Great timing, huh? Fr.Patrick who was visiting from Africa referred to it later as ʻworld war 3ʼ. It all had to do how each of us perceived the reality of our motherʼs final days 19 years ago. I tossed a few barbs and Nina, as usual, came back very direct, always saying how she felt. After many uncomfortable tears that stretched late into the night, with the entire family present, we began the process of healing. It took time, but we were able to work things out. We were at a good place with each other when she left....no regrets....no “if I only would haves” (dot, dot, dot).

So, when your bus arrives at the station and all the riders have left, the question to be answered is “how well did you love”?

! Bikinis

Texas really? Why not can Cancun or Paradise Island? or at least, Cleveland...No, it had to be Amarillo Texas, I wore my boots today to remind me of the wonderful people there who helped us along, beautiful, caring people....but no beach, come one Nina!

Nina liked to look good. She looked good in a bikini. However, I am her big brother. I was always her big brother. On more than one occasion I would think, really, are you going to wear that? Isnʼt that a little tight?...Maybe others found it interesting that Nina was a therapist.....therapists are not supposed to look like that, or have so much fun, or go to 18 different countries! Sheʼs a therapist,... really? A therapist is not supposed to wear a bikini or a belly ring (TMI)! Even her close friend Susan told me in Texas that when she first saw Nina she wondered how Nina would relate to her!

The funny thing is that behind her flash there was so much depth, & wisdom. She always had time for you. She spent a lot time with me this summer giving me advice days after I ran over a grandmotherʼs dog while she was walking it with two young girls...it was horrible for everyone involved. She also helped me with a neighbors grown son who was having paranoid schyzoprenic symptoms & how not to respond to his overtures. So she had this pazzaz & this empathy. Both were cherished. My lovely daughter,

Juliet, was always so interested in what Nina was wearing. Infact, after Jeff & Ninaʼs wonderful last visit in May, little Juliet had to go out and get a pair of those swooshy pants because she loved Aunt Ninaʼs so much. So at the end of your life, when your swimsuit no longer fits, the only thing that will matter is ....“How well did you love”?ʼ

! Baseball

Jeff told me Nina hated baseball. She would pull her hair out if she was expected to sit down & watch it. I guess it was too slow for her....She did so many things fast. Did you ever see how fast she ate?? You could lose a finger if you sat a little too close! By the way, did you ever go out to eat with her...as her brother again I rolled my eyes as she interrogated poor servers about her gluten free foods and cross-contamination issues......I am sorry... I am so shallow,... but I am a brother. I had to throw that in.....OK, Back to baseball & leaving this world.....

Nina loved this life, her husband, her work, & so much else.,.. but she did not fear death....in fact it was quite the opposite. Imagine Nina as a minor league baseball player, perhaps playing for the Durham Bulls and she suddenly got the phone call....Nina, the SF Giants are on the phone & they want you! What do you want me to tell them? And she says “are you kidding? I love North Carolina, I have had a terrific time here and I love my team mates, but its the SF Giants & Panda Bear!! Of course, my bags are packed and I am outta here! This is the whole reason of what I am doing and who I am.

Nina loved all of us, maybe that is why her heart kept beating until we arrived in Texas. I am sure she struggled to leave Jeff. But in the end, she so much wanted to be with her Lord, be with the Light, be with both mothers.

So when the last inning is played and roar of the fans is all gone, the only question to be answered is ..... “how well did you love?”

Some Final messages from Nina

As I wrap this up she has left me some messages. We would joke about scaring each other depending who left first.

The first message came when I was working in the driveway soon after I learned what happened. I was still in shock. Trying to do some work to fill the void in my heart. After not seeing a butterfly all summer in my backyard, a beautiful monarch floated over my head & flew away. I knew she was already gone & at peace.

The next message was much later after we returned from Texas. I was wasting some time in Ross Dress For Less while Juliet was taking her dance class. I was moping around and found myself in front of the wall hangings......above me in bright pink was a painting of the simple letters HO...PE. It gets better...just down to the right, perhaps 6 feet away there was another wall hanging that spelled out BROTHER. Together it read... HOPE BROTHER. I stood there with my jaw hanging open & a small tear running down the side of my face.

