Hey kid, thinking about you a little more today...

Happy belated heavenly BDay Oscar. Miss watching you grow along with your cousins.

We all love you, Oscar. Thinking about you and your wild and generous spirit.. grieving your death today and every day. Your mom loves you so very much. But you know that already.

Happy Heavenly birthday Oscar, 24 today WOW!

Dearest Oscar, It's unbelievable that it's been 6 years already since you've been gone. Every Summer hits hard for me, but this year, for some reason it hit harder and you were on my mind a lot. Maybe because your anniversary is just a couple of days apart from my sisters or maybe because I see all the nieces and nephews growing up way to fast. I often wonder about what you would be doing now a days, I'm sure it would be something cool, you had many talents and had the looks that went right along with them, the perfect mix for success. I hope you know that you left a mark in each and every one of us and you continue to live through the many memories we have of you.    

Today is no different than July 28th 2015. I mean, I know it's different, but it doesn't feel different. 

I love you. I want you to be here.

Today, on the 22nd anniversary of Oscar's birth, four and a half years after his death, I hold you Rebekah in my heart with tenderness. xo

Dear Oscar,
One of God's great gifts to us is the growth and depth of our love. I have always wanted to move mountains for you, and today is no different. My love and devotion to you grips me harder with each day, each time I see you passing me on the freeway (with your hat backwards, moving smoothly), each time I hear your name, each glimpse of your gorgeous face.

I know you are here with me but what I really want is for you to be here with me.

Twenty two years ago today is one of my favorite days in the universe.

Happy birthday. Let's go out to a fancy dinner. My treat.

#202Oscar

Four years: an eternity! On this anniversary, and always, my heart is with you. There still are no words for such unbearable, unspeakable loss... xo

Ive been thinking about you, i miss you dude ⚡️

Oscar.... how has it been three years. So much grief and loss, but also we moved to a new city, I have a new job, we have so many new friends, and I wrote this: http://specials.myajc.com/life-oscar/ 
You have given us life and are with us every moment. Love you x infinity <3 Mom

Rebekah - holding you very close in my heart on Oscar's 20th birthday. May his memory always be a blessing for you. He will forever be deeply connected to you and will live in so many people's hearts. xo

Hey brother, just wanted to stop by it’s been a while since everything’s happened and I still miss you like crazy.... well it’s my birthday tomorrow sadly it’s going to be the 3rd birthday you’ve missed which sucks because I usually would spend most of that day with you and all my other family and friends but it is what it is I have you in my heart.... but it’s just not the same tbh. I’m currently sitting in my car right next to your grave not having enough strength to get out of my car let alone even look at your grave because the thought of you really being in there all cold keeps crossing my mind.. I’m really sorry I can’t visit all the time like I use to being an adult fucking sucks I’m forever wishing I could go back 6 years ago and relive my whole teens again i don’t care if I have to go thru all the pain and suffering again it would be worth it just too get those “post up texts” or the random messages you’d send me letting me know you miss me and wanna post up. We might not have been blood but honestly blood couldn’t have made us any closer... as much as life sucks without you it’s done a lot of good for me and pushed me to do so many great things to honor you like finishing school, getting back into boxing and a lot more stuff.. I wish you could have met my niece which would have been your god daughter she’s so big and beautiful I try too take her to see you but she don’t really understand yet all she knows is that’s where uncle Oscar is.. man your missing out on so much that I wish you’d be here for but I know your here spiritually because I feel you every single day my hearts beating... your brotherhood was the biggest blessing I’ve received in my life because it taught me so much more then loyalty it showed me friends can mean so much more than real family it showed me I wasn’t alone it showed me what having a real brother was like but most of all it showed me never to take anyone in my life for granted because In the blink of an eye there gone forever. I hope you know I appreciate you so much. I love you brother keep protecting me.. lord knows I can use all the protection I can get.. stay up brother and say hi to milinda for me love you both

i love you my boy and i miss you like crazy , happy holidays too you and your family

Today I went to where you're buried. Today I went to Delta. I went to St Joe's. I went to Fesler. I went to Su Mesa. I went to Barrett. I went to the house where I used to live, the house where you came over for help with your homework. I went to my old house on Woodmere, where you and your mom laid on the floor. I went to your old house on Newlove. I went to the intersection of College and Miller, that tiny complex where your mom lived for a bit. I drove by the big Catholic church where you were baptized and where you laid while we prayed and wept over you. I parked in the same parking spot I had the night of your rosary. I even went to that park, briefly, by your gf's house where your shocked friends gathered after your death. I remember the candles didn't stay lit for more than a second or two and I remember how frustrated that made me.

