By Aditi (Mithu) Chowdhury

A REQUEST TO ALL READERS: Please suggest filling in any gaps or information that you might have.

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Nirmalya (Bapi) Ghosh was born in Bangalore on March 12, 1950 to Diptish Kumar Ghosh and Sabita Ghosh.

His father, an engineer from Bengal Engineering College (now Bengal Engineering and Science University), Shibpur, Howrah district of West Bengal, joined the pre-Independence RAF/IAF in 1948 as a Technical Instructor, spent the early years of service in the South where the Technical Institutes were located — Defence Services Staff College, Wellington, Ooty; Air Force Training Centre, Jalahalli (north of Bangalore), which he helped set up during the transition from RAF to IAF. Later he moved to the newlyformed Education branch of IAF.

MILESTONES

1953-54 – Started school in DPS (Delhi Public School), Mathura Road. This was the first of the DPS schools founded a few years earlier (it’s among the largest chain of private schools in the world today). Classes were then held in tents on this huge tract of land, mostly empty, the tents miles away from each other. I was sent to the same school, but because I got lost every other day (there are hilarious oft-repeated stories about my getting lost, a few pretty worrisome, though I don’t remember, I was only three years old!) we were both transferred to Bal Bharati Air Force Children’s School which was closer home (we lived on Pandara Road). Even there I successfully got lost a few times.

It was in the Pandara Road flat that the seeds of his passion for lifelong friends and family were planted in his heart and bloomed. Our neighbours were Khukunimashi and Dassarma kaku who became part of our family along with their daughters Kumkum and later bouncy Bulbul. The main doors of the two flats were always open, like one large house and, even at an age when I ought to have known better, I thought we were real sisters. That’s how Dada looked upon them till the end, his very special pet being Kumkum’s daughter Rupa, who shares her birthday with him.

1960– Baba was transferred to Jalahalli, 17 miles from Bangalore city, and we both went to Balwin’s (different for boys and girls). We left home at 6am and returned at 6pm. A large section of schoolchildren from the satellite towns of Bangalore were ferried by HMT (Hindustan Machine Tools) buses to school and back. The bus first took us to the HMT compound where we got onto a different set of buses for various schools. Unlike La Martiniere or Bishop Cotton in Bangalore, Balwin Girls and Balwin Boys were in different parts of the city so we didn’t take the same bus. Even though I was eight then, I often got lost, or I should say mislaid, and Dada and his friends had to desperately hunt for me in the HMT compound on the way back, sometimes sleeping under a seat in a bus that had been garaged, sometimes on another bus going to Yelahanka or Jalahalli East (we lived in West), sometimes walking into a restricted area.

He had this innate ability to attract people even that young and found a way out of his daily dilemma by making friends with children on my bus, especially the girls, and some of them would guard me till they could hand over the package. Still I got lost sometimes. We were dropped off on the main road, and he had to half-carry half-drag me all the way home, which was quite a distance.

In fact, according to Dada, I was an inveterate walkabout, missing every other day for two-three hours, to be found later reading up in a tree or chasing squirrels in a ditch. These stories were part of the family lore that he would narrate at our family gatherings, embellished with each retelling and leaving everyone in splits. I can’t vouch for their veracity as I don’t remember much and the little that I do is possibly from hearing it repeated again and again. Now there’s no family and no lore anymore.

1962 – Anyway, he could stop looking out for me when Baba was transferred to Barrackpore, about 15 miles north of Kolkata, in 1962 and he went to Calcutta Boys’, class of ’65. Then he studied Physics honours at St Xavier’s for a year to prepare for the Indian Institute of Technology (IIT) entrance exams. However, he had no intention of studying either science or engineering. He got in but told my trusting parents (who were in Kanpur then) he hadn’t qualified and went off to Hindu College, Delhi University, in 1967. Parents got to know only when they received a reminder from IIT Kharagpur that they were holding his seat but by then it was too late. I think classes had already begun in DU.

1967-70. Hindu College, Delhi University. He studied Economics (honours) for his B.A.