The the next day I told a few people & thought about it some more & smiled & thought....is that the best that you got?? Ross Dress for Less?? I was hoping you would move something, or scare the crap out of me. Bring it on! ....I then thought about her conversation with God, I can just hear her asking God, “Come on Jesus let me do something really good....canʼt I get him back for all the tricks he did when I was a kid? (shaking my bedroom wall like an earthquake, shoes on top of the doors, vaseline on the toilet seats.....Come on Jesus.” And then Jesus saying “you know we canʼt let you do any of that Superman stuff, thatʼs too easy, we need him to stretch his faith a bit....but I will let you hang up some wall art at Ross Dress for Less! Itʼs subtle but its still good & he will get the message of hope and that you love him.”

She still wasnʼt done though. A couple of days later I was going through some old piled papers and I came across several eulogies from my mothers service as well as a reflection paper my sister had written about the same time that I had never seen before. As I read it, alone that rainy morning, I began to cry...and at that very moment, a loud bang rattled the window behind me that caused me to jump. Expecting to see a bird below the window, I looked out to find nothing. That was her loud message saying “enough of the crying, I am OK, take this experience & draw closer to God, & continue to love....hope brother”.

I have story that was told to me many years ago about drawing closer to God. Once there was an American hunter on a safari in Africa. He began speaking with a local tribesman about God. The African said ʻIt seems you westerners have a different relationship with God than us Africans. Your relationship seems like that of a hunter with a gun looking through his scope at an antelope. It is so distant...it is like “I believe in God...bang, I believe in God....bang. I believe in God....bang. There is a relationship but it seems very far away. For us Africans. mmm,... letʼs see,... it is more like that of a lion pursuing a water buffalo. The lion studies the buffalo, catches its smell & creeps up on it closely. Then, in a split second, it runs after it with bulging muscles kicking up mud & dirt flying in the air, reaching it & wrestling it to the ground & consuming it entirely,as both become one. That is how our relationship is with God.... total commitment, total faith, total oneness. The westerner is just stunned....silent. The tribesman finishes his story by adding......oh, by the way, for us Africans......God is the lion. Nina also allowed God, Jesus, the Light, to wrestle with her, consume her.

I could go on some more, but I will leave you with a few words from that reflection paper that Nina Marie wrote 19 years ago....She was wrestling with her God over my mothers death, leaving a marriage, going back to school, & figuring out what was really important in life.....

She wrote:

“although all these years have been very difficult and I have felt many times that I was fighting for my sanity, I also felt that somehow my mother was guiding me every step of the way and that everything would be all right. I also know that as I look back that I have learned so much from my pain. Many things in life cannot be controlled, I plan for my future but am aware that disappointments, hurdles, or unfortunate incidents can occur at any time that cannot be foreseen. What is most important to me at this stage in my life is to be happy, to pursue my dreams and loves, to spend time with people I love, and to be the best person that I can be.....Sometimes I look back and wonder what my life would be like if my mother was still here,...but then I realize that I cannot change the past, but if I could, I would not be who I am today without my life experiences, both painful & joyous,....and I would not change that for the world”.

You loved well Nina,...we will greatly miss you

Jim Larkin’s Eulogy Celebrating Nina Marie’s Life

Revised on 12/6/2014

 

Nina Marie (NM) would have been 46 on Tuesday, November 18, ten days after Celebrating Her Life in Santa Clara on November 8.  But it was not to be!  She often told me she was a California Gal and would never leave.  Ironically, she died very suddenly with an aneurysm in Amarillo, TX  on October 1, 2014.   As you probably know, this occurred while flying home to the West Coast with her husband, Jeff, after visiting with Jeff’s daughter, her step daughter, Amanda, at Vanderbilt University.

 

NM was born Camille in 1968 and was adopted by us in 1969.  She was named after her new mother, my wife, Nina.  I witnessed my wife Nina’s great capacity for love with our son Keith and I knew there was no greater compliment than naming NM after her mother. Nina.  Accordingly, we named her Nina Marie to avoid any long term confusion between her and her mother, Nina, when older.