You are in every thing I do, and every move I make. I love and miss you.

Oscar, although it's been a year, I still keep you and your mother in the forefront of my thoughts. For the energy, curiosity of spirit and trenchant wit that you were able to impart upon an old man, who, in those precious moments, became the student rather than the teacher.

Young King..your story has touched an unprecedented amount of people...a ripple effect that will continue to move mountains and evoke change in our homes and our communities...you should have never been taken from this Earth in such a way, at such a time..the burden is heavy and the loss is unbearable..but--not in vain..we will learn, we will grow...we will teach and be better because of YOU, your story, your life and this unfortunate lesson. Sending you love and light so tough it can be felt beyond any boundary or border between this life and the next. Baker Family <3

Oscar WILL live forever! Viva Oscar!! He is in the hearts of people who loved him profoundly. As we commemorate the heartbreaking one year anniversary of his physical absence, we send healing love to all those who miss him deeply. And, we will never forget him.

Its been a whole year and man do I miss your smile..rest easy flash

R.I.P Oscar man cuz it's been a year already and it's been hard without u I miss u so much I think of u evey single day, trying to feel strong but the feelings just don't go away luv u cuz with all my heart rest in peace❤❤❤

i still remember when we first started to hang out we would just chill in your room before school and listen to music mostly Mac miller joey bada$$ dizzy wright and logic. Our friend ship grew closer the more we had in common from our music taste all the way until what we wanted to be when we got older which was a detective.. We did a lot together good and bad, I wouldn't trade any moment we had for anything I hold them close to my heart until the day we meet up... I love you brother rest easy... 7 long months

If you were here I would take you clothes shopping at Tilley's and spend about $100. I would get to see your tattoos in person. After shopping, I would take you out to lunch someplace, your choice, but I would push for Shaw's because I like steak, and I remember you bought me steak for my birthday last year. You would ask about Henry, and about Danial. I would tell you about our upcoming move, and how well Henry is doing in school. I would harp on you about your homework, and you would assure me that you were up to date on all your assignments. I would 75% believe you. I would talk about taking you to an orientation at Hancock, to see how it would be once you were done with Delta. You would ask me again how to start on a path to be a detective.

Your site was lovely this morning, with a surprisingly powerful sun breaking through the rain clouds. I've told Henry that it is a park, a place where we can go to remember and think on you. He misses you, mentions you more than you would expect a four year old to. The other day we drove past the county buildings on Betteravia and he said "That's where we dropped off Oscar and Aunt Rebekah." I miss you too, but I think you know that. I miss you every time I drive Clark, every time I drive Broadway, every time I see a teenage boy with black hair, every time I breathe. I love you, Oscar. Always have, always will.

My grandson was born this day, eighteen years ago. This will always be his day. His marks on life and living, remain. Time has no sway on his was,or his will be. He always will be so. The day is memorialized, however; he will remain integral, nevertheless. Love will see to that. His for us, and ours for him. Oscar, thank you.

From Tio Efren, shared at Oscar's NYC Memorial Service (Aug 14, 2015):

As a baby we called him camaron, in karate class the teachers called him tiger, in boxing he was known as Joaquin the King, El Rey, some people called him Canelito, after that his friends give him the name of Flash, then his Artist name was Devious. Many nick names. But now I call him my angel baby. Oscar, I won’t say goodbye -- I will say see you soon. It might be hours, days, weeks, months, or years. It’s just a matter of time. To me, you are alive -- not because I can see you, but because the footprints you left are well-marked. Some people can live so many years but never leave footprints. You did in so many ways. Your charisma, your smile, how lovely you were, respectful, you were wise at a young age. There are so many memories we share, and they are so alive until we meet again. They can take you away from me physically, but the love that we have for each other as family? Never. Love you mijo, see you soon.