1970 – In‘70 he joined MA Economics in MCC (Madras Christian College) – Baba was in Tambaram then and the MCC campus adjoined the Tambaram Air Force Station.

Dada didn’t like staying at home and some months or a year later, when he came for a vacation to Calcutta, an uncle of ours told him to go to HTA (now JWT) where they were recruiting trainees. He took one look at the roomful of job hopefuls — postgraduates and MBAs all — and decided he had no chance. When this uncle came over the day before the interview and asked to read what he’d written (the hopefuls had been asked to carry a 500-worded article on “Why I want to join HTA”) Dada told him he hadn’t bothered as he didn’t stand a chance. He got a dressing down and was forced to sit and write. He was taken on the strength of those 500 words, which is also part of HTA lore.

1973? – He joined OBM (O&M now) in ‘73 and later set up their subsidiary Artig ‘79-‘80 (see Sumit Roy’s LinkedIn remembrance on this site).Then in the mid-90s he started his own agency, Empathy.

Mid-2000s— He joined some academics to launch the Calcutta Business School, which he literally built up from scratch, buildings and all, almost single-handedly. Classes began in 2008. He was the administrator and also taught some classes. About five years ago, the founders who had grown old sold the college to a  promoter, who saw it only as a money-making concern. It was around this time that Ma became ill. He looked after her like a baby and her death was a very big blow. Dada retired at 65 but was re-employed for two years. The new owner(s) offered him an extension on very insulting terms.They had already eroded his position considerably and he finally quit last year (2017).

When news of Bapi's passing reached his friends and family, many people posted messages on Facebook and LinkedIn.  

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Tapashi Chaudhuri: Bapi is gone... no more Dream Girl!

Nooshin Mowla: Mashi I have no words. This is unreal.

Trina Chakravarti: Mithumashi, I don’t have words. Wish I was there with you. Sending so much love, I’ll call this weekend.

Purba Rudra: Aditi di so sorry to hear the news. Tomar shathe onek mil achhe cheharay! tomake aar ki gyan debo, you have seen so much more of life than i have....Hope the loss gets easier to bear with time. akhon tomar onek message etc ashchhe nishchoi oto respond korar shomoy hobe na so don't feel obliged to reply, just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you....Bhalo theko! tomar onno kono number achhe ki?

Ruchira Sen: Hi Mithu Mashi, wish you strength at this difficult time. Hugs

Sharmila Banerjee: May his soul rest in peace. Heartfelt condolences to you

Ritwika Bose: That’s really sad news. Can’t believe it... pocha will always be with us in our heart

Shoma Banerjee: May his soul rest in peace

Annu Singh Kundu: So sorry to hear this Aditi. May his soul rest in peace

Smita Gupta: Deepest condolences, Mithudi. Take care of yourself

Smita Chakraburtty: Aditi di I will come to Kolkata this week. Please meet me. Lots of love

Amit Shah: Mithu: hugs hugs hugs. Words fail me. I loved him like my brother. He was that to me for over 50 years

Jen Adams: Mithu my deepest condolences. I am lost for words. My heart aches. Take care of yourself. Love n hugs

May his soul Rest in Peace

Sanjoy Chatterjee: Mithu, I really don’t have words at this moment to express my condolences to you and everybody else. I am struggling to accept that Bapi is no more with us.

His passing is heart-breaking, to say the least!

But also, it is a release for him and now he rests in eternal peace.

It is no doubt a time for deep mourning, but let us put up the stiff upper lip and recall what a wonderful and great human being he was.

I am fortunate at having been so close to him for 5 decades!

I am bereft by this loss. But somewhere deep down I realise that he is in a much, much better place.

Sunil Nehru: Deepest condolences

Sandy Dutta: How come. Last year I met with him what happened

Rajarshi Ghosh: So sorry to hear this didibhai... my deepest condolences.. may his soul rest in peace

Monisha Das: Bapi brings back so many memories. Adhip (Gautam) and Bapi were wonderful friends. Both are now together. We are sad but they are in a place of no more sorrows. RIP Bapi

Pritam Singh: Sincere condolences

Krittika Sengupta: So sorry to hear this Aditi di, our deepest condolences to you all

Gautam Sen: Very sorry to hear this, let his soul RIP

Anisha Baksi Mukherjee: Eta hoye nah...

