I have known my mother-in-law for almost 14 years since she graciously entrusted her beautiful daughter to me in marriage. I never forgot the very first time I met this very soft spoken woman at her humble abode in Lagos. I found a woman of great simplicity, humility and selflessness. I first wondered what made her that way until I found out how deeply committed to God she was. This woman belonged to the famed Deeper Life Ministry of God, and for her, God and her redemption was everything. Every other thing in life paled in comparison. She reminded me a lot about my own mother who had already transitioned many years back to be with her God.
And so it was a very easy decision to invite my great mother-in-law to join my wife and I (we were yet to have any children) to the United States. It was not because my wife is an only child; it was because I needed her strong spiritual influence on my yet unborn children. This great woman joined my family in the United States at a period when we needed every support we could ever get since we were not only starting a brand new family, my wife was also going through the very rigorous process of establishing her medical career in the United States. My mother-in-law went to work as soon as my first child, a baby boy, was born. With her motherly wisdom she coached my wife, with her selflessness she cooked and cleaned while nurturing the new child to the point of almost spoiling him…to a fault. Always the last to go to bed and the first to be up and running in the morning; she was so tireless I have no idea how she did it. How impressed was I to observe her retreat to her room to read the bible at every opportunity she had. This woman was literally “married” to her God and she truly exhibited the fruits of the Spirit.
And so for years to come she continued to provide her support and became an integral part of my family, traveling and moving with us everywhere we lived. She was not just a mother-in-law to me; she was a mother, and to the chagrin of most men that make fun of their mother-in-laws, I was always proud of this woman of godly integrity. For many years, she was there to share all our laughter, joy and sadness, successes and failures. In every situation she was the prayer warrior who prayed for us. She was literally “the wind beneath our wings”, and with her gentle smiles she was always urging my wife and I to go onward in unity and build up our family.
My mother-in-law’s selflessness was simply legendary! This woman would give away, to her less fortunate extended family members in Nigeria, every financial resource we made available to her. She would bypass every opportunity to acquire personal fancy clothes or jewelry, and rather preferring that the money be given to her in cash so that she could wire to her relatives in Nigeria. She basically lived in the PRESENT trusting God to continue to provide for her future. As much as these unique qualities “frustrated” my wife and me, we quietly admired this woman that lived every bit of Mathew 6:25-34: a shining example that was very difficult to emulate in our present materialistic world.
As her responsibility to our young family began to wind down with our children growing older and more independent, it was time for her to transition to her own independence. Even as she lived alone in an apartment we provided for her, five minutes away from our home, she continued to support us by regularly watching her grandchildren after school. After living with us for many years, she struggled with her transition to personal independence, but she was still graceful about it. She needed a new purpose in life as a natural care-giver, and she found it when she relocated to Nigeria to take care of her very aging mother- a task she performed so well until her mother passed on at a very ripe age of about 100 years! From the moment my mother-in-law relocated to Nigeria our relationship with her gradually became “long-distance” but her legacy continued to be present in my household. She called us from Nigeria like a clock-work; and this included every occasion in our lives. She would call and sing “Happy Birthdays” to each of her grandchildren; she never missed a birthday even up to a few days before she took her last breath. Needless to say that we have preserved some of her voicemail birthday songs for posterity.
We were hoping against hope that she would decide to return to the United States and visit with her grandchildren from time to time; but it was not meant to be. Oh what fond memories her grandchildren have of her peculiar ways, of her unique accent and mannerisms! Who can forget her singing abilities! She praised God in songs, often filling the air in her room with her stylish vocal prowess, singing and praising God through the midnight hours!
Now that she has transitioned to be with her God, I cannot but be very grateful that this gentle soul once crossed my path in life. My family and I rejoice in the fact that she did not only leave an undying legacy in our hearts, she is now singing Hallelujahs in the presence of a Holy God, her Master, and her All! My family and I celebrate you, a woman of God.
Adios…gentle lady. Adios till the final reunion of all the redeemed children of God!
The Son-In-Law