From Lily, for Oscar's NYC Memorial Service (Aug 14, 2015):

Oscar was the most beautiful person inside and out that I had ever met in my life. He was big hearted, intelligent, creative, funny, handsome, and just everything great! Everyday spent with him was truly a day well spent. He wasn't just a boyfriend to me he was my best friend, my first love, motivation, and reason to never give up. He really did save me in every way a girl can be saved. He brought light, happiness, joy, and love into my life of darkness. One thing I can never thank him enough for is giving me the honor to experience what true love really is, he taught me how to love. For any girl they crave to experience, give, and receive love back and he did that for me. I thank God everyday for allowing me to experience that with Oscar. He made me feel beautiful and showed me that I'm worth something in this world, there was never one day he didn't make me feel wanted or special. He opened my eyes up to how beautiful life actually is and that everyday counts. He changed me for the better. Even though my days are lonely and heartbreaking without him his love and wanting me to succeed in life are what keep me going. My love for him will always be endless and my heart will always be missing him. I now live to make him proud and never let him down because I know he's watching over me and guiding me through life and leading me where I'm supposed to be.

Happy birthday, Oscar! You are always in our hearts. Your quickness of spirit and smile will always be remembered. Though you are gone way too soon from us, your influence will never fade! You are a blessing!

Speech for Oscar By Eric Joaquin
Rosary/Mass Services Aug 2015

Oscar meant a lot to many different people. To his social media following he was known as “damage”, “obey flash” or any other different name you might know. To his cousins he was the athletic one, the personable one, and the one who loved us all being together. To his girlfriend, he was the man that wanted to just be with her. He loved her and cared a lot about her. To his stepmother he was a gregarious soul who was helpful towards all and grateful for the little things. To his parents, he was their only son. The kid who spent time with both of them and let them know how much he loved them.

You see… Oscar was all these things. He was grateful for the life experiences he had. He was gifted, whether it was through music, sports, or bringing people together. The one thing that really defined him though was his love towards his family. If you were a close friend to him, you were family. If he was your boyfriend, you were family. And if you had blood relations to him, you were family. He felt immensely loyal to his family and wanted nothing more than to bring them all together.

He made many people smile, and for that he will ultimately be remembered. I know he is looking down on all of us and wants us all to learn from this tragedy. He would want better for his friends and family. He would want us to be happy, to live our lives for our families, and to go out into the world and bring smiles to others the way he brought smiles to us. In his memory I call all of you to do just this. Make other smile. Treat others right. Be a person that brings about positive change in the world.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best, “To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.”

Oscar, my little cousin, you have succeeded. May we honor his memory by doing the same.

Happy 18th birthday Oscar..
Wish you were here but i know God is taken good care of you up there. Love & miss you so much... i know you're gonna have an amazing birthday up in heaven...
Rest easy ....

Damn foo I'm hella burnt I Juss wrote u a long ass letter where it said to put your email hahahaha but I was Juss thinking about you and all of the memories we have . I went by your grave today and put the solar light cross cuz it gets so dark and lonely out there. Juss know that I think about you everyday all day nd at times I shed a couple years like right now cuz I miss you so much and I the way you passed away Juss eats at me . I don't think that I will ever be able to forgive myself for not being there at your rosary or funeral. I love you so much nd miss u like crazy. Il never tell you goodbye because I kno il see you later goodnight homie nd see u soon

Merry Christmas cus And Happy New Years Eve this year wasn't the same without you I really miss you. Rest In Peace your in my heart forever.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

I wish I could say this has gotten easier somehow. But I constantly think about all of the 'what ifs'. I think of the future you had, the future that I saw in you. I hold a lot of regret from never thanking you, because of you I began to see life as something worth living- as long as I'm happy and doing what I love.
You had such an amazing soul and you are missed dearly.
I hope you're resting easy, I hope any pain you had has gone away.