  

Fast forward 27 yrs later

The following is what NM wrote (at age 27) after her mother died in 1995 from colon cancer .  “I had a very special relationship with my mother.  The relationship, primarily during my teen years, was often quite stormy. “

 

 NM goes on to say “we were both strong willed with distinct personalities obviously influenced by our age difference and life experiences. That said, my Mom singularly had the most profound beneficial influence on my life.”  Those that knew my wife know this is true and a testament to the woman I proudly called my wife for 33 Yrs.

 NM’s quote continues

“As I review our relationship over the years my mind often drifts back to the beautiful story Mom often told me about that hot sunny day on June 15, 1969 about 8 months after I was born when she and my Dad arrived at the foster home to pick me up from Catholic Charities in PGH, PA.  They were both very excited about taking their “chosen” child home”.  I remember her (as a little girl) looking up with pride when we told the story to others about her being our “chosen” child.   She obviously never forgot this choice of words we often used in her presence during her early childhood.

 

NM goes on to say,  “my Mom’s diaries tell me about how happy and blessed they were to have me to complete their family.”  Tears come to my eyes now, as I read about my Mom’s joyous day when I was given to them and then quickly remember the most tragic day of my life, the day that Mom died.  The three of us were with my wife when she died on Halloween 1995 (one of her her favorite days of the year).  And, at the very end, NM got in bed and held her Mom as she passed.

 

Shortly after my wife’s death, and the end of NM’s first marriage, NM told me she wanted to continue her education by enrolling at DVC JC .  She started school in January 1996 at 28 yrs old while continuing to work full time as a cosmetologist in a WC Salon.  During this time NM returned home to live with me in Moraga until she received her Associate Degree at DVC.

 

While attending DVC she applied and was accepted at UC Santa Cruz to complete the work required on her BA.  She received her BA in 2001.  While at UCSC she also took several off campus paid psychology courses on the weekend while an undergraduate. These classes were normally available only to those with advanced degrees but she was allowed to take them if and when an opening occurred.

 

During this time I was very proud of her personal growth, level of maturity and depth of her conviction about life and her personal goals.  She wasted little time in deciding that she wanted to use psychology at yet another level.

 

In 2002 she applied and was accepted at the CA Institute of Integral Studies in San Francisco and received her MA in Psychology in 2004.  Her personal goal was to become a LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist). As part of the CA state license requirement she had to Intern at a local Santa Clara High School under the guidance of a school counselor for 2 yrs.

 

Once her internship was complete, NM took the CA State test and passed.  She began her successful career as a LMFT focusing her practice primarily on women that may feel, for any reason, devalued that led her to write and publish her recent book titled “Clear Your Fears – 7 Steps to Awaken Your Heart & Spirit”.  Her book is a tribute to her mother because NM was as spiritual in many ways as was her mother and mentor and her spirituality comes thru loud and clear in many chapters in her book.  I simply can’t understand why she was taken so young with so much yet to give!  Read her book and you’ll soon be aware of the magnitude of her depth!

 

While attending UCSC she met and fell in love with Jeff Kalb and married him in December 2002 in a small, family only, wedding in Los Altos Hills, CA.  If not for her death, NM and Jeff would have been married 12 years on December 22, 2014.

 

NM & Jeff last visited us (Keith, his wife Nicole & family and myself) in Chapel Hill, NC in May of this year.  Sean 16, Nicholas 13 and Juliet 10 had a great time with Aunt Nina and Uncle Jeff.  The NC Larkin kitchen will never be the same after the best team “dessert competition” took place!

 

In addition to touring Chapel Hill, and the surrounding area, Jeff, a former high school football coach, gave 16 year old Sean, a football player for Cardinal Gibbons HS JV team in Raleigh, NC,  a few pointers that elevated Uncle Jeff a notch or two up in Sean’s eyes!

 

My last visit with NM and Jeff occurred in late August of this year and was one I’ll remember forever.  The three of us had lunch in Capitola on the beach followed by a trip to a local winery and then came home and spent the rest of the evening talking and catching up.   In fact, we decided that the next time they visited Amanda at Vanderbilt, they might stop in NC on the way and I could join them and/or meet them in Nashville.

