ForeverMissed
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This memorial website was created in the memory of our loved one, Pat Shanks, 66, born on April 19, 1946 and passed away on June 2, 2012. We will remember her forever.

A public Memorial Life Celebration will be held at the Lion's Shelter at Lake Arrowhead in Luray, Virginia on July 1, 2012 from 2p-4pm.  All friends, family and community are welcome to attend to celebrate her generous spirit, love of nature and pride in family and community. 

Private family service to be held at 10am on Sunday, July 1st.

June 2, 2023
June 2, 2023
After 20 years the hurt is gone, only good memories remain. You would be proud of your children. Jennie is like you (that’s good) and like me (maybe not so good, but she’s fiercely protective of those without a voice, the marginalized, ignored, discriminated against). Geoff has remarried a beautiful woman from Uganda where they reside; they will be here on Monday. Cindy has moved into a delightful Matheny group home and she is happier than we have seen her since you left us. Jenn and I visited her last week. Sarah and Matt also have new group homes and they are content and well cared for. Jenn does the heavy lifting now and wrestles with the bureaucracy and the professional coordination (which is more challenging than the bureaucracy). Mike is still in Staunton. You are missed every day, especially by your grandchildren and the great-grandchildren you’ve not met. We will all see you in the bye-and-bye.
April 20, 2020
April 20, 2020
Life has a funny way of flying by - it been 8 years since we last celebrated birthdays. Spring is here and everywhere I look, I see the colors that delighted you - those pinks and greens that hurt your eyes they’re so vibrant. I dreamt of you the other night - I had run out of straight pins while sewing face masks (which I am doing even in my sleep now) and was ransacking drawers throughout your house. You calmly told me to stop and slow down - and just reuse the ones I already had - because that was how you rolled. Practical, easy going, situation under control always. We need a lot more of that right now! I miss you. Happy birthday.
June 2, 2019
June 2, 2019
Happy Birthday Pat. I think of you often and miss you.
April 20, 2019
April 20, 2019
Happy birthday Ma. You’d be a sassy 73 today. What I wouldn’t give to have you here to share a meal, kick back and listen to the rain and just catch up. I feel more than a little lost lately and struggle to remember your voice (though is was always close to mine and lord knows your words find their way out of my mouth more often than not!). I do not know that I live up to all the promises I made every day - but to my knowledge all the kids, grandkids and great-grandkids are doing well. Those twins though - you know you love them the best!! You are ever present in our thoughts and I see you pushing my yard to behave and grow nicely and for that I thank you! I love you. xo J
April 21, 2018
April 21, 2018
Oh Grandma Pat how I miss you so. I went for a nature walk the other day.... I knew you were right with me. I miss being able to talk to you and ask for your advice. You always knew what to say or do even when I didn't want to hear it. I hope I make you proud. I feel sometimes I may disappoint but, I strive to be everything you were and taught me to be. I have stumbled along the way but, I hear you in my head and that helps me. I am continuing my nursing and music is still my passion. When the world is dark, music lights my way. Your memory lives on in so many ways and there is not a day that I don't think of you....I love you and miss you more than you know.
April 20, 2018
April 20, 2018
Thought of you yesterday on your birthday. Miss you and love you.
April 19, 2018
April 19, 2018
