It has been a month since Phillip passed away. Time is an abstraction. Phillip had been losing stamina over several months, but it was in just the last few that he was concerned about being able to mow the lawn. In the last weeks he would say I don't have enough strength or energy or I'm not getting enough air. The week before he died his beloved bicycle had just been put on Craig's List. On Saturday morning he drove to Brugger's in the morning, but when he saw the long line he came home, knowing he couldn't stand and wait for as long as he would need to. Otherwise it was a typical day and he was scheduled to see his doctor on the 11th. On Sunday it seemed to be another typical day, which always included a lot of coughing, but also reading and spending time on the computer. In late afternoon his coughing became constant and he became breathless. The ambulance arrived about 5:30 PM, he was immediately put on oxygen and left for Methodist Hospital. That night one of the emergency physicians said we'll have to keep him for a few days. I think that is when the concept of time betrayed me. I'm still at that moment, waiting for those few days to be over. Waiting for him to come home. On Monday, as his conditioned worsened and as he affirmed his DNI DNR wishes, he also continued lightly and gently to communicate, to stay with us, even as he prepared for his next journey. Peacefully and with dignity Phillip passed away about 24 hours after, he left home.
