ForeverMissed
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Share a special moment from Lai Kow's life.

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January 4, 2021
by KC Tam
My wife and I got to know Professor L K Chan through Fung Yee decades ago. Right from the beginning, we were impressed by Professor Chan’s scholarly, knowledgeable, gentle and sincere personality. As the years went by, we became good friends.  Over the years, we had the good fortune of visiting and getting together in Hong Kong, Macau, Winnipeg and LA.  We even had opportunities of meeting his son, daughter and even grand children. He was the most loving father and grandpa we have ever known.
Words cannot express our sorrow in having to say good-bye to such a dear  friend, loving memories of whom will be with us forever.

親家

December 28, 2020
我很榮幸能夠和乃九先生結為親家.
他學問淵博,平易近人,通曉多種語言,非常健談。每次我們見面或在電話上,總有聊不完的話,從我們雙方的專業知識到兒孫們的生活和教育,什麼都談,每次談完還覺得意猶未竟。
我的女兒名儀很有福氣,她嫁了個好丈夫陳鐡,乃九的兒子,生了一對優秀的子女。
更大的福氣是她有一位好公公-爺爺。爺爺非常疼愛他的兒孫們,經常教導他們如何讀書和一些做人處事的道理。使得他們在成長中,每一位都很有出息。
今天在此和乃九親家告別,我要獻上深深的敬意和難捨之情。爺爺一路好走,我們永遠懷念你給我們的愛。

My Gong Gong

December 28, 2020
Throughout my life, I've always looked up to my grandfather. Gong Gong was so kind-hearted, generous, and honest. He cared so much for others, and he made everyone around him happy. 

One of the reasons why my Gong Gong made me so happy was his optimistic attitude. Gong Gong had a way of making people feel better. Whenever I expressed to him that I was sad, he would ask, "Why be sad, my lucky ducky? You are so lucky." That always uplifted my mood. He also always made sure that I was confident, and whenever I was feeling down about myself, he would remind me of all of my good qualities. My mom always referred to him as a diplomat; he made everyone feel good, and that's one of the reasons why everyone loved spending time with him. No wonder why I was always so excited to visit him, and for him to visit Los Angeles. Some of my favorite memories were when I was greeted at the airport by my Gong Gong with a big smile and open arms. 

Whenever we visited Hong Kong or Canada, I remember that he would always be so prepared. When we entered his apartment as kids, we'd notice that he had made everything child-proof. He would wrap the corners of tables with tape, and just in case something happened, he would prepare a large first aid kit full of medicine, hand sanitizer, cough drops, and everything else you could think of. He also always carried around a bag with many pouches and zippers, which had almost everything anyone could possibly need. One day, when I expressed that I liked his white bag with green straps, he asked me if I had a favorite tote. I gave it to him, and a few months later, he gave it back to me. This time, though, it was complete with zippers and pouches just like his. For a few years after that, I strove to be just like my Gong Gong. When I left the house, I would carry my zipped-up bag full of first aid items, tissues, and candy, a comb, and a camera. 

Gong Gong always loved capturing memories through photographs. Before eating meals, he would pull out his iPhone and take photos and videos of the feast in front of us. He would always make sure he looked good for the camera, too. Before we took family photos, he'd pull his comb out of his bag and brush his hair. He was a presentable guy; he always made sure he looked nice. I loved going to department stores with him and searching for good deals on clothing. 

Finally, Gong Gong taught me how to eat well. He had a huge appetite. When he came to California, we would always stock up on french baguettes, salami, and an assortment of cheeses. For breakfast, I always made Gong Gong what he called "Emily lattes." And even though these lattes weren't the best, he would take sips of them and exclaim, "Better than Starbucks!" just to make me feel better.  For dinner, we would eat steak and seafood, and for dessert , apple pie and ice cream. It was so funny because he always would say, "I'm so full!" and keep on eating more. 

Gong Gong always reminded me to remember three things: stay warm, eat well, and relax. I know I'll always remember these words. Gong Gong was so loving and caring, and he will be missed greatly. I love you, Gong Gong.