Happy birthday, Ma! I was just noting the lack of Spring in our area a week ago and the yesterday, in anticipation of your birthday - it all “popped”! The fuschia of the redbuds are peeking through the woods and the “so-green-it-hurts-your-eyes” of newly sprung leaves are dotting across the mountain landscapes. I hear your voice guide me as I counsel my kids, patients and myself and, while thankful, Miss you every day still. Your grandkids are all plugging away at school, dabbling in career ideas and carrying the seeds you planted all those years ago - Jack has a regular succulent farm in his dorm and Emma can craft anything that comes her way. She’s even preparing to teach special ed. Imagine that!! Francesca’s still singing - that voice! And Thomas - his glorious military achievements are overshadowed by those gorgeous babies - Killian and Quinn (I suspect you’ve been holding Quinn a bit though, haven’t you?!).  Your kitties are thriving, fat and happy.  The only thing we are missing is you - but you make your presence known and that’s a good thing. Love, me
June 2, 2017
June 2, 2017
Today is a sad day. However, I am so glad to have been Pat's friend and treasure the memories.
June 2, 2017
June 2, 2017
Five years gone and I still reach for the phone to call you for all the big and little things. I know you are always there and your voice is in my head guiding me. Love you, Ma! ❤️
April 19, 2017
April 19, 2017
Happy Birthday Pat. I've been thinking about you and so many wonderful memories. I was Blessed to be your friend. Miss you. God Bless.
April 19, 2017
April 19, 2017
Hi Mom__   HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!   I Hope Your Having A Great^Blessed^Pleasant^ Happy Birthday Today Mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    I LOVE YOU ALOT MOM!!!!!!!!!  Amelia Also Says (Meow___Happy Birthday Mom!!!!!!    Amelia And I Hope You Have A Great Happy Birthday Today Mom!!!!!!!!    With Lots Of Love From Mike&Amelia!!(Meow!!!)___
June 2, 2016
June 2, 2016
It's been four years since I last saw your face. In some ways, it's like time has flown. Kids grow up, we've moved, found new loves, added new friends and pets, remodeled and gardened and so many things you would have thrilled at and joined in. I miss your words of wisdom, your quiet and comforting presence, knowing you are often the first person I think about calling when things happen (good or bad), and you aren't there still catches me off guard. I look for you every time I'm in the woods, knowing you are there, somewhere just out of my sight. I love you, ma. Always will.
May 8, 2016
May 8, 2016
Hello Mom!!!  Good Morning!!!!   Happy Mother's Day!!!!!!!           Amelia Says Hello Also (Meow!!!!)...           We Both Wish You A Great, Wonderful, Excellent, And A Very Blessed Mother's Day Today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Love, Mike&Amelia..
April 19, 2016
April 19, 2016
Hi Mom,  HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!   Amelia Says Happy Birthday Also!!!!  (((MEOW!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!!))).............         Amelia And I Miss You ALOT!!!!         I Am Always Thinking Of You And The Joy You Brought Myself, Amelia, And My Friends When You Visited!!!!!!!      I Hope You Had A Wonderful, Excellent, Great, Nice, And A Very Super Blessed Happy Birthday In Heaven Today Mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     I LOVE YOU ALOT MOM!!!  LOVE, MIKE AND AMELIA!!!!!
April 19, 2016
April 19, 2016
Dear Pat,
Happy Birthday. I will always miss you but I am grateful for the memories. I have three kids over the summer...a "camp" like yours. We always make trips to the mountains and I feel like I'm walking with you. The kids love it and try to identify birds, butterflies, flowers, etc. All of this is a result of your love for the mountains and our mountain trips after I moved back to Virginia. I had forgotten how much fun we had in the WV mountains as kids with your parents and sisters. Again, thanks for the memories. Love, Nancy
March 29, 2016
March 29, 2016
You popped into my head today, so far I've been awake for 22 hours pulling guard duty and I couldn't help but think back to the times you would tell me "A growing young man needs his sleep."
