ForeverMissed
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His Life
October 30, 2011

My first memory of Paul was when he and I stood naked with our backs to the open fire in the UK just after our bath..I was 2, Paul would have been 4.

Paul was always into everything from day one..he always tried to find a way to make things work better...so he figured that putting streamers on his bike handles would be a good idea...shame he was too engrossed with the streamers to watch where he was going and managed to smash into a car...He was a bit bruised and battered, but his spirit wasn't.

We moved to Australia and time moved on. We both went to the same schools and I had to share a bedroom with him for a while...I remember him and I walking throught the gates of the school we hated and it seemed like an eternity before the day ended.

.At 15, he started an apprenticeship with Maddington Panel Beaters and subsequently bought his own car...a red Torana if I remember correctly. Paul was 'full on'..he used to go driving around chasing bunnies and I still remember him bringing back a little baby bunny at something like 3am..I started seeing someone and Paul took to my then boyfriend's sister. After a couple of years of being together, Paul and Margaret married and set up house in Maddington.

Once Paul and Margaret got together, Ron (Margaret's brother and my ex) and he became firm friends..so they spent lots of time fishing in Dawesville particularly and did the usual boy things. Paul loved fishing...

On the 26th of October 1980, Paul's first son Stephen was born. After a few years and for reasons unknown, Paul started to show signs of Anxiety Neurosis, He was finding it difficult to cope with every day life, so much so that his working life came to an end.

Paul's second son Daniel was born on May the 21st 1986. Paul had a wife and 2 children, but due to his growing problem with anxiety, he was still not able to work. Sadly, he found a kind of relief from the anxiety through alcohol. He undertook some private jobs to keep the money coming in,..but sadly that could not go on.

Paul and Margaret parted due to irreconcilable differences and he moved in with our Mum. Paul's anxiety became worse as time went on and the drinking increased. The anxiety hit such a high level where he could hardly leave the house..

I saw him often as he was living with our Mum and we spoke regulary on the phone. He once told me that he thought he had passed blood and although he was advised to get it checked, he put it down to haemorrhoids or something he had eaten. About 18 months later, he started to complain about a pain that he had in his upper left abdominal area. It would go away for a while and then come back a few days later.

Once we figured out that the pain he was experiencing might be constipation, I gave him something to get it all moving..this is when he experienced the bowel blockage....and after about 2 months living with a bowel blockage, he finally  agreed to let me take him to see a doctor. Catagory 3 Bowel cancer was diagnosed...

Paul had 2 and a half good years post diagnosis and although he was operated on to have a bag put on, then have the tumor removed and then have the bag removed, it began to grow back and caused yet another blockage..Due to the so called 'experts' they left Paul's operation to relieve the blockage until the following Tuesday, rather than do it on the Thursday previous as planned. During his wait for the op, his bowel ruptured and he succumbed to septicaemia a couple of days later.

Paul enjoyed life until he was faced with his anxiety problem, but learned to live with it and battled on regardless. He met with his greatest fear when we were both told that he had cancer and told us that it was terminal. I expected panic from him, but he seemed to take it in his stride..as he said to me once and I quote "I think I've brought this on myself"

Paul had a fear of life that I don't think many would understand, but when he was faced with his battle with cancer, and considering the huge anxiety problem he had.. he faced it all and became the bravest man that I have ever known...