MY SISTER, MY BEST FRIEND
People have sisters but how many are blessed with soul sisters? Someone who would not only be a good listener, share with you your joys and sorrows but be able to hear the outpourings of your soul. Such was our relationship that we could almost read each other’s thoughts and feel what the other person was going through, sometimes even without having uttered a single word. Sundays was the highlight of my week when I got up with a feeling of lightness in my heart because that was the day when we spent an hour or so exchanging all that had been going on in our lives the past week - from news that was important to the most mundane of things.
We became really close once I passed out of school. She was not just my sister but my best friend. Growing up with her was so much fun, because not only did we have our little adventures of doing things that all young girls do, but we always had each other’s back. She could always very skillfully manage to get her way around our mother for permission to go out, and once the permission was granted , neither the heat of Nagpur’s summers nor the rains could stop us.
She always had this desire to excel in whatever she was given to do whether it was academics or the dance classes she attended in her childhood. The image of her sitting and crying because she had come fourth in class instead of her usual second or third rank is still fresh in my mind. I always thought she had it easy because she has been blessed with a high IQ, but it was only when she was preparing for her post-graduation exams did I notice that a lot of hard work also went along with it.
The bond that we had, just strengthened over the years, especially once I got married and left the house and later when she went off on a scholarship to the US for higher studies. She made it a point to visit India every single year without fail, laden with gifts for all of us. It must have been difficult financially when she was a student managing on her scholarship money and the odd jobs she did, but nothing could stop her from wanting to spend time with us, at least once a year. The day Ritika my daughter was born she was so happy. She wanted to celebrate because I had a daughter. She always considered Ritika to be more her daughter than her niece and indulged her in every possible way. I don’t remember buying many clothes for my daughter in her childhood because she was gifted with so many pretty dresses by her Chotomashi (Aunt). I remember our excitement on getting news of her marriage and a few years later waiting to see Rahul, her son, on his first trip to India. Those were such happy days. One just had to see her enthusiasm and excitement while planning my daughter’s wedding. She felt equally responsible to make sure everything was planned days ahead to give her the perfect wedding and insisted on buying most of the stuff for her trousseau and getting them packed and decorated. I remember how much she cried when I spoke to her on her own marriage day in the US because she was missing us so much. Thank God for our cousin Bubundi, and brother-in-law Pinky, who were always there for her, and whom she loved dearly. They were the only family she had there, who not only got her married but were always there for her. Their house was her refuge. I remember my first trip to the US. It was one of the best trips of my life. I am so grateful to have Bubundi and Pinky in my life, and of course my dear sister who made it all possible.
We went through our difficult periods when our mother was sick, and later diagnosed with cancer, undergoing 7-8 surgeries. All the travelling back and forth to be by her side, the hospital stays drained us out physically and emotionally but since we were always together in our struggles to help her to heal and recover, the trauma was less than it would have been if we had to do it alone.
Our bond just strengthened over the years…we shared so much, more than what I have done with anyone else in my life. Pouring out your heart and baring your soul is something very few people can do, but such was our relationship that we could do it with each other.
We all know that we have to leave this world one day but nothing prepares you for the sudden death of someone who you hold very close to your heart, who made life so much better and joyful by just being around. How do you say good bye to someone like that, someone who gave all she could to make your life a little better, a little happier. I remember when I first got to hear of her death, my first words to my husband were, ‘No, how could she go? She was so much a part of me’.
Now I just have memories that I have to live with…. Memories of a woman who was caring, dutiful, courageous, principled, and dignified. Goodbye my dear sister and friend, you will always stay alive in my heart.
