This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Phyllis Chodor, 86 years old, born on March 3, 1930, and passed away on May 22, 2016. We will remember her forever.
Posted by Jan Schor on May 23, 2022
We all miss you , Aunt Phyllis. I miss our talks over cheap local Chinese food, and our laughs. And your good advice. Love to you
Posted by BLAIRE CHODOR on March 3, 2021
Happy Birthday Mom. We think of you a lot and miss you very much! Our friends gave us wind chimes with you name on it. Since it's been very windy here it sings all the time! xoxo
Posted by Stan & Shirley Selman on March 3, 2021
It has been almost five years since my sister Phyllis passed away and I still miss her and think about her quite frequently. I can remember the many Birthdays we spent together and laughed and had good times.
Posted by Stan & Shirley Selman on March 3, 2020
Phyllis, it's your birthday and on this day I think and remember
the times we had together. They wren great times but unfortunately there were not enough. I miss you and will always love you.
Your brother,  Stan
Posted by BLAIRE CHODOR on May 24, 2019
My mom was so happy to reconnect Stanley again, she printed pictures and had me put them into frames and arrange them on the table with the phone. I think of mom, dad and brother everyday.
Stanley very sorry about Shirley. And yes they are probably having a good time :)
Posted by Stan & Shirley Selman on May 22, 2019
In my mind it has been an eternity since my sister Phyllis passed away . Ten months after Phyllis passed my wife of almost sixty years Shirley passed away. I had the years together with Shirley but for reasons I cannot fathom now l did not communicate with Phyllis for many years. I thank Blair for getting Phyllis and I back together and I cherish the few years we did communicate. I miss them both and hope they are having a good time together.
Posted by Dee-Dee Tottrup on May 22, 2019
I think about Phyllis and Jeff often. They were a big part of my life for close to 20 years. Seems impossible when I think about how long it was. But even more disturbing is how long they've been gone.
Posted by Jan Schor on March 3, 2018
Thinking of you, Aunt Phyllis, on your birthday. Remembering so much. Love to Blaire as well, from all of us - Jan, Elaine, Gerry, David, Jon and Nat.
Posted by Rita & Gino Gianatiempo on May 22, 2017
I can't believe that a year has passed since you left us yet sometimes it seems like 30 years. I still miss you from the day you moved and miss all the wonderful talks we had. I think of you often and wish you were still next door. I am sure you are happy with your husband and Jeff and looking down on all of us. Please continue to watch over us.
Posted by BLAIRE CHODOR on May 22, 2017
I miss you so much
Posted by Marie Lubell on May 22, 2017
Dear Blaire - I recall so many outings with your Mom and am reminded every Saturday of our dinners at the Georgia, Nevada and Italian Restaurants. Also our long 2hr.or more Sunday phone calls when she moved to California. All good memories - miss her very much.
Posted by Stan & Shirley Selman on May 22, 2017
I cannot believe it is one year. It seems like yesterday when Phyllis and I spoke on the phone every week or two. We reminenisced about our childhood and our parents and other family members. Phyllis was always inquiring about, and briefly talking to my wife, Shirley, who was ill at the time and has since passed away. I miss them both and believe they are talking again.
Posted by Jan Schor on May 22, 2017
I find it hard to write these words because I don't think of you as not with us anymore. I think of you with love and laughter. All of us here across the seas send their love.
Posted by BLAIRE CHODOR on March 3, 2017
I think of you many times every day. Good voices and the nagging one too. There are many things I want to ask you like, your bedroom furniture, the cabinets, they have doors to the drawers, look nice but what a pain :) But I'm glad I have them, I miss you very much. It's still hard to believe.
Posted by Dee-Dee Tottrup on March 3, 2017
Hi Blaire --- I miss Phyllis so often...especially during the holidays. She would always call and always remembered to send birthday and Christmas cards. And after we lost Jeff she and I always talk on his birthday...laughing and crying our way thru the call. I realized today that at the end of this year it will 20 years (how is that possible) since Jeff and I went over to Big Six for Hanukkah dinner and I met her for the first time. She was a pip that's for sure...a tough cookie but kind and gentle at the same time.