Indu Chandrasekhar: Deepest condolences, Aditi. I can only imagine the pain of your loss. The only consolation, I guess, is that Dada’s suffering has come to an end. I’ll call and speak to you soon. Meanwhile take care and hang in there. Love...

Diya Banerjee: Oh noooooo. Heartfelt condolences. May he be free from pain where he is now. Take care.

Anchita Ghatak: So sorry, Aditi

Jaspal Singh Jolly: Deepest condolences Mithu. Very difficult to accept his going away like this

Amrita Ganguly: Sorry for your loss. My condolences

Kumkum Chatterjee: Heartfelt condolences Audi, can imagine your pain. Love & take care

Susmita Ghose: Mithu, You must have done everything humanely possible to take care of him till the last. May you be strong enough to accept and carry on this unbearable loss. May his soul Rest in Peace

Anjum Katyal: Sorry for your loss. May he rest in peace

Aurobindo Ghose: Deepest Condolences, Aditi

Ashok Roy Chowdhry: It is a moment of grief for all of us who knew him so closely. Niltuda for us symbolised love from the core of his heart not easily discernible to the uninitiated. Just this March we met, ironically at a hospital to look up another close one in the family. Who would have known Almighty’s plans at that time. We shall miss him. Mithudi, I have been receiving updates on the tremendous stresses and strains you would have gone. We pray with you for the peace of the soul. May the Almighty also give you and all others who were so dear to Niltuda, the strength to overcome this sad loss with fortitude

Monobina Gupta: My deepest condolences Aditi

Kasturi Roy Choudhury: Deepest condolences, Aditi

Freny Manecksha: Heartfelt condolences for your great loss

Aditya Nigam: Deepest condolences Aditi

Rajeev Dhavan: Deep condolences

Sanjay Basak: Deepest condolences

Tathagata Bhattacharya: Condolences

Pamela Philipose: So sorry Aditi. Deep condolences

Aijaz Zaka Syed: My condolences

Amit Ukil: May you and the family have the strength to cope with the loss. My condolences

Ajoy Bose: Really really sorry for your loss. I remember how much you used to dote on him.

Radhika Roy Manu: Mithu mashi, all have to at some point, take leave from this world. Be strong and all our prayers will help you remain strong. May his soul rest in peace. Will call u once you are a little settled

Rupa Chatterjee: Sending you hugs Mithu Mashi. He has found peace and will live on forever in all our hearts

Arup Chatterjee: Condolences to you and rest of the family. May you all find the strength to cope with this loss of a loved one

Aishee Sengupta: Lots of love to you and the family

Priyanka Chakraborty: My deepest condolences to you Madam

Arati Radhika Jerath: Deep condolences. It must be a heavy loss to bear. May he rest in peace

Sayantan Halder: Another good soul departed us... Really sad news....

Madhurima Sen Bose: Our prayers are with you, Mithudi. Can’t find the right words here. You take care

Nilanjana Basu: My God. Can’t believe this

Shikha Mukerjee: Deepest condolences

Probal Dasgupta: My condolences, Aditi

Anjana Sen: Rest peacefully Bapidada

Pankaj Butalia: Condolences Aditi

Ritwika Sen: Sending much love, Mithu Mashi. Very sorry to hear the sad news

Sutapa Roy: My condolences to you & your family Aditi di

Rahul Roy: My deepest condolences

Ayesha Kidwai: Sincere condolences, Aditi

Sabitha Satchi: So sorry, dear Aditi. Sending you hugs and strength. Take care. Xx

Abeer Chakravarty: Sorry to hear that

Soumyadip Roy: Sorry to hear this Mithu mashi. Take care

Tilottama Karlekar: So sorry to hear this. My deepest condolences

Indrani Nayar-Gall: Mithu so sorry to hear, I didn’t have the opportunity to open FB yesterday but received the news this morning from dada. Wish I could be there with you

Ayan Ghosh: Very sad to hear of your loss Aditi di

Vandana Misra: So sad. our heartfelt condolences. take care Aditi

Nandini Lal: Oh no. So sorry to hear that. Take care

Sourav Ghosh: very sorry to hear this, may his soul rest in peace

Sunrita Sen: My condolences Aditi

Raja Dasgupta: RIP Bapida ... Fond memories...