"And it's hard, the days just seem so dark, the moons and the stars are nothing without you... no words can explain the way I'm missing you. Deny this emptiness, this hole that I'm inside.. these tears they tell their own stories.." This song Lay Me Down by Sam Smith will always remind me of you.
All I want to do is make sure your'e alright... I hate the fact that I will not see you anymore while I'm still here on this earth. It makes me feel so sick... I don't know what to feel anymore. I will never understand how anybody could take such an amazing, vibrant, outgoing, and beautiful soul! All I can really comprehend is your'e in a much better place.. Visit me in my dreams again! I love you Flashy, I can't wait till the day I see you again in another life! <3

Oscar, I think of you every single day. I still can't comprehend all of this yet. I'll miss you forever.... I think of all the fun times we had with everyone at my apartment and for some reason I still feel like we're going to have another one of those days. I love you, I don't understand why God took you from us so early but your'e serving a purpose up there. There's not enough words to explain the pain I have from missing you so much. There's no words to express the love I have for you. Stay resting baby boy, keep us safe down here and stay watching over us. Goodnight, I love you Oscar Daniel Joaquin!

Halloween all I could do was think of you on how damn you should of been here for this holiday on how damn you'll never have another one like damn I miss you all the time. Like yeah I was partying, but I would look up at the sky and think of you those stars seemed bright to me just like you I'm always going to miss you I'm still having trouble believing you're gone like you can't be so many questions but one day, I'll get that one day. Sorry I'm late I would've said better late then never but if that were the case I wouldn't be feeling how I feel now the fact that I was to late to call you now it's too late and there's nothing I can do about it but wait till I go away where you'll be. I'll see you eventually Rest In Peace in Paradise Oscar. Happy Halloween Oscar.

I cant believe it's been a month without you Oscar. It feels like forever when it's only the beginning and the rest of my life to come. I hate that you can't be here, I hate that I can never speak to you again, I hate that you left so early, I hate everything that can longer have you a part of. I've been counting the days and I always will. It just breaks my heart more then anything that you're not here. I love you Oscar, Rest in Peace.

Oscar i still cant believe its already been a month since your passing ... you were like my best friend in middle school feels like a piece of my childhood has been ripped out, all i have now are just memories but i will always treasure them . love you bro rest easy

I miss you.....

Oscar, you have been in my heart and on my mind since the moment I heard of what happened. You haven't left my side and I can feel you here every moment that I need you. From the candle that appeared in my car, to the dreams of your smile and laugh, to my window continuously rolling itself down the day that I wanted to visit you- but I had to go to work, and to just feeling your presence around me all the time. I still can't imagine not seeing you walking around, or posting on Facebook- every time you are tagged in a post I think it's you posting for a split second. You have not left my mind, and you will forever live in my heart. I hope you are resting peacefully, and thank you for keeping me company on my bad days.

Hey bro, you were always a down homie. I cant say we were friends forever but in the time I have known you for a couple years it has been awesome. You are a sick rapper bro, I know you are resting in heaven. I will miss you but your not gone you will live on in our hearts.

Even though we didn't talk that much, i knew you were always a great person. When i heard about your loss, i couldn't believe it, but i know your in a better place. Take care. Miss you Flash!

I wrote one of these for you already but I just watched a video of you that they made & it put me to tears ... I miss you so much & I regreat ever losing touch with you .. We talked here & there but not how it use to be .. I'll forever remember the Oscar that would dance , joke around , and play sports and always be there to make others laughs . Thank you for the laughs we shared with the amazing memories . Love & miss you daily .. Rip Oscar Daniel Joaquin

I had the chance to be around you while you were still a little boy
I had the chance to enjoy your presence, to laugh and cry with you
Do you remember the camping trip, the fishing and the pouring rain
Do you remember the Euro trip, the chateaux and the cheeses
What about the water park, the beach and the baseball games
What about playing soccer and all the crazy videos we made
Our dinner conversation (I still think the rhinoceros can take on the lion)
Our long video game party

Oscar
You left too soon, too young to go away
My dear little boy, thank you for everything
The world will miss you
Remember, you will be forever