  It's been 4 years since I've seen you and through all my hard headed teenage years in the past, I would give anything just to spend another Christmas, Birthday, Nature Walk or just to flat out talk to you again, to tell you about all the adventures I've been on since I enlisted and that I hope I'm making you proud.
  I miss you dearly Grandma Pat and I hold tight to the memories,
         Love always,
            Thomas
June 2, 2015
June 2, 2015
It's been 3 years since I last saw your face. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't have a moment where I think, "What would Mom do or what would Mom say...". It's been a hard road but we"re making it through. Emma turns 18 today. She's beautiful and smart and a lot like you - strong, practical and an advocate for th downtrodden and misunderstood. You'd be so very proud. And even though you are not with me, I feel your spirit in the plants I tend, the trees and mountains surrounding me, the peace and serenity when I am home with my family. Love you always, J
June 2, 2015
June 2, 2015
I never met Pat but I know of the love that she produced through her family. She must have been a wonderful, caring and loving soul that gave of herself unconditionally. My thoughts will be with all of you.
April 20, 2015
April 20, 2015
Happy birthday Pat, you were an inspiration sent from above, Your mannerism and demeanor tells me how passionate your were. Your unconditional love for your children and others has left a lasting impression in this life. I know You are with your Father in heaven May Your Soul Rest In Peace. You have taught me a lot!!
April 19, 2015
April 19, 2015
Happy Birthday my friend. We all miss your kindness, humor and wisdom. I always think of you on this day and also think of you when I see the mountains.
April 19, 2015
April 19, 2015
Hello Mom, Good Morning!!!   I Would Like To Wish You A Nice, Great, Wonderful, Excellent, And Super Blessed Happy Birthday Today!!!   You Were Super Nice To All Of My Friends!!!!! And, I Would Like To Thank You For That!!!!  They All Love You Alot!!!!!!!!    Amelia Says "Meow!!!!" (Happy Birthday Mom!!!! From Amelia!!!!   She Really Misses You Alot Mom!!!!!!  I Remember All Of The Funny Moments We Had Together!!!!  Have A Blessed Day Mom!!!!   Love,Mike
June 2, 2014
June 2, 2014
The pictures of Pat with her children and in the mountains are wonderful. They say so much about her love and passion. She was remarkable and will continue to be in the hearts of those of us who loved her.
April 21, 2014
April 21, 2014
When we lived in Winchester, VA, Pat and I always celebrated our birthdays with a meal at Jolly Jack's a popular drive-in at the time. The menu was always the same, a cheeseburger, fries and the best (in our opinion) chocolate milkshake in the world. I'm so glad we friends and I do miss Pat.
June 2, 2013
June 2, 2013
Too many memories to capture one. She was my oldest sister and
my mentor. I will miss her forever.
June 2, 2013
June 2, 2013
This past year has been a long and winding road - one that required several stops and changes in course. I always feel your presence and know you are enjoying the journey. Emma turns 16 today, and I know your absence is felt keenly by her but the lessons you imparted on her remain and she is a testament to the power of Granny Tough every day! Miss and love you, Ma.  Love, Jennie
April 21, 2013
April 21, 2013
On the day you were born the angels came,
To send a blessing in his name
A blessing for all to know
That would help so many as they grow
Someone to do his earthly deeds
To touch the lives of those in need
Happy Birthday, My Blessing, I miss you
April 19, 2013
April 19, 2013
Missing you everyday. You'd be proud of the work Jack has put into the gardens on the patio. Spring is here and they will shout with glory and greenery! Happy birthday! I love you.
April 19, 2013
April 19, 2013
Happy Birthday Mom. You are so deeply missed and we will love you always. Thinking of you on this special day.

