UPDATE (September 22, 2022)
Mom's monument is now at Beth David right behind Julee's, looking over her shoulder as always.  Additionally, on her birthday today, I'll be adding some great photos of mom in her younger days.  Little by little, will continue to add photos and more to this page ... and sincerely appreciate any contributions anyone would like to make. A heartfelt thanks to everyone who has already contributed. - Josh

Memorial Service

Sunday, 18 April 2021 at 1100
Beth David Cemetery 
300 Elmont Rd, Elmont, NY 11003
Additional Information: Per mom's wishes, she was cremated.  Her ashes will be buried near Julee and a monument will eventually be erected.  Due to feedback I received from many related to COVID concerns, the service was pushed to mid-April and will be outdoors near the burial site.  Any questions, please feel free to use this website to contact me directly.  v/r Josh

This memorial page is created in the loving memory of Pam Tolk.  She was born Pamela Wendy Popler on September 22, 1950 in Brooklyn, New York.  Her parents were Irving and Mildred Popler, and she had a big brother Kenny.  Pam would go on to be an amazing mom to Julee and Josh Tolk, and then later on as Grammy Pammy.  Pam was and is loved by so many family and friends.  She passed too soon at the age of 70 on March 11, 2021.  This website is meant for everyone who knew her in any capacity to share whatever they would like about her, and the things, large and small, that made her so special.  With everyone's contributions, may it evolve over time to paint as close a picture as possible to the strong and loving person she was.

Respectfully and with sincerest thanks, 
Josh ... mom's "Scoot" forever and ever
Posted by Ken Popler on September 22, 2022
Missing our dear sister on her birthday. Ken and Lois Popler
Posted by Peggy Guillo on September 22, 2022
Another birthday without you Pam.  I miss you so much. So often I want to tell you something, or share something with you, and the sadness comes back.  Nancy and I talk about you often. You will forever be remembered and missed! 
Posted by JoAnn Maffia on September 22, 2022
Happy Heavenly Birthday my friend ! ❤️
Posted by Nancy Gulla on March 11, 2022
You are missed❤️
Posted by JoAnn Maffia on March 11, 2022
Rest In Peace my friend ❤️❤️
Posted by Lloyd aka Shmuel Wolkenfe... on September 22, 2021
Pammy will forever be my wonderful, ebullient, smiling first cousin. 
Posted by JoAnn Maffia on September 22, 2021
Sending lots of Birthdays wishes your way ... up to Heaven. With lots of Love ❤️ Forever you.
Posted by JoAnn Maffia on September 21, 2021
Omg this is such sad news, my deepest sympathy to Josh,Ronnie and Pam's family . I am so sorry for your loss . I had lost touch with Pam and upon searching I found this obituary. I thought of heard today remembering her Birthday is tomorrow 9/22 and was going to shoot her an email Happy Birthday. I worked with Pam for many years, I was just a kid 18 yrs old and she took me under her wing, at times she was best friend , sister and Mother. . She was a loving caring person who will be truly missed. We shared so many good, fun times esp at work, my wedding and just when we were together hang out. Sometimes Pam would pick me up and take me home from work, we would sing in the car the whole way .... she loved 50s music and we always listed to Brusy Bruce radio station 101 so many songs always remind me of her to this day ! We had a song too lol it was John secada" every time were together" because we always missed each other when one of us weren't at work. She was such good hearted human being . One day I received a card in the mail from her and said I won some money on a lottery ticket and this is for you. This is the kind of person Pam was, so giving. I am so sorry we lost touch Pan you will always be in my ♡ and forever missed RIP my sweet friend. - Jo Ann Maffia
Posted by Jennifer Fodor on April 13, 2021
I’ve been struggling to find the words to say about this awful news. Pam was a long time friend, co-worker and just a wonderful, caring person. I am still in shock over this and so sad. She was always there with great advice and if you needed to talk and truly was one of a kind. Would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it.

