"The death of a loved parent is an incalculable lasting blow. Because no one ever loves you again like that."
-Brenda Veland.
It is still like a bad dream I hope to wake up from...
Many Saturdays have passed since the one you left, that I have not made akara and ogi for your breakfast.
I entered your room these days and you are not there kneeling by your bed praying or sitting by your table reading or searching for a book or newspaper you wanted to give me to read something you have already marked down for me... All these not happening are sadly making the fact of your demise real. Oh no!
It is really devastating for me, Daddy, that you are gone. My heart is really, really heavy with pains and sadness and tears...
Who will ever want a father like you to go? A selfless, loving father who took so much pride in all our accomplishments; big, small, and even imagined! You would blow our trumpets to high heavens. Where can we ever find a genuine cheerleader like you? Abiamo tooto.
A father who lived an exemplary life and left us with such golden, invaluable name to be proud of. I am totally proud to be called your daughter, Daddy. I am!
You were a true and devoted God seeker. You brought us up in and showed us by example, the way of the lord. A prayer warrior you were, always praying and fasting. You were always seeking the things of the Lord. Your heart was completely sold out to Jesus. You will rather lose everything and gain heaven, such was your love for Christ since you became converted.
You were a good, passionately loving and fiercely faithful husband to mummy. It was from you we first heard of "Valentine's day” a long time ago while growing up when you observed the day by giving mummy a card. You were a shy romantic.
A great family man you were Daddy and not just to us of your nuclear family, but also to your extended family, that of mummy and even to people you have no blood ties with.
You were a great teacher who made his mark and impact in the teaching profession you diligently practised for good 35 years and some years more after retirement. You formed great relationships with your students and were ever caring and enthusiastic about them. You kept contact with some of your former students and some are now the big brothers and sisters we look up to in the medical, legal, and other professions. They paid back your labour of love so beautifully in your lifetime and they are still doing so after you passed on.
We need no one to tell us how good, generous, selfless, humble, and kind a person you were because we experienced all those first-hand. But then, many people have been coming to say good things about you and this makes us to be especially thankful to God for the life of the great man that fathered us. Everyone has one good thing or the other to say about you. I am grateful to God you lived a truly amazing and inspiring life.
Daddy, I can never forget back in 1997 when I had a bike accident and was on admission at the OAUTHC for four months. You came to the hospital to see me almost every day of my stay there. I can remember only two days that you did not come. You were completely there for me, caring for me and showing me love. I will never forget.
By your many acts of love and selflessness, you taught me how to love. I am grateful for that. How can I forget times you will just show up at my house and when you are leaving you will give Morayo your usual “white envelope" so casually. Many at times, the money was lifesaver for me and my child. I never cease to wonder how you always know when we need help. You were a true “Abiamo”, your caring fatherly instinct was so sharp.
I imbibed many values from you and even at your death, I am still learning from you. You were truly great, Daddy.
You inspired me to love to read. You were a voracious reader, who almost always go to the toilet with books or newspapers and can stay in there for hours reading. You were a prolific writer, an encyclopaedia of knowledge, who hardly forgets anything, birthday and wedding anniversaries, anything. You used to have dates at your fingertips. You were an orator; Daddy’s command of the English language is quite enviable.
You were a great leader and a man of the people who was very sociable and accommodating. You loved genuinely and stay loyal to people you called your friend. You always look out for your friends, you nurtured relationship so well.
You appreciate good food. You were a "foodie" who never grow fat. You always voice out your appreciation after eating a well-prepared meal you enjoyed. You also give gifts too in appreciation, no matter how small. I enjoyed being your chief cook after mummy's passing. It was worthwhile.
Daddy, you gave us a very good life not because you were rich, I mean you were just a "poor" teacher, but you gave the little you had selflessly to us, your God, extended family, friends, and even random people. You were generous to a fault, giving not only your money but also your time and yourself to others.
So many things to write about you, so many memories. I remember all our family trips back in those days, travelling across Nigeria to see your old friends and families and just knowing Nigeria while at it.
I remember all the snacks you always get for us from Leventis Stores or Kingsway or UTC stores every time you travel to Ibadan in the old Oyo State, for all your Association affairs, when you were the Chairman of Graduate Teacher's Association (GTA) and were active in All Nigeria Conference of Principals of Secondary Schools (ANCOPPS) and Nigeria Union of Teacher's (NUT) matters.
I remember the palm wine you used to buy almost every Saturday morning! The seller will come to the house every Saturday morning when coming from the farm. The palm wine was always fresh. You will buy in kegs and give us to drink and keep for your friends who never fails to show up almost every evening. You were sociable and accommodating and life was good. So many good memories to write about. I thank God for them all.
We had our father and daughter issues too but I never for once doubted your love for me and my siblings. You had our best interests at heart always and you loved us in your own special way. Thank you, Daddy.
You were not perfect, but you put more into the world than you took out. You were not driven by popularity, money, ambition, or power, you did good out of the goodness of your heart. Oh, how I wish you spent more years here on earth. You may not have lived or died a rich man, your true wealth is in the number of lives you influenced and shaped and are talking so glowingly about you today. That is true wealth, that was what mattered to you, building people up.
I really cannot find the words to describe how much I miss you. I will just say that you and mum should continue to sleep peacefully till we meet again at Jesus feet. Amen.
I will always love you, Daddy.
Your darling daughter, Olubukola Agbeke.
