ForeverMissed
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His Life
February 21, 2016

Well if you were here,  retirement would be a new chapter most likely,   how we talked about those  "golden years"  and what we would do..   Going thru them alone is NOT the  same.  :-(    I truly cannot wait to retire,   but  it wont be the same as if  "we" were retired together.   I try to just make the best of it but  sometimes its just so hard.    There are new challenges all the time,  my own health issues,   every day I seem to get a call about another friend/family/loved one being ill or having serious problems,   I know thats how it is supposed to be,  its called  "life"  and you just deal with it,   but dealing with it alone is scarey sometimes.  :-(      You were ALWAYS so comforting,  reassuring,  those Bear Hugs  could always make anything better,     how you'd pull me to your chest and tell me its okay,  let it out,   and I'd cry and always end up feeling so much better.  :-(     Another new chapter is we not only have our  awesome grandson,  but now this year we added a  great granddaughter  :-)   I could see you simply melting with her,    what a treasure to see our son became a grandpa,  another  "Papa Pat".  :-)   He loves her and is so sweet with her and now theres another baby on the way,  more family fun!!    I try to love them all enough for you and I both,   I try to live each day for both of us,    I am greatful that I AM still here to help them and guide them and share life with them,   but again,  something/someone is ALWAYS missing.   :-(   Remember in the early 70's,  there was a song by  Bobby Goldsboro called  "Honey"  that we liked,  well out of the blue  it came on acouple of days ago.........and I lost it,  so many memories.  :-(     The part where he sings  "Honey,  I miss you,  and I'm being goooood,  but I'd love to be with you,  if only I could".................so fitting.   I do miss you,  I'd love to be with you,  but  I still have alot to do here!    And  I am being good........I have made so many mistakes thru the years and hopefully have learned from them,    I do feel like at times you HAVE reached out to help or intervene,   they cant  all just be coincidences.   So please keep in my reach and  help when you can,   I havent totally learned to do this on my own yet.  :-(  It was always  "rob and pat".............and still is.  :-)    Love you forever and ever and ever...............

He was and always will be my best friend

January 25, 2015

As we approach  14 years without him,  its still not the same around here,  I miss him still every single day.   Life has gone on,  I have made a new life,  but part of him is always with me.    I miss his laughter,  his constant joking around,  his bear hugs,  his way of always listening to me and making me feel better no matter what the situation was,   he was such a good Dad and I see parts of him in our children,  he would be so proud of them and our grandson,  oh how he would love that boy!  He should still be here,  I will never understand how God let this happen to him,  such a good man,  everyone loved him!    I remember when I said that to him  "why YOU,  you are such a good person"..............and he said to me  "Why not me,  I am no better than anyone else"..............Ah but you were wrong,  you WERE better than many,  and they got to live and you didnt.  :-(      But so much was taken from you when the cancer surfaced,  and  I know you didnt want to live that way,  nor did I want you too,  so in that regard,  yes,  it was a blessing when the day came for God to take you to Heaven,   but over and over I have thought WHY did the cancer ever have to happen???  I know there is no point dwelling on it,  it is what it is as they say,   some days are better than others,   but its always  "there",  the missing you.  :-(