Mom, I am missing you everyday.  You being gone hurts less and less with every passing day but it doesn't stop me from missing you.  Things are not going well with the family right now mom.  Im sorry i can't keep eveyone together for you the way you wanted.  I'm sorry im not yet the person you wanted me to be.  I'm trying mom, so damn hard to do the right thing but i keep messing things up.  Not doing it in the right way even though my intentions are pure.  I love you mom and i know you would be yelling at me to for what im doing.  But i also know you want me to be happy, healthy and safe.  thats what im trying to accomplish.  I really am.  I wish you were here but at the same time im glad your not here to see what has become of our family.  I am trying very hard to take care of dad but it seems like no matter what i do he can't accept my decisions and is shutting me out.  Im so sorry mom that i have faild.  Im sorry i haven't done things the way you would have wanted me to. Im sorry mom.  Im so damn sorry 
I love you
I miss you.
your daughter always
Jeannette