my little headbanger –
In my younger years, the Ahtye household is where I hung-out. It became my home away from home. It was a 2-story house at the end of a cul-de-sac on a street called Valley High (and very long), in Thousand Oaks, CA. And in keeping with the name of the street, Paula’s older sister, Kathleen, and I would retire to her bedroom at night after Dr. and Mrs. Ahtye had gone to bed ( After all they had to be tired trying to corral 7 kids without going insane themselves). So seizing the moment, we holed up in Kathleen’s room, lit the incense and, well , … got high. That’s what you do on Valley High.
Late one night I hear this very quiet rhythmic thump…..thump……thump. I look at Kathleen and asked, “what’s that noise”? It seemed to be coming from the bedroom next to Kathleen’s. This was the bedroom that Kathleen’s two little sisters, Therese and Paula shared. Oh course about this time, I am not sure about which senses are firing properly- the real or the imaginary. Kathleen confirmed that “no Lea” you’re not hearing things. She went on to explain that the noise, the thump, I was hearing was her littlest of her little sisters, Paula, who was just rocking herself to sleep. Kathleen said that Paula rocks back and forth in her little girl bed. Three back and forth rocks and on the fourth – “thump”, her little head gently colliding with the wall every 4th beat. In that moment she became My Little Headbanger, tapping out her own miniature Morse Code” as she willed herself to sleep. This little girl, who I swear was born with her very own cherubic Buddha smile; shy and as quiet as a church mouse, was working out her life’s plan- a life that sitting here now, seems to be the stuff of legends.
As I read the many tributes from close friends and family, I recognize a few, mine included, where we seem to preface our nicknames for Paula with two words- “my little”. Maybe it’s because this little girl was so damn embraceable. We took her into our hearts and we simply will never let her go…. Never.
So what can she possibly be up to now? I can’t be absolutely sure, no one can, but I’ll wager a bet that she’s buzzing around the Great Kitchens of the Heavens, reserved only for the earth’s most humble and creative spirits who gave such nourishment to those of us here on earth. She’s rockin and rollin with The Ancients, sipping wine and breakin bread.
So My Little Headbanger, your beautiful spirit continues to give us our daily bread. Let it sustain us until the time comes when we meet again. Bake on…