Dear Rebekah,
I want to share some of my memories of Oscar with you.
I remember feeling a bit nervous about his first visit to CT, thinking that he would be bored stiff coming to see us in CT in 2013. We hadn’t entertained a teenager in our home for quite a long time and I had visions of him struggling to find things to say and do. I was so pleasantly surprised to see how open and outgoing he was, curious to see and do new things. He made himself at home and was easy-going and fun to be with while he secretly juggled time between us and his phone. Despite the fact that he wanted to be very independent, he still acquiesced to your direction and approval and wanted to please you. I admired that strength in him.
He was almost as super competitive as I when it came to bocce! He was quick to improve his aim and strove to beat you and me especially. I remember him arguing his position on several counts. That was fun, but not as much fun as playing Catch Phrase. I thought that game was hilarious. That was what made me see him in a whole new light. Here he was desperately trying to relate his ideas across generations and cultures with his bilingual background and with the impetuousness of a teenager under the stress of a merciless buzzer. It was incredible how quickly you picked up on some of the least little word clues just by looking at his face, or were you reading his mind? And then again, there were these strange clues that left us all scratching our heads WTF?? That game spoke volumes and opened up my eyes to your sweet son.
I remember him getting psyched about the Arcade at Mohegan Sun…and the look on his face when he ordered that hamburger plate at Hash a Go-Go and it turned out to be the biggest meal he had probably ever been served…and he devoured it, no problem!!
Then there was the crazy look on his face as we passed the two Playboy centerfolds posing in the casino where they were selling photo shoots. He stood near the trophy table and begged me to take a picture of him there.
One particular gesture of his stands out in my mind.  It was the way that he related to two year old Orion when he came to GA at Christmas. Orion was fascinated with Oscar. He would watch him with great interest as he sat on the living room sofa struggling over his music. They had this kind of silent connection. Whenever Orion came close enough to him, Oscar would reach out and pinch him softly on the cheek and smile his dimpled smile at him. Orion wanted to play right there in his presence. Not a lot of words but an obvious mutual admiration. I thought it was really sweet.
It also moved me to see him open his Christmas presents. He was definitely excited and happy. He still held that piece of childhood simplicity and for me, all sophistication dissolved with the choice of his hat. He reveled in the incredible breakfasts that you and Dru provided over that vacation. It was as though he hadn’t eaten for months!
Then there was Monopoly! Wow! He worked that game with the shrewdness of a financial mogul! He knew how to drive a hard bargain. And he loved winning so much ;-)
He was handsome, smart, lovable, and held so much promise for the future Rebekah. You gave him your all. It was not easy but you made lots of tough choices and you persevered at all hours of the day or night to help him through the hardest of times. No words are adequate enough to express our deep respect and admiration for your mothering and for the difficult task of loving someone so dearly without being able to reach out and touch him on a daily basis.
And now you have a complex mission before you. So much to teach us all…through the heartbreak and pain, Oscar needs your voice on every page of your story. He will be whispering the words, weaving them into your thoughts and providing the strength to persist. We need to know the answers.
Searching for Peace,
Ginny and Emile Levasseur

I am so very sorry to hear of your grandsons passing. I will remember him in my prayers.

hug
KathyLynn

Tony, Please know our prayers are with you and your family. I'm truly sad for you and the loss of your grandson. (soulprobe7)

I was so sorry to hear of your grandsons passing Tony, He will be remembered in my prayers. God bless all of you.

A sweet baby...a full of life little boy... A handsome and talented young man. My heart aches for your family and friends who have lost you so soon, but will keep your spirit alive for us forever.

R.I.P its such ashame what happen im prayers go out to his family. ...

OSCAR JOAQUIN will always be remembered and loved forever and we will all miss him but soon we will all be with with him again and I will never forget about the times we always use to hangout.So I will always remember and cherish those times for the rest of my life R.I.P my sweet loving cousin OSCAR JOAQUIN.

Odd thing we mentioned you just a few weeks ago with one of my nieces who asked about you and confided she had a crush on you when we all met in France six years ago, heartbreaker Oscar…Wonderful moments spent with you, wonderful memories for all the people who got to meet you…Can’t believe the news today…We will always remember you, rest in peace lil’boy❤