 

After my visit, I sent NM an email (in part, it read) “I had a good visit with you and Jeff, though brief.   It’s always good for a parent to see how well their children’s marriage appears to be.  And I see it with both you and Keith and it pleases me.  I’m also pleased to see how successful you are in your chosen profession with two offices  in Campbell and Morgan Hill.  Jeff and I also had some time for a long talk.  Thanks again to you and Jeff for your hospitality” I Love you, Dad. “

 

We always signed emails or ended phone calls by saying that we loved each other.  I would never have forgiven myself if I had failed to tell her I loved her on my last visit.  In fact, in her recently published book Step 1 of 7 is Love and she explains why love is so important in one’s life!

 

I’m here discussing the death of NM that grew up to become a beautiful, educated and confident young woman.  I only hope that time will help heal the hurt and anger I feel with her loss but I must remind myself that I’m confident she’s with her mother and safe and in a better place.  NM’s death was sudden and tragic.  It’s a mystery that no one can fathom, understand or explain.  I don’t know how those without some faith or a measure of belief can handle unexpected and sudden death if, and when, it occurs.

 

Under normal circumstances we all know that the path to death escapes no one - - it’s on the way to that path where differences occur and “we know not where, when or how”.  I’ve listed several things I believe and/or learned with this experience.  I’m not asking you to agree but it helped me through this difficult time and I’ll share them with you.

When all is said and done your family comes first so don’t wait until it’s too late to find this out. If you have differences with your children work them out now.  Many wait until they’re on their death bed to try and reconcile differences, but it rarely works based on my Hospice Bereavement experience.

 

Hug your wife and kids or significant other and don’t be afraid to tell them how much you love them.  Do it often and let them know you mean it. A kiss is even more important as you age. If you’re a parent don’t interfere in your children’s marriage because 1940 is not the same as 2014. Your children will appreciate and respect you more if you simply let them know you’re there and available for them if and when they need you. Do the things you want to do now and don’t put them off. Nobody is perfect - - we all learn from our mistakes & your children will make some. Nina and I were going to travel and see the world after I retired but she unexpectedly died in1995.  The message is loud and clear the future is out of our control so don’t wait unless you have no other choice. Your real friends will normally stick with you through thick and thin. If you don’t try to keep in touch with friends the relationship may die. Nobody kept in touch with friends any better than the two most important women in my life. I’ll also try to take my own advice by doing a better job of keeping in touch with friends and former associates.

 

This is not a sales sales pitch but if you don’t have a copy of NM’s recently published book titled “Clear Your Fears, 7 Steps to Awaken Your Heart and Spirit” I suggest you get it.  In her book she uses examples from her own life and also several of her friends.  (Note she uses “Nina Larkin” in her book)

 

 All proceeds from the book will be directly donated to ending child trafficking an effort that Nina Marie passionately supported.  If you wish to get this book she used in her private practice let me know by email jimlarkin 1632@gmail.com and I’ll see that you receive the information you need. The cost for the book is about $19 and that amount and any excess will be donated to the charity.

 

I also want to thank Jeff for getting Kathryn (Kat James) one of NM’s many girl friends to handle and coordinate the entire program.  She did an outstanding job coordinating a thousand details in a relatively short time. Thank you Kathryn.  And I also want to acknowledge Susan Lehman’s personal help for reaching out to me several times during the past few weeks. 

 

There are many friends that have been close to NM over the years, both from childhood and many more in recent years, and I would like to thank all of them for their friendship to her.  I also know many flew long distances to attend her service and a special thanks goes to them.

 

 

I’ve received phone calls, cards, emails and Catholic mass cards with expressions of their friendship and love for her. 

 

When Susan Lehman and Serena Gentry, two very close Bay Area friends of NM, heard about what happened they immediately flew to Amarillo and stayed with Jeff, Keith and me until we left to return home and I want to thank them for their friendship and obvious love for her.

 

FYI, NM’s organs were saved and donated.  Before we left Amarillo we were told a 54 year old woman was happy when she was told that a match had been found to replace her liver.  We take some solace knowing that NM will help several others carry on with their lives.