Love always,

Geoff
August 26, 2012
August 26, 2012
Sorry to hear that she has passed..the shanks were like my second family ..I was one of there fresh air fund kids who spent wonderful summer with the family..my prayers go out to the family..she will never be forgotten
June 29, 2012
June 29, 2012
Pat is in a place of all understanding and love. My oldest sister
taught me much about sharing with others what one would otherwise
never have. She loved her gardens and shared that emotion with me.
She is forever in my heart.
June 12, 2012
June 12, 2012
I never had the pleasure of meeting Pat, but I know how wonderful she was through my sister Wendy Aspinall who became very close to Pat. I am so very sorry for her tragic loss and I know she will be greatly missed by all who loved her.....In our hearts forever.
June 10, 2012
June 10, 2012
Thinking of Pat and how she imparted love and humor to her family. My heartfelt sympathy to Jenn and those closest to Pat; I know she was a rock for many.
June 9, 2012
June 9, 2012
I've seen fire and I've seen rain.
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend.
But I always thought that I'd see you again.
June 9, 2012
June 9, 2012
I meet her by Jenn..she was a supportive mother and grandmother.She was a strong woman and they will miss her dearly. Our lives passed again when she was my father nurses at Lifecare. We had to go with comfort care for him and again she was so supportive and explained to me the way it was best for him and for our family..She was a angel that I passed twice in my life.
June 9, 2012
June 9, 2012
Pat you have been my friend and co-worker for 3 years. You set the true example of sacrifice and caring and unselfish love by how you lived your life. I'm honored to have known you and to be able to call you friend. We at Life Care will miss you terribly.
June 9, 2012
June 9, 2012
" Words can't express how much I miss my Grandma. She was always the best grandma, always wanted to be with her. She helped mold me into who I am today. She taught me so much. She always had such a big heart. She inspired me to become a nurse and help people as she always did. I cherish all the memories."Live well,Love Much,Laugh often." All these she did so well. I Love you Grandma Pat!"
June 8, 2012
June 8, 2012
Pat was a beautiful caring person who will be greatly missed. I would like to thank Granny Tough for sharing her love of the outdoors with my children. Thank you for raising a wonderful daughter that I am proud to say is one of my best friends. The reason people love her so much is because of the way that you raised her.
June 8, 2012
June 8, 2012
" For the 17 years I have known Pat, she has always had a smile, kind word, and most gracious heart. Pat was such an inspiration to be around, and her presence was like "of an angel". She was a special friend to me, and I'll cherish every memory I have of our time together. My heart goes out to the family for this tragic loss. May the sunshine she left, always shine in our lives.
June 7, 2012
June 7, 2012
In 1964 Pat & I took a bus to New York City. We spent a week with my classmate from college's family. The New York World Fair was open and Lita's father got us priority tickets. No wait for the venues. Others were in line for hour, us for minutes. We also went to Coney Island, rode the roller coaster, toured NYC, ate our first Chinese food and saw the ocean for the first time. Great fun!
June 7, 2012
June 7, 2012
I only knew Pat through the example she set for her daughter, Jenn. The two years that I was privileged to spend with Jenn showed me that she came from a source of love and strength. My true heartfelt condolences to Jenn and her family. May you celebrate your mother's life through her example in the years to come.
June 7, 2012
June 7, 2012
The main time I spent with Granny Tough was one day when my mom and Jenn went to the craft fair. It was a fun day and we fed horses and found a praying mantis. I'm going to miss her.
June 7, 2012
June 7, 2012
Thank you Pat for teaching our children the beauty of nature and how to be kind to Mother Earth.
All our love,
Kim, JJ and Hayden
June 7, 2012
June 7, 2012
I was not fortunate enough to meet Pat, but I know she was a wonderful woman who raised a funny, loving, kind daughter. She touched many lives, and I know she will be missed.
June 7, 2012
June 7, 2012
Pat welcomed me into her family as Jenn & I began our lives after college. Her humor, wisdom, and listening ear on countless visits to her home made Pat almost a "mom-away-from-home" that year. You inspired many people in many ways.
June 7, 2012
June 7, 2012
You are my dear friend's lovely mother, a friend to me and a step-grandma to my children. We have shared wonderful Thanksgivings together and outings to the wilderness and horses. She had a quick wit, loving and warm heart and was so patient and giving. We will surely miss this wonderful treasure of a mom.
June 7, 2012
June 7, 2012
While I only had a few opportunities to really get to know Pat, she was always kind to me. I know through Andrew's family that she has always been a kind, caring and loving person. She will be missed dearly. The times I was able to spend with her, whether for a good occasion or a bad one, she was always bright and positive.
June 7, 2012
June 7, 2012
" In memory of our mother... i will really miss her laughs, her kind words, my friends will also really miss her alot also!!~~~  they have gotten to really know her both as a friend and a super nice person!!~~~~~~~~  she will always be looking at us from above.................  It's So Hard to want to believe she is gone!~~~~~~~~~~~~
June 6, 2012
June 6, 2012
Pat has been my friend since the 10th grade. Years and life experiences never changed her. She remained kind, loving, generous and funny. Pat shared her love, talents and wisdom with so many. Those of us who shared Pat's life were truly blessed and we will carry her in our heart always.
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Recent Tributes
June 2, 2023
June 2, 2023
After 20 years the hurt is gone, only good memories remain. You would be proud of your children. Jennie is like you (that’s good) and like me (maybe not so good, but she’s fiercely protective of those without a voice, the marginalized, ignored, discriminated against). Geoff has remarried a beautiful woman from Uganda where they reside; they will be here on Monday. Cindy has moved into a delightful Matheny group home and she is happier than we have seen her since you left us. Jenn and I visited her last week. Sarah and Matt also have new group homes and they are content and well cared for. Jenn does the heavy lifting now and wrestles with the bureaucracy and the professional coordination (which is more challenging than the bureaucracy). Mike is still in Staunton. You are missed every day, especially by your grandchildren and the great-grandchildren you’ve not met. We will all see you in the bye-and-bye.
April 20, 2020
April 20, 2020
Life has a funny way of flying by - it been 8 years since we last celebrated birthdays. Spring is here and everywhere I look, I see the colors that delighted you - those pinks and greens that hurt your eyes they’re so vibrant. I dreamt of you the other night - I had run out of straight pins while sewing face masks (which I am doing even in my sleep now) and was ransacking drawers throughout your house. You calmly told me to stop and slow down - and just reuse the ones I already had - because that was how you rolled. Practical, easy going, situation under control always. We need a lot more of that right now! I miss you. Happy birthday.
Recent stories

