Tribute to a strong woman
I still struggle to grasp the reality of your passing. When I saw Ada’s call that morning, my heart skipped, and I didn’t want to take it. Eventually, I summoned courage and answered the call, and heard Ada wailing. I blanked my mind to anything that may have caused her distress and asked what the matter was. When Big sister eventually got there and said your body was still warm, I asked them to call a doctor while I got my pastor to pray with me. My heart broke when they reconfirmed you were no more.
Mummy, you promised to stay back and watch us after Daddy left abruptly, and now you too are gone. How do you expect us to carry on without you both?
Initially, I wept helplessly like a child until my eyelids ached terribly. After some days, I asked myself what you would do in this situation; I was instantly motivated by the memory of you courageously mourning and burying five (5) siblings and your parents. I pictured you wiping away your tears, making burial plans, and executing them swiftly. With that mental image in mind, I rose, wiped my tears, and began to do what needed to be done.
Yellow Grandma – as my kids would call you, you were so many things in one, you had a strong spirit, it was only the inevitable that could take you out. You lived fearlessly, courageously, and beautifully.
Your passing got me reflecting on your person, and I would love to articulate a bit of it here.
Lover of God: You loved God, waking up before dawn each day to praise and hail Him. Your morning prayers the last time you visited us was my alarm bell. You taught me to love and serve God with my time. In my teenage years, you would take me to church to help you fetch water while you washed the toilets at OLL Coker every Monday after the whole place has been messed up from the previous Sunday masses and other activities. I learned a lot from your examples of humility and service.
Strength: You had a never – give up attitude; you would carry on boldly in the face of adversities, always learning from your failures and never giving up on your vision. I grew up watching you venture into and run multiple businesses to support your family and loved ones. No problems were too much to overcome, and you would channel your energy positively to thinking up a solution rather than moan over spilled milk.
Defender of the oppressed: I watched with both wonder and fear how you go out of your way to speak up and fight for the marginalised around you. I remember you recounting the story of how you confronted your cousin’s wife-beating husband and the fact that he never raised his hand against her after that incident. Mummy, you were such a VOLTRON. You would boldly call out wickedness and stand up against any form of bullying or maltreatment in your community.
Wisdom: I saw many women, both young and old come to you with their problems and how you would help them navigate the issues by pouring courage into their hearts, give wise counsel, and where possible empower them financially or otherwise. Sometimes you would involve your children to help financially. You demonstrated the bible injunction of faith and good works.
Knowledge: You didn’t get as much education as you desired due to non-availability of resources, but you have since made it a life mission to educate your own and any other willing child around you. You ran multiple businesses to support daddy pay our school fees. You believed in the liberating power of educating the human mind. You were a lover of knowledge and would tune to TV programmes and read books to learn new stuffs, network with people doing inspiring things to learn from them, you had an open and curious mind. The knowledge and understanding you garnered were the fuels for your creativity and excellent problem-solving skills.
Ageless Beauty: You were beautiful in and out; people that knew you from a distance and didn’t like the truth thought you were too harsh. You would scold with one hand yet bless with the other. You were a giver, a legionary to the core, giving out of the little you have without announcing to the whole world you gave.
Your self-care routine was mind-blowing. Even in your 60’s, you would ensure your fingers were properly manicured and decorated with your award-winning tomato red nail polish. Is it how you would beat your face with your “gbanjo” cosmetics, and people who spend fortunes to buy makeup would admire you and ask you to buy for them too?
I already bought the skincare products and cosmetics you requested as I prepared to come for daddy’s burial; now, who would use them?
One time, when a friend visited me after meeting you, she asked if you were my mother because you looked too beautiful compared to my ordinary looks. I guess the beauty genes were residual in me, but I see you activated it in Nmesoma. She is only three but very particular about her looks and wants to wear dresses all year round because she is a princess and princesses wear dresses. Everyone here says she looks a lot like you; coincidentally, you share the same middle name – Louisa. I’m so glad you left a part of you for me to behold each day.
Community Builder: You identified and joined key women groups, both religious and secular, and participated actively. You were not a bench warmer at all, instead, you would air your views boldly no matter how unpopular and who was on your side. You stood up boldly against any form of injustice and unfairness. Very popular for speaking the truth unapologetically. Some disliked you because of this, but you cared less. You urged us, your children, to identify with our various cultural groups and participate actively. I would reluctantly drive from Ajah to Oshodi to attend the Ipupe women’s meeting. You came visiting Halifax, Canada, for just six 6 months, and the entire African community felt your presence and frequently looked forward to your tantalizing dishes.
I could go on and on, but this brochure would not contain a complete description of all your virtues, maybe someday I will write a book about your life.
Mummy, you have done your part.
You have raised us well as Godly seeds, and so we are mighty upon the earth and inherit the land.
Thank you for praying us into our places and positions in life.
We all enjoy good marriages and have children, Oh we are blessed because we are the seed of the righteous.
YOU BORN US WELL, we will not disappoint you as we go forth without you both.
We will continue the legion work where you left off.
Adieu Mama Oby
Adieu Nwanyi Nnewi
Adieu Oge Mummy
Adieu Big Mummy
Adieu Yellow Grandma\
Oge Nwachukwu