RIP old friend and will see you on the other side. 
Posted by Peggy Guillo on April 11, 2021
Pam.  You left us a month ago today.  Yet, it seems so long ago.  It’s taken me awhile to write this, because I’m still coming to terms with the fact that I won’t see or talk to you again.  We’ve been friends since we were teens.  While life took us in different directions over the years, we never lost touch.  And these last retirement years brought us closer together than ever.  You taught me so much, especially about cooking!  I will never take out one of your recipes without thinking about you. We laughed a lot about my cooking!  Laughing always came easy to us. And I think that’s what I will miss most.  The laughter.  Our phone calls went on forever, laughing about the crazy times in our past and present. We also shared some of the sad times. You were always a shoulder to cry on.  We were different in so many ways.  Yet, we appreciated the differences in each other.  We used to say if they mixed us together, we would make one perfect person. 
I wish you could read all the wonderful things people are writing here. I like to think you knew how each of us felt about you . You were loved my dear friend, and I will miss you forever. ❤️
Posted by Elyse Berkovitch on April 4, 2021
My cousin Pammy (as I called her) and I grew up together. As she was 4 years my senior I looked up to her and was thrilled whenever she would play with me and her stuffed bunny doll collection. What I remember most was what a rock she was. Always letting other people lean on her shoulders. I've lived three thousand miles away from her for the past 30 years, but there was never an occasion that went by without a cheerful text from her, a phone call or a trip to the east coast in which I saw her. She had a wonderful, positive perspective on life.
Josh, she said often how proud she was of you.
I will miss you my sweet Pammy. The world is a better place because of you.
Posted by Ken Popler on March 30, 2021
My sister, Pam. 70 years of our lives and our families’ lives intersecting. How can I distill our relationship into a few paragraphs?
We grew up together, moved around the country together as children and, later, shared our families together. We enjoyed the births of our children and shared the losses of our parents, our in-laws and of dear Julee.
Pam was a great friend to me and Lois and to my children and grandchildren. She was genuinely interested in their lives and always showed them her love.
My children remember her gala Christmas parties and other family events. She was a hostess extraordinaire. She made everyone feel so welcome.
She always remembered birthdays and other special days. No one could find funnier cards, although we all tried, without success, to top hers.
She was the sparkle in our family and we all miss her love. Ken
Posted by Ken Popler on March 30, 2021
From Lois Popler:  Pam was my sister-in-law and my friend. We met when I was 17 and she was 15. Thus, we shared many of life’s most important moments, both happy and sad. Pam was smart and witty, with a great sense of humor. One of the best parts of our conversations was the opportunity to share a laugh. She always brightened my day. Her birthday cards to me were always sweet and funny. She was loving and a wonderful aunt and great aunt to my children and grandchildren. I love and miss her. Lois Popler
Posted by Lynda Cantatore on March 24, 2021
You will truly be forever missed.