They call her Grannie Tough

June 30, 2012

During the summer of 2009, Jack spent the summer as a solo grandchild at Camp Grannie while Emma travelled cross country with her dad.  Their days were spent doing fantastically fun things like hiking, biking, zoo trips, feeding the ducks and doing crafts.  On afternoon, after returning to Big Meadows for a well deserved treat after a big hike that included spottings of both deer and a bear, Jack proclaimed he had never met a Grannie as Tough as his - and the new nickname "Grannie Tough" was born.  Since that time, both Emma and Jack, as well as several of their friends have returned to Camp Grannie during the summer to experience the thrills (sometimes unintentional) of fun in the great outdoors.  Popular with the young, the old and everyone in between, Jordan Berger (Camp Grannie, 2011) declared "Grannie Tough got game!"  High praise from teenagers no doubt!

If it's Monday....it must be Storybook Trail

June 11, 2012

Every Monday, Mom and Sarah have a date.  If it's a beautiful day, warm or cool, it involves a walk on either Storybook Trail or the Greenway in Luray.  As added incentive, some ice cream at Flotzi's or McDonalds round things out nicely.  Sometimes in the summer the kids would join this weekly outing.  Sometimes in the Fall, Katy would as well.  Keeping up with the nonstop chatter, Mom will push and Sarah will narrate and at the end is always the reward of a beautiful vista, overlooking Page County in all its scenic glory.

Camp Grannie

June 11, 2012

After my children were born, I made a firm vow that my kids would "know" their grandparents - not just for vacations or holidays but lazy days, boring days, sunny days and rainy days. At first it was difficult, living in Los Angeles, making the trek to Luray meant making it worthwhile so we'd come for a month in the summer.  After moving to Virginia in 2002, we lived with mom for a year while I house hunted and started my nursing career.  The kids had round the clock Grannie time. And when we moved to McGaheysville, the kids still got to see her pretty regularly.  Camp Grannie started when their summer playground groups went on holiday or ended (not sure why it always ended 3 weeks before school started but it did).  Working with no frills, low budget and focused on good old fashioned outdoor activities and crafts, Camp Grannie was a huge success.  In fact, Emma and Jack had friends who would beg to join them!  I think it is extraordinary that they got the opportunity to make so many lasting memories over the past decade with mom in a way that I never really had with my own grandparents.  For them, forever, she will be "Grannie Tough".

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