“Sweet Mother,I no go Forget you for the suffer wey you suffer for me” the starting lyrics of the popular song by Prince Mbarga' and “You were there for me to love and care for me. When skies were gray, Whenever I was down, You were always there to comfort me” 'A song for mama’ by Boys ll Men were our songs. I will sing these songs over and over for my mum and she would look at me, with tears in her eyes, smile, and then tell me “Otito, waa gbe öwö mi soke, fà mi lèsè or gbe mi didè, je ki èsè mi kanlè" ( “it is enough, come and lift my hands up, pull my legs up, lift me up and let my feet touch the ground”). One of the things my mum loved about me was my voice. She would always tell me “Ohun e tii ofi yin olorun, waa fi ma jeri ayo”; (‘The voice you use to praise the Lord will be used for testimonies of joy”).
My mum was someone who stood by her children through thick and thin, supporting them, carrying them when necessary, hard-disciplined them but loved them like crazy too. She was a no-nonsense person who will wear the same trouser with you (if you get my gist) if necessary! Having said that though, Oluyinka Abegbe Awogboro cried and laughed with her children, would sleep rough with her children if that was their condition, will celebrate and rejoice with them when the occasion arises. She loved all her children equally and was very close to each and every one of them in a unique way. She knew each of her children very well and was actively involved in all her biological and adopted children's lives, including the students of the schools (Primary and later on Secondary schools) on Onayade Street. If Mummy Awosco was in the shop, you had to be on good behaviour even when passing by her house.
She was brave, indeed very brave. She gave up schooling abroad, to marry a very handsome man from Ibokun Ijesha, she being a proper Lagos girl and followed him to Ibokun on her wedding day alone with her cousin, Mrs Bebe Ajala (to be) who was equally as brave. As a wife, Oluyinka Abegbe Awogboro was a loving and faithful wife to her husband of over 30 years before he slept in the Lord, 22 years ago. Yes, with her leaving, I am now an orphan (sad indeed). She fought many marital battles but was determined not to leave her children nor separate them from their dad. I learnt a lot from her resolve to enjoy her marriage and be happy no matter what. She also fought for her home physically, mentally and emotionally. No surprise that my dad left her as the decision maker for 27 Onayade Street. The bank tried to auction the house once, they met a legal Tiger in her! She won the battle and we kept our home. She loved, forgave, persevered and lived in her marriage. I learnt from my mum to be proud of what you have and not be materialistic. She passed on bravery to all. If you were bullied in the area and came back home running or crying, she would make you go back and deal with the first one of the bullies you came across, and run back home like crazy. Mummy would be waiting by the gate, to ensure you were followed by the bullies; she would then pat you on the back and say “Ehen, o ki n se omo loole lo gbesi.”(“You are not a child to be driven back home by bullies.”). Trust me, the bully would not bully you again.
Abegbe, elerin ege was a rare gem, a very beautiful one at that, even in death. Her skin clear and glowing, not even one varicose vein in sight. Beauticians would have loved to use her skin for advertisement but she was very private. She did not allow her beauty to get into her head and was faithful and humble. Oluyinka was a very elegant dresser.
I learnt from my mum to be generous. Oluyinka had a large heart. I don't know how many wives would have that many family members live with them in their home. In fact, our house was referred to in the area as a dormitory and Abegbe did not mind. But supported both her family and her husband's family. My mother also taught me prudency. She was a housewife who ran a shop called Awosco Stores, from which she got the nickname 'Mummy Awosco'. Oftentimes, unknown to many, she supported both family members and her lovely children financially from proceeds from that shop. Mum, in the early 80s would go as far as Badagry for her distributorship business. There is no one who lived with my mum that can be lazy. She passed on the legacy of hard work. Till October last year, she was still cooking for herself. She was the best cook in the world.
Hmm, Mama, even in sickness she had a great sense of humour and she always made me laugh. As I approach her bed, she would tickle me on my belly, hold my hand, sometimes squeeze it. I will never forget how you lay your head on my on my shoulder when you try to get up. Hmm...Mama…
If death would take money, I would have given it (hoping it would have been affordable). If it would take things that money could buy, I would have bought them, but no, it took my mother, my royal gem, iyà mí, ôrę mi, my Mummy Awosco, my mama. I wouldn’t let her go…yes!, I prayed, I used the mantle, anointed oil, quoted scriptures but she would not look back. Oluyinka had seen Jesus and HE was more handsome than my father, more beautiful than this earth, more loving than her loving children whom she was very fond of and so she followed Him to paradise. She is already being missed and will be greatly missed and will never be forgotten.
This indeed is an irreparable loss. The solace I have is that she was a child of God who saw Jesus before she saw death. She had been seeing Jesus for about 8 days before she went to sleep and began to fight us for not letting her go. She would tell me the prayers I've prayed and was praying was enough. Oh Mum, you really wanted to go. You could not bear giving us any stress, even though you knew (because you thanked us) that we did not mind it. What a mother. Even in sickness, she was mindful of her children.
I am the last born. My mum and I went through a lot together. I don't know what I'll do when I have the urge to talk to her or caress her or give her a Jibowu kiss on her lips. Who will reprimand and talk to me frankly like she did? Who will say the motherly prayers she used to pray for me daily? Who will dance to “Sweet Mother” when I sing it? Oh Mama, I miss you terribly. I love you but Jesus loves you more. I thank God because you LIVED, through and through, a principled child of God, for the battle/wars you won and for the ones you lost.
I thank God for the privilege of being Oluyinka’s daughter, being raised and nurtured by her, inheriting the Abegbe smile and though very hard for me, I bid you farewell my mother, continue on your journey to total and absolute peace. Rest Mama, rest on…
Oluwatoyin Abegbe Akintunde
Grandma, I am so sad that you are gone. I hope you make it to heaven. You made me your son. If I do anything wrong, you correct me immediately and I was so sorry that we left you in America even though you wanted to come back with us last year. I was hoping that you would live to a hundred years but God took you for a reason. God will bless you.
- Tominsin Akintunde.