 

We have two Catholic priest friends that offered Masses for NM on November 8th.  One of whom is Fr. Patrick Baraza, that many of you knew in Moraga, who now teaches at Gonzaga University in Spokane, WA.  The second is Fr. Jim Hayes SJ of Holy Cross College in Worcester, MA.  Jim, a Jesuit priest, who has been a long time close family friend who knew my brother Don, also a Jesuit priest and recently deceased, and was with us shortly after my wife died, to console all three of us (Keith, NM and me) and does so now with NM.

 

Keep in touch with each other and remember all of the good times and memories you have of NM.  Do remember her often and include either the 18th of November, her birthday and/or October 1, the date of her death or better yet both dates.  And do pray for her in whatever way you connect with your God.

 

I’m fortunate to now live in Chapel Hill, 3 miles from my son Keith with whom I’ve always had a good relationship that I love and respect; Nicole, his wife,  who is like a second daughter and accepts me with all of my faults; and my 3 grand children, Sean , Nicholas  and Juliet whom I love and continue to amaze me with their wide range of “interests and activities”  but never too busy to give me a hug.   I also know NM would not want me to fold my tent so I’ll live with my memories until my number is called!

 

Jeff , I understand how difficult this is for you both now and in the months ahead, but I’ve always told others that I believe if you ever experienced any adversity I was confident you’d land on your feet.  And I still do!  Remember, if you ever want to talk I hope you’ll call me because the welcome mat will always be down.

 

Our Beautiful Daughter, Nina Marie Larkin Kalb

Nina Marie was our Gift from God.

When Keith, her brother, was about three years old we were told that we would be unable to have more children. Nina and I decided we would talk to Catholic Charities, (CC) in Pittsburgh, PA about adopting a child, and preferably a girl.

We attended a meeting with other families that were attempting to adopt and almost all had no children; therefore we left the meeting not very optimistic. We checked from time to time and received little hope from the adoption agency. Accordingly, we decided to plan a second honeymoon in Puerto Rico where we first met on vacation. At about the same time, we sold our city home and moved in with Nina’s parents temporarily until our new home was completed.

(FYI, when one adopts it’s very important that there is a separate room for an adopted child.) 

In early 1969 we received a phone call from Mrs. Creighton, the CC social worker telling us they had a baby girl available in a foster home. We met with her and told her we were in the process of building a new home and temporarily living with Nina’s parents. She also wanted to meet Keith and he immediately won her over!

Keith was so excited when we told him that he might have a little sister that he told Mrs. Creighton that he would let his sister have his room and go up to the “third floor”. This combined with the fact our home would be completed by year end was enough to receive the adoption agency approval for adoption.

NM and Keith got along reasonably well because of the 5+ age difference. And as she got older she knew that if anybody teased or hit her he would be quick to come to her defense..

In 1972 I was asked to take on a temporary assignment to help our Ad Agency integrate two West Coast offices; one in San Francisco and the other in Los Angeles. I agreed to go on a temporary assignment and while there was asked if I would consider a transfer to the West Coast and work out of the San Francisco office.

 After some discussion we decided it would be a good family experience. I accepted the position in time for Keith to begin 5th grade and NM kindergarten. It was a close call because we were dealing in two entirely different housing markets. It took time to sell our home in Pittsburgh while San Francisco was the hottest home market in the country. Fortunately, we both bought and sold within the same month thus able to start both of them in school at the beginning of their school year.

My in-laws never forgave me for taking the family away from Pittsburgh for the second time.

Keith was older, more outgoing and immediately made friends; Nina Marie (NM) was more cautious, shy and, at times, anxious. In fact, NM cites some of her early emotions on Page 26, Step 3: Manage Your Emotions in her recently published book “CLEAR YOUR FEARS - 7 STEPS TO AWAKEN YOUR HEART AND SPIRIT”

As a young girl she made many friendships including several life long friends. Many will attend the celebration of her life in Santa Clara. Several have told us that they will sorely miss her loyalty, friendship and understanding through thick and thin. And she seldom held a grudge, and I can attest to that.

While a senior in high school she took an “off-campus” course in cosmetology and permanent make up. She was very good at her chosen work including weekly work for on-air TV personalities in the Bay Area. What ever she did, she did well!