Bijita Majumdar Mishra: So sorry for your loss, Kaki. Take care

Amrita Majumdar: Very sorry, Kaki. lots of love to all of you

Vivek Sengupta: Heartfelt condolences

Premika Ratnam: Remember the good times. Condolences Aditi

Aditi Roy Ghatak: How sad Aditi. Deepest sympathies. I knew him and always enjoyed his company

Barnali Mitra: চলে গেলো?

Ajoy Bose: So sorry Mithu Aditi. Our deepest condolences

Anikendra Sen: Rest in peace my friend. Boon companion in our wild college days and always a friend in need. A big hug and all my love Mithu

Pankaj Butalia: Dear Aditi, heartfelt condolences ... Bapi will surely be missed a lot by those who knew him. Take care

Rama Sangye: Deepest condolences.

Abeer Chakravarty: Really sad

Sudas Roy: I’m in Singapore and got an update from Sanjay in Delhi that Bapi is gravely ill in an ICU ventilator! Now I come to know from your latest FB post that he is no more! A devastating and shocking news. Can’t believe that he is no more! My deepest condolences to you all and his innumerable friends and admirers. May God grant him lasting peace and eternal rest!

Sanjoy Chatterjee

With a very heavy heart I share the sad and shocking news of Nirmalya Ghosh (our beloved and one and only Bapi). He breathed his last at 22.15 hours in a hospital in Kolkata on 07. 08. 18.

Bapi was a friend to everybody and a foe to none – all across India and abroad!

May his soul rest in eternal peace!

Dhritiman Chaterji

Didn’t see your message of 7 Aug since I hardly go to Facebook. We’re in Goa and I heard of Bapi’s passing from a common friend, Bachhu. Had last met him at Sumanta’s shraddha and memorial service at around the same time last year. Many memories ... especially with Ammu. They worked together for a while. How are all of you?

Jen Adams

Dearest Mithu, even though we spoke, I am in shock. I am reading your FB msg over n over again. I don’t believe it. I care a lot for Bapi from the years we worked together n even after migrating. He has been a good friend, confidant, has a good ear listening to problems n always gave good advice. I will never find or hv yet to find a friend like him. Pl keep me posted. My iPad will always be with me waiting for a update. Don’t forget to take care of yourself in the process. Love n hugs.

Ballori Roy

On a series of losses, seems like we’re on a roll. Pocha that last hug is still due, and the world now is a different place without you. To humans loving humans beyond blood, relations, family, societal norms. Humans who loved and lived for love ... goodbye Pocha. Aditi mammam Sumit baba I’m just a call away, like Pocha seems to be in this photo.

Anju Chopra

Har Dil Me Dard Chupa Hota Hai, / Bayan Karne Ka Andaz Juda Hota Hai, /Kuch Log Aansuo Se Dard Bata Dete Hai /Aur Kisi Ka Dard Hasi Me Chupa Hota Hai

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Responses to Sumit Roy’s piece on LinkedIn

Amit Shah

Managing Director & Founder, Green Comma* Volunteer Coord., Social Media, CAAS

Mr. Roy, I don’t know you but I share something with you ---our brother Bapi Ghosh. I knew him since 1967 when we were wet-behind-the-ears undergraduates in Delhi. You’ve written a memorable piece. Bapi would say, I think, “Ki X?% nonsense.” And then he’d hug you.

Sumit Roy

Grows people who grow brands

I agree, Amit. I would do anything for that hug now.

Sanjoy Chatterjee

Well written Sumit Roy – straight from the heart!

Yes, Bapi was all that you have rightly said.

He was also much, much more! An unforgettable person.