Well we passed the 17 yr mark,  two days ago but I just couldn't write that day,  I fell apart every time I tried. :-(  I don't even have words anymore,  I have said over and over and over how much I miss you and love you,  that will never change.  So much of life has changed,  I know there is no going back but oh how I wish. :-(   I wonder ALL the time how life would be now if you were here,  I cant let it go.  :-(

Its your special day again,  my heart is so broken,  I want to spend these days with you,  I want to spend EVERY DAY with you,  we were not done. :-(   No one really really knows how much I hurt inside, I miss you ALL THE TIME.  God I'd give anything for life to be different, but I have to accept that it is what it is. I will never ever understand why it had to go this way but I have no choice but to accept it. I know one day I will be with you again and what a celebration it will be!!!  So for today,  I will just say  Happy Birthday my love,  I am sorry that I cant give you your favorite extra extra rare steak and choc cake but hopefully all the years that you did get it is enough to last. :-(    If you were here today........you'd be going to watch your grandson play two bb games, and you'd be his biggest cheerleader,  and then we would go out to dinner and shower you with love. If only that could be a reality :-(  Love you my big Chopper from your buddy Yacky,  also known lovingly as your "Hillbilly". xoxo

16 yrs you have been gone my love.............gone in the flesh but never gone in my memories and never will be. Life is so hard without you but I am doing my best to carry on as you would want.  I can take the mask off more often now than years before but at times it has to come back out and thats OKAY.  I have learned thru all of these years whatever works..........do it!  Love you forever and always.  Sleep well, live in peace,  when its time I will join you, have those big bear hugs ready.  xoxoxoxo

Happy Birthday in Heaven once again my love. I got to spend 31 birthdays with you and I treasure every one! Now we have had to spend 15 birthdays celebrating without each other. :-(  I will never understand how this happened. :-(   I miss you and love you so much.  I try TRY to be strong but some days its just not possible. :-( You arent here in the flesh but always in spirit,  our love will never die. Until we meet again, watch over us, protect us and love us as we love you. xoxo

15 years???? Really??? Its like a lifetime ago and its like it was yesterday.  I remember so many details, sometimes I feel like just yesterday I was sitting next to your bed,  holding your hand,  trying to be strong, and then there are days where it all feels like a dream and did it all ever really happen??? All it takes is one thought, one picture, one song, and I simply burst in tears, a love like we had never ends. I still think of you, talk to you, every day! I wish you could see our children, the adults they have become, on their own with their familes, so much we would have enjoyed "together".......but it wasnt meant to be.  And our GRANDSON,  oh my god the joy that boy has brought to my life,  it would be simply 100% if you were here to share in him also.  And now there is a beautiful little great granddaughter and another one on the way, you know how we always loved the lilttle ones. :-)   How all the little ones always swarmed around you like you were the pied piper.  In fact I remember Kevin saying that must be why God chose to take you, there must have been a Daycare in Heaven that was sadly in need of someone to take over and who better than you??? So I do hope you are up there dancing and teasing and playing with all the little ones. :-)  Love you yesterday, today, and forever.  xoxoxoxo

He changed our lives and family when he came into it♥ his heart was one of the biggest, and his Love was unconditional......he left a beautiful legacy of Love through Rob, Patrick, and Jenny♥ in each of you I see a piece of him♥ For you Rob he left you with his strength, and girl you have been strong!♥ In Patrick he left the "calming force", everything will be ok attitude, and in Jenny he left that beautiful playfulness♥  Forever in my heart RIP Pat♥

Happy Birthday Chopper!!!!  65th, wow, time to retire!! :-)  I know we would be smiling and celebrating and having such a great time and enjoying life together..............I try not to be sad but god I still miss you soooooooooo much,  I still long for what could have been, should have been......Love you and miss you every day,  Happy Birthday in Heaven.

Thinking of you as always babe. I hate seeing this page empty, I encouraged others, guess everyone just wants to keep their thoughts private, but I know you are NOT forgotten and I am sure some talk to you in their own way. Lovin you and missing you as always. This time 14 years ago life was such a fog,  it still is. I come, I go, I do, but someone is always missing, sometimes I just feel on auto pilot, we were supposed to finish thru this life together!! :-(   Peace to you until we meet again. ♥

Love never dies, love you forever and ever, miss you every day.

You are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when sky's are grey you'll never know dear how much I love you so please don't take my sunshine away

I have so many memories of Pat...and all of them are GREAT...when I met Pat I was only one of the "little" annoying baby sisters of his then girlfriend Robbin♥ He was the cutest boy I had ever seen, and even better he was kind , funny, and very caring...not only did Robbin fall in Love with him, but so did I( I was maybe 7-8)....he was going to "marry" me :) as soon as I turned 18...although that was only a joke , it was his way, he was more then just a brother in law to me, he was my brother, my friend, and even for a short time he and my sister took me in, I looked up to, Loved and respected him and he earned it, not just with me, but with everyone who knew him, to know him was definitely to Love him♥ He was kind and selfless , he was the best Santa ever!!!!♥ He shines still through his loving, and stronger then she thought she could be wife♥ his beautiful Children, grandchildren, that carry his memory and legacy so proud and all of his family....he has left us all nothing but Love ♥