A Great Mentor

December 28, 2020
This is a picture taken by Mrs. Chan in 1999 when I first met Prof. Chan. He went to Dongbei University of Finance and Economics (Dalian, China) for a joint research project with my then MPhil dissertation supervisor, Prof. Qingshi Wang. As Prof Wang was visiting the US at the time of Prof.Chan's visit, I stepped in to report to him about the project. We had a brief meeting for about 20 minutes. That was the start of a 20-year journey with the best mentor of my life. 

Prof. Chan gave me this picture in August 2006, when both of us were preparing our departure from CityU: he was retiring and I was moving to the UK for a new job in that same month. He found this picture at the bottom of his filing cabinet while packing, and brought it to my office. "Can you see how much you have changed since then?" he said to me when handing that picture to me. "Yes, I am transformed, and you made that possible single-handedly." I replied with a big smile. 

We went on with our lives since then, but remained in touch as much as possible. I last spoke with Prof Chan in this June, when I told him about my promotion. He was so proud. He should be - I could not have made this far without his advice and support. I am so fortunate to have such a great mentor in my life. I miss you very much, Prof. Chan! 

Our Family

December 28, 2020
I met Dad more than 33 years ago shortly after I started dating Bertha.  I was a sophomore in college and could tell by the way Bertha adored him that I better make a good impression if I wanted any chance for our relationship to continue.  I was nervous, but to my delight, he was very down-to-earth and really put me at ease.  In fact, he said things like he used to be much tougher on students, but as he saw his kids grow up, he became more sympathetic to their challenges and emphasized teaching more than grades.  He encouraged me to focus on learning.  Wow...I really wished that I had more professors like him! 
As others have mentioned, he loved his family and he loved to travel, and Bertha shares these traits.  While I generally don’t share the travel bug, I’ve been lucky to have traveled the world with the Chan family and to see what I’ve been missing.  For the most part, he took the lead in organizing our trips.  In each of our trips, he found amazing things to do off the beaten path — cooking in nature our freshly caught fish from the Lake of the Woods, driving into a Hutterite community and asking for a tour, going to a hot springs/massage in China, finding a traditional meal in Kyoto, getting a tour of Cambridge via paddle boat, etc.  Of course, he is an educator at heart and wanted us to learn history, appreciate different cultures and foods, and ultimately have fun and become more open minded in the process.
We will miss Dad and his supportive ways and sense of adventure.  He knew how to bring the family together and keep us close.  Our family will not be the same without him, but his spirit, sense of adventure, and life lessons will continue to live within us. 
December 27, 2020
Gong gong was the person who always taught me to love the good things in life. When I was younger, he would always spend hours with me at the local video game store because he always knew what I loved. In return, I would always try my best to cook his favorite foods. I always remember going grocery shopping a few days before he would come to our house. We would always get pecan and apple pie, crackers, cheese, and salami, never forgetting the Diet Coke. 

Even during the hard and stressful times in my life, he would always be there for me, supporting me every chance I got. I’ve always been blessed to share a close relationship with Gong Gong, and words can’t describe how much I’ll miss him.

Becoming a Chan

December 27, 2020
David and I got married 6/19/1999, the day I officially became a member of the Chan family.  However, 7 years before that, I started dating David and his parents and siblings instantly won me over.  I remember going to Hong Kong in 1996 and my in-laws took me on a boat around Hong Kong and introduced me to fresh seafood on Lamma Island. Dad loved Hong Kong and he also took pride in showing us where he worked. It was very clear that he was well liked and revered as everyone greeted us with the utmost respect.  Over the years we enjoyed many meals together including seafood, steak, dim sum, etc. I shared Dad’s love of food and I think he captured me eating in every picture he ever took of me. We had a great time traveling and seeing the world and eating. He always enjoyed my vegetable bone soup whenever he visited.  Dad meticulously planned every family vacation making sure we were safe.  He was carrying hand sanitizers way before 2020.  Dad made each of us a travel kit before we landed in Hong Kong including a loaded Octopus card, cash, phone number and address in case we got lost. Dad always made us feel very welcome.  To me, Dad was the essence of a family man. He cared so deeply for each of us including his 3 grand-dogs. I will always remember him with fondness and gratitude. The family will not be the same without him but he will always be in our hearts.