Posted by Marie Lubell on March 3, 2017
Miss you very much Phyllis - our dinner dates and outings with shared laughter and gossip. Rest in Peace
Posted by Rita & Gino Gianatiempo on March 3, 2017
Happy Birthday Phyllis
I know you are having a wonderful day with your husband and Jeff. I miss you as much now as when you left for California. I always am thinking of different things we did or our long talks. We had a great friendship. Have a great day and continue to watch over us. I love you and miss you. Rita
Posted by Joan Abatemarco on June 15, 2016
I would like to send my sincerest condolences to Blaire and Linda on the loss of your beautiful mom Phyllis. I am from NY and we had many conversations about our beloved New York. I miss your mom and her funny dry sense of humor and her quick wit. She was a most lovely lady and is truly missed. not only by me but also by our mutual friends at Valley Oak's Village. I'm glad that I got to know Phyllis for just a short time, but it was quality time. RIP dear friend.
Posted by Jan Schor on June 4, 2016
My wonderful Aunt Phyllis. As close to me as any biological aunt could ever be. My first memories include you, my mother Elaine's best friend. I'll be adding stories and memories shortly. Words just seem so inadequate.
Posted by Linda Wissmath on June 3, 2016
In November of 1963 my mother in law moved into a large three bedroom 11th floor apartment with sweeping views of Queens. She lived there for 50 years, almost to the day. Her and her husband raised two children, worked, loved and cried in that home. They made many friends, visited the "city" (often) and were true New Yorkers. We were very grateful when she finally decided to move to California 2 1/2 years ago to be close to us.We also knew what a hard decision it was to leave her friends and life behind. It's odd that sometimes we never think of taking pictures of us with our neighbors and the people we often see on a daily basis. We also thought as Rita did, why isn't there a photo of her and Rita, one of her closest friends? After moving to California she would often talk about the emails and phone calls from friends and family that she had on weekly basis. She stayed in touch with her childhood friend and so many other good friends she made throughout life. She also made many new friends at her new home at Valley Oaks. She loved "game night" on Saturdays not only for "Mexican Train", she mostly loved the conversations and staying out late to share stories from times gone by. If you knew Phyllis you also knew she loved old movies (and BBC Masterpiece Theatre). She loved to read Victorian mystery novels and watch the History channel. She loved Opera and especially Pavarotti! She often listened to classical music. Her favorite flowers were carnations. She was smart, well informed and disappointed she wasn't going to see the next presidential election. This last year she seemed truly happy (although she didn't always share that). I know this was due to all the friends and family that continued to touch her life. Thank you all for your love and friendship. Please feel free to leave a picture of Rita and Phyllis if you have one! I have some stories that are fun and I'll try to leave them here on the "Story" page over time. Rest in peace, you are missed.

“When we have passed the tests we are sent to Earth to learn, we are allowed to graduate. We are allowed to shed our body, which imprisons our souls.”
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Posted by Stan & Shirley Selman on May 29, 2016
Hi, My name is Stan Selman and Phyllis Chodor was my sister. She was two years older than I, and since I was the baby of the family she referred to me as her spoiled brat kid brother. Looking back there was a lot of truth in that but she almost never got angry or mad at me. There was one time however when she did, it was when she had Scarlett Fever and the family was quarantined to the apartment and Phyllis was quarantined to her room.Neighbors, friends and relatives would drop off food and toys for Phyllis at out apartment door. Our parents would not let Phyllis have the toys because they would have to be destroyed when she recovered. I helped myself to the toys and put a lot of mileage on them by the time Phyllis recovered. Phyllis did become quite angry with me when she saw the toys given to her had been used extensively by me. As she always did, however, she got over it quickly because, I think, she really loved her kid brother.
As we got older we drifted apart, Phyllis stayed in touch with the maternal side of the family while I stayed in touch with the paternal side. Thanks to Blaire and Facebook after many years apart we reconnected about three or four years ago. Initially after reconnecting we talked mostly about relatives and what happened to them. After we caught up on that we talked mostly about the present. Phyllis always asked, and wanted to talk about my family, especially my grandchildren. She asked for, and enjoyed the pictures I sent her. She always inquired about the health of my wife Shirley and they did talk occasionally.