NM and her mother had their differences, but they always worked them out in the long run, and more so as she matured into a vibrant young woman. After high school she would normally spend her day off with her Mom thus they developed a strong bond with many common interests in the arts including theatre, dance, plays, movies etc. When her mother developed colon cancer in early 1995 NM spent as much time as possible with her until her death on Halloween (Mom’s favorite day of the year). I distinctly remember both NM and Keith in bed with their mother and best friend until she passed.

I’ve told many that I can’t recall NM ever lying to us. I read through her book referenced above and on Page 39, Step 4: Authenticity. She sees it as being “real, truthful and sincere” and that will always be my recollection of her!

NM’s first marriage failed in 1995. Shortly thereafter she decided to continue her education and started at DVC (Junior College) full time while continuing to work in Walnut Creek as a cosmetologist. During this time NM returned home and lived with me in Moraga.

NM did well at school and then was accepted at Cal in Santa Cruz to finish the work required for her BA. I bought a Town House for her because she was 7 or 8 yrs older than her Cal classmates thus had little in common with them. I kiddingly said to some of my friends that when the phone rings it’s going to be a long ride to SantaCruz if she needs me. I’m pleased to report the only time I had to go to Santa Cruz is when I visited. She received her BA in 2001.

 NM had a strong pull toward psychology and helping others. I credit her Mom (my wife) for the positive influence she had on NM over the years. In addition, she took occasional paid weekend classes typically limited to professionals with advanced degrees.

While attending school, NM met and subsequently married Jeff Kalb, in December 2002. In NM’s book she also credits Jeff for more than meeting her marriage expectations. Jeff and NM were unable to have children but Jeff had a daughter, Amanda, from his previous marriage. Amanda, her step-daughter, attends Vanderbilt in Nashville and had a close relationship with NM. In addition, both she and Jeff continued to maintain their friendship with her first husband and former in-laws. This rarely occurs in most relationships!

In 2002 she applied and was accepted at the California Institute of Integral Studies.in San Francisco and received her MA in Psychology in 2004. All students as a condition of graduating were required to prepare a program and perform it themselves in what was called a “Self Revelatory Performance”. NM chose a presentation called “Uncovering Stillness” that was beautifully done with dance and acting that brought tears to those of us in attendance.

NM’s goal was to become a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and her first step was to work in a Public High School in Santa Clara for two years under the guidance of one or more teachers. Once done, she took her CA State exam and passed and started her very successful career as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.

Just before her untimely death she had two offices, one in Campbell and the second in Morgan Hill.

As her Dad, we were very close and frequently communicated. Jeff and NM came to visit us in Chapel Hill. NC (Keith, his family and myself) this past May and then I visited with her and Jeff on the West Coast in August. After my visit with them I sent an email to her. In part, it reads as follows:

 “ I had a good visit with you and Jeff even though brief. It’s always good for a parent to see how well their children’s marriage appears to be. And I see it with both you and Keith and it pleases me. I’m also pleased to see how successful you are in your chosen profession. Jeff and I also had some time for a good discussion. Thanks again to you and Jeff for your hospitality”. I love you, Dad

We also planned for their next visit to see Amanda at Vanderbilt in Nashville but it’s not to be!

I know my grief will continue for some time. I go to bed at night and I see myself carrying NM from her foster home and at the same moment remember her as a grown, beautiful, educated and confident young woman that she became. Her book is a tribute to her mother because NM is as spiritual in many ways as was her Mom and mentor. I simply can’t understand why she was taken so young with so much still to give! Read her book and you’ll soon be aware of the magnitude of her depth! 

One last point resonates with me. She never once told me about any personal discussions between her and her clients. She maintained the confidence she held with each of them and I marvel at that!

I do believe she’s in a better place and with her mother and family and that helps eliminate some of the pain.

Read her book and you’ll understand why she was loved by so many for her wise words and obvious spirituality.

Keep in touch with each other and remember all of the positive effects and good memories you have of her. Try to remember her on either the 18th of November, her birthday, and/or October 1, the date of her death. And do pray for her in whatever way you connect with your God.

Jim Larkin, a proud Dad,