Every day I think about the memories Oscar and I shared. I think about how I will never have those times with him again. It absolutely breaks my heart over and over again every time I think about how I can never hug him, speak to him, or hear him speak to me and say "Ch-ch-ch-choners!" the way he would whenever I seen him. I have so many good times with Oscar, alot of them though we were always up to no good but we always had eachothers back. I remember one night specifically he picked me up with his cousin at Grams house and we went to the drive-in to watch Maleficent but it had closed and he was SO bummed out so that night we parked outside of the drive-in close enough where we could still see the movie screen and watched it for a good while even though we couldn't hear any of the words. I also think of all the mornings we'd be with all our friends at my house, and we'd just chill all morning watching Law & Order, eating eggs & bacons or sometimes pancakes. You made the house so much more alive & fun. My grandma, sister, and even my Uncle that you only ment once adored you. It hurts that I'm not gonna be able to hang out with you once I'm back home with Grams. He was one of my closest friends at the time and I regret not being able to stay close to him due to my own personal issues I was dealing with being away from home but there's not one day that goes by where I don't think about you. I wish everyday you were still here but I know your'e in a way better place than this world, where your'e much happier. I can't wait till the day I see you again. Rest easy, Flashy. God has a purpose for you up there.. keep me safe and protected. I love and miss you so so much Oscar!

Oscar was Quiet, tuned in. In a stressful moment in the car when we assumed he was listening to his music, he called up from the back seat out of the blue, "I love you, Mommy."

He was gentle with kids, babies loved him, clung to him, climbed on him.
Half a kid himself, he was fun-loving, endlessly ready for the next game or challenge. He hated to lose, but could laugh at himself and with a big grin he would challenge you to a rematch.

Oscar was Loud, direct, the life of the party, cracking jokes but making sure everyone was taken care of.  He was a leader, a care-giver.  One time he ate 15 White Castle cheeseburgers in one sitting.

Oscar was Powerful. He was handsome, smart, quick, funny. One of those rare people who are good at everything. He had big plans for the future, his music, getting a job to make his family proud. He was Royalty. King Joaquin across his chest. Scaling up rock climbing walls on the first try. A Massive, beautiful spirit.

Most of all, Oscar was loved. By his Mom, his Dad, his beautiful family on both sides, his Mom's friends, his own friends, coaches, his girlfriend.  And he knew it.  Trust me.  In my last conversation, he confirmed that he knew just how much he was loved by his Mom and all of you.

Oscar was bilingual and bicoastal. He straddled many worlds. Many of us in the room are not familiar with all of his worlds. He brought us all together. Mexico, California, New York, Georgia, Connecticut.

He lives on in each of us and thousands of others who are not here tonight but are with us in spirit.  Oscar Daniel Joaquin.

This is one of my favorite pictures.  It's been on my work computer desktop for months.  It still greets me with a smile when arriving at work!

Dear god brother

 my mom and dad n me will always miss u... my mom started to cry when she found out it was devastating for all of us ...I feel so sad for his dad knowing that he was his only kid... I will always keep u in my heart oscar...I dont see u right now but in the future I will... R.I.P Oscar

   I will never forget about the times we use to spend together at the walker park with my brothers and my aunt and the time we use to get in his pool and play colors or the times he came to my house to play video games with my brothers.For me Oscar was a really special person to me because Oscar was one of my favorite cousin's who has live for a short time but will always love us.Even though Oscar is an angle in the sky with God I know soon we will meet again and I know is difficult for all of us but especially his dad knowing we lost a really nice kind beloving kid we will always remember and cherish those time we spent with him and we will always keep Oscar Daniel Joaquin in our hearts forever.

IF I can stop one heart from breaking,    
I shall not live in vain;    
If I can ease one life the aching,    
Or cool one pain,    
Or help one fainting robin            
Unto his nest again,    
I shall not live in vain.    



Although I am overwhelmed with grief at the news of Oscar’s passing, I consider myself incredibly fortunate to have experienced his and Rebekah’s world -- and I am absolutely changed for the better because of it.  Oscar’s was an energy of spirit and creativity, which often eludes our understanding in childhood or else deserts us completely as adults.  But he captured it.  I sensed that from the moment we were introduced in Rebekah’s Park Slope apartment those few years ago.  In anticipation of his arrival, I remember feeling that distinct sense of fear that often comes with meeting a teenager for the first time.  I had heard about Oscar for years but only knew him from afar.  And suddenly there he was bounding in like he owned the apartment and offering me one of those teenage, worldly-wise grins.  I had set up a pull-up bar on the bedroom door as part of my daily exercise regimen, and when he saw the contraption, he challenged me to a contest almost immediately.  (I think Rebekah was still urging him to unpack at the time…ugh, was I a bad influence!)  And despite being terribly intimidated by someone less than half my age, I thought we might have much in common.  But I’m sure it was his playful sense of humor that really won me over, our age differences be damned!  I wanted his friendship far before he probably wanted mine.  He was a cool kid after all...!  Picking up girls on the Brooklyn subway line, break dancing on 4th Avenue, dressing up like a pop star.  (I like to think I got some of my stylistic dandyism from Oscar.)  Then there were other times when it was just the two of us and I'd say something like, "Did you have a good time with madre today?"  And he'd roll his eyes in response and give me the same mischievous smile – the sort of expression that translates as, “Yes I did, but, c’mon man, try to be cool about it.”  Unfortunately, I had limited skillz, but that didn’t phase Oscar.  It was all about enthusiasm and energy, which he exuded with the kind of abundance particular to youth.  One afternoon, we set about to make a music video in the middle of 4th Avenue, filmed and choreographed by his MC “Madre” – who was also the lookout for oncoming traffic.  And because I couldn’t put together even the simplest of dance moves, Oscar cast me as “sidekick #1/background walker/enthusiastic prop giver” who passed by the camera a few times and applauded his steps.  We laughed so much about that, though I suspect Oscar’s laughter was mostly due to how much I enjoyed my own silliness.  But what I appreciated far more was observing Rebekah and Oscar together.  We laughed so much in those months spent together, like a little New York family.  Oscar would often sit at the kitchen table working at this or that book lesson or essay and when he came upon a word or reference with which he wasn’t familiar, he would question the whole room.  We would all respond in unison, “Google it, Oscar!” and he would sprint into the backroom onto his computer to find the answer.  Inevitably, he would return in a matter of moments to announce his discovery to us.  “Can I stop now?” he would ask Rebekah.  “Keep going, you’re almost done,” she would say.  Then he would jump up and give her a dramatic embrace.  “I love you madre.”  They would hug for a moment while we looked on.  “I love you too, Oscar,” she responded, “but you still have to finish your work.”  Laughter erupted, and Oscar would offer up his mega-watt smile again.  Even now, years after, I’m smiling back.

I visited the hospital the day Oscar was born and was fortunate enough to spend a lot of time with him in his early years. Many moments with him and Rebekah every time I'd come home to visit California while I was in college.
Living with Rebekah in Berkely was a special time filled with many memories of Oscar staying over. The best that sticks out in my mind is playing "Monster" with him (dressing up in random clothes/hats/towels/sheets and hiding to scare one another). I have a handful of pictures from this time and will post them as soon as I can. Oscar is very, very loved. And will be very VERY missed.