Shirley and I both miss her very much and are relieved that her passing was quick and she did not suffer. I think that she is with her Mom and Dad and Son watching a good baseball game and enjoying it.
Posted by Marie Lubell on May 29, 2016
Dear Blaire
Today was a very sad day for me as Phyllis and I usually phoned each other on Sundays at 1:30 and we would have a 2-4 hour chat on happenings in our lives.
Your Memorial website was beautiful and it made we wish that Phyllis and I had connected sooner in life.
After both of us had retired from PS11 we happened to meet in the neighborhood and exchanged phone numbers.
We had many good times together - going into Manhattan, shopping, seeing films and dining out. Later on I accompanied her to all her doctor and hospital visits when she was receiving treatments and I admired how stoic she was after each - a real trooper.
We became very good friends and I was very sad to see her move to CA but tried to convince had that this was for the best - as her family was there.
I truly miss Phyllis but consider myself lucky to have had such a wonderful friend.
May she rest in peace.
Marie Lubell
Posted by Rita & Gino Gianatiempo on May 28, 2016
The photos are all beautiful memories. I wish I had one of her and I together but I don't remember taking pictures when we were together. Your Mom was a beautiful woman both on the inside and out. Many people thought she was unfriendly because she was stern looking, but being a good friend of hers I know she was so warm. She had a very rough life and handled all of her problems with strength. I probably know her whole life history. We had many, many talks. She always said I was like her second daughter.
I got very close to her when she had her hip surgery and spent the time in the hospital and Rehab with her. When she got home I did her shopping and wash and she was always so pleased. When she could not bend, she would call me to come pick something off her floor, but she did not want to wait long for me to get in there.
After that unfortunately, we had come home from a Christmas Party at the Rehab that I took her too and had to give her the sad news that her son, Jeff had passed. She was devastated and never wanted me to leave her that night. We talked for hours. Her strength was overwhelming. She stayed strong but her heart always ached. 
The day she came and told me she was moving, we both cried for such a long time. She didn't want to go. She asked me to help her pack. I started on that and never thought I would get finished. I also had an apartment sale for her, which she enjoyed all the people coming in (half of them to be just nosey). We had a lot of laughs that night over the sale.
Gino would be called to fix little things and for computer problems. When that happened, he would say I better go right in because she doesn't like to wait. She thought he was such a gentleman. 
The morning she was leaving, she came and sat in my house for a few hours and we both cried again. It was so sad for both of us.
When she got to California, we e-mailed and called and loved talking for a very long time on the phone. She loved to hear all about my family.
She never met my grandson but always wanted pictures. 
We both missed one another and would always end our communications that we missed and loved one another. 
She would always tell me that you can take the girl out of NY but you can't take NY out of the girl. 
I will miss her and think of her often but I am so happy that she passed peacefully. She is now with her husband and son and I am sure she is happy. RIP Phyllis and I will always miss you and love you and cherish the friendship that we had.

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Recent Tributes
Posted by Jan Schor on May 23, 2022
We all miss you , Aunt Phyllis. I miss our talks over cheap local Chinese food, and our laughs. And your good advice. Love to you
Posted by BLAIRE CHODOR on March 3, 2021
Happy Birthday Mom. We think of you a lot and miss you very much! Our friends gave us wind chimes with you name on it. Since it's been very windy here it sings all the time! xoxo
Posted by Stan & Shirley Selman on March 3, 2021
It has been almost five years since my sister Phyllis passed away and I still miss her and think about her quite frequently. I can remember the many Birthdays we spent together and laughed and had good times.
Recent stories

Little milk pitcher

Shared by Dee-Dee Tottrup on May 22, 2020
When I visited Phyllis in CA, I think it was the year before she passed, we all went to this  little antique shop somewhere.  I bought a little pitcher that was similar  one I already had.  I used that little pitcher almost every morning for milk in my coffee,  but I broke it a couple of months ago.  I started crying because I remembered when I got it with Phyllis.  Miss you and Jeff so often.