For as long as I can remember, Mom baked cookies at Christmas to share with family and friends. I just came across these photos that mom took back in 1993. Cookies filled the dining room, and half of the living room and the den! The trillium flower became her trademark and she developed a cookie with a trillium frosting design. You can see those at the far left of the original photo. If you were a lucky recipient, you will remember that there were more than a dozen different types of cookies in every package.

Mom and her family were living in a millhouse over the Norwalk River in Cannondale, Connecticut, when the hurricane of 1938 hit that September. It was a memorable event: a terrifying night, a flooded basement, and debris flowing down river. We have family photos of the river at its wildest and this photo in it's aftermath. A family favorite, it is displayed in many of our homes today. Thanks go to Darin Donahue for improving the image quality. 

Here's a newsreel, not great quality, but in-depth with sound, 10 minutes, made soon after the disaster hit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lf57wDLWZUE .

The later 1930s were an idyllic time filled with many happy memories for Phyllis and her siblings, Maude and George, Jr. Around 1936 (the 1940 census said they were in CT in 1935), they moved from White Plains NY to Cannondale CT where the family rented a converted mill house from a neighbor, Mr. Gregory; it is still standing today. Here, Maude, George and Phyllis, with her long brown braids, sit on the porch that overlooks the river. On this lazy summer day, I’d like to be sitting right there with them!

From Phyllis' niece, Viki,
"This picture is of the cement bunny your Mom gave me at the baby shower when I was pregnant with Amy. She included ribbons for each season/holiday and some alyssum with it. One of the most memorable gifts I received. Twenty six years later I still have that bunny. I found the two nesting baby bunnies at the Highland Festival craft show several years ago and thought it would be a nice addition." 

"I have been thinking about many things that Phyllis and I did together. I tried to take dinners to her a couple of times a week. She always insisted that I sit down for a while. Invariably, she talked about both of her daughters and her grandchildren. I remember how excited she was when she showed me the 'Paris Scrapbook.' She revisited the entire trip.

This year I completed my 25th year as a docent. Phyllis was my mentor. I still think of her when I pass by certain paintings that we looked at together. She would tell me everything that she knew about the artist and then she would point out every minute detail of the painting.

Phyllis was passionate – about cooking, about art, about flowers, about music and probably more things that I am not aware of. Knowing Phyllis, for myself and my husband, Jerry, was a privilege for which both of us are thankful."

"I only met Phyllis twice that I can recall, but enjoyed her both times.  The first time she came to the house with your father for a brief visit.  My girls were in grade school at the time, so it must have been about 1990.  She brought dried Montmorency cherries, which I had never had until that point, and a Cranbrook cookbook.  Now we have a tree in our yard, and dry our own cherries!  The second visit was with you and Sylvana, and I remember us all going through Armstrong Redwoods Park.  She was a lovely lady, and I can tell from your letter that she was quite accomplished as well.  Every time I look at the cookbook in my kitchen, I will think of her."

Some of Phyllis’ tributes mention wildflower rescues. What was that, you might ask. I can only give you a general idea because this was a cause that my mom took up after I moved away from home. Here’s how I described it to my friends,

“Mom lies down in front of a bulldozer and begs for a few hours to rescue wildflowers, particularly rare species. She and her friends would dig them up before the area was cleared for something like a housing development or a freeway.”

I think that the wildflowers were sold at Cranbrook plant sales. Mom was part of a group of friends that would put the word out about a particular site and then they would jump in their cars and get out to the area before it was too late. I found this photo among Mom’s things and I thought that it told the story pretty well. Does anyone know who is in the photo with Mom? Maybe a date, too?

Here’s a wild story she once told me, perhaps slightly embellished as she was known to do. Phyllis was out in the countryside where a freeway was being built. She and her friends had received permission from a farmer to cross his land to rescue plants. Seemingly in the middle of nowhere, there were BAGELS on the ground. What was that all about? When she returned to thank the farmer, she asked about the bagels. “Oh, those are for my pigs,” he replied.

Sorry, this isn’t a photo of Phyllis’ birthday in May 1935. Phyllis, just shy of her 5th birthday and her sister Maude, 3 ½, were invited to the birthday of a girl down the street. A REALLY FANCY BIRTHDAY PARTY! In the heart of the Depression, there was a professional photographer, hats and decorations. I’m not sure if that’s a cake in the middle of the table or what. If you look behind the cake, that’s Phyllis on the left and Maude to the right.