Gong Gong my Favorite

December 27, 2020
Gong Gong was the most loving grandpa ever. As the baby of the family, he would always call me “my favorite”, even in front of my cousins and siblings! He was so sweet, vacationing with us and making sure we always enjoyed ourselves.

I have so many fond memories of Gong Gong my favorite (my nickname for Gong Gong), especially when we would visit him in Hong Kong. First picking us up at the airport, Gong Gong would greet us with a hug and a ziploc bag filled with Hong Kong necessities. In the bag would be a small container of hand sanitizer, a fully stocked octopus card, cough drops, tissues, and an entire month membership to the New Club pool! When we arrived at Gong Gong and PoPo’s apartment, he would fully stock the freezer with sticky rice from Seven Eleven because he knew that they were my favorite and even had the bathtub cleaned out so I could take relaxing baths whenever I wanted. Gong Gong was always prepared when we visited, making sure that we had everything we needed for a relaxing, seamless trip. He went above and beyond to make us happy, buying a full month membership to the New Club when we were only staying four days. He always planned activities for us, like shopping at the IFC or eating dim sum. He loved us so much. Even if we had no activities for the day, Gong Gong was so happy to just walk around with his family, and follow where his grandkids wanted to go.

Gong Gong was always supportive no matter what we did. He would hype me up, telling me to be confident, to not worry what others think, and to do things that make me happy. He never failed to love me unconditionally, even when I fought with my sibling or did bad on a test, and kept a photo of me in his office. I love you so so so much Gong Gong my favorite. I miss you.

Yeye

December 27, 2020
Throughout my life, I have known my grandfather (Yeye) to be a thoughtful, generous and loving person.

Yeye always prioritized his family. He constantly went above and beyond to make sure we were all happy. Every time I saw him, he showered me with love and presents. From a distance, his generosity continued as he encouraged us to go out and have fun and gifted us with many dinners and shopping trips. His generosity was over the top -- to the point where my dad would make us decline many of his gestures. But Yeye just wanted to make sure we were all enjoying, and making the most of life.

Although the gifts were much appreciated, my fondest memories are from my time spent with Yeye. We have traveled all around the world together and shared many memories from walking my dog Ace at my local high school to eating dim sum at the top of the IFC mall. Wherever we are, the best parts about our travels are being surrounded by family. Whenever we were all together, Yeye loved to capture the moments by bringing out his iPhone, opening the white flap to his phone case, and taking what people thought was a picture but usually ended up being video. While I felt silly waving at the camera, Yeye saw his family, who he loved dearly.

His love for others is reflected by how he is loved by many, and he will be greatly missed.

My Yeye

December 27, 2020
My Yeye was one of the most generous and loving people I have ever known. I am so lucky to call him my grandfather and will never forget his contagious smile. Yeye was the kind of person who was happiest going shopping not for himself, but with us grandkids so that we could go buy things for ourselves. He was an altruistic man who loved making others happy. Every time I would see him he would treat my family to feasts. Some of my best meals were with him as we would go out to eat delicious seafood or mouthwatering steaks.

 I remember earlier in my life when I would serve him food he would tell me he wanted just a taste. Initially I would give him a small portion and he would smile at me and say “maybe just a little more.” When I would add a little more he would laugh and say “Okay I’ll take a lot.” From then on I would always give Yeye much bigger portions whenever we ate. 

Just like his appetite for food, he had a tremendous appetite for adventure. I remember even in the freezing cold he would love to go for walks in Winnipeg. I can barely get out of bed during the winters in Montreal and here he was in his 60s wanting to walk around in even colder temperatures to spend time with me. We traveled to so many amazing places together (Mexico, The Great Wall of China, USA, Xian, Taiwan to name a few) and he gifted me with some of the best memories of my life. Most of my friends have barely left the country. Yeye encouraged me to see the world.  

Although Yeye may not physically be here, he is only a thought away and will always be here with us in our hearts. He was the best grandfather I could have ever hoped for and I am extremely proud to carry the name Chan. 


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