Patrick Callanan
Patrick Joseph Callanan
  • 82 years old
  • Date of birth: Apr 11, 1934
  • Date of passing: Mar 17, 2017
Let the memory of Patrick be with us forever

This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Patrick Callanan, 82, born on April 11, 1934 and passed away on March 17, 2017. We will remember him forever.

Services will be held at 11am on Saturday, March 25 at The Nazareth House, 3333 Manning Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90064. 

There will be a reception afterwords at the same location, and no burial, as Patrick's wishes were to be buried next to his family in Ireland.  

Patrick  Ashes will be returning to Ireland on April 27th. There be a services on April 29th at Clostoken church at 12.00 noon and a burial afterwords where he will be layed to his final resting place in the Callanan family plot at Clostoken graveyard
In lieu of flowers, Patrick would have wanted a donation in his name to Smile Train or any charity of your choice.

Memorial Tributes
This tribute was added by teresa Hilderbrand on 26th March 2017

"I'm so sorry for your loss I know how hard it is to loose someone you love. I also have a brother and sister Earl and Patricia Grubb on this site. He seemed to be a very kind person. I hope you find peace and comfort some way. I find it on this site. My prayers are with the family. Again I'm so sorry"

This tribute was added by Mary Moline on 26th March 2017

"Patrick was my teacher, my friend, my guide,  and he had a wicked sense of humor which brought people together.  Humor is healing and Patrick was a healer.  I am a better person because I was lucky to be around him, laugh with him and have him challenge me.  Patrick was to me a great man.   He did not let me get away with things and yet I knew he was there for me.  I loved Patrick like a brother and miss him.  I know he is in heaven watching over us, laughing and getting to do that which he has not been able to do for awhile like golf.  I love you Patrick and I will never forget you."

This tribute was added by Donna Smaldino on 23rd March 2017

"Have added some pictures from Patrick's 60th birthday, Frank's 40th costume birthday party (Patrick is a United Flight Attendant and Frank as an old lady), Heidi's 28th birthday party, and hiking with the Corey's.  All these photos bring back fabulous memories."

This tribute was added by Jamie Bludworth on 20th March 2017

"Patrick came into my life when I was in a period of transition.  I felt insecure and uncertain about my choices.  He sat with me and held my gaze so intently.  He didn’t shy away from my pain and he certainly didn’t let me get away with avoiding it, either.  His compassion and sense of humor were quick and he helped me laugh at myself when all seemed lost.  What amazed me was the way in which he allowed me to see his reactions and responses to the work we were doing.  He didn’t just tell me that it was okay to be a full person with my clients, he showed me by his example.  He gave me advice that still resonates and that I pass on to my students today.  I told him how much he influenced my life…but I am not sure if he ever could really know how his way of being has reverberated and affected countless other people whom he never met.  I am grateful to have known Patrick.  I believe he leaves a legacy of integrity, kindness, authenticity, and compassion to all who had the great fortune to know him."

This tribute was added by Paul Jacobson on 19th March 2017

"It’s difficult to see our heroes grow old and frail, let alone die. Patrick was one of mine, and the most influential person in my adult life.
We formed our therapeutic relationship when I was on the cusp of becoming a licensed professional. This transition from student to professional life was filled with inner conflicts from my family sources, uncertain new relationships, and confusion with my reactions toward the families I counseled. Patrick was truly there for me in the midst of this turmoil, and assisted in becoming the adult I am today.
We discussed my most secret and hidden experiences, feelings which were difficult to acknowledge let alone talk about, and in doing so released the specter of human choice into my responsibility.
His immediacy, authenticity, and wit continued to impress upon me what’s possible in a human life. Mentor, role model, friend, confidant, and healer, he was instrumental in assisting my becoming a better human being, a therapist, and being interconnected with the matrix of helping others throughout human existence.
What amazing fortune! A legacy of spiritual inter-connection to have encountered and connected with the likes of Jerry, Marianne, J Michael, and Patrick. They planted the internal seeds which have continued to grow throughout my life.
Patrick and his voice have been internalized through repeated internal conversations assisting in my struggles. Thankfully, I know he also did similarly with 100’s of others.
Although he is gone his voice will continue to be inside me for the duration of mine."

This tribute was added by David Weddle on 19th March 2017

"I imagine most of us can count on one hand the number of people who have actually changed our lives.   Patrick Callanan was one of those people for me.  He profoundly altered the course of my life.  I would not have the life I have today, I would not be married, I would not be a father and grandfather, I would not have the career that has been so rewarding and allowed all of my dreams to come true, if I had not met Patrick.  He gave me the tools to achieve all of this.  Patrick taught me above all to value myself, to love myself, to have the courage to pursue the things I wanted from life, and he gave me the tools to do that.  He made a man out of me, in the most profound sense of the word.  He finished the work that my own parents could not complete because of their limitations.