Well, it’s the only birthday photo that I could think of the celebrate Phyllis’ own birthday. When I was growing up, Mom’s birthday was fairly low key with dinner at home followed by cards and gifts. In our teenage years, I remember Laura and I were madly poring over ‘Joy of Cooking’ trying to decide on a cake to bake. We were so indecisive, we were finally left with no choice; we had to make the “Half-hour Cake” (mmmm, chocolate). Mom had been out on an errand and it came out of the oven just as she was coming up the driveway.

“How old are you?” we’d ask. Her daughters had probably already done the math. She was born in 1930, so calculating her age was a breeze. 1972? She was 42. But that wasn’t her answer. “I’m entering my 43rd year,” she’d reply. “No, you’re 42, why would you want to say that you’re older?” “Then I’m prepared for the next birthday and not taken by surprise.”

Today, Phyllis would have turned 82. “I’m entering my 83rd year,” we would have heard. Happy Birthday!

This mini-reunion photo of the McLean family was taken in June 2004 at Tiramisu Restaurant in Farmington Hills MI. 

The first thing you'll notice is the fact that everyone is wearing Phyllis' button, the one that says 'vita brevis, familia aeterna'. Despite Phyllis' blindness and her early stages of memory loss, she still kept in close contact with family members.

Front row: Janice (McLean) Swerske, Phyllis McLean, Madelyne McLean, Julie (McLean) Work, Justin Work and Paul Work.
Back row: Don McLean, Cullen McLean, Aaron Work and Collin Work. 

Madelyne died in 2010 at age 99. Madeline and Julie (Tom McLean's aunt and cousin) are in Phyllis' wedding photo where she and husband Tom are cutting the cake.

Janice was Tom McLean's youngest sister and Don McLean was Tom's cousin. 

"Mom, how did you and Dad meet?" It was a common question that we asked as children. There was only a brief answer, they'd met on a hay ride while at Wayne State University in Detroit. In Mom's later years she struggled with memory loss, but that day was still fresh in her mind. "Did you kiss him?" "No, I didn't want him to think I was a 'fast' girl," she replied.

This plastic key fob was always among our toys. Laura and I loved to look at the rose encased in plastic. I don’t think I gave the notation any thought; It just didn’t make any sense to me. But now that I have the Wayne State University formal dance photo, the one with Mom wearing bangs not seen later in her 1951-52 photos, and knowing that my dad was a junior at WSU in 1950 ('51 B.S. Business Administration), it makes sense that this would be a souvenir of that special occasion. They married on 21 February 1953. Mom always said, "We dated 3 years, were married 3 years and then had two children 3 years apart." 

Mom must have joined St. James Episcopal Church in Birmingham around 1960; her daughters were both baptized there in 1961. During the school year we attended the 11am church service and Sunday school.

Early on, Mom began teaching Sunday school. I have just a few photos. In 1963 it seems that she was involved in both the pre-school and the third grade classes. Laura was in pre-school so that would explain her involvement with very young children, but her love was for teaching upper elementary grades. In the  1960s there was an annual tradition for the 3rd grade to put on a nativity pageant just before Christmas. Since Mom’s background was art education, this was right up her alley. We have some blurry B/W photos of the 1963 pageant, with elaborate costumes and props, but even those bring back memories. At other times of the year, Mom had her felt board and our home made puppet stage for acting out the Bible stories in her lesson plans.

Another group of photos documented Vacation Church School (“VCS”) in August 1969. Mom taught the combined class of 5th and 6th graders (most of whom were boys). That summer Mom put everything she had into entertaining her restless class. Lessons were supplemented with solar photography, terrarium building, walks to the concrete step waterfall at Quarton Lake and general goofing around. This photo was taken on the small lawn outside the class room that faces Chester St., near Martin St. Who are the girls beside her?

I’m not sure how long Mom kept up her Sunday school teaching, but it continued well into the 1970s after I'd left for college.

By 1965, when this photo was taken, Phyllis had been living in her lovely home for 6 years. Early photos of the property in 1959-60 would surprise you; they ever surprise me. There was just a brick ranch house, no carport, a straight driveway, no gardens, few trees (none at all along the train embankment) and a sad brick patio that began a few feet away from the back of the house. The land was so poorly graded that the house flooded that first winter! As a result, my parents had the entire property graded to ensure proper drainage, the brick patios re-done and a carport built.

Another unfortunate characteristic of the property was more enduring, clay soil. Mom spent years amending her gardens. She even hauled home, in the trunk of her car, several loads of the wonderful peat that was dredged up from the Duck Pond (aka Dinosaur Pond) at Brookdale and Charing Cross in the 1960s. With her gardens, she began ambitiously enough with a huge vegetable garden in the ‘way back’, a fairly formal flower garden, pictured here, in a higher spot that made a nice view from the living room picture window and a wild flower garden in the fairly wet area near the road.

 The vegetable garden only lasted a few years. It was a miniature truck garden with nearly every vegetable a young child could imagine: carrots, radishes, green beans, beets, peas, potatoes, strawberries and corn; raspberries were planted along the fence by the train embankment. We learned to love vegetables, but that area was returned to lawn when it got to be too much work. The flower garden was kept up, edging, weeding, transplanting and producing some show stopping blooms. The wildflower garden was more subtle but held a deeper interest. Trillium and Jack-in-the-Pulpit (“Jacks”) were her favorites. In later years, she joined the Rock Garden Society and developed a small alpine garden along the NE side of the house.

 All but a few of the trees on the property were planted by our family. I remember digging the holes in 1966 for the seedlings that have become the massive pines that hide the embankment today. The open fields that were home to pheasant families, rabbits, foxes and squirrels have now become wooded and hideouts for the coyote and massive deer that we see today. Those deer have found some very tasty snacks in my mother’s wonderful gardens!

Phyllis could always be counted on to bring shrimp cocktail to family gatherings. Our extended families, alternating between the McLeans and the Heines, usually got together for major holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and the 4th of July. It was during the colder months when shrimp cocktail was most often served.

Phyllis planned ahead by purchasing a large 5 lb. frozen block of raw unpeeled jumbo shrimp. Her daughters would straggle out of bed on a holiday morning to be greeted by, “I need someone to help me in the kitchen.” When we were young, Laura and I were the peelers and Mom was the deveiner, later we did both steps. Tails were split and removed so that the most meat was saved. The complaints came in two categories, “I’m doing more than she is!” and “Ouch, this job hurts my fingers!” Still, we finished the job and then left the kitchen as fast as we could, before another one came up. Mom boiled the shrimp with a wedge of lemon and she usually got excited as they curled up and turned opaque and pink. Don’t cook too long! She drained and cooled them quickly.

So what to do with this mound of cooked shrimp? In the winter, they were kept cold for a few hours until party time in a stainless steel mixing bowl on the front porch, sitting on the milk box (the box where the milkman left his deliveries; it’s still there!). As for the cocktail sauce, it was something with Heinz 57 on the label and she added a little spoonful of horseradish sauce to it. We always had a bottle of horseradish sauce in the ‘fridge because, as I recall, that’s what her brother, Uncle George, smeared on foods that he didn’t like; then he’d eat it.

Early on, the younger generation wrinkled their noses at shrimp cocktail, while the adults noticeably perked up when the platter came out. Later, everyone wanted some, so we had to hold some back for a second round while a hungry mass descended on these delicious hors d'oeuvres. This isn’t a family photo, but it comes closest to how I remember it.

Photo: Bruce Barone, from the internet

Whenever Laura and I asked our parents about their honeymoon, they just chuckled. No details, just a look passed between them. I came across four post cards among the paltry number of wedding momentos: several unsent wedding announcements, 3 snapshots, and a newspaper announcement. All four postcards were of Caseville, MI, located at the tip of the 'thumb' of Michigan. A small town today, it was probably small in 1953. I just love the compact kitchen in the corner. If they went in late February, they probably had the whole town to themselves. Does anyone have details?

Well, the date is a bit debatable, but most of the cousins think 1948 is about right. 
Back row: Bob Clary, Maude Heine, Phyllis Heine, Dick Clary
Middle row: Carol Clary (right?), Susan and Cynthia Clary (which is which?), Babbie Clary
Front: Cookie Clary
Sorry, Jane, you were still a glimmer in your parents' eyes! George, were you at summer camp?

The story goes, Grandfather (Justin Clary) worried that his granddaughters, Phyllis and Maude, were out in Fox Lake, Illinois, far from any sort of 'culture', so he invited them back to White Plains for some cultural expeditions to the Big Apple. It was also a time to reconnect with the cousins. 

Phyllis' two loves were art and nature. When not in a museum, she was usually in a garden or woods. Phyllis' sister-in-law, Marj McLean Szor, has a cottage on Copeland Pond in the Adirondacks near Ft. Anne, NY. We made several trips there to bask in this quiet, peaceful piece of paradise, including this visit in 2005.

On Mother's Day 2003, I phoned my mom and asked her if she'd like to go to Paris with Sylvana and me. She said, "What?" After I asked her a second time (she probably couldn't quite believe what I was asking) she replied very quickly, "Yes!" She had visited once before on a DIA Docent trip and she was eager for a second trip. The hotel was across from the Tuilleries a block from the Louvre. We fit in as much as we could on our week-long trip, including ascending to the top of the Eiffle Tower. Everone had a great time.

In 2002, Phyllis continued her travels to reconnect with her cousins. This time, she traveled up the West coast from Los Angeles to Vancouver Island. Along the way, she visited Bob and Adrienne Clary, Dick Clary, Jane Clary Cochrane and Anne Louise Heine McGonigal. There are more photos in the photo gallery.

In her later years, Phyllis was eager to reconnect with her cousins. In the 1930s, they had lived fairly close to each other in and near New York City, spending many weekends together, especially with grandparents. In 2001, Phyllis visited several cousins in the northeastern United States including Babbie Clary Horner, Carol Clary Haeberli and Susan Clary Delahunt. There are more photos in the photo gallery.

On Phyllis' mother's side, the Clary ancestors settled in Maine dating back to the early 18th century. This monument was erected by Phyllis' great grandfather, Charles Henry Clary. Phyllis' grandparents, Justin and Mabel Clary, are buried here, too.

Uncle Jimmy was Phyllis' dad's youngest brother. He lived to the great age of 100 (18 March 1911 to 22  February 2012). Here, Phyllis visits him when he was 90 years old, still living in his home in White Plains NY. He was a great story teller with a prodigious memory. We recorded an interview with him during our stay.

From Colin on 25 April 2012:
"I can remember such fun times going to your house as a kid. I loved your vegetable garden and I remember learning so much and wanting to create one at home. Phyllis was always so patient to explain things. I always had a million questions and she was willing and excited to share her knowledge.

I can remember my dad teasing her and she would just give it right back to him.  I guess I always took for granted her service to the community. When I look back on it now  I see that she really devoted her whole life to others. What a generous and selfless way to live!

I do remember her cookies! I remember that she always made something fantastic at Thanksgiving.

Sometime in the late eighties, I was visiting Michigan with a friend of mine and I decided to just drop by and see Phyllis unannounced. She welcomed us and insisted we stay for dinner. She made a wonderful meal. (I had not had good cooking in a long time!) She was such a gracious host."

     As a youngster of about 9 or 10 I remember Phyllis the most at my Aunt Nena and Uncle Art's home in Southfield, MI during the summer months.  The McLean clan would often have get-togethers in their backyard around the big inground swimming pool.  I was always a bit in awe of Phyllis, who was a striking, tanned, athletic woman.  She seemed to me a bit like Jackie Kennedy who also was from New York and loved the arts!
     My next memory of Phyllis was when my cousin Janice was in town in 2004 and she called to ask if any of the McLeans could get together.  We assembled at a restaurant in Farmington Hills, MI and it was a night I will always remember.  I have a photo and will see if I can scan it and send it along.   Janice's husband, Steve, took the photo of Phyllis, Jan, Madelyne McLean (my mother), Don McLean, Cullen McLean (son of Don), myself, my husband Paul, Collin Work, Aaron Work, and Justin Work (my 3 sons).  We are all wearing the pins that Phyllis gave us saying "Vita Brevis - Familia Eterna".
     Oh, and the photo above of Phyllis and Tom's wedding, cutting the cake.....the woman in the polka dot dress is my mother, Madelyne McLean and the little girl is ME (I was 5 at the time)!
     Much love and sympathy to your family......your mother was a great, and very accomplished woman.............Love, Julie (McLean) Work
 

This photo was framed and placed in Phyllis' room after she moved to assisted living in La Crescenta CA in July 2007. We added little labels with our names so that she could remember who we were. Later, we used the photo to explain her family to her caregivers. Left to right: granddaughter, Sylvana; daughter, Catherine; Phyllis; daughter, Laura; grandson, Scott and, in front, Laura's dog, Scout.

I believe that we have only three wedding pictures; all are informal shots like this one. That's Phyllis' brother, George Jr., standing against the wall in the background. Who is the woman in polka dots? Who is the child?

Above, Julie (McLean) Work (Tom McLean's first cousin) wrote, " ...the photo above of Phyllis and Tom's wedding, cutting the cake.....the woman in the polka dot dress is my mother, Madelyne McLean and the little girl is ME (I was 5 at the time)!" 

As far as I know, there might be only one original print of this photo and I can't find it at the moment. Laura and I grew up seeing quite a bit of this photo, but you'd be surprised how we saw it. My parents set the matted and framed photo on a sofa and photographed it from several angles! Then they made many copies. I always thought of this as a snapshot of a photo. To see it up close, I've cropped it for you.

Phyllis' creative spirit was always at work; she listened to her own drummer. I believe that Phyllis made these penguins for a winter scene in a couryard at her church, St. James. Because snow was not always predictable, her vignette was  prepared with a mountain of polyester batting (which she saved....). Here, though, in her backyard, the snow is real. What a gang!

Phyllis was photographed in April 2003 with her cat, Missie. After Phyllis moved to California in 2007 to be near her daughters, her wonderful next door neighbors, Chip and Jamie, agreed to look after her cat, Missie. Missie checks the cat flap daily and when family come to stay, she usually stops by the house within an hour or so to check out every nook and cranny!

From Jamie on 12 April 2012:
"I definitely had a moment of tears & hugged Missie.  She seemed to understand and went directly next store to check out the house.  Missie will continue to check for Phyllis everyday I'm sure." 

Family reunions on the Clary-Heine side of the family usually take place the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Years ago, when  Phyllis, Maude and George had young families, we got together on Thanksgiving.

In 2001, the reunion took place in La Crescenta CA and Phyllis made up buttons for everyone that said, "Vita Brevis Familia Aeterna" Roughly translated, that means, "Life is short, family is forever."

Pat Johnson remembers Phyllis:

" I volunteered with her at Cranbrook Gardens and was always impressed with her knowledge of so many things and with the articulate way she expressed herself.  I worked mainly in the wildflower area.  She would often bring us something special for our gardens.  I have many pleasant memories."

Karen Jallos kindly agreed to share this e-mail that she sent to Catherine McLean:

"I was a new docent in 1997 at the DIA.  My good fortune was to be assigned to shadow is it, your Mum?  Phyllis had a very large group of older high school kids on her tour.  She absolutely captivated them.  She even threw her arms around one of them at one point and I remember thinking how right and beautiful that was.  She was so excited for them.  She has been my model of a great docent ever since.  She radiated beauty of every kind and was very very encouraging to me."

Originally I had thought this photo was from 1948 when Phyllis was a freshman at Wayne State but Phyllis' granddaughter Sylvana, who can find a needle in a haystack, found Phyllis' 1948 highschool year book last night. The town of Fox Lake is in northern Illinois, near the Wisconsin border. Famous, or might I say infamous, for being Al Capone's hangout and sporting a large number of bars. Yes, many lakes and places to swim and boat, but not the best place to raise children to be upstanding citizens. Feralyn couldn't wait to move her children elsewhere! In 1948, Fox Lake Community High School's yearbook was called 'The Trumpeter'. Lo and behold, there is Phyllis with a very different haircut; she has bangs! 

Many of you know that Phyllis loved to go swimming. This seems to have begun very early in life. Here, Phyllis is just slightly over a year old, she's learning to walk, and here she is at Rye Beach (New York) with her dad, George Heine, Sr. She looks so happy!

Many of you know that Phyllis loved to swim. In looking back over photos of her early life, it is clear that the entire family was drawn to water.

The gallery contains several photos from 1948. That year the family moved twice. Early in the year, they lived in Fox Lake, IL; Phyllis was about to graduate from Fox Lake Community High School. Phyllis' dad was commuting for a few months from Fox Lake to Detroit for a job he found there in advertising. When he decided to move the family to Detroit, he took his time finding a place for them to live. In the meantime, they spent the summer on Lake Erie in Kingston, Ontario and took lots of pictures. They even took their huge newfoundland dog, Big Boy  (later called Big Boy I). 

Phyllis possessed a talent that was hard to describe and even more difficult to replicate. She had a creative eye and always two steps ahead of the rest of us. She was involved on a day to day basis with Cranbrook Gardens from the ground up so to speak. She was a trendsetter as nothing EVER went to waste. One time we visited the Michigan State trial gardens and she took a plastic bag out of her purse and was collecting the spent blooms for her special potpourri. Another time she asked us all to save the long strands of paper on the ribbon roll so that she could write her granddaughter a letter.Phyllis challenged us, and made us better for it. We will certainly miss her and will always appreciate her tremendous contributions to the Cranbrook House and Gardens Auxiliary

A favorite portrait of mine. This photo was taken, I believe, at Somerset Mall, on her birthday by her brother George. It was taken just 2 months before her heart attack. She survived, but was left legally blind (but that didn't slow her down too much). 

I'm told, this was a full page newspaper photograph! Macys or Gimbels? Pittsburgh or New York? I have an original somewhere, just can't find it. Photo location? Younger sister Maude thinks it was taken at their grandmother's home in White Plains, second floor bedroom with a fireplace. Mom was 2 1/2. Aren't they adorable? 

On the 'about' tab, there's a space for a quotation. It can be difficult to just conjure up the sayings that Mom had, so we may change it from time to time.

Here are some from my sister Laura:

Quote from mum?.....  "always take the high road"  "heavens to Betsy!"  "let's take the scenic route"  "don't tell your father!"

Yes, I agree!