You were my dad's rock for so long, a loving, kind and generous mother to me and my sister, an amazing grammy pammy to all the grandkids, and a wonderful friend to me! Who am I going to talk to about everything now?  I miss you everyday but I am focusing on all the wonderful memories we created over the almost 30 years.  And I know that you are with us now in spirit, watching over dad and the ones you loved. We have seen the signs you are sending every day. 
Posted by Alison DEPRADINE on March 24, 2021
We will surely miss a person who had a profound and everlasting impact on our lives. A person who you can called or approach any time you were in a difficult situation. Pam presences on this earth will be surely miss. It was a great pleasure speaking and having the times we had with Pam . In this time of sadness we will be praying & hoping that the tolk family will be comforted and encouraged by love. We always remember how wonderful Pam was.
Posted by Jonathan Popler on March 22, 2021
Josh, Ruslana, Jaeden, Zachary, and Ronnie
I have so many great memories of Aunt Pam. As Prescott and others said, no birthday went by without a card or text from her. 
I loved going to her house for Christmas every year. 
She bought me my first GI Joes and always gave great presents. 
She talked me into going on some ride at Coney island that I was petrified of and I had a blast. 
I remember going to a million Yankees games (usually for your birthday). 
She was always great with my kids. 
I hope she's at rest and reunited with Julee. 
Posted by Lloyd aka Shmuel Wolkenfe... on March 20, 2021
Pammy was my first cousin, and just one year younger, so we were playmates lots. I just remember her as bubbly, laughing, and fun to be with. Her mother Millie was my father Irving Wolkenfeld's slightly older sister. [I previously wrote that she was younger, corrected with the help of cousin Kenny.]   That is, Grandma Gizela and Grandpa Pinchas/Paul had two children born in Europe, then Grandpa came to America, but WW I stopped all travel. After the war Grandpa sent money to Grandma and she came with the kids. They had two more American born children: Dad/Irving and Millie.  So they were close, so we visited pretty frequently.  My mother, Miriam Levy Wolkenfeld, and Millie were great friends, as I remember.
Posted by Wendy Kogut on March 20, 2021
There are no words to express my sincere condolences to Josh Ronnie and the rest of her family. Pam loved her family above anything else in her life. I met Pam riding the BM3 and we immediately became friends she became the Bus Mom to so many of us. She gave the best advise gave me a shoulder to lean on and always a listening ear with no judgment.

I have so many memories but the one thing she could do is always make the best of a bad situation.l. We walked together and helped each other the day of 9-11I would of never made home without her (and of course Ronnie came to the rescue for his Pam). I will always remember every bus ride all the gossip of the BM3 crew and I will forever be grateful for her sharing her life with me. I will always remember the day she won lotto and walking with her to pick up her check and always say i know someone who hit those 5 numbers and missed by one. Us sharing names I was Wendy Pamela and she Pamela Wendy. i could go on and on but all I know is I am a wiser stronger and better woman because of her. 

And never forget not that you Josh need to hear this but your mother was so proud of you. I know she told you but know she told everyone
Posted by Prescott Tolk on March 17, 2021
I haven't seen my Aunt Pam in many years, but I hear from her every year on my birthday without fail. She always remembers. I am not on any social media sites, so it is a special type of joy, since very few people outside of my family actually do remember to reach out to me. Always a cute note that causes me to fondly recall my youth, sitting in her kitchen on the holidays. 

She was a warm, loving person with an affinity for music. No matter how old I get, I can instantly conjure up an image of her sitting in the middle of a bus filled with Boy Scouts headed to a ski lodge in the Poconos as she sang along to Lloyd Price's "Personality," snapping her fingers and bopping to the beat the whole time. She certainly had a lot of personality and the biggest smile.

I'll miss her dearly.
Posted by Jeffrey Tolk on March 15, 2021
Dear Joshua,
I'm very sorry for your loss as well as Jaeden and Zachary’s. Your mother was a major part of my life. We gave birth to two beautiful children. We both lost mothers at the early age of 70. It will always be a big void.
I wish you the best and my grandsons a beautiful life as they have a guardian angel watching over them.
Respectfully with love,
Your Father
Posted by DAN BARATTA on March 14, 2021
Well where can I start. Granny Pammy has always had a big impact on our lives and we are truly better because of it. 

Not only was she known as our second mother for many years until the title of Granny Pammy took over.

We knew that there would never be a holiday where we wouldn't receive a nice text or phone call with a happy "whatever holiday it was" and truly looked forward to those texts/calls. We are truly sad that we will not receive any of those anymore.

Grammy Pammy always loved us as if we were her own and we were so happy to be able to meet Josh and Julee because of it. Josh and Julee quickly became some of our best friends. Ronnie also became a welcome part of the family throughout the years. 

I remember Josh teaching me how to play Hockey. Well until I broke his glasses with a hockey puck to his face. And as a good friend, he laughed it off, blood dripping down and all, but nonetheless laughed it off. At least on the outside.

Now Julee, We all know how special Julee Was. So Special that we used her name and interesting spelling as our first child's middle name. Julee and I had a very special/interesting relationship. Sometimes it was good, sometimes not so much, Like when I broke her collarbone (on accident)and YES she never let me forget it.

The best thing I can do I imagine how much fun/reminiscing Grammy Pammy is finally able to do with Julee and although that doesn't make it feel any better. I bet Grammy Pammy is so happy to be re-untied with Julee and many other loved ones. 

Now please forgive me if this is not the happy go lucky post, but it has impacted my life ever since. 

Let's start out with, We were all dumb kids at one point, right?

The most influential Grammy Pammy was for me, was me and Julee at about the age of maybe 10 decided to go to McCrory's store and steal anything we could get our little sticky fingers on. These items included the much needed, could not live without Candy, Hankerchiefs, notebooks as well as anything else we could fit into Julee's backpack.  Please keep in mind that we were literally 10 years old or so and we were just putting stuff in the back pack with no reason or concern. 

Well you know where this story is headed. We got caught, Of course. I remember since my mother was out of town or working(don't remember, not unlike her to work three jobs to support us) Grammy Pammy had to come and pick us up. 

Before my mom ever knew what happened, Pam had arranged for one of her friends whom was a police officer to come pay us a visit. Please keep in mind that we were not aware of anything other than " holy crap, this is a cop looking for us!!!"

Never did I find out until MANY, MANY years later that was Grammy Pammy friend. But since that day I have never, ever stolen another thing again. 

We have had many other times throughout the years, but this is the most influential story that I can remember.

We can all be sure that we are better off because our beloved Pamela Wendy Tolk was in our lives. Unfortunately, we will not see her again until our time comes, but we all know that she will be there waiting for us. Waiting to hang and just tell stories about the old times, waiting to just be able to spend some time. Waiting to be able to go back and just remember how good it was while she was with us. 

That is all I can ever hope for as I assume very many of you would feel the same. 

Until we meet again Grammy Pammy, We Love You and Miss You and look forward to the day we can meet again. 


Leave a Tribute

Recent Tributes
Posted by Ken Popler on September 22, 2022
Missing our dear sister on her birthday. Ken and Lois Popler
Posted by Peggy Guillo on September 22, 2022
Another birthday without you Pam.  I miss you so much. So often I want to tell you something, or share something with you, and the sadness comes back.  Nancy and I talk about you often. You will forever be remembered and missed! 
Posted by JoAnn Maffia on September 22, 2022
Happy Heavenly Birthday my friend ! ❤️
Recent stories

Chicken Mc Pam - My family's favorite!

Shared by JoAnn Maffia on September 21, 2021
I believe it was Julee's Bat mitzvah when Pam introduced me to Chicken Mc Pam's . They were Ahhhmazzing !!!  She took chicken cutlets and cut them into strips, egg and coated each one w/ bread crumbs and then fried them. After she fried them she placed them on a flat sheet and drizzled pure honey over them and baked for 10mins.  She called them Chicken Mc Pam's . This is one of my family favorites w make them all the time. Jo Ann Maffia 

Pammys famous Mac and cheese

Shared by Rachel Ashley on March 23, 2021
Pam was my step moms ( Mindy ) best friend, the Mac and cheese queen and an all around great person! 

I remember going to AC with Pam, Mindy and my sister and we had so much fun , even though we lost , spending time with her was always fun !! 

pam also introduced me to her famous Mac and cheese and because she shared the recipe with me  I will forever think of her when I make it .

you will be missed Pammy  

Forever our “Grammy Pammy”

Shared by Alexis Matonti on March 18, 2021
I am so lucky to have grown up with you in my life. I can still hear you laughing while we were getting pedicures and making Christmas cookies.
I can’t even explain how much love we have for you and how much we are going to miss you. 
We love you Grammy Pammy