REMEMBERING HENRY: AN UNFORGETTABLE FRIEND
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages . . .
These are the words of the most internationally acclaimed writer in the English language, William Shakespeare. They ring true today about us all, as they did more than four centuries ago. Ogbueshi Henry Edozie Okonkwo made his entrance on this world's stage, and in due course made his exit. As Shakespeare reminds us, he played many parts - son, husband, father, grandfather, in-law, relative, friend, businessman, employer - the list is truly endless. However, it is in his capacity as a friend of my family that I wish to re-enact my memories of him.
My earliest memory of Henry is that of a devoted, caring and supportive husband to my dearest friend, Phyllis, and a thoughtful, but watchful and responsive father to their children, Edo, Medua, Ifeoma, Chinwe and Kayo. We were all very young then in the 1970s. And Lagos was a good place to be in! Henry, Phyllis, my husband, Sam, and I, used to attend parties and various social events as a foursome. We visited each other's homes, and my children saw the home of the Okonkwos, with rare, lush plants and beautifully appointed rooms, as their second home.
Henry, in his long Citroen, the latest edition of the car (tokunbos were unknown then) was elegance personified. I can still "see" him at one of the many diplomatic gigs we attended in Old Ikoyi and Victoria Island, before these suburbs were permanently despoiled by commerce and the ubiquitous high-rise. Drink in hand, feet tapping to calypso or steel band rhythms at one of Ambassador Patrick Edwards's famous parties, before he took to the floor - that's how I like to remember Henry. Slim and debonair from head to toe, Henry Okonkwo was never one to put a wrong foot forward.
Witty, and at times cynical, with a caustic tongue when provoked, Henry was a well informed and rounded individual. He could hold his own anywhere, and needed no Ph.D or a string of academic certificates to validate his intellectual acumen. His views on politics, religion, economics and business were objective, robust and clearly emanated from careful observation and thought. In some respects, Henry Okonkwo was unashamedly conservative, but in others he was ahead of his time. He encouraged his wife to exploit her talents to the fullest and ensured she used her many scholarships to study abroad and score high in her discipline.
One of the most refreshing aspects of Henry was that he knew whom he was through and through. He was not given to unnecessary airs and graces, even when he had made money and was quietly successful. He was kind, unaffected and genuine; and was impatient with those who were not. My husband and I respected him for all this and always treasured his advice. There was a time we lost touch, as chronic ill-health forced me to be away from Nigeria. Henry's death on 16th March, 2007 met me travelling from Chicago to Central America. Much, much later, it all came to me as an unwelcome shock. I kept on saying in my mind: No! No! No! Not Phyllis's Henry, tall, handsome Henry; at times diffident, yet sure of himself!
Now I know for a fact that Henry Edozie Okonkwo of Asaba is indeed gone ahead of us all. Still, the space in our lives that he filled will forever remain his alone, untouched and unscarred by the ravages of either age or time. Requiescat in pace.
THERESE NWEKE