I met Patrick at the mountain top home of Jerry and Marianne Corey in 1978, at a weeklong encounter group which Patrick led with the Coreys and Mike Russell.  How lucky I was to live in that time and place, to participate in those weeklongs!  People write about the magic of Paris in the 20s, or San Francisco in the Summer of Love.  But I would not trade those experiences for Idyllwild in the 70s and 80s.  Anyone who participated in those weeklongs knows how magical they were.  People bared their souls, their darkest secrets, their ugliest demons, their most searing personal pain.  And under the guidance of Patrick, Jerry, Marianne and Mike, they learned transcend the wounds that had crippled them.  I am honored to have been there.

After meeting Patrick at a weeklong, I saw him in individual therapy sessions for about two years.  Patrick had an uncanny ability to climb inside your head and give voice to complex feelings and thoughts that you were unable to articulate yourself.  The effect was so powerful it raised the hairs on the back of my neck.  I remember one time talking about the death of my grandfather – who was an Irish farmer, from a family like Patrick’s.  I was talking about how that early experience with death haunted me and the power death still held over me.  Patrick spoke in that low hypnotic voice of his, putting words to my emotions.  “You hate death because you can’t control it.  It comes without warning and snatches away someone you care about and there is not a thing you can do about it.”

You are right Patrick.  I hate it.  I’ve had a lot more experience with death since that session, but I hate it just as much.  I hate that it has now taken you from me and there is not a thing I can do about.  I can’t pick up the phone and hear your soft Irish lilt, I can’t go to Calabasas and see that mischievous twinkle in your eye, can’t feel your strength when you clasp my hand.
But I have the memories of those things, I have your words, which still reverberate in my mind and will until I myself take my final breath.

After two years of therapy Patrick said to me one afternoon:  “All right, you’re done.  You have all the tools.  You don’t need me anymore.”  I was shocked.  Who ever heard of a therapist who kicked you out of his office?  Over the years that followed, I would hit a crisis from time to time and go see him and at the end of one session he would say:  “Okay, you know what to do.  You don’t need me.”  He got me to stand on my own two feet.

The last time I reached out to him was the day my mother died.  That was 21 years ago.  After my mom took her final gasp, I cried and cried and cried for hours throughout the whole day.  Despite all of my therapeutic tools, I began to panic.  I thought I was losing my mind.  What if I can’t stop crying?  What if I’ve lost my equilibrium?  So I called Patrick.  He listened to me blubber into the phone for a few minutes then said to me:  “It sounds to me like you are doing exactly what you need to do.  The depth of your pain is a measure of how much you loved your mother.  Keep doing it.”  And then he hung up.  Immediately the panic receded and I knew I would be okay.

I’ve been crying all day, Patrick.  Over you.  But I know I’ll be okay.  Because you gave me the strength to handle it.

Not long after Patrick began to lose his short-term memory, I called him and he did not recognize my voice.  Marianne Corey later told him it was me who had telephoned.  Patrick called my phone and left a message, apologizing for not knowing me.  Then he said, “Thank you for remembering me, David.  That’s what I love about you.  You always remember.  You never forget.”

You are right my dear, dear friend.  I will never forget."

This tribute was added by Gaby Schneider on 18th March 2017

"Patrick Callanan, my life mentor, rock, comedian and so much more. Patrick took me under his wing when I was only 18 years old, I'm now 51.
He shared some of his most personal experiences to help me through some of the toughest parts of my life. If it wasn't for Patrick I'm not sure where I would be today. I was a wild child and he truly was the only one who excepted me for who I am.

Patrick knew right from wrong. He broke the rules when he knew they were meant to be broken. He had a spitfire in him that he was proud of when used properly. He always partook in all my odd conversations and didn't judge me but let me share some of my most private secrets to help ease the hurt.

I remember Patrick coming to visit after I moved to northern CA I felt like I  truly meant something when he did that, he was such a profound person. I remember him telling me how to stand up for myself and the fallowing week me telling him what I did to do that and watching him practically fall off his chair in laughter.

I will miss the jokes he told me a new one each time, I will miss the story of him telling a police officer to get on with it at a golf course but with much different language.

The funerals we attend together many of them, as we had a few of the same friends. He knew when we left our bodies they became vacant cocoons. The soul was long gone and free as a bird. He always helped remind me that this was part of life.

When Patrick needed full time care I was devastated  I can only image what he said to Brandon his nephew who checked him in and how Brandon must have felt.

To hold someone like Patrick was like holding in a wild animal. Patrick needed freedom and only freedom. Brandon was keeping Patrick safe and I too had to do this with my very own Mother. It felt wrong but I couldn't imagine what else to do.  

My love for you dear Patrick will never falter only make me see the good I might be able to do in this world. You are my best example of how a person should be. I can't thank you enough for helping me learn how to live.
Thank you for doing the same for so many others, you're an amazing person.

I love you with all my heart you loving spitfire of a soul. I hope you can see us now and I hope to see you in the future. We are connected forever."

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This memorial is administered by:

Brendan